The way they were meant to be
by zanthia122
Summary: -COMPLETED- After half a year of struggle, they finally came together. But when Harry's Occlumency lessons went awry, and she had to fly to the Ministry of Magic, would their budding, fragile relationship survive? SSHG
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: As much as I wanted to, these characters don't belong to me. They are all J.K.Rowling's, to whom I owe the pleasure I am having in writing and meddling with her creations haha. Please don't sue me or anything.

A/N: This is my first fic and I had not yet decide the pairing tho it would be Hermione with a teacher...I am thinking Snape. English is not my first language so please forgive me for my grammar or spelling mistakes or whatsoever. Oh, and excuse me for my not-so-fluent style of writing. I am really trying my best. Kindly review thx!

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It was a cool fall afternoon. The trees of the Forbidden Forest were changing from green to gold, the sky was pale blue and cloudless. A tender breeze passed by the couple walking along the trail beside the Great Lake. Apart from the sound of water flowing, it was completely quiet.

Hermione and Ron had been walking for fifteen minutes and they had not spoken a word.

It was amazing that we can walk together so peacefully without anybody else. I wonder when will he take my hand... Hermione blushed slightly at the thought, and became way too interested in the pebbles along the path, not daring to look up at Ron.

Suddenly Ron grabbed her shoulders gently and turned her to face him.

"Hermy..." he whispered.

This is it, Hermione felt her palms sweating. _This is going to be the moment. We are going to share our first kiss... _she had been waiting for this moment, hadn't she? But somehow there was something wrong...

As she closed her eyes in anticipation- expecting Ron's soft and moist lips to touch hers- Ron gave a shriek suddenly.

"What?" Hermione snapped her eyes open.

"Y- your hair. Th- there was something- a s- spi- spider in you- your hair!" Said Ron in an unusually high-pitched voice.

Hermione didn't know what to say, or how to react. She swatted the small spider away, like it was the least matter they should be focusing on. "Ron, you are about a hundred thousand times _larger_ than that tiny thing, and it should fear you- rather than the other way round." She closed her eyes again. Surely Ron would get the clue. Surely he would know that all she wanted was to put that spider behind and enjoy their first ever kiss.

However, Ron obviously didn't get the clue and had no intention to put the spider-incident away. He eyed the hand Hermione used to swat the spider, and went, "I am not going to hold your hands unless you wash them a thousand times _and_ use a cleaning charm on them every time we hold hands."

That had to be the most unromantic thing that a boy could say on his first date, to his love. Hermione cried, "You are sooooo CHILDISH!" and stomped her feet -

- On her bedpost. "Ouch!!" She cried out loud. Lavender stirred in her bed.

It was all only a dream. _Thank God. _Hermione got out of bed feeling very confused. She staggered into the bathroom and did all the brushing and combing in an only-half-awake way.

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By the time Hermione finished dressing up, she felt much more refreshed and her mind was clearer. She looked at her watch- hello, it was only six in the morning! _Good, I can do some early reading on Transfiguration._ She took her reference book ("Transfiguration for the dumbest dummies") and went down to the common room.

There was no one in the common room, of course. Hermione settled herself into a big comfy velvet armchair beside the fireplace in which orange flames were dancing merrily. She flipped the thick book open, and started to read.

Soon it became clear that she wasn't going to do any reading this morning. Her mind kept drifting away from the book to her dream this morning.

Okay, so she was in fifth-year and it was about time for her to have a boyfriend. Oh, yeah, she knew Ron liked her a lot. _Liked._ Everyone seem to think they would make the best couple... it wasn't like Hermione didn't thought so herself. That was before the stupid, stupid dream; now she doubted every possibility that they would become an item.

People say dreams are supposed to be your subconscious reflecting... she wondered what was her subconscious telling her? Well, maybe deep down she knew Ron was just not the one for her. All the reading had made her much more mature than her fellow friends. Sometimes when she spent time with them, when she laughed at their jokes and planks, she was feeling amazed with half a brain, "Why, they actually found this funny," and laughing with the other half at this. Not that she didn't enjoy their company, but sometimes she was just so tired of it. That's when she dived into the sea of books where she absorbs knowledge like a dry sponge.

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** Kuc-crumbbbb**. Hermione snapped her head up. She looked at her watch, and found that it was already eight o'clock. She then looked at the heap of entangled boys at the foot of the boys' dorm staircase. She shook her head as Harry and Ron struggled to disentangle themselves.

" 'Morning Hermione," greeted Ron and Harry, their faces red from an early fight. Not only Harry, but also Ron's hair looked messy this morning.

"Been fighting over the toothpaste." Said Ron, "Harry wouldn't let me share his chicken-flavored one." Harry nudged him in the ribs.

"Chicken-flavored?" Hermione echoed disbelievingly. "_Chicken-flavored????_"

The boys grinned apologetically.

"Oh well, _boys_," Hermione rolled her eyes and set off to the Great Hall. _How possibly could I have someone like these as a boyfriend? Seriously?_

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A/N: So how da ya like it? Ok I know it is not very good...but then it is my first alright? SO....please please please review...who do you think I should pair Hermione with...*grins evilly* o'coz Severus would be much much MUCH more fun than Lupin, but hey, jus tell me what u think...


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: All HP characters are J.K.Rowling's. I am only writing because I enjoy it immensely, and I don't gain anything from the story.

A/N: This chapter is quite long, I guess...nvm, I have about 3 months totally nothing to do and so I guess I will just write long chapters _and_ update frequently! And once I started writing I can't stop! I spent my every waking moment thinking about the story! So...please read it and review! And, er, I found it very hard to think up good chappie name and I don't have a beta reader to do that for me...:p so I guess I will stick to Ch.1 Ch.2 and so on!

**She-who-must-not-be-named**: Thank you thank you thank you! *in tears* You can't imagine how much your first review meant to me!!!! I am so HAPPY when I saw someone actually reviewing!! As for the colon thingie, I know how frustrating it must be to see those!! I am using a Chinese computer thatz why. Hopefully I fixed it this time! Thx once again!! o^^o

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The Great Hall was almost full when Hermione, Harry and Ron arrived. The sky today was bright blue with fluffy clouds. _Today looks like a very fine day,_ thought Hermione while the three of them sat down between Ginny and Lavender.

"Rummy, thhish ish gooosh," said Ron with his mouth full of strawberry pancakes.

"Yeah," Harry agreed. He was not talking gibberish, neither was he dropping crumbs out of the corner of his mouth, but he was tucking into the waffles and pancakes just as hungrily. 

Hermione didn't know whether to help clean up Ron's mess or to make some remarks about their table manners first, so at the end, she decided she would just eat her breakfast. She was having her second waffle (with maple syrup) when Dumbledore clinked his empty glass. The noises in the Great Hall slowly died down. However, Dumbledore continued clinking his glass with the fork and looked like he was about to clink other professors' glass when Professor McGonagall coughed pointedly. 

"Oh...got lost in the clink of glasses again, haven't I? I got lost every single time, love the chime of glasses, I do...Where was I?" Professor McGonagall rolled her eyes in a way that said _You had gone nowhere _and bent over to say something in his ears.

"Ahem, yeah, I was making an announcement," said Dumbledore, and stood up. "This year we are organizing a ball like last year, and only third years or above can attend-" There was a loud groan from the first and second years, but a cheer from thirdyears who aren't allowed to go to the Yule Ball last year. "-sorry. As I was saying-"

But he was being interrupted again.

"Why are we having a ball again?" Fred called out.

"Surely the Be-ugh-bacon and Dungstruck aren't coming this year?" George muttered loud enough for everyone to hear.

"No, no," smiled Dumbledore. "We don't have the honor to host the students from the two very best school of the continent this year. We are arranging the ball because it is such great fun! I enjoyed dancing with Minerva totally of course... but, eh, that's not important...what is important is that this year instead of The Weird Sisters we are inviting _Jason Pereira_." He said dramatically, and half of the witches in the Great Hall went, "_NO!_" and the other half went, "_GOD!_" Some boys looked frustrated, but most wore a "Come again?" look.

"Yes," Dumbledore assured them with a patent twinkle in his eyes. "Jason Pereira is coming. That's why I am announcing this so early. To give you girls some time to _prepare_." He sat down. As soon as he did this, the Great Hall erupted into excited talks.

"Who is this Jason guy?" Asked Harry.

"You are not serious, Harry," replied Lavender, whose mouth was still agape. "Jason Pereira! Winner of Cutest-Wizard-Walked-On-Earth-Ever Award six times in a row! In fact, no one else had won the award after he started his career!"

"That, and the fact that he has such nice voice," squeaked Parvati. "Haven't you heard of his kissing on a winged horse? He has this deep, sexy voice."

"And his eyes are like deep whirlpools that when he look at you you feel you are being dragged in, and you won't care," said Lavender dreamily.

"And his lips," Parvati licked her lips.

"His brows,"

"And his ability to make girls talk on and on and on about him?" asked Ron.

The girls agreed in unison. Ron saw that even Ginny nodded, blushing. He looked at Hermione, and asked, "You are not into him, right?" The fact that Hermione was so quiet after Dumbledore's announcement convinced him so.

"Oh, the reason why I am saying nothing is because I am busy planning what to wear on the ball so Jason will notice me," answered Hermione absently. With this the girls left the table together.

Ron gaped at them as they left. Harry turned to Ron and said, "I hate him."

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After a disastrous double Care of Magical Creatures- this year Hagrid had decided that they would raise Muuksaides, a creature that resembles a puddle of gray mud. All they do is slide across the floor, and merge together, which Hagrid pointed out was not wise to let them, because they would eventually became a puddle so big that was impossible to clean up. The Griffindors and Hufflepuffs had spent the entire lesson stopping them finding their mates- the now filthy and reek-of-dead-fish Griffindors headed towards the dungeons where they were to have Potions with the Slytherins ("AGAIN?!" said Ron).

As Hermione, Harry and Ron arrived the top of the staircase that would lead to the dungeons, they saw a girl with long wavy blonde hair and Professor Snape at the bottom of the staircase. Snape was leaning against the moist wall, his arms folded. The girl was pushing a pink box to him.

"Professor, please. You know how long I've been working on these." The girl purred softly. Her tongue curled at every syllable, so when she said 'professor' it didn't sound like 'professor', but _prrrrofesssssor_. 

Ron's jaws dropped a second time that day. He whispered, "You see what she is doing?"

Harry nodded, "She is flirting with Snape. _Flirting_." 

Hermione gasped incredulously, "I think I am going to be _sick_." Oh, the last thing she wanted to see was a scenario like this. _God, I can't believe someone would fancy a mouldy slimy git like Snape. Not to mention rude. And ugly. Ok, so he was not THAT ugly, he actually had very round black eyes... STOP!! That's SO not what I should be thinking!_ Hermione mentally berated herself, and got back to her senses, only to find that Snape was now glaring at them, and the girl was blushing furiously. She thrusted the pink box into Snape's hands and ran off.

"Twenty points from Griffindor for can't keep their eyes to themselves and spying on a teacher," said Snape easily, he was so used to taking points away he needn't think twice for a reason.

Harry and Ron growled, but dare not say another word. The three of them entered the dungeon with Snape right behind them. He placed the pink box causally on his desk, took up the scattered notes, and started teaching. 

Today they were going to brew an Alleviate Potion that can ease most pains. Of course Hermione, being Hermione, knew all about it already. She slowly drifted away from the lesson, which was really rare. Her quill slipped from her hand, as she comfortably rested her head on her arm and parchment( much to Ron's annoyance because he had to keep brushing off her hair from his parchment). She stared at the pink box, then at Snape, who was now deeply absorbed in teaching and torturing his students. He spoke with so much authority, grasping every student's attention (except Hermione's). _Like he own the place... Ok so maybe he do own the place, but he don't own us. We don't want to be sitting here. _What she just saw kept replaying in her head, and she couldn't help staring the pink box again. _What's in there? Oh, Moody's magical eye would come in handy now..._

"-so now we start to brew the potion," said Snape cynically, like he didn't trust any of them to successfully brew the potion. Everyone stood up and went over to their cauldrons. Except Hermione. Ron and Harry noticed that she was not with them, and turned to see she was still sitting by the table, like she was copying notes. Only she was not. She was obviously daydreaming. Harry dashed forward, but it was too late.

"Well well well." Snape walked over to Hermione, and towered over her. "Our know-it-all is daydreaming today. What a surprise." 

The Slytherins sniggered. The Griffindors had to agree... they had never seen Hermione daydream _and_ got caught before. What was more surprising was that with all this noise and a big shadow casting over her, she had not come round. It was not until Snape gave her a not-very-gentle tap on her shoulder that she jerked up, "Wha- What the-?"

"Ten points from Griffindor for not paying attention, and five more points for making me touch you," hissed Snape malevolently. Hermione stood up quickly, knocking her chair over, which cost Griffindor another five points, and herself, a detention next week. Hermione was so embarrassed that she was very near to bury her head into her cauldron whole lesson.

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"I can't believe how many homework we have. It's only the-" 

"- second week. Of a very very important year, we are taking our OWLs, remember? Now Ron if you can't study quietly, I beg you to leave me alone." With this Hermione buried herself into the thick Defense Against the Dark Arts reference book. 

Ron looked somewhat taken aback but didn't move. He only murmured something like,'I am not going anywhere, and no need to beg, I can study quietly'.

Just when Hermione thought she could finally start reading about this extremely difficult Topsy-Turvy Spell, she heard a large **bang**. Looking up reluctantly, she saw Neville lying on the floor. Behind him was Ginny, who clumsily climbed through the portrait hole and helped Neville to his feet. Not only this, but she actually kneeled down and dusted his robes. Neville went crimson and said goodbye to Ginny, then walked up to his dorm.

"Neville-?" Hermione was getting tired of surprises. "Ginny- ?"

Ginny sat down beside Hermione. Her cheeks were pink, and there was a big grin plastered on her face. 

"When exactly," demanded Ron. "had you start going out with Neville?"

"Ron!" Ginny cried, her face getting significantly redder." Everyone would hear!"

But Ron didn't care. He repeated his question in a dangerous tone, and threatened to inform Mrs. Weasley if she don't tell him. Ginny threw her hands into the air and gave her brother an eye, but she nevertheless told them about her first date.

"He walked up to me and asked me out last Sunday night. Said he had been planning for months, and only managed to ask me after mustering courage over the whole summer vacation...I have to admit, one reason why I am going out with him is because he is so helpless...like he can't do anything without someone beside him... "

"Then why are you still going out with that, that pathetic Neville? He hardly had any magic in him!" bellowed Ron, getting into his over-protective mode.

Ginny shot up at that, and glared at Ron indignantly. "For your information, Neville is nothing near pathetic. I had a very happy evening with him."

"Oh really? I think the only reason for you to go out with him is because you have nowhere to let out your, your _motherly love_!"

"The only reason why I am going out with him is that I am sick of being the smallest and have to put up with you! When I am with him I feel needed! That's all I want!" Ginny then stormed upstairs in tears.

"Oh Ron that is so- so _Malfoy_ of you to say!" Hermione dropped her book and followed Ginny upstairs hastily.

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When Hermione entered the room Ginny had already stopped crying, much to Hermione's relief, though her eyes were still wet and red. Lavender was sitting beside and holding her, speaking comforting words to her. Hermione walked over and joined them.

"He is just over protective," Hermione heard Lavender said, "He didn't mean it."

"Yeah, I know, I just don't want him to talk about my- my-" Ginny stammered.

"Boyfriend," Hermione offered.

"Anyway I just don't want him to talk about Neville like that. Not after we had our first date. And I actually enjoyed it," Ginny said with a smile. 

"You know, no offence, but it, er, surprise me that you two are going out." Hermione said bewildered. "Of course, you are already a fourth-year, and it's about time, but I...well, let's just say I, a fifth-year, has yet to have a boyfriend. Shouldn't you concentrate on study-"

"Don't listen to her, Gin, it is _perfectly_ normal for you to concentrate on having a boyfriend," interrupted Lavender jokingly. "Especially a cute, er, chubby boyfriend like Neville."

"Well, Hermione, now that you mention it, I think it is about time for you to have a boyfriend," Parvati called from her bed. She was lying there reading romance novels, though it was obvious that she had followed the conversation very closely.

"Yeah, you know, a boyfriend is useful in many ways," Lavender said in a serious tone. She was going out with Dean.

"Like what." Hermione asked flatly. She was suddenly painfully aware of the fact that she was the only one in the room yet to have a boyfriend. 

"Oh, come on Hermione there is nothing to be ashamed of," said Ginny gently, reading her mind. "For one thing, you need not worry about who to go with to the ball. You can also study with your boyfriend and both of you can improve..."

"Haha, I doubt that highly, cause Hermione needs no one to study with, she is doing very well on her own," said Parvati with an unnoticeable tint of sour in her voice. 

"Think about it Herm, if you don't need anyone to study with, you can study him, oh I don't mean it _that_ way," added Lavender seeing their faces. "I mean, come off it, nobody is perfect- not even you Herm. Won't you sometimes don't understand what are in the books? You see, that's what I do with Dean..." she trailed off. Hermione and Ginny looked at her expectantly. 

Lavender cleared her throat, "Well, I tried every new spell or potion I learnt on him. And I predict his fate, everyday."

"What, you hex him everyday? And he let you?" Ginny asked widening her eyes.

"Yeah." Lavender said with an apologetical grin. "And it is very useful. I remember every spell since I can see their effects..." 

Hermione thought about the Topsy-Turvy Spell. It would be nice to see how it works. She had been thinking about what to try it on.

"Now Hermione I have to warn you not to find a boyfriend just to hex him," said Lavender. "A boyfriend is an outlet for you to unleash your passion, your love, your feelings lying deep down in your soul... am I right Ginny?"

"I didn't unleash anything," replied Ginny blushing again. "We just ate something and walked a little-"

Hermione got off Ginny's bed and said 'goodnight' while the other two hadn't heard her because they were now deeply in conversation about every single detail of Ginny's first date. She brushed her teeth and got on her bed, listening to the small whispers and giggles coming from the next. She laid there staring at the ceiling, lost in thoughts.

_Is it true that I need a boyfriend? If so, who then?_

Finally, Hermione fell asleep after a long day.

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	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Nothing HP belongs to me, they're all JKR's. I only write fanfic because I enjoy it so much. Please don't sue me, you will be wasting your money.

A/N: Soooo, another long chapter...is it long? I am not sure but I spent over 4 hrs on it! Now please please read and more importantly, REVIEW!! Plz tell me what you think...

To **She-who-must-not-be-named**: Omg you came back and review again!! I am so thrilled!!! I hope I can get more reviews soon, thankyou so much! Luv ya(and your stories)!

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It was a cool fall afternoon. The trees of the Forbidden Forest were changing from green to gold, the sky was pale blue and cloudless. A tender breeze passed by the couple walking along the trail beside the Great Lake. Apart from the sound of water flowing, it was completely quiet.

Hermione and Ron had been walking for fifteen minutes and they had not spoken a word.

_ It was amazing that we can walk together so peacefully without anybody else. I wonder when will he take my hand..._ Hermione blushed slightly at the thought, and became way too interested in the pebbles along the path, not daring to look up at Ron.

Suddenly Ron grabbed her shoulders gently and turned her to face him.

"Hermy..." he whispered.

This is it, Hermione felt her palms sweating. _This is going to be the moment. We are going to share our first kiss... _she had been waiting for this moment, hadn't she? But somehow there was something wrong...

"Oh no boy you are not going to kiss her," hissed a venomous voice. Hermione felt herself being yanked out of Ron's grip, and the next thing she knew, she was in someone's arms and her face was leaning against a soft warm chest. She immediately relaxed like a kitten in her basket with a warm blanket. She tried to look up , but couldn't because he had one hand gently pressing her head. All she could see... _feel,_ was the cool black robes of the man.

"What, do you think, are you doing with _my _girl, walking _alone_ down to the forest? So you think it would be, _romantic_?" The man said maliciously, Hermione could feel every word he said vibrating his ribcage. 

"Wha- what? Sorry professor but I don't think I hear you right- your girl?" Stammered Ron. 

Hermione thought hard, _a professor? Yes, yes, he sounds familiar. But am I in love with a professor? Seriously? Who is he? _ She tried to look up again but the man just wouldn't let her. She felt her eyes watered, and slowly she turned herself to face a very pale Ron. 

"Sorry, Ron," she caught herself sobbing. "I- I just don't...can't... love you. I am tired of your spider-phobia...Oh I am so sorry..."

Ron gave a small cry and bolted in tears. 

Hermione looked in the direction Ron ran, feeling miserable as never. The last thing she wanted to do was to break her best friend's heart, but apparently she just did. She felt a finger gently wiping every tear on her face, as a result, even more fell. 

"Now, now, Hermione, I am sure he will get over it soon. There's nothing to cry about," said the man quietly. He embraced her, and seeing that she was not going to stop, he placed his fingers on her chin and slowly lifted her face. "Look at me Hermione."

Hermione didn't want this man- whoever he was- to see her crying, but his touch though gentle, was insistent. She reluctantly looked up, and through her tears she saw-

- Professor Severus Snape.

"**NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!**" Hermione screamed and jerked up. Parvati swore, throwing her pillow over her head. _It was only a dream, only a dream_, Hermione placed a sweating hand on her heaving chest, trying to reassure herself. Still panting, she looked around the dormitory. The earliest rays of sunlight had slipped through the blinds, making funny shapes across the brownish-red carpet. She narrowed her eyes as she try to read the grandfather clock in the dim light- it was only five thirty. She laid back down, trying to get some more sleep.

She sat up a few minutes later and ran her hand through her hair- only to find it a sticky mess. _Oh for Pete's sake!_ she muttered a spell angrily and immediately her sweat-soaked bedspread was cleaned. She grasped her favorite shampoo and went into the bathroom.

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Lying in the bathtub comfortably, Hermione relaxed and closed her eyes. However she opened them immediately again because she could see Snape floating in her mind. Frustrated, she submerged herself into the tepid water. 

_What is happening? Why am I having these strange dreams, nightmares even? It's only the second week into the semester, surely it can't be overwork? Subconscious, my dear subconscious, what ARE you trying to tell me?_

Hermione sat back up, rubbing her face. Feeling calmer, she thought,_ it must be the combined effects of the shock of seeing someone fancying Snape and the little talk last night with Ginny and Lav. Nothing special. I am not out of my mind. _She rinsed her body one last time and dried herself. As she walked out of the bathroom, she convinced herself forcefully, _I am NOT loving- liking Snape, _and closed the bathroom door, determined to lock all stupid thoughts and dreams inside.

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The students sitting around the tables were chatting away, while helping themselves to scrambled eggs and sausages. Ron and Harry slept in as they had no lesson this morning. Hermione, on the other hand, had Ancient Runes. She sat with Ginny, munching her sausages absent-mindedly. Her eyes drifted away from the attractive food on the table, to the enchanted ceiling (a beautiful autumn morning with only the lightest wisps of clouds), then to the High Table. The teachers were all talking of nothing important, the atmosphere light. _Of course, it was only the second week and naturally the workload had not gotten to them yet, unlike us,_ Hermione was about to look away when suddenly her eyes locked themselves onto a black-robed figure.

Severus Snape was not joining in the conversation. Light workload or not, he was always keeping that stern, if not expressionless, face. His long hair was very tidy, as usual, not one piece out of place. He was wearing his black robes and black cloak- the usual, again. Hermione wondered whether he had ever wore anything else. _Not in Hogwarts at least_, she thought, amused. His eyebrows were thick. His eyes were quite round and big for a male, but didn't seem disproportional on his face. His nose was quite crooked, and looked like it had been punched by a gorilla. Hermione chuckled at this thought. His ears- no, couldn't see them cause they were always covered by his hair. His lips were always pursed so that his mouth looked like a thin line. His face was not too pale..._funny, black usually did that to people. Making them pale and ghastly. But not to him. Black made him seem separated, stood out from the others, maybe even an outcast...but not pale. Or ugly. Yeah, black was his color, it brought his character out, and he looked- cool in it..._

Being a spy for so many years had taught Severus Snape many things, one of them was to always stay watchful and alert. His constant vigilance had caused him to feel someone watching this morning. He had been spied plenty of times before of course, and every single time he could recognize it. He would perform what the spies wanted to see, and that was why he was still not dead. That familiar uneasy feeling was back, but it was different this time... he didn't feel like a frightened prey under the eyes of a calculating hunter, nor had he had the queer feeling that someone was out to get him. Just a lukewarm, harmless gaze he felt on his face- not giving any creeps at all.

He slowly, casually took a sip from his goblet and scanned the Hall. He expected to find cold eyes staring at him from the Slytherin table, but no one was looking at him. He turned and one by one checked the Hufflepuffs and the Ravenclaws. No one was paying him any attention. Finally he glanced through the Griffindors, and noticed instantly that a pair of brown eyes was staring at him. Her coffee-brown, frizzling hair was casually draping over her forehead. She sat with her left elbow on the table, and her right hand was holding a fork, constantly trying to poke a sausage but missing the plate by a few inches every strike. He found her ever-changing expression- from frowning to amusement to self-chuckling- quite entertaining. 

_ Hermione Granger. Why is she staring at me like this? Surely she is planning something, but what? Anything to do with Potter?_ He leant back, arms folded, and put on his best look of animosity. Which was extremely horrifying, honestly. Students could almost inhale the venom radiating off him, and all turned away quickly. _Who had angered our Potions Master this time?_ They murmured between themselves. 

Hermione noticed neither the change of Snape nor the students. She was busy looking at Snape's slender and extraordinarily long fingers. _Wouldn't they get entangled?_ She was wondering when suddenly, she too felt the uneasiness of someone watching. She looked up, and their gazes entwined. She could feel her cheeks going intensely hot. _Oh God, how long had I been staring at him? And how LONG had he been observing me? Is that what he is doing? Observing me? I am so going to be the first witch that died of embarrassment in Hogwarts...and oh no why, why WHY had I stared at him in the first place??? _Hermione felt like her mind was going to burst under all the questions and thoughts that had sprouted out of nowhere. She paid her full attention to the golden plates in front of her, not daring to look up again.

Snape curled his lips into a thin, triumphant smile. So he hadn't lost his touch after all, he was fearing so when Hermione hadn't look away. He was still the sternest professor in Hogwarts and the looks that he gave were still very terrifying and intimidating. _Good. _He thought for a moment, then bent over to Dumbledore, "Is there dirt on my face?"

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Ancient Runes and Arithmancy had been very satisfactory to Hermione, who had somewhat gotten over the shock during breakfast and was determined not to have her head in the clouds again. She worked extra hard in those lessons and nearly upset her inkbottle by writing so much and so quickly. She was now having her head in the parchments, silently revising the notes once more as she headed towards the dungeons for Potions. She was an expert in reading-while-walking, and effortlessly she approached the dungeons without bumping into anyone.

This part of the castle was dimmer, so she took out her wand and said _Lumos, _her eyes still fully focused on the parchment. She knew there would be a trick step ahead, so she skipped- a little too early, missing a step. _No..._ Without a free hand for balancing, she readied herself for the coming pain. 

Only the pain didn't come. A large, strong hand had seized her. Hermione opened her eyes, and steadied herself. She searched for the one who had just saved her, and her eyes locked with those of a scowling Snape.

"Do not read while walking. Ten points from Griffindor." He snarled, letting go of her, dusted his robes, and left. Hermione picked up the scattered notes and her wand, then hastily followed. On the way she scolded herself, _why must I make a fool of myself in front of him twice a day? And why do I care, when he obviously thought I was stupid anyway, without me helping? _

Entering the dungeon Hermione found two very refreshed boys. Harry and Ron flashed their brightest smiles, and gestured her to sit over. 

"So, you had two long lessons already, eh? We slept in till eleven," said Ron cheerfully.

"What's wrong?" Asked Harry seeing her grumpy face.

"Nothing." Hermione grunted, and focused on Snape. She did not want Harry and Ron to know about her dreams and random thoughts, especially not her peculiar behaviors... yet. Not until she had found out what all these meant.

----------

Hermione was finding it hard to concentrate in Potions, not because it was boring like History of Magic, but because of the professor's voice. It was deep and silky, low at times that you need to listen with all your might to get what he was saying. There was usually a cynical tone in his voice, but it was never too cold. And there was a power in his words that told you how well he knew his potions. Yes, he sounded as though every potion ever created belonged to him. Any rumors about Snape that he did not know anything about potions and was only after the DADA job was plain nonsense. His eyes would start to glitter madly at the very beginning of the lesson, energy would radiate from him... it was obvious that he liked his job immensely. He remembered every single thing they needed to know about potions, and from the first potions lesson they had not seen him referring to any textbooks, but a magical chalk would write down every instruction he give on the blackboard behind him.

_Amazing how his single tone could express so many emotions, he didn't even cock an eyebrow, just a slight change in tone..._ Hermione mused. She was making mental notes on the kinds of emotions his voice could describe when Snape told them to brew the potion. She walked over to her cauldron together with others this time, without a single idea of what she was going to make.

"Adopting Sip," she read from the blackboard, smiled, and let out a sigh of relief. _I have read about that. _She set up her cauldron merrily and wanted to hum, but thought better of it. Slicing the caterpillars and dicing the begonia roots skillfully, she placed all of them into the boiling cauldron. 

"Morning glory vines, trout scales, dragonfly wings," she muttered to herself as she gently lowered each ingredient into the pinkish mixture. She pushed her stopwatch and started to stir. "Stir for three minutes precisely," she told herself.

"Miss Granger, what do you think you are doing?" Snape breathed the question onto her neck. She twirled to face him. Snape asked again in his most dangerous voice. "Haven't I quite clearly stated-" With a wave of wand he highlighted the words on the blackboard- "Do not stir the mixture. Wait three minutes before lowering the fire." 

"But- but that is incorrect! According to _The Essential Book of O.W.L. Potions_-"

"Don't tell me what is in the book. Do what I told you."

"But- but- 'add three pairs of dragonfly wings and stir for three minutes precisely. Lower the fire and bring potion to simmer.' " She recited in a wailing tone. "You need to stir the potion, otherwise-"

"I am telling you. Don't. Stir. The. POTION!" Snape exploded, "Wait. Wait, yeah. Miss Granger, do it your way. You won't listen to me anyway. But bear in mind. I am going to test your potion on Mr. Weasley after class." he added seeing her stubborn face.

After everyone, even Neville had finished the potion, Snape had the class circled around his desk. He took a flask of Lavender's potion and another of Hermione's. Handing it to Harry and Ron, he smiled unpleasantly. "Drink it," he ordered. Ron looked at Hermione, _you better be sure about this, _then gulped the pink potion.

Simultaneously Harry and Ron changed, like a chameleon, slowly blending into their surroundings. In a few minutes both disappeared. The class looked bewildered, and wondered what would happen next. Meanwhile Hermione was restless, standing on one foot then swiftly shifting to another.

Twenty minutes passed by and nothing happened. Ron and Harry were told to stay motionless, and the class, originally anticipating patiently, started to feel disappointed, some even packing up their things. Hermione was about to throw a victorious glance at Snape when suddenly Parvati shrieked, "LOOK!"

Hermione turned to see Ron shimmered, then blended back in. Then he shimmered again, and started to flash in different colors like a bad light bulb. He was also shaking uncontrollably. Hermione stood stupefied, unable to react, as Snape washed the antidote down Ron's throat, who then coughed his guts out. 

"Miss Brown, take Mr. Weasley to the hospital wing. Class, write a fifteen-inched essay on How Stirring affects Adoptive Sip and Why, to be handed in next lesson. You are dismissed," With that the class cleared up their tables and packed their belongings, then one by one edged towards the exit. Hermione gestured Harry, who was still invisible until he moved, to go first. She then walked up to Snape's large oak desk.

"What," demanded Snape, sitting behind the desk, arms folded again.

"Er, I- I am sorry professor," Hermione whispered, feeling very uneasy. She was not used to saying sorry, or being wrong for that matter. " I must have remembered the wrong text."

"You haven't. I am quite surprised by your ability to rote the whole book," Snape said idly. "I did that myself too. But then, potions are more than mere books. They contain power- magic- that no one could hope to inscribe on pages. Haven't you noticed?"

"Huh? Notice what, sir?"

"So you haven't. I am surprised, Little Miss Know-it-all." Hermione growled at this. "Can't you see, because I couldn't find enough Blue-eyed Dragonflies for you all I used Fierystripes as a sub."

"Of course! Of course it was Fierystripes' wings, they're red-streaked... they are more explosive... so that's why I shouldn't stir it... it would become too activated and unsteady after awhile..." Hermione calmly stated, realizing how dumb she had been.

"Nice observation. It would be nicer if you had noticed it an hour ago. Now a very important part of brewing potions is adopt. You still have a lot to learn, Miss Granger, although apparently, you think you know it all already," Snape said disapprovingly.

Hermione bit on her lip, suddenly realizing she was alone with him in the dungeons. _Oh no don't blush_, she warned herself. _Why would I?_ retorted another voice in her head.

"Thank you Professor," she smiled genuinely. She knew she would never have learnt anything if Snape had forced her to stop stirring, but seeing her mistakes with her own eyes... she smiled at him again, then walked out of the dungeons.

Snape sat startled for two seconds, then snorted, and went back to his own business.

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	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Anything in the HP world is mine!! I wish...*sigh* I am making a zillion when anyone reads this!! Yeah, thatz likely...*sigh again* 

A/N: Another chapter! It was originally twice longer, but I figured I might as well put this up first! Chapter 5 will be out really soon coz I'm halfway through it already! Yay! And more updates means more REVIEWS!! *eye those who had got 1000 reviews jealously* Haha!! And to my dearest sweetest reviewers, I love ya! *Kiss and hug struggling reviewers* Thank you so much for the reviews, they are what I live on and why this story is still continuing! 

To **Fire Phoenix:** Well I do think R/Hr is a cute pair, and I don't mean to make Ron too bad. It's just- oh the temptation of pairing Hermione and Sevvie is too great!! Mwahahahaha!!

To **She-who-must-not-be-named:** O 'coz it'd be cute, my God I have plenty planning and waiting for them, I wish I can finish this Hermione struggle thingie sooner, hehe! Btw, your new chapter is very cool!

To **Geistesstorunghoffnungen:** Thank you! Your review makes my day, yeah! Hope you like this chapter too!!

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There was no potions lesson the next two days, and Hermione couldn't be more grateful. She found herself thinking about Snape now and then- when she should be concentrating during lessons, when she should be poring over books in the library, when she was sitting with Ron and Harry in the Common Room- and she was desperate to put a stop to it. Not seeing him for days was more than welcome.

_This is NOT right, _Hermione thought indignantly one night in the Common Room, books and parchments scattered before her. She was caught daydreaming _again _by Harry and Ron, who wore worried looks and wouldn't stop questioning her( "You never daydream, Hermione, _never_. Is everything alright?") before she threaten to hex them and ask them, rather roughly, to leave her alone. They then left with troubled looks, and talked once they were sure they were out of Hermione's earshot. 

_Hmph, no doubt saying that I am losing it finally. _Hermione thought bitterly, _Funny, they are correct. I AM losing it. _She shut her eyes wearily. A pale face immediately formed in her mind, a face that was so familiar now as it appeared every time sheclosed her eyes. The thick, always cocking brows; the large, though often narrowing, ink-black eyes; the thin, unyielding lips, sometimes sardonically curled. She snapped her eyes open. _NO! Get OUT of my head!_ She started thinking about him a lot since last lesson, sometimes remembering the dream and his strong grip when he saved her the other day. 

"Hey what cha doin'!?" chirped Lavender, walking over and unaware of the mental struggle Hermione was in. "Thought we'd do that Transfiguration essay together!"

Hermione stared at the too cheerful Lavender, who stared back defensively, "What."

Hermione shook her head, and said, "You went out with Dean again. Did he kiss you?"

Lavender could hardly suppress her glee, and went, "Wow, Herm, you should really take up Divination again." to which Hermione rolled her eyes and said, " It was hardly a prediction silly, it was written all over your face." Lavender playfully faked an anxious look and wiped her face vigorously. Hermione laughed and rolled her eyes again. Lavender sat down and looked at the many books and, to her surprise, empty parchments, that laid before Hermione.

"It's now, what, nine thirty already Herm, and-" Lavender pointed to the strolls, puzzled. "How come you haven't complete anything yet? I thought you'd have finished two essays already, to say the least."

Hermione frowned and slumped back into the plush, cherry-red velvet armchair. She massaged her temple tiredly and gave a long sigh. Lavender flicked her wand lightly and immediately all books and parchments were neatly piled. She then leaned back slightly, not saying a word, but her eyes were prompting Hermione to go on.

"O Lav you see, it is not that I don't want to work- I _do_ want to, mind you- I just can't concentrate," Hermione said with a sigh. There was no point hiding it from Lavender, she would find out sooner or later. _Boys, you see, are much simpler creatures. _She of course had tried to be harsh in order to shut Lavender, as well as Ginny, from her more personal matters. That didn't work. Lavender was just not afraid of Hermione's sarcasm or snideness, and whenever she thought Hermione was not being honest, she would look at her disapprovingly, clucking her tongue like an adult would to a lying kid. Ginny would simply give her puppy eyes and if Hermione insisted on _not_ telling her, tears would well. Both annoyed Hermione greatly who in the end, gave in.

Lavender cocked an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. Hermione shrugged," I dunno why. It's- nothing." Seeing her friend's face, she hastily changed the subject. "So, what about your date?"

Lavender glowed, "It was _wonderful_. You know what he did? He brought me up to the West Tower and we gazed at the stars. There had to be a million stars all twinkling at us and witnessed the kiss, I think I even saw a meteor," then, lowering her voice into a whisper," Last year when I looked into my crystal ball, it said that the man I am destined to will be really romantic. So do you think Dean is the one? He _had_ to... it feels so right-"

"How do you tell that it feels right? That you really are in love with him?" interrupted Hermione, who was interested but confused.

"Oww c'mon Hermione, how do you _tell_ if you are in love with a guy? That's _instincts_!" Seeing that Hermione truly did not understand, Lavender sighed, "Well, everyone's different when they're in love. But there are some common features... for one thing, most think about their love all day. Some can't shut up about their dates, like Parvati, and some will blush in another's presence. Most will probably act strange, not like themselves anymore... hey, Herm, is there something you are not telling me?" She eyed Hermione suspiciously.

"N- no! Absolutely nothing!" Hermione squeaked, picked up her books and bailed, "Gotta take a bath, see you in a minute!" 

----------

It had been a week since the intriguing conversation, but Hermione still couldn't figure out what had happened to her. What was certainly happening was that she was dreaming and thinking of Snape more and more often, even when she had her eyes opened and it was broad daylight the mental image was still there, as if it would materialize any second in front of her own eyes. This bothered her a lot, and her grades were slipping almost imperceptibly. She was horror-stricken, and spent, if that was possible, even more time in the library. However all she did was stare at the text. _Oh someone help me I can't even rote a page! _She would mentally slap herself, but a minute later she would drift off again.

This morning the Trio entered the Great Hall a little earlier, and resumed their usual seats. Hermione looked up at the High Table- this had became an annoying habit- and was not surprised to find that Snape was not there. _He was never there, so why feel disappointed? We don't need an overgrown hawk scowling at us during breakfast anyway, that'd take away our appetite,_ she mused dryly, chewing on her fork, but this thought didn't stop her worrying in a fleet second, _had he had any breakfast at all?_

Harry and Ron exchanged a badgered look, watching their best friend chew on a fork and lost in her own trail of thoughts, when the Mail arrived. A brown envelop was dropped in front of Hermione, who sat up suddenly like she just woke up. Ignoring her friends' stare, she opened the envelop.

"Oh, it was from Mum and Dad," she smiled at her father's addressing her as 'Dear Little Pumpkin Pie'. She read on, nodding and chuckling now and then, and suddenly let out a cry of excitement. "Oh my God I can't believe Janica is getting married!" 

"Who's getting married?" asked Harry.

"Janica is my favorite cousin! She was six years older than me- and I can't believe she is getting married so young- and Merlin, with a _wizard_!" Hermione exclaimed, pointing at the letter. "There is something more... 'Please ask your professors if it would be alright for you to attend the Wedding Party on 20th October, that is a Saturday.' Of course it would be okay! Janica's wedding, can't miss-" she stood up abruptly, "Gotta ask professor McGonagall now, see you in Potions!" With that she raced off before Harry and Ron could say anything.

----------

Hermione was in an excellent mood before stepping into the dungeons: she had just arranged with Professor McGonagall to go to Janica's Wedding Party on 20th October which turned out to be a Hogsmeade Weekend. She missed her parents and Janica badly, especially in these troubled times. But once she set foot in the chilly, moist dungeon, she could feel her cheerfulness slowly creeping away. 

Snape was already in the dungeon, as well as her classmates. His brows knitted together when he saw her entrance, his intensely icy gaze boring into her. She stood stunned for a second, lost in his eyes, but then recomposed herself and hurried to her seat.

"You are late," said Snape matter-of-factly, "that's worth ten points from Griffindor."

Hermione bit on her lip but said nothing. She would normally at least try a "but...", but today she didn't feel like it. _Talking back would only anger him further, so why bother? I really can't lose any more points. _Swiftly she took out her quill and parchment, and started to take notes. Soon she was overwhelmed by Snape's lesson and forgot all about the points he took away.

"Can someone please conclude, what are the effects of dried quail liver in this particular potion?" Snape asked at the end of the lesson. Upon hearing a question Hermione's hand shot itself up before she could think twice, _the least I need is him telling me I am an intolerable know-it-all! _Snape as usual, ignored her hand and spotted a shivering Neville. "Perhaps _you_, Longbottom?" he drawled, and shot a disdainful eye at Hermione's still-up hand.

It was a very quick glance- maybe not intended to be noticed, even- but Hermione caught it anyway. She looked at Neville, who went pallid and was trembling visibly, and saw that he was staring at her hand uncertainly. She flushed, suddenly feeling very ashamed, and quietly put down her hand. She looked up again, but Snape was not paying any attention to her anymore.

"Dried, quail livers made it possible for leech, juice to mix perfectly with, cobra venom, when diced precisely." It was hard for Neville to answer Snape's question- especially with Snape towering and glaring at him- and he had to gulp twice before speaking up, but he managed it. The Griffindors gave him assuring smiles and thumb-ups, while the Slytherins, hoping to see him collapse, swore and glowered. 

"You have answered my question correctly, for a change," sneered Snape. "Five points to Griffindor for sparing me your stuttering."

_It is not the best way to put it, but he had awarded Neville five points! Impossible! _Hermione couldn't help but cast one last glance at her potions professor, then turned to leave the dungeon with her classmates. She walked over to Neville, and muttered, "I'm sorry."

----------

Hermione sat on her own bed, stroking Crookshanks who was purring loudly, but her mind was at somewhere else. She shook her head (this had also became a habit, much to her dismay, because this proved her always trying to get something- _someone_- out of her mind) and thought determinedly, _mere meditation will not bring me anywhere, I need ACTION. _

_ "What action, you don't even know what your problem is, for crying out loud-" _A tiny irritating voice retorted at the back of her head.

_Then FIND out the problem, for Merlin's sake, Hermione! Find it, trace it, tackle it! It is just another project, another question at hand, I can handle it!_ Hermione sat up and kicked Crookshanks accidentally. He hissed angrily, and leaped off the bed, but Hermione didn't care. _A book, yes, a book. Books always have answers._ She thought for a moment, then called, "Parvati!"

"Yes?" Parvati inquired idly.

"I am wondering, if, er, you could lend me some romance novels," Hermione asked. She had to know what she was going through and what to do. She doubted that there would be anything useful in the library on this subject, so all she could think of was Parvati's novels. 

This got Parvati's attention. She lifted her eyes from her book, and gawked at Hermione, "What?"

"I asked can you lend me your novels," replied Hermione.

"Huh? Who?" Parvati asked stupidly, as if she couldn't quite make sense of Hermione's answer.

"Me, o 'course," answered Hermione, smiling sweetly.

"But- but why?"

"Because I'm bored. _When? Now _would be the perfect time, Parvati, if you don't mind." said Hermione, clearly losing her patience.

Parvati finally closed her mouth and threw away the book she was reading. She jumped off her bed, and pulled out an enormous carton, full of dusty novels, from under her bed. She pushed the carton arduously towards Hermione's bed. "Never- humph- never thought you'd read romance novels... I seem to recall you saying romance novels are... imprecise, impractical jestbooks?" 

Hermione stared down at the entire cartonful of books, and replied absent-mindedly, "One should never quote another and use it against her... Say, how many novels have you got here?"

"Never counted, ninety something?" Parvati replied proudly. "Well, enjoy, you can return them anytime you want, I have read them all already."

----------

Hermione was almost afraid when she flipped open the first novel, she didn't really want an answer suddenly. _What if it was what I am dreading? What if it was a crush again?_ She did had a crush before, but that didn't go well- she cringed at the painful memories- _and a crush on Snape? Ewww. I could live without that, thank you._

But when she started to enter and became absorbed in the world of romance, she found that it was actually quite fascinating, the way people interact with each other. She found herself enjoying the read, and when not doing homework, she would be in her bed reading. What she thought would be a suffering was now her means of relaxation. After dinner she would rush through her homework, not even bothering to do 'extra research', and made her way to her bed and lay there reading about Jon and Jennifer and Lisa and Lewis till way past midnight.

Another nice thing about romance novels was that they nearly all have happy-endings. _Welcome to the real world, where we just have to cope with the ironic fact that no one you like will EVER like you back. Tough, eh?_ Hermione relished the read so greatly, she didn't realize that she had taken refuge in the stories, evading her problems. Yes, she would still dream about Snape, and (rather embarrassedly) she admitted that she would sometimes fantasize herself and him in the stories. _And okay, so I do watch out for him, and do laugh a little too jovially when he is there,_ _but that's about it, nothing else._ She was neither a millionaire with pretty blue eyes, nor was she a lost princess. She also doubted the very possibility that she would kiss him feverishly on a surfing board, or that they would ever dance in the rain. She would definitely _not_ hug him in front of a gazillion people, and he would _never_ paint I LOVE YOU on his dungeon walls and propose. _So that settles, I DO NOT like Snape. _Hermione concluded, putting down her sixty-eighth book, not knowing in the very near future a lesson would bring this naive statement to tatters and turn her world upside down.

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A/N: THATZ A CLIFFHANGER, YEA!! I am writing a CLIFFHANGER!! Thatz so coooool! I LOVE CLIFFHANGERS. *jump up and down* 

Ahem, So what da ya think? Do you think I am doing it a lil bit too slow? Coz really I don't want to make them too OOC, so I am making this struggle thingie longer...but it'd still be OOC because if they're not out of character, or their right minds for that matter, they won't fall for each other!! So please be patient, I am going to the romantic parts soon!! Mwahahahaha...I experienced my first writer block in this chapter, sure I've got ideas but I didn't know how to put them down. I am suddenly painfully aware of my lack of vocabulary, and frankly I am not too satisfied with this chapter. Anyway, please please _please_ REVIEW no matter you like it or not!!!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do NOT own anything in HP's universe. Do not sue me, or I may bite you.

Author's Note: I AM SOOOOOO STOOOOPID. *Smack self with troll's club* I must apologize! Two days ago ff.net went haywire and said my story was 'not found'. I went paranoid, and in my frustration, worry and fear I did a pathetic attempt to restore the story. I uploaded the 4 chapters AGAIN. Ff.net didn't really uploaded them, but added my chapters number AND moved me to top of list coz it thought I have updated. Which I hadn't until NOW. I am so sorry and will apologize again to those who thought I had uploaded 4 chapters in one go. Please forgive my stupidity, which is just there. I AM JUST STOOPID!

Now, to my beloved reviewers:

**OliverWoodFan03:** Thank you, I am so delighted! I laughed a lot too reading other's Hermione/Severus fics coz it's usually very funny, this pairing just seems to trigger me.

**Kryptonite: **Hehe, sorry about the cliffhanger! I _do not_ like _reading _cliffhangers, but when I started to write...I totally understand why people keep writing them. Very funny thinking people's reactions reading one haha. Please don't hit me! *cowers* Glad you like the story!

**Lily of the Shadow: **I will try my best! Hope you like this chapter.

**tomzgurl77: **I too am a Hermione/Severus shipper! They rule!! YEAH!!! Ahem, hope you like this chapter as well!

**Geistesstorunghoffnungen: **Thank you for coming back! Am I _that _cruel?? Muahahahaha!! Anyway, you are the first one to say my story is funny. Thx!

**bLiX:** It's not just you, all those madly in love with Severus, like me, wants to have more from his PoV! I promise to do that more often, after Hermione's struggle. Glad you like the story!

**She-who-must-not-be-named: **Thank you! *hugs you*

**TeaRoses: **Thx! Glad that you think it is not too OOC. I will get on with Severus' PoV later, I promise!

Whew! 8 reviews a chapter! Does this mean that is the best chapter so far? I dunno... anywayz, on with the story!

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_Why am I doing this?_ Hermione questioned herself for the zillionth time. She was about thirty feet behind a particular black figure and they were walking down a not very crowded corridor. It was lunch break and students would normally gather together and gossip a bit, but naturally everyone avoided Snape who was now walking in his graceful, long strides, his black cloak swishing and billowing behind him.

Hermione didn't want to be spotted, but she didn't want to lose him either. She shifted her ever-heavier bag- stuffed with thick reference books- to her left shoulder, and tried her best to keep up with his pace. "What's the hurry, can't he just take a slow walk and enjoy an idle afternoon?" She complained to no one. Harry and Ron was nowhere to be seen._ Have I told them off again? Probably...but it could just be Quidditch... _Hermione tried to remember what happened but her effort was in vain. All she could remember was lunch... and then she was following Snape all over the castle. _Why am I following him? Why why why?!_

In the meantime Snape was in his usual foul mood. His eyes kept throwing daggers at the students, and to those who didn't get the clue, he sneaked up to them and snarled into their unsuspecting ears, ordering them to get out of his sight. _How can he be so nasty, those first-years were only chatting and certainly that won't bother him much? Hmmm, but maybe it does- he might not want them to remind him his... loneliness? He didn't have any friends, did he? He personally made sure that no one can stand him, honestly... _Hermione bit her lip thoughtfully, and the fact that she was actually thinking about him from a different angle troubled her. _Sigh...I really should have spent my lunch break in the library..._

She snapped back into reality, only to find herself in a deserted corridor and just in time to see the last hem of Snape's cloak vanished behind a corner. Her legs followed instinctively though her mind kept telling her to go back. She turned around the corner and bumped headfirst into an extremely hard wall. "OWWW!" Her eyes watered and her head reeled from the impact. She rubbed the tip of her nose, which was reddening fast.

"Granger. What a pleasant meeting," a not-so-pleasant voice came from above. Hermione stood dazed, evidently what she had bumped into was not a wall, but rather, Snape. She wasn't sure which was worse.

"Good afternoon Professor," she managed, still rubbing her sore nose.

"It would be better if you're not stalking me," sneered Snape, glaring down at the auburn-haired girl.

"I am NOT stalking you sir!" Hermione said shrilly, her face turning into a brilliant shade of pink. _Not only had my legs acted on their own will but I had to be caught. Oh God my life is SO over._

"Oh is that it? I personally consider anyone trailing me silently all over the grounds for approximately an hour _stalking_," said Snape cynically. "I have enough stupid little fantasizing stalkers to last a lifetime without _you_ joining, Miss Granger."

Hermione blushed even deeper, her head so low that her chin touched her robes. _Self-conscious, arrogant, insufferably conceited git,_ she thought, searching deep down her soul for dismal, fury, frustration, disdainfulness- she found none. Anxiousness, yes, and plenty of embarrassment, but she could not bring herself to rage. This puzzled her, but she knew this was not a convenient time to ponder. "I really didn't stalk you professor, I was just, well, here-"

"This corridor only leads to a boys' bathroom and my private rooms." Snape interrupted, twitching the corner of his mouth, "I sincerely hope that your destination's not the former... then you are going to my room, I presume?"

Hermione didn't know what to say to that, so she stared at her own feet and suddenly she caught sight of her Muggle Powerpuff-girls watch. "Oh my goodness I am late for Defense Against the Dark Arts!" She grabbed her bag and sprinted down the other way, forgetting to bid her Potions Master goodbye.

Snape watched pensively as the scarlet shape diminished at the other end of the long hallway, before sweeping into his room.

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"Where have you been?" Demanded Ron as Hermione reached the DADA classroom panting and sweating. "You weren't in the Library!"

Hermione gasped and tried in vain to catch her breath. She reached into her robes and dug out a bottle. After swallowing two blue pellets, she looked much better and color was slowly coming back to her whitened lips.

"What is that?" Ron asked, alarmed.

"Same old, same old," Hermione waved a dismissive hand, "Just asthma pills, nothing serious-"

"You never told me you have asthma-"

"I have, as a matter of fact," said Hermione flatly, sitting down. "Come on sit over... oh don't worry Ron, I'll be fine as long as I don't sprint like I just did and my trachea is not exposed to cold winds..." 

She was interrupted by Professor Moody- the _real_ Moody, he had taken the DADA job only after Dumbledore's reassurance that he'd be perfectly safe in Hogwarts- who entered at that moment. He looked glum as usual, and motioned the class to quiet before starting his lecture croakily.

"Today you would learn and be put under a new spell," his magical eye wobbled slightly, "this one was not an Unforgivable, but it was nearly as bad if used by Dark Wizards- The Ministry would have banned it if not for its medical uses- the Exorcising Curse, also known as the Soul-drawal Ritual, would kill the subject in a long but painless way. It was not that popular amongst the Death Eaters nowadays, as it would not bring any kind of pain to the subject, and could be resisted and reversed if the subject had a strong mind... but still when one was put under the Exorcising Curse his physical body could be weak and unattended for up to twelve hours- depending on the caster's power- and could be used for numerous wicked purposes.

"Now I would like to put you under the Exorcising Curse- don't worry Mr. Longbottom, this one's modified, instead of dying the worst you would is faint. Remember to clear your minds, and focus on what is important-_ SPIRITSO EXORCICUS_!" 

Hermione barely had time to complain that they were not yet prepared, when a blanket of heavy dark fog consumed her and her classmates. She was forced to close her eyes shut as the fog seemed to be accompanied by sleet- she could feel herself twirling uncontrollably against a strong force, as if she was in a large barrel rolling down an endless slope- her mind jumbled and for a moment (no one could be sure how long, but it sure felt like _ages_ to Hermione) she didn't know where she was, or anything else for that matter.

As suddenly as the tumbling had happened, it stopped. Hermione shook her head, and got to her feet. Only that she didn't feel like she had feet, and there was no ground to stand on anyway. She felt like floating. She opened her eyes and blinked. Nothing. All she could see was a darkness too dark to describe, which seemed to stretch on and on and on...she had a sudden thought that she maybe in outer space, only there were no stars. 

"Harry! Ron! ANYONE!" she tried to shout, but no sound came out of her throat. She tried again, and could feel her eyes getting hot as still nothing came. It was nothing like she had experienced- not even in first year when she went down the trapdoor with Harry and Ron, at least they were there- now she was alone, floating, in this totally mysterious place. She put a hand- assuming she still had a hand- in front of her face and waved frantically, but nothing moved. _It could be the dense mist, or it could be that I have no hand. _She'd rather believe in the former. She could feel the urge to cry again, but suppressed it with all the might she could muster. _I'm not a crying baby, crying won't get me anywhere!_ but the thick cloud seemed to be discouraging, making her more depressed and despaired byminute..._Much like being close to a Dementor..._

All of a sudden she could notice something small shining ahead. It was indeed a very tiny light, but it was light nonetheless. Hermione stared at it for a second, then ran- floated- in full pace. That was her only hope, and as she drew nearer to the light, she could feel the nightmarish mist thinning, and there was now joy filling in her chest. The beam of light grew steadily brighter, and she willed her body to move faster, faster, FASTER! There in the light would be bliss, she knew. She could hear someone calling her from the light, welcoming, warm voices... one of them was very familiar, one that would still appear in her dreams- the voice was Cedric Diggory's. She paused for a moment, looking up, and saw Cedric waving and gesturing her to go to him. There was something very important about Cedric, but she couldn't quite remember what- so she just bit her lip and moved on.

However, someone was tugging her, she couldn't float any further. She turned around in frustration, and saw silhouettes moving. She could make out her parents, Harry, Ron and the Weasleys, and some of her professors, but only barely. Her father was pulling her elbow, and her mother had tears streaming down her cheeks. Ron was looking away, but Harry was looking at her, begging silently. The professors were all looking grim. She couldn't understand any of this, couldn't they see that hope is just a few steps away? Why aren't they letting her go? Her father was tugging her tighter, but she struggled. The darkness behind them was beyond scary. There was a voice now urging her quietly, "Move on, move on, don't stay..." 

She couldn't bear seeing her mother crying like that, but she _had_ to go. _I just HAD to. I don't have a choice. No one can make me go back there._ She shook off her father's grip, and prepared to turn away from those she cared, from their sad expressions that seemed to tear her heart apart. Then someone else emerged from behind the group.

Professor Severus Snape.

He walked slowly towards Hermione, and stood before her. His face was paler than usual, and his eyes had lost their menace. He bent down until their faces were barely an inch apart, and she could feel his breath brushing her nose. Hermione looked into his eyes, there were something blue swirling in the black pools, sorrow he couldn't show. His face was expressionless until a small frown creased it. Hermione would give anything to soothe it, but her hand was too heavy to lift up and touch him. She stifled a sob.

He looked like he wanted to hug her, or at least comfort her, but he remained motionless and stared into her eyes. Hermione felt the voice urging again, "Leave. Don't return. Leave." Snape looked like he heard the voice too, because he opened his mouth, then closed it. He opened it again, and Hermione looked at him questioningly, surely he would want to say goodbye...

"Please," his voice broke. There was an almost unnoticeable hint of plead in it. Hermione closed her eyes. That did the trick. She placed her hands into his and suddenly she was sucked back into the mad tornado.

----------

"Ah! So someone had succeeded," said a dry voice, sounding satisfied. Hermione jerked her eyes open, but closed them again immediately because the classroom was so bright it hurt her eyes. She cautiously opened them again, feeling them slowly adjusting to the light. Memories were rushing back, she could remember the DADA lesson, and scolded herself mentally for forgetting about the Exorcising Curse during her trance. She felt very stupid at being scared and nervous, it was just a plain experiment, after all.

She glanced around the classroom, and found that many students had fainted, Harry being one of them, some were coming around with Moody's help. To her surprise, Neville and Ron were amongst the few who hadn't faint. In fact, they were the only three who hadn't. They were very white though, and sweat were rolling down their necks. She touched her face. It was wet, but she wasn't sure was it tears remembering the- _vision_.

The vision. Again she saw Snape. _He seemed to have an annoying tendency to intrude my mind, _thought Hermione, who then brushed the thought ruthlessly aside, while giving out chocolates to her classmates. When everyone had settled down once more, Moody looked at them all.

"Well," he began in the same dry voice," I believe that everyone of you is revived. How do you like the Exorcising Curse?" He cracked a grin seeing their sullen expressions. "You need to _know_. I don't want to put it on you as much as you wanted to experience it again. The Curse is used originally designed to usher lingering spirits to the Beyond, and to cast possessing spirits from their hosts... but now it was also used in medical-magic fields, to help patients with fatal diseases to move to death peacefully. Now these need to be copied down," while the class searched for their inkbottles and parchments, Hermione, who had already been copying, bit on the tip of her quill, and put up a hand.

"Yes, Miss Granger?" Moody acknowledged her hand with a nod.

"I, I wonder-" she inhaled deeply before continuing," I wonder what does the light meant, and I've heard a voice-"

"Ah, that, yes," Moody grinned again, "that's a fair question. The light is where spirits go, the Beyond- but of course in our case it was merely a projection which when you approach you will faint. With the real Curse your spirit would have no return once you have reached the light. The voice, and the spirits I believed you would see in the light, acted like the Imperius Curse to coax spirits from leaving the physical body. Those in the dark were people you cared deeply, they were projections of your mind attempting to stop the spirit from leaving. Only truly strong-mined people would have succeeded resisting the Curse," he looked at the Hermione, Neville and Ron proudly, and at that moment, the bell rang. Hermione couldn't be more grateful. She packed her things and swung her bag onto her shoulder swiftly.

"My whole family glared at me when I said I must go to the light," said Neville, pink-faced from all the talk, he was not usually the one who had something to share. "Gran looked like she would smack me silly if I don't stay, so..."

"Well, I do want to go, but Mom's squeezing me too tight," said Ron, jumping in front of Harry, who was walking with his head down. "Come on, Harry! Everyone else fainted!"

"I saw Mom and Dad, and they asked me to join them, and I did without second thought..." Harry murmured.

"Honestly Harry, one may think you'd be sick if you don't think yourself as 'weak' for a moment!" Ron exclaimed exasperatedly. "Hermione, say something..."

But Hermione was only half listening and didn't answer. Her mind was buzzing and she hardly noticed where she was heading or what was she suppose to do. The troubled expression was back on Ron's face, who impatiently poked her. 

"I- I have no class anymore. See you guys at dinner." She said in a would-be calm voice and walked away before any of them could react.

----------

Hermione stepped into the deserted dormitory. It was three in the afternoon, the sun shining merrily into the room, making the dust dancing in the air visible. Lavender and Parvati were in Divination, and Ginny was nowhere to be seen. She flung her bag under the bed with a 'thud', then herself onto the welcoming, comfy mattress. It had been a long lesson. Crookshanks hopped onto her and curled into a gigantic ginger hairball. His fur tickled Hermione's nose, and she let out a quickly-stifled giggle. Sighing, she brushed Crookshanks off and sat up once more. 

Reaching into her trunk's bottom, she searched for something she hadn't taken out for a very long time but was sure it was there. Eventually she yanked a very dusty copy of _Break with a Banshee _autographed by Lockhart out from beneath her robes. Ron and Harry, or anyone, won't touch anything with Lockhart's signature. She placed the thick book onto her lap, stared at it for a long moment, then touched it. The worn leather cover still felt the same under her hand- rough and coarse. She closed her eyes savoring the feeling, and when she opened them again, determination could be seen.

"_Reveallos,_" She muttered, touching the cover with her wand, "_Moggy Crookshanks._" 

Upon the correct password, the book gave a small shake, then with a 'pop' it morphed into a thinner diary. On the cover was a crude sketch of Crookshanks. Hermione fingered the pages and shuddered unconsciously. Skimming to a particular page, she let herself lay on her belly and started reading.

----------

**20th July**

Oh my God. Will write this again. OH MY GOD.

This morning woke up really early, because can't Apparate yet. Ron was really grumpy. I was too tired to complain. That's before we had to walk up Stoatshead Hill. At 6 in the morning. Thought self was going to have an asthma attack, the air was so harsh when breathed in. Luckily we got to the top just fine.

We are going to the Quidditch World Cup, am not that interested, honestly, but Mom said it would be not nice to turn down such a warm invitation. Mom didn't say we need to walk a thousand miles at 6 though, don't think that is _warm_. But still it'd be interesting to see how so many wizards can work and coordinate and organize such an international function. Yes, there'd be plenty to see and learn.

We used a portkey to travel, which is an unimpressive looking boot. This is not important. What is important is that, out of all people that I could have met with my freaky frizzle hair beating my face and my hands trying desperately to clutch my flying robes, I have to meet _him_.

Yeah.

If there really is fate, I hate it with all my heart at that moment.

He got there with his father. Didn't pay attention to his father, thought he was babbling about Harry's defeat last year. Anyway, there he was, totally gorgeous as though the sharp wind around us was nothing. Tried not to be like Ginny and blush, but then in that light who would notice? So blushed anyway. And then we shared the portkey. Shared, as in leaning real close together. Hmmm.

The site was incredible. Hundreds of thousands of our kind. Our tent was okay, too. Spent the day teaching Mr. Weasley light matches. The whole camp thing was cool, except that didn't get to see him again.

By the way, Ireland won.

**23rd October**

Stupid Ron. 

Been bickering with him. Again. Today he said something about Cedric as an idiot. Couldn't help but jumped into protective mode immediately. But well am speaking the truth! He _is_ a good student and he _is_ a prefect. And it is beyond doubt that I don't like people just because they're handsome. 

Of course he is handsome, but that's not the point.

Worried. If Ron ever find out... shudder to think what would happen. And there is the problem that Cedric would probably never know me more than Harry's best friend. He did smiled to me this morning though. And a 'hello', but that's all. 

**31st October**

He was chosen.

That's right. I knew he would be chosen. I mean, look at it. He was seventeen, a seeker, a prefect _and_ a top student. Plus the fact that he was handsome. I clapped and clapped. Now hands are all red and hurt when I write, so I better make this short. I applauded and looked over, he was- no surprise here, just some bitterness- not looking at me. He was wearing a big flashy smile that every Hufflepuff witch would have melt there. I wish _I_ could melt too, but then his smile was not directed at us Griffindors. He was naturally not one to boast, so he didn't even turn to look smugly at us, which a Slytherin surely would.

Harry was chosen too, no one knows how that happen, but I don't believe Harry entered himself. Well, not to sound arrogant, but even I can't fool Dumbledore's Age Line. Not that I haven't tried, but will _never_ tell anyone. Not even him. If he ever bother to ask. Or talk to me.

Anyway, Harry was not yet back. The common room was crowded with excited students, Ron was not in sight. Am so tired and worried. Someone had died in the Tournament before! What if Harry, or worse, him- was injured or something? 

**24th November**

Tired, tired, tired beyond imagination. Been practicing _Accio_ with Harry all night. It was such a simple charm, but I guess he had his mind on something else, so he wasn't to be blamed for not paying attention. The first task is dragons. And of course Ron is still not talking to him. Stupid boys.

Managed to walk to the stands with Ron and Ginny. Although I knew 'bout the dragons beforehand, it didn't make them less scary. Ron looked very sick. Ginny was covering her eyes. I, well, I nearly got a heart attack.

He was the first to tackle the beast. A Swedish Short-Snout according to Mr. Bagman. He tried to transfigure a stone into a dog to attract the beast. It was some transfiguration, but the beast soon lost interest and _swish_- for a beast so large it sure can move- and the flames! I nearly fainted, as I could almost feel the heat from the flame searing my chest. Luckily the pellets were with me. And I didn't really cry or scream.

Harry got past his dragon ok, am very satisfied with his _Accio_. Think I could make a good professor someday.

Ron is talking to Harry again. I sort of cried. I guess it's because the tension was over and I could see he was okay, only with some orange paste on his face.

**12th December**

Honestly! Who does that Krum think he is? I don't give a- sorry- damn that he is a famous seeker! So what if he is famous? Harry is famous. I bet I will be famous one day.

He just came over today, when I was obviously engrossed in my S.P.E.W. stuff and did _not_ want to be disturbed, and asked me to the dance! Said something like he'd never seen a girl like me before. HA! That's because there aren't many freaky bookworms in Bulgaria, smash-head.

I think maybe if I ask nicely, he may actually bring me to the Yule Ball, cause it doesn't seem like he had a girlfriend or something.

**15th December**

Really I don't want to smudge the pages, it is just the tears! They won't stop. I wonder if there is a potion or a charm that can freeze tears. Or dry your eyes forever.

I heard Cho and her big-mouthed friends in the Library today. Seems like he had asked Cho to go to the Ball and she was thinking whether or not to go. _Thinking_. Not _jumping at the chance_.

I think I am dying. It's possible that I will just lay here and rot. Some house-elves would come and dispose me. That's the way they treat someone trying to get them paid and day-offs.

**17th December**

Confirmed by Harry, who happened to ask Cho as partner. Boys are so blind. Can't they see what's inside is important, not looks?

Only Cho was pretty _and_ intelligent. Right.

Accepted Krum's offer, who said he wouldn't attend the ball if I don't go with him. Therefore I accepted. I am _not _trying to get _anyone's_ attention by being Krum's date.

I wonder if I ask Snape would he be a merciful almsgiver for a change and grant me some dreamless sleep potion. I can't continue dreaming about him and screaming at 3.

**25th December**

Ha, ha, ha. The only thing merry about this Christmas is the beautiful robes Mum and Dad sent me, and the funny goggling looks of Harry and Ron, they didn't recognize me! That was extremely hilarious.

Started the ball with Victor. He was an ok guy once you got to know him. But I was distracted, see, Cedric was not even looking at me. Cho was stunning, though I think we looked _equally_ good tonight. But I don't think she spent every waking second in the past week thinking about how to straighten her hair. She probably just changed into any robes she laid her fingers on and looked beautiful in it.

I have to be the most pathetic witch Hogwarts ever admitted.

**22nd January**

Caught him kissing her outside greenhouse 4. Was too shocked/ heartbroken to write.

**31st January**

He smiled at me today! Yay! And Cho was not there. The best thing that had happen to me in _weeks_. Harry seemed distracted again, and Ron was, well, being Ron, he wouldn't notice if my hands were gone. I tried to return it, but my face couldn't twitch the way I wanted it to. Bugger.

When I looked at his back as he left, I could feel again that horrible empty feeling in my abdomen. Like someone is drilling a hole in there. I clutched my fists forcing back the tears. This is insane. I don't cry. If only I had never have a crush on him. I know it from the very beginning that I don't stand a chance, but still I plunged headfirst in. I am so stupid.

Ron just came over and asked am I ok, and gave me a chocolate frog. He can be so sweet sometimes. How I hope the one I'm in loved with is him.

**25th February**

Last night was too tired to write. Plus I had to wash. The water down there sure is dirty. And have water beetles._ Ick._

Victor considered me as 'the one'... frankly I was flattered, didn't know how to react! I can't just say 'thank you' can I? But Cho was there too. She was his one of course, I would have known, but does that help? Does the fact that she would be the one most precious to him, though not unexpected, soothe the wound he had burnt unto me deeper than never?

No. It didn't. Not a bit.

I didn't cry this time, my mind seems to think more crying is not profitable to self's spiritual state, and wouldn't let me bring self to tears again. I merely sobbed for a few seconds, then the memory was safely sealed into the bottom of mind. Didn't have nightmares last night, that's an improvement. 

Should never, ever have loved him. Our life lines are like parallel, and would never meet and entwine. Maybe I should just accept Victor. 

**6th March**

Rita Skeeter had just written something on Witch Weekly about me toying Harry and Victor. Very funny at first, but I saw him reading it in lunch break. Oh Merlin. The least I need is him reading something that Skeeter scum wrote. Especially not about me being a 'Scarlet woman'. Hmph. Witch Weekly's for _witches_. He had no right to read it.

**27th May**

EXAMS DRAWING NEAR. No time to write, but he said 'hey' to me. Got to write it down.

**22nd June**

Yes! Correctly predicted the Charms exam, that was easy enough. Need to help Harry with the hexes and STUDY HISTORY OF MAGIC. He was in the library with her today. It was causing less pain now seeing them together, just that sick nausea. Note to self: Never, ever fall in love with impossible candidates. Think before falling in love. STUDY GOBLIN'S NAMES.

**27th June**

It's alright. I have gotten over it. I am not _that_ upset anymore. I can eat today. Still wanted to puke but I forced the food down, can't let Ron notice anything, he had enough to worry like Harry's present fragile mood, we had to be cheerful so he wouldn't think about what had happened.

_I_ had to be cheerful so that _I_ won't remember it. _I_ have to stand._ I_ can't break down, not when Harry needs me, he is more vulnerable. Who am I to cry or weep? I hadn't seen anything. No death, no torture, and I hadn't seen his body. No. I merely heard murmurs and hushed whispers about his death- I would have given up my soul to prove those wrong right then. My heart stopped, literally, because a wave of darkness swept over me. But I couldn't collapse. Ron was with me. Breathing was shallow and could feel at that minute God had taken away the oxygen in the air cause no matter how hard I tried nothing could fill the pressing, burning need of my lungs. 

He _can't_ be dead. I am dreaming. I have been in this nightmare for _way_ too long and it's about time to wake up. When I put down the quill and walk downstairs I would see him smiling at me, maybe with Cho. I don't care. No way he was dead. Without saying Goodbye, or knowing how I felt about him all along. This isn't right. That can't be the last time I see him in the library. 

He can't be dead. He just can't be. I forbid him to die. He is not dying without knowing that apart from Cho there was someone else watching him turn every corner, someone else sitting up whenever he enters the Great Hall... 

**1st July**

Cedric Diggory was dead.

I would never take more pellets than I should have, because Ron is likely to find out and unless I take more than 500 I am not going to die. I _swear_ that I would think thrice before falling in love (if I do fall in love ever again, very unlikely) and never with an impossible guy. I-

----------

Hermione couldn't read further, tears were streaking down, making her face shone in the dusk orange sun rays. Crookshanks placed a comforting hairy paw on her hand. She looked into those almost sentient brown eyes and saw her own reflection. She had been cringing and cowering in a vulnerable manner, no one seeing her now would recognize her as the strong, powerful know-it-all. 

She hadn't write in the diary since Cedric's death, nor had she ever mentioned this little crush to anyone else except Lavender and Ginny. It was understandable, cause the memories that were flooding back were not considered as pleasant, and she had spent the entire summer vacation trying to forget it. Apparently one can't _obliviate_ oneself.

She pulled the hanging curtains close, and placed a Silencing Charm onto the bed so that anyone approaching could only hear a peaceful snore. Her hands trembled as she tried to place the charm. She then hugged Crookshanks closer to herself and laid as the pillow beneath was gradually soaked with her quiet tears. Embracing Crookshanks tighter, she closed her eyes.

_Those in the dark were people you cared deeply, they were projections of your mind attempting to stop the spirit from leaving._

She sobbed herself to sleep.

----------

A/N: I know, I know this chapter is not very good. *Sigh* I wrote this mostly in past midnight coz my muse seems to wake up only at those unmanly hours. This chapter is longggggg! I just wanted to upload a longer chapter coz I won't update in a week's time. I'd be reading JK's new book of coz! I know everyone here would! But please still take time to review, I seems to have developed a funny habit of collecting reviews( who haven't anyway), so the more the better! Flames will also be welcomed, these will be collected to toast and roast my ever-nerve-grinding brother, who just won't shut up and I can't write unless in complete silence. Enough babbling! Please review!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: The chance of me owning all this except the plot is smaller than the chance I'd let Voldemort kiss me.

A/N: *waves* Hullo all I AM BACK! I _missed _ my computer and ya all! I've updated finally *claps* and to all my reviewers (esp. those who came back and reviewed _again_), I can't thank you enough! You are most generous! And a special thanks to **worf**, who pointed out a mistake in my A/N. It wasn't what I meant, by 'JK's new book there were really not much told about Hermione's or Severus's life' I meant their life in Harry's_ fifth year_. The book didn't exactly told us much about what Hermy and Sevvie did in their spare time, so I thought I could take advantage and exploit a bit... English is not my first language and if I had write something that misled you guys please point out to me and don't hit me *cowers*!! 

**Lily of the shadow:** Thank you, hope this long chapter makes up for not updating quicker!

**reading: **Please refer to previous A/N... ff.net thought I'd four more chapters than I really do.

**RattleSnake:** Thank you, and yes, I was shocked by OOtP too, we all were! Hope you get over it soon! :)

**Mary :) :** Thanks, please keep on reading and reviewing!

**bLix: **Yay! You come back again! And I did have fun during my trip, thankies!

**Ezmerelda: **You're welcome, I should be the one saying thank you! *smile*

**evilbon32: **I am flattened!! Fav author!! *jumps up and down* Thank you! Hope you like this chapter as well!

**Gwendellen Snape: **Thanks, please continue reading!

**worf: ** Once again, thank you! Yeah I had read the book and was happy JK put some more about Sevvie in the book.

**OliverWoodFan03: **Yay, thank you for coming back! Glad you like it, and oh, Hermy/Sevvie is a weird ship but they rock, hahaha!

**Hermy:** *in tears* Thanks for putting me in your favorites! And yeah, who cares about age differences anymore! I mean, I myself is in love with this guy 13 years older than me *drags Oliver into scene* See! He is 30 last month!

**Metallicafangirl: **Unfortunately if I kick Dean away Lavender may kill me *cowers under Lavender's death-glare*! Btw, your story rocks!

**She-who-must-not-be-named: **You're back!! You got me worried for a while there! Anywayz. Umbridge _is_ evil! My new favorite stories all contain death scenes of her! Mwahahahahahaha *evil laugh*

**kat-tak: **Thanks!

And the song I inserted is "I'm Not Strong Enough To Say No" of Blackhawk. My first attempt of a song-chapter, I think it sucks. NEways, you can email me for the song. On with the story!

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_The sign says "do not touch" - you're out of bounds_

_You're forbidden fruit, don't come around_

_It says don't make plans 'cause on your hand_

_Is a promise made to another man_

A disturbingly bright ray of sun shone across the room, seeping through the closing curtains and onto a small curled up form in the four-poster.

Hermione felt the warmth on her face, she fluttered her eyelashes and waved her hand weakly, as if to brush away the annoying light.

"Hermione, Hermione..." a faraway voice called.

She moaned, and buried her face into the pillow. "Hermione, Hermione..." the voice was very persistent, and getting louder by the minute. She could hear hurried footsteps, and someone bursting into the room. She moaned again.

Lavender grasped the curtains and pulled hard, shouting, "There you are!"

Hermione could feel herself bathed in the sun she was trying so hard to get away from. She moaned for the third time that morning while Lavender pulled away her warm comfy quilt.

"Wass the metter?" She gibbered, turning away from the pillow a bit reluctantly to face Lavender. There was no way to sleep anymore if Lavender was determined to get you out of bed.

"Merlin's beard!" Lavender exclaimed when she saw Hermione, "What happened?" She sat down, forgetting all about waking Hermione.

"Huh?" Hermione said groggily.

"Your eyes! They are all red and puffy," Lavender observed her closely, "You've been crying. Again. You've been thinking about him. Again." It was a statement.

Hermione sat up feeling awake finally, and looked at Lavender. There was no use denying, the other girl was strangely good at reading people. _Maybe she was really a seer. _She smiled faintly at the thought.

"But there was something else..." Lavender continued, looking straight into her eyes. Hermione averted her gaze awkwardly, she hadn't prepare to tell Lavender about her latest discovery- her latest crush- yet, let alone in the morning. "Nonsense. Of course I was thinking about Ced only. Why else would I cry?" She managed, pretending to be absorbed in stroking Crookshanks, who purred accusingly, then pounced away.

"That is exactly what you are going to tell me, _now_." Lavender said sternly, still scrutinizing her. Seeing Hermione's defiant face, she softened a bit, "Listen Herm, I know you are troubled, we all know. Even Crookshanks know. And we are all worried. If you let it out you'd feel much better." She pat her hand lightly, "I don't want you to try _that_ again. You scared me to death last time, swallowing pills, honestly!"

Hermione smiled and felt something warm passed through her whole body. She could feel her eyes reddening. "I am- " she was about to say okay but suddenly she found that she need to tell someone, blurt it all out to someone. Taking a deep breath, she said shakily, "You- you promised not to tell another soul?"

Lavender nodded solemnly. So, Hermione started her tale, "It all started with this stupid dream..."

----------

_'cause when you're around my defenses go down_

_Feelings get stronger, looks get longer_

_The closer you come, the weaker i get_

_If it ain't happened now, just ain't happened yet_

"-and so I came up here after DADA. I started reading my diary, and discovered that I had repeated myself again..." Hermione trailed off miserably.

"I see." Lavender didn't laugh, to Hermione's relief. "So you had this crush on- gosh- Snape, and you know you can't, so you cried?" Hermione nodded, a little surprised by her friend's incredulous tone.

"Silly, there's nothing wrong about liking someone, even if that's Snape." Lavender suppressed a smile, "He is just another guy, like Harry, like Ron, like Cedric. It's perfectly fine to like him!"

"I am not even sure if I really liked him or not-"

"Of course you are! Why else would you dream about him?"

"I don't fall in love because of dreams!" Hermione exclaimed shrilly, "If I am that kind of girl I wouldn't drop Divination."

"I still insist that is your greatest mistake ever," Lavender replied, "But that's not the point. So maybe you didn't like Snape because of the dream, but it certainly made you notice him. You know, when you started to think about a guy like that you _will_ develop something eventually."

"So that's my mistake? It is myself to blame that I liked someone when I shouldn't, is it?" Hermione shouted, a big tear sliding down her cheek. "You didn't know how this feels! If I had any control I wouldn't like him, ever! I can like Ron, or even Harry! I feel so vulnerable and powerless, you know? I wish-" She couldn't continue. Hiding her face in her hands, she sobbed hard.

There was a long silence mixed only with Hermione's broken sobs. Lavender looked at her friend, the last time she cried this hard was when Cedric died. Finally she said consolingly, albeit a bit shakily, "It is not a mistake liking someone. No one will blame you. And I know exactly how you feel, Herm."

This stopped her crying, and Hermione looked up at Lavender, confused. 

"Well, I fell in love with Professor Lupin before..." Lavender blushed, "I meant to tell you but... oh well, sorry. At least he is _nice_. I don't suppose it was as bad."

Hermione smiled with tears still streaking her face. "I never know! And yes, I suppose it was not as bad." She chuckled softly. "And I thought loving Cedric was wrong! This just proves life can always be worse."

The girls sat on the bed giggling for a minute. Then Lavender asked, "So what do you do now?"

"Huh?" Hermione asked the second time in the morning, feeling very stupid.

"Haven't you learn a thing from all those romance novels?" Lavender rolled her eyes. "I mean, aren't you going to tell him?"

"WHAT?" Hermione cried. "I am _never _ telling him! I mean, I didn't tell Cedric anything-"

"And look how well that turned out," Lavender interrupted sarcastically, "Hermione, if you don't tell him how you feel how will he know?"

"What about 'I don't want him to know, ever'?" Hermione said, terrified. "How can I ever show my face if he rejected me? And we both know the chance of him liking me back is like, smaller than the chance of You-know-who turning himself in and repent!"

"Look, Hermione," Lavender cooed soothingly like to a toddler, "You would regret later, like you regretted that you didn't tell Cedric. And you had to be true to yourself. The fact now lies before you, Herm, you know it. Lying would not make you feel better. Facing it would."

"But, but-" Hermione stuttered and felt the urge to sob again. "How would I face him, how could I? And what about Harry and Ron? They loathe him! And not to sound vixenish, you know how Ron feels about me..."

"It's okay Herm." Lavender pulled the other girl closer, glancing at her face. "There's no need to cry. It's Ron's problem that he liked you, not yours, it is not your fault, or your responsibility, or your anything. And since when do you care about what others think? You are a Griffindor for crying out loud! Be brave Hermione, there's nothing wrong about loving. It never is, and never will be."

"Yeah," Hermione agreed, feeling a large lump in her throat. "I just don't want to break his heart. I know how that feels."

They sat quietly for a while. "You know, this kind of crush would mostly fade away-" Lavender said. 

"Yeah, either that or it would deepen so you can't live without him anymore," Hermione grumbled under her breath.

"-it wouldn't hurt to act for once, right?" continued Lavender, who didn't hear her. "I mean, when I look back I see that my feelings to Lupin was so shallow it can't really be called 'love', but I told him then and I have no regret. And by 'telling' I don't mean you shout in his face that you like him- though that's practically what _I _ did- you can try the subtle way-" 

She stopped when she saw Hermione's expression, like she was horrified by the idea of doing anything to Snape, subtly or not. Lavender frowned, "Now, this is not the attitude. Look at me."

Hermione looked into her eyes, though a little uneasily. She used to think Lavender as a giggling sort of sissy girl until fourth year, now she was sometimes afraid of her. Not only because she was taller and older than her, but also because she could somehow read her mind. She also had a kind of rashness and courage that must be the reason why she was in Griffindor. She often had the impression that Lavender was a young McGonagall, especially when she went all stern and interrogative, like now.

"Hermione Granger, I had spent enough time telling you to face your feelings and I am getting tired, and we aren't getting anywhere if you keep on hiding with your head in the sand. You should be ashamed if you call yourself Griffindor. Now, make the decision- whether you want to go on liking him, or you want to put him outta your mind- then act it." Lavender said forcefully.

Hermione lowered her eyes, _put him outta my mind. As if I haven't tried. _But something Lavender said touched her heart. _She had a point, she always do._

Lavender was thrilled to find the determination and recognition in Hermione's eyes when she looked up again. Her face was no longer ashen, but was lit up once more. Lavender was so happy she bent over and hugged her. "That's my girl!"

Hermione blushed lightly, "I haven't say anything yet. But yeah, I think I will try...acting. I know that's what I want, and I will try to get it. It's my life, afterall. You're right, I am not letting anyone- not even Ron- to decide it for me."

"Well, I was hoping to decide it for you with my tarot cards," Lavender joked, pretending to be deeply disappointed. "Oh my, look at the time!"

Hermione did, and gave a shriek. It was already a quarter to ten. "My God! Fifteen minutes before the next lesson!"

"Yeah, I was coming up to wake you when you didn't show in Charms." Lavender said, "I thought you were sick, you seldom skip class. The next lesson should be Potions."

"Damn," Hermione groaned, "Can I skip it as well?"

"No," Lavender said strictly, pulling her up, "You skipped enough classes for one day. And you just promised not to run away anymore. I will get to the dungeons now. I expect to see you washed and cleaned fifteen minutes later." With this she turned and headed towards the door.

"Lav," Hermione called. Lavender stopped and looked at her quizzically. "Thank you. For everything." 

Lavender smiled, then exited.

Hermione looked at the closed door, and a fat tear rolled down her smiling face.

---------- 

_So please, please, please go_

_I'm not strong enough to say no_

_Please, please don't stay_

_I'm not man enough to walk away_

Hermione brushed her frizzy, uncompromising hair frantically, but it wouldn't straighten. She gave a mental scream and admitting defeat, she threw away the comb. She looked at herself in the mirror (which said embracingly, "It's okay dear, you look great") and washed her face again. There was no charm that she know would get rid of the red swollen marks around her eyes. She sighed, grasped her bag, and hurried down to the dungeons.

Arriving at the ancient wooden door, she suddenly hesitated. _ There is no backing down now, Lav would kill me if I skip Potions. Moreover, even I couldn't stand myself running away like a coward. _She took a deep breath, tugged her hair and robes one last time, then pushed open the heavy door leading into the dungeons.

---------

_Please, please pass by_

_I can't resist you even though i try_

_So please go, I'm not strong to say no_

_So please go, I'm not strong to say no_

Severus snapped his head up when he heard the door creaked. He saw Hermione slipping into the dungeons, obviously not wanted to be spotted. He also noted her eyes were very red and swollen, _like she had been crying. _He smirked. _I don't care if she had been crying or not, as long as she is not bothering me._

_ Unfortunately, walking in late bothers me. Greatly. _He glanced coldly at the girl who was moving through the aisles to her friends. Once she sat down Harry and Ron bent over, no doubt asking where had she been and what was the problem. He scowled when that Weasley flung an arm around her shoulder. Hermione blushed, and fended his arm off a second later, looking back at Lavender for help.

"That's quite enough, Miss Granger, you are late, and you caused a disturbance in my class," he snarled in his usual cold tone, "Twenty points from Griffindor."

Hermione looked down, and started to pull out her books and parchments. But he was not done yet. 

"And I see that you've... let your emotions out a bit. I wouldn't have expect that from a _brave Griffindor._" He curled his lips, not able to resist the temptation of insulting a Griffindor. The Slytherins sniggered. 

Ron shot up at this, shouting, "You terrible inconsiderate git, can't you see she is upset enough? You-"

"Sit down Ron!" Harry pulled Ron's robes, attempting to pull the taller boy back to his seat. "He's provoking you, can't you see?"

"Provoking, am I? I am merely stating the surprising fact that a Griffindor know-it-all cried, does that count as provoking?" Snape drawled. "Fifty points from Griffindor Weasley for not controlling your temper, and calling me names."

Ron opened his mouth when Hermione, who had been quiet the whole time, whispered, "It's okay, Ron, I don't mind- I mean, _care_- what he said..." She looked up, her eyes were still red but there were no tears. " _Please._" 

Ron sat down, looking puzzled at Hermione. She looked down at her parchment again, ignoring Ron. Harry gave a half shrug, and focused on Snape once more.

Snape narrowed his eyes at the brown head in front of him. "So after the unnecessary interruption, may I please continue my lesson?"

With that he began teaching.

----------

_Don't say I didn't warn you, don't say you didn't know _

_Don't wait 'til it's too late and then try to go _

_The closer you come, the weaker I get _

_If it ain't happened now, just ain't happened yet _

_I'm beggin' you_

Hermione couldn't believe Snape noticed her crying. This sent a warm wave up her before he started insulting her. The pain was worse than it normally does, now that she cared about what he thinks, especially of her. _He hated me_. This statement stabbed her in the stomach and for a moment she couldn't feel anything, barely noticing Ron had stood up and shouted. 

_If only he knew the reason I cried, that stupid idiot. _She thought bitterly when something poke her in the back. She knew it was Lavender, and remembering their conversation earlier, she sat up straighter and put up her defenses. _He is right in a way. I am a Griffindor and I wouldn't cry anymore. I have decided to act according to my heart, and the first step is to ignore his scathing words._ She gave herself one encouraging smile before speaking up.

"It's okay, Ron, I don't mind- I mean, _care_- what he said..." She said, nearly biting her tongue, "_Please_." 

_That was close. But it was true as well, I don't mind his taunts now. That's a part of him, and how I liked him, I think. Oh Hermione Granger, you are twisted. _She flushed and bowed her head even lower, not wanting anyone to see. _Didn't some romance novels said 'Loving a guy is to accept all of him, merits and defects alike'?_

The whole lesson went on like that, she scribbled down everything he lectured in unreadable handwriting, very different from her usual tidy and tiny one, and felt herself almost drowned in his voice. After admitting her feelings this morning she felt even more intrigued by him. The feelings she had tried so hard to ignore in the past week washed over her full power.

_Argh! This will not do!_ She thought angrily, crossing out another line of unrecognizable nonsense. She shook her head in frustration when she heard her name.

"-And Miss Granger please see me after class."

_Hmmm? What had I done this time? _She wondered while Ron made a rude sign under the desk. A minute later the bell rang. She packed her things quickly and giving an assuring nod to the boys, she strode up to Snape's oak desk.

"I am sorry." She apologized before Snape could say anything.

Snape folded his arms, leaned back, and raised an eyebrow. "What had I accused you now? Or should I ask, what had you done wrong that makes you apologize so readily?"

Hermione looked up surprised. "You are not punishing me?" Realizing what she had just said, her eyes fell back onto the desk. She noticed the pink box was still there.

"I hate to say it, but no, I am not punishing you, yet." Snape spoke in his silky, low voice. Hermione winced inwardly at his tone. "No, I just wanted to remind you that you have a detention tonight. Be here eight o'clock sharp, understand?"

_A detention? With him in the dungeons? ALONE??? _She could feel a wave of fear and panic rushing through her body. _So I've said I would act, but I ain't prepared for this, no..._

Snape sat amused as Hermione's emotions flashed across her face. He saw that she wanted to retreat, and there was fear in her eyes. He smirked, then looking straight into her eyes, "There's no escape, Miss Granger."

Hermione looked back into his black orbs, her head reeling with thoughts. _There's no escape, Miss Granger._ _Oh Merlin, that sounds so... right._

_There's no escape..._

----------

A/N: Whoa! This is only half of my original chapter 6! My muse is getting out of control! *Force struggling muse into a box* And Sevvie is proving to be _very_ difficult to write... I don't like the scene really. But anyway, tell me what you think! And yeah, I didn't replace the A/N because some of you reviewed on it and if I replaced it you can't review this chapter! And we don't want that, do we? *wink*

You can hand me over to the Dementors if my next chapter don't come out in 3 days, honestly! And please tell me whether you think my chapters are too long or short...now, REVIEW please!!


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the HP universe, but if you can convince JK to give me Sevvie, I may consider kissing you. Every morning.

A/N: Once upon a time, a lunatic known as BaYer04rulz aka Zanthia checked her reviews.

B: *sings* My reviews are over the ocean, my reviews are over the sea...*frowns* hmm, what is this? *Reads*...'The only bone I have to pick with you is that you mention somewhere that Snape has a 'straight' nose. It's mentioned repeatedly in the books that he's got a big ol' hooked one'...O my GOSH!! Did I write _that???_ *searches frantically through piles and piles of paper*Not here, not here...o no!! *faints*

*Neville comes out and takes paper from fainted Zanthia's hand, reads*

N: "Chapter 3 of The Way They Were Meant To Be"...*ponders cutely* hmmm...this silly girl here must have written something wrong and had been pointed out by one of her reviewers. *turns to audience* but she was after all, a human only. Human make mistakes...so here I'd apologize for Zanthia to all who had read this. And a special thanks to- *glances at computer***Meressefers **for pointing that out! *bows* And since she has fainted, I guess I'd have to be the one to thank the reviewers!

**TeaRoses: **Zanthia would like to thank you for coming back, and yes, she has tried to make Professor Snape *shudders* in character thatz why it is so difficult to write! And she promised to write longer chapters.

**Meressefers: **She would like to say thank you for not flaming her but pointed it out nicely! She promised to be more careful in the future.

**Lily of the Shadow:** *shudders* She is glad that you didn't send her to the Dementors, and even gladder that she did updated this in time. 

**chauntcy:** She rejoices at the sight of a new reviewer, thankies! As for releasing the muse...*thinks* yes, she will if it promised to behave.

**Mary :) :** She will do a horrible dance once she regains consciousness because that's the only way she knows to express her love to a reviewer.

**She-who-must-not-be-named:** She loves your story too, but may be forced to harm you if you don't update. So...*shrugs*

**worf: ***consolingly* It's okay, she wasn't hurt in anyway by your review, and loves that you come back. Yes, Professor Snape *shudders again and again* is like a predator. But she would like to express thatz how all you like him. You girls are weird.

Ok, nuff babbling. On with the story!

----------

Hermione walked out of the dungeons still shocked. She was about to climb the stairs when someone called her from behind.

¡§Wait up Hermione!¡¨ Lavender had waited outside the dungeons but in her daze Hermione had missed her. She stopped and waited for Lavender to catch up. The two girls then went to the Great Hall together, it was lunch time.

¡§So, what did he say to you?¡¨ Lavender asked.

¡§He just reminds me about my detention.¡¨ Hermione sighed, ¡§I was hoping to finish my Herbology essay. Looks like I¡¦d have to do that tomorrow.¡¨

¡§It¡¦s not due until next Monday!¡¨ Lavender laughed at her habit to finish everything the day they were assigned. ¡§And detention! How romantic would that be! I always wanted a detention with Lupin, but he was just too nice to hand one out.¡¨ 

Hermione laughed at her friend¡¦s dreamy expression, ¡§¡¦_Hand one out_ ¡¥! You sound like detentions are treats!¡¨ Shaking her head, she sighed again, ¡§I am not sure it is a good thing. I mean I still cringe upon his scowl... I don¡¦t know how I will react if we are alone."

¡§Just don¡¦t pounce on him okay?¡¨ Lavender threw her head back and chortled. ¡§It¡¦s no big deal, you have attended detention before! Just listen to your soul with your inner ears, and it will tell you what to do.¡¨

¡§You divination-obsessed imp,¡¨ Hermione gave her a friendly shove, ¡§I don¡¦t need inner-ears to know what to do, silly!¡¨

¡§You sure are much happier than this morning,¡¨ Lavender commented dryly, then more seriously, ¡§Hermione, I think you need to tell Harry and Ron about your, eh, new found interest in our Professor.¡¨

Hermione¡¦s smile faded. She bit on her lips thoughtfully, her eyes resolutely staring at the ground. ¡§I- I know Lav. I know I should. I just don¡¦t know how.¡¨

Lavender patted her back sympathetically. ¡§It¡¦s not going to be easy Herm, but you need all the support you can get. I suppose Harry would understand, but Ron... well, he would be mad first but he would stand behind you after a while. He always do, you know that.¡¨

Hermione wanted to say something more but didn¡¦t have the chance. They had arrived the Great Hall. 

---------- 

Hermione had to promise Lavender to tell 'the truth' to Harry and Ron thrice before she was satisfied and walked over to Dean and Parvati. Harry and Ron were sitting in their usual seats, with Ginny and Neville nearby, clearly lost in the sweet world of their own. Ron was decidedly not looking in their direction, but jumped up and waved at Hermione when he saw her entrance. 

Hermione gulped and joined them. 

"Say, Hermy, what took you so long? Did Snape assign you extra homework again?" Ron questioned once she had settled down. Harry looked mildly interested as he helped himself with pasta.

"Ron, how many times do I have to tell you, he didn¡¦t assign me extra homework. I asked for the credit project myself and I got an ¡¥E¡¦!" Hermione answered indignantly, but thinking of what she was about to tell them, her tone softened, "He merely reminded me of my detention tonight."

"I see." Ron seemed satisfied and had no further comments on their potions master, to Hermione¡¦s relief. They sat and talked a little about their lessons and the latest rumors, filling themselves with delicious food. Hermione felt relaxed and slowly forgot about the confession until she received a death-glare from Lavender. She shuddered, and looked away. She could feel Lavender¡¦s eyes on her back.

"Listen guys, I've got something to tell you." She blurted out. The two boys pulled themselves from their Quidditch talk, and focused on her quizzically. Hermione shifted under their gaze, and opened her mouth, only to close it again.

"Well?" Harry prompted gently, eager to get back to Quidditch.

"I, well, I-" Hermione had a strange feeling that she was on a cliff and behind there were armies chasing her. She could sense Lavender egging her on, and with Ron¡¦s and Harry¡¦s expectant looks it was almost too much. She closed her eyes and mumbled, "Ihadacrushumape." 

"Wha-?" Harry and Ron exchanged a look. Hermione took a deep breath, she had say it, it was their fault if they didn¡¦t get it. 

"Would you mind repeating that?" Ron asked brightly. Harry nodded with much more interest now; he had never seen Hermione mumble.

"Look, it is not that important-" Hermione started when a hand landed on her shoulder. Lavender was standing beside her with a big fake smile. "Hullo guys, mind if I join you?" she greeted pleasantly. Hermione gulped visibly. Harry and Ron sniggered, finding Hermione¡¦s reaction of Lavender very amusing since they were normally the ones cowering before her.

"Hermione had something to tell you here," Lavender announced adding pressure on Hermione¡¦s shoulder, who winced and paled. 

"Yeah, I-" Hermione tried, but her voice was not right. She cleared her throat, "Look, this is weird and please take it calmly... I have- oh you won't believe this- I have this thing called-"

"A crush," offered Lavender helpfully, her smile faker than ever. 

"On Snape." Hermione finished and closed her eyes, feeling doomed. All noises in the Great Hall seemed to die down, and there was only a strange ringing in her ears. 

----------

"You what?" Harry cried loudly, earning himself a few curious glances. He lowered his head and whispered, "You had a crush on that- that-" He couldn't find a creative insult.

Ron, to the other two's surprise, boomed with laughter. He slammed his fist on the table, ignoring the disapproving looks of his fellow Griffindor. He looked up at Hermione a minute later, obviously having a hard time restraining himself from another fit of insane laughter, and wiped a tear of mirth from his eye. "That¡¦s a good one Hermione! Harry, did you just hear what I hear? I believe Hermione has finally developed a sense of humor!"

Hermione looked at both of them uncertainly. Lavender had left after she had blabbed out, satisfied and thinking she had done what she had to, so Hermione was left with no support. She stammered, "But Ron, it was not a joke. It was... true."

The gigantic grin was still plastered on Ron's face, and he demanded jokingly, "Say, when are you going to tell him? Please don¡¦t do it in front of me because I may just be _sick_." He pretended to vomit over a dish, making some first years went 'ewww' and giggled.

Hermione went pallid, _well, this __is_ _not unexpected._ She closed her eyes wearily, the wish to cry had returned. 

Harry elbowed Ron and pointed to the tired Hermione. Ron stopped chortling and watched the girl he had liked since God-knows-when. His grin subsided slowly, and he felt his color draining as well. Soon he was as white as Hermione.

"You are joking right? Tell me you are!" He wanted to grasp Hermione shoulders but Harry held him back. "Tell me! Tell me Hermione, tell me you didn't like him, we hated him, remember?" He shouted but fortunately the Griffindors were chattering and didn't hear him.

"Ron, I- I am sorry." Hermione's lips trembled, but she couldn't find anything else to say. 

"You don't- you are jesting- you know how I-" Ron ranted, a drop of sweat rolled down his forehead. "You know all along Herm-"

"I am really, really sorry." Hermione berated herself for being so tactless and selfish. Sure she needed her friends' support, but that didn't justify her hurting Ron. Her chest heaved heavily as she filled herself with self-disgust and regrets. She tried to reach for Ron but he avoided her hand like he did in his third year, but then he was avoiding Peter Pettigrew. _Yes, that__'__s how he sees me now, some kind of filth_. She felt a terrible jolt in her heart, her lungs asking for more air again. Ron's and Harry's friendship was most important to her, no matter how many arguments they had had, it was what made her new life in the wizarding world tolerable, with so many still frowning at her and referring her as 'mudblood'. And now she had dug a knife into Ron. She could feel the same knife stabbing into her abdomen at the same time. Harry looked at both of them with an unreadable expression.

"It's okay Hermione; it is not like you had ever considered _me_. There was always some Vicky or Cedric- don't you _dare _denying- before me, ain't there? It really doesn't matter if you just do it one more time." Ron replied with terrifying calmness, and with as much dignity as he could muster, he marched out of the Hall.

"Ron, no! I don't mean-" Hermione cried, inhaling shallow breaths, but Ron was already out of earshot.

"You know, that's very cruel of you Hermione," said Harry angrily, "You know Ron fancies you. You really shouldn't dump him like that."

"It's not like we had started anything!" Hermione wailed hopelessly. "It was not my fault; I never exactly led him on!" She stopped and gasped for air.

"Well, you never told him you don't like him either! How is he supposed to concentrate on his studies? Not to mention Voldemort's rising and he needs all he can learn from here! Now he'd probably flunk Potions on purpose!¡¨ Harry snapped savagely. Hermione gaped at him unbelievingly, if she had seen how Ron would react, she had not expected this from Harry. She clutched her chest tightly and stood up despite the getting-stronger pain.

"Harry Potter," she bellowed and the table, and soon, the whole Hall, fell silent upon hearing the name and seeing the rare sight of Hermione Granger losing her temper publicly, but she didn't seem to notice. "I tell you the truth because I trusted you both to be mature and understanding enough to see and empathize with my situation, which proves to be the worst idea of my life. And you know what? I think you two jerk can just go to hell because Lavender is right, I don't care what you think." Hermione went paler if that's possible, and she doubled up with pain. She shoved off Harry's helping hand and continued shouting, still unaware that the whole school was listening, "I am _very, very_ tired of you snapping at me every chance you have, and I think it's about time someone smack you in the face and tell you the world don't stop revolving because you are angry. You think about this and when you are ready to say sorry, come and find me in the common room."

She had shouted all this very quickly, and her lungs were screaming when she had finished. She was not sure whether they could stand another shallow, raspy breath, but she stood up anyway and her only thought was to get away from everyone. She almost fell back into her seat. Nevertheless she stayed on her feet and walked. First, second, third...on her fourth step, she gasped a little and then an intense pain hit her chest, like someone was squeezing it with all his might. She tried reaching into her robes but her hands didn't react.

Her vision blurred and suddenly all she could see was emptiness, like she was staring at a big white wall. She blinked but she couldn't see anything else. She wanted to blink again but this time she didn't open her eyes again. Her body slumped onto the floor, and her last memory was hearing Harry's frightened cry.

----------

"How's she?"

"She will wake up any second now, don't worry dear,"

"Is she going to be okay?"

"She'll be fine, I am sure..."

Hermione wanted to hear more but her head was swimming and she couldn't make sense of it all. She squinted her eyes shut, afraid of seeing that white emptiness again.

"Madam Pomfrey, why is she frowning?"

"What? Let me see-"

Hermione felt someone touching her face. A gentle, warm touch. She fluttered her eyelids, and squinted them close when the painfully bright ray slipped through them. She tried again, this time, she could opened her eyes, only to feel herself surrounded by whiteness.

"Oh!" she wanted to sit up but her chest hurt, and what would be a scream came out like a moan.

"Thank God, you are awake!" Harry bent over to see her. Hermione gave him a small smile, and waved her hand. Harry got the clue and helped her up. "You've scared me Hermione, never faint again okay?"

"Yeah, like I can help it," she took the cup out of his hand and drank the water in one gulp. Madam Pomfrey rushed over and checked her temperature, then vacated the room.

"Hey, what happened? Why did I fainted? Where's everyone?" Hermione felt strong enough to bombard questions on Harry now, "And where is- where is Ron?" Even saying the name hurt.

"Whoa, slow down," Harry looked amused but frowned a bit upon Ron's name, "You fainted after our row. Looks like you had an asthma attack when you were very angry. Everyone freaked out- I mean, everyone except the Slytherins- and Lavender helped me to bring you here. Everyone is in class but you're excused. And Ron- Ron left before you woke up."

_Harry is a terrible liar_, Hermione noted but bit back the bitterness. She looked away and focused on the small painting on the far end of the infirmary.

"So..." Harry started uneasily. "Sorry Hermione. I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay," she interrupted him quietly, "I mean, who would want to have a crush on that greasy ol' twit? It was kind of hard to accept, I understand." She laughed mirthlessly, her eyes still fixing on the painting.

He sighed. "See, Lavender told me what kind of things you had gone through. I shouldn't let my temper out on you. I am really sorry. And you are right, the world don't stop revolving just because of my anger."

She turned to look at him, he was smiling nervously, playing with his fingers. She smiled back.

"So, er, now that I knew how you felt I decided," Harry said through great difficulty, "to give you my full support. Yeah." He patted her hand a little.

"Did Lavender threaten you to do this?" Hermione asked.

"Well, she said she would hex me into a hog if I don't, so yeah," Harry said, standing up. "But no, Herm, I trusted you to do the right thing, and I owed you support. So I say go for it Herm, running is not an answer. Don't let him have that power over you. Don't doubt, don't worry." He patted her hand again before leaving the room.

----------

Hermione pulled her robes and fixed her badge. She ran her hand over her hair, attempting to make it straighter. She rapped her cheeks slightly and put on a big smile. _No, I'd look silly,_ she thought and smiled once more, in a more mature way this time. Feeling more or less satisfied with her appearance, she ordered the bludger in her heart to stop bouncing so vigorously and tapped, one, two, three on the large ancient wooden door.

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A/N: *the author wakes up and hugs Neville for helping her with the A/N above* Sorry for the cliffhanger and the shorter chapter, and sorry for not putting in the detention! But next chapter will be better, I promise! One of the lines are from Charmed last night...did someone notice? *Dances* And I have written a new story...sorta one-shot. Would all of you please go and r/r it? And this one too, REVIEW please! I need them to keep me going! And in the meantime, I will go and correct my chapters. *Sings again* My Beta is over the ocean, my beta is over the sea......*sigh*

BTW, can someone tell me what is ROTFLMFAO and LMAO?! *silly grin*


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine, and oh, not mine. 

A/N: Writer blocks, writer blocks, writer blocks. They are _evil!_ I blame my late update on them. Anywayz.

Whoa, 12 reviews a chapter! That's my record! And not one flame! You guys are most generous, I love ya! *big bear hug* And thx for all those telling me what LMAO and ROTFLMFAO is! I will be using them myself! *grin* Now, to my beloved reviewers:

**Caryn: **Glad you like the story!

**Kryptonite: **Thanks for coming back, here's the detention! Enjoy! *wink*

**Lily of the Shadow: **Sorry for not updating earlier, but here it is!

**Mel: **Thank you! I tried my best to update sooner but...*kick writer blocks*

**Sohma Kai:** Thanks for reviewing!

**Metallicafangirl: **Glad ya like it, and I may have said it before, I will say it again: your story's cool!

**Erikalya Arvanesse: **Cool penname! And here is more, enjoy!

**crazy: **I am continuing, please come back and read more!

**Weep You No More Sad Fountains: **You changed your penname! I couldn't recognize you, almost! Here's the next chapter, hope ya like it!

**She-who-must-not-be-named: **Can't blame ya coz myself is writing so sloooowly! NEways, update soon!

**Queen-Ditz: **Glad you like the story!

**ChocolatePudding2: **Cute name! Here's the next chapter, hope you like it!

*phew* I think that's it! On with the story!

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Knock, knock, knock. Someone was tapping on the door. Severus looked up from the parchment he was grading and listened. Nothing. It was as if he had imagined the knock. He was about to return to his work when the sound was heard again. Knock, knock, knock. A soft tap on his door.

"Come in!" He ordered, _this better be good._ He disliked being disturbed, especially when the paper he was grading was bad enough.

The large door cracked open, and a small white face appeared. Hermione Granger. She stepped in and stood by the door quietly.

Severus hadn't expected her. He thought it would be Draco, or any other Slytherin, who had learnt to trust him and seek him when they had problems. They were the only ones who would be finding him in such hours, apart from Dumbledore and McGonagall. Thinking of this, he demanded, 

"What are you doing here?"

_There is something different about her,_ he thought as he scrutinized her with his icy glare. Yes, her face was paler than usual, but that was not it. Her hair was still frizzy, a few tufts lying on her face and neck lazily. Her eyes were looking directly into his, not casually though, he could see her hands tugging her robe tightly. Her smile... that's it! Her smile! _No one smile in my classroom- no, no one smile in my presence_. 

"I- I am here to serve, my detention?" was Hermione's timid reply. Her voice was squeaky, which she hoped hadn't given her away. 

"Detention?" he repeated without taking his eyes off her. "I thought you fainted this afternoon?" He narrowed his eyes.

Hermione gulped visibly. He had noticed her fainting after all. She had thought he might, just might, not know about the 'case' and let her do her detention.

Severus walked from behind his desk over to the now trembling Hermione. He stood directly in front of her and looked down, "Did Madam Pomfrey know you are out of Hospital Wing? Would she allow a student, fainting in the afternoon, serve a detention of _mine_ in that very evening? Being the fussy Healer she is?" Hermione looked down, she had never been very good at lies.

Glaring at the top of her bush of brown hair, he sighed inwardly. 'Why me' was a constant question that ran over his mind, and tonight, it did again. Suddenly he grabbed Hermione by her left sleeve, and pulled her out of the dungeon. Unexpecting something like this to happen, Hermione stumbled after him. 

"I don't know how you did it Miss Granger, but it is a crazy idea to flee the Hospital Wing without Madam Pomfrey's approval. You can't just _run_ _away_ from the infirmary and you are _never_ to do it because you need to serve my detentions- really, that woman would be after my blood if she finds out-" He muttered under his breath as he pulled her along, praying that Poppy hadn't discover her disappearance yet.

Hermione didn't say anything, which she thought was wise because she would definitely bit herself on the tongue if she had tried to talk while struggling to keep up with his long strides. She bit on her lip and walked faster, ignoring the small nagging pain in her chest. However, despite the effort, she couldn't walk quite as fast as Severus did, and would have fallen on the stairs leading to the West Wing if it wasn't for him.

"Incompetent girl, can't you walk properly?" He scolded, but slowed his paces notably after that. They walked along the dark corridors, lit only by shivering torches, in silence. Severus chose not to comment on her shallow breath, and together they arrived the Hospital Wing unseen by others. Pushing the door open, he was relieved that Poppy was no where to be seen. 

Hermione's mind was blank since he grasped her arm and would never know how she had returned to the Hospital Wing. Before she knew it, she was tucked comfortably under white covers, and Severus was bending over her, his face inches from hers. She looked into the now very familiar black pools, and saw a tiny frame clutching the blanket sleepily. That was her.

"You will not leave this room- this _bed_- until you are told to do so. Understand?" He hissed onto her face. She nodded and fluttered her eyes tiredly.

Severus turned and swept out of the room. She looked out of the window near to her bed, up at the black velvety sky. She couldn't figure out what had just happened, so she counted the stars. On her sixth star, she fell deep asleep, and her dreams that night were very sweet.

----------

Severus didn't know what had gotten into him, he was not a caring person. If a sick student ran away from the Hospital Wing he would normally have given her a detention and called some house-elf or a prefect to collect her, but would never bring her back personally. The thoughts were squirming around his head when he looked over his back and saw the Griffindor lying peacefully in bed, the moon showering her in its soft silver gleam. She seemed to glow, her cheeks almost transparent under the light. He closed the door with a slight 'click' and swept down to his dungeons. Seeing piles upon piles of parchments and scrolls, he pushed the incomprehensible thoughts roughly into a dusty corner at the back of his head, and didn't take them out again.

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Hermione received a small cheer from the Griffindor table two days later, when she was released from the Hospital Wing at last, but not before she promised to take the potion Madam Pomfrey gave her regularly. She was very pleased to find that the first and second years missed their prefect a lot.

"Good to see you again Herm," greeted Harry and Lavender when she sat down next to them. Ginny looked up and gave her a small wave from the other end of the table. Hermione smiled back and wiggled two fingers at the other girl. Her smile freeze however, when she saw Ron. He was not looking at her, and was laughing at some joke with some third year girls really loudly. She swallowed bitterly and fixed her gaze on the table.

"Whoa, Hermione, that hotdog is going to burn," said Lavender. She poked the sausage and dropped it onto her friend's already full plate. "Eat more Herm, you need the energy. I mean, you are so pale!" Harry nodded in agreement, loading even more food onto her plate.

"Madam Pomfrey didn't exactly starve me! In fact, I am surprised that I hadn't burst yet!" Hermione chuckled lowly, pushing the food around with a fork but wouldn't take a bite. Ron certainly had a way to make her appetite go.

"C'mon, eat some." Harry started to cut her food into smaller pieces. "I will feed you if you don't."

_I have made the decision, I am not going to back down just because of Ron,_ Hermione thought, seeing the worried faces of her friends. She had been doubted before, hadn't she? But always it would turned out that she was correct, and she would gamble one more time. _This is going to be a long battle, and I will not be bashed by some lousy boy. _She brightened up and put a piece of carrot into her mouth.

Lavender and Harry let out a sigh of relief, happy to see her sat up again. They were joking and talking about what happened in the past two days, when Severus walked up to them. The table fell silent. He was almost six feet tall, and when you were sitting, he could look like a tower. His cold eyes swept across every scared Griffindor, then locked onto a particular auburn-haired girl. He strode up ignoring the whispers exchanging behind his back.

"You will serve your detention tonight. Eight o'clock, the same place." Hermione could feel him standing behind her, and her back got rigid immediately. She nodded without looking back. Severus stared hard at the girl in front of him, and exited the hall without another word.

"Relax, he is gone," Lavender whispered to Hermione whose shoulders slumped upon the words, and a silly grin spread across her face.

"Hermione?" Harry asked, worried again at the sight of such a grin appearing on her face. You can hardly see one on Hermione. "Are you alright?"

"Something happened." Lavender, who was more an expert in the area of mind-reading than Harry, stated.

"Well..." Hermione drawled with a dreamy expression.

"I've got the feeling that you are enjoying this too much," said Harry, trying to look uninterested.

"Am I?" Hermione laughed, and was soon joined by Lavender and Harry. All three of them were unaware of a pair of eyes watching, flames of jealousy and pain flaring in them.

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She had missed her classmates, her professors, the stifled giggles in lessons, her textbooks and inkbottle... and it felt so good to be back to the lessons. The familiar sound of quills scratching on parchments, the sparks flying in Charms, even the droning of Professor Binns, all made her felt alive once more, and the day passed in a blur as she absorbed knowledge in an alarming speed. By the time she stepped out of Transfiguration the sky was already burning orange. 

She paused at the corridor facing the Lake, let her bag slip beside her, and looked. The clouds were in red and orange of different hues, the Lake was glittering with golden scales, creasing when a soft breeze went by. Hermione took a lungful of fresh cool air, closed her eyes and listened to the rustling of pine trees at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. She opened her eyes again, and inwardly marveled at the beauty of this place- Hogwarts had many wonders, and it never stopped amazing her.

A loud laugh rang through the hallway and broke the peaceful silence. Hermione frowned slightly and turned to the source of the disturbance. Ron, together with some fourth year Hufflepuff girls were talking and joking loudly. For a fleeting second their eyes locked, but when Hermione wanted to say 'Hi', he walked pass her like she was invisible, an arm on a girl's shoulder, their paces not slowing a bit.

Hermione stared straight at the now empty corridor, their noisy chattering could still be heard from behind. She put down her half-raised hand miserably, and bent down to pick her bag up.

"Why Miss Granger, what are you doing here?" Came a stern voice. Hermione turned and saw her Transfiguration Professor.

"I- I am going to the Great Hall." 

"Hermione, what's the problem?" There was a trace of concern in Professor McGonagall's words. 

"Uh-uh. It's nothing," the younger witch shook her head and forced a small smile. "I am just- caught up-" She waved a hand at the scenery behind her.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Said Professor McGonagall, and the two of them stood watching the heavens change to a darker shade of blue. "Oh, we better go to the Great Hall now." 

"Yeah," Hermione flashed a much more genuine smile and followed the head of her house down to the Hall.

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"Which one look better on me?" Hermione asked, putting two robes in front of her.

"You know, they don't look any different to me," Lavender answered.

"They _are_ different, this is crimson, this is cherry-red."

"He can't see the difference, not in that dungeon!"

"And this one has this cute gold button-"

"Whatever!" Lavender threw her hands up in exasperation. "Listen, this is a _detention,_ not a _date_."

"I know," Hermione replied meekly, and threw on the 'crimson' one with 'cute gold buttons'. With fumbling fingers, she pulled her dripping-wet hair into a ponytail.

"I don't know why you bother to bath before a detention," Lavender sat on the bed cross-legged, watching her friend buzzing here and there in amusement. "For all I understand you are likely to scrub the dungeon all night."

"Do I smell right?" was Hermione's nervous question as she pulled out stuff from her trunks.

"You smell great," Lavender rolled her eyes. "What are you looking for?"

"My ribbon," Throwing things out of her trunks, she managed to say. "Oh no! I am going to be late!"

"Here," Lavender handed the gold ribbon Hermione had gotten out earlier. "Relax!"

Hermione tied the gold ribbon onto her hair and ran a hand through it. It was still wet, but at least it was not bushy. She pulled her robe and put on a smile. "How do I look?"

"You are the prettiest witch ever," Lavender pushed a strand of hair behind her friend's ear. "Serving a detention anyway. Now off you go!" 

With a swift "Thanks" and a twirl, Hermione went out of sight.

----------

_Here we go again,_ she patted herself lightly on the cheeks and tapped on the large door for the second time in the week. 

Silence.

She knocked again, more determinedly this time. Knock, knock, knock. 

Nothing. She thought for a moment, then tried the handle. The door wasn't locked. She pushed the heavy door open, and stepped into the dimly lit room.

Severus was sitting by his usual desk, books and parchments scattered around him. His head was lowered, curtains of long black hair hiding most of his face. He was reading something, obviously so engrossed that he didn't notice someone entering, one of his fingers drumming on the desk absently. A large pewter candle was standing on a silver candleholder, lighting a merrily wavering flame. It made the whole table glow and stand out from the rest of the dark dungeon. 

She didn't know how long had she been standing there. Since that night he escorted her back to the Hospital Wing, the menace she could see every time near him before seemed to vanish. Now, the mere sight of him sent a warm wave up her chest. She didn't know why was she touched, why did she want to cry, but she did. Her heart thumped louder and faster, and the stone walls seemed to be resonating to her pulse. 

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

At that moment, the entire world included the two of them in a dank dungeon, and a steady beat. She was sure he could hear it, at least feel it, since the whole chamber seemed to be vibrating.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

Suddenly, Severus looked up from his parchment with a scowl on his face. "What are you doing standing there? Come in!"

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Severus was grading the sixth year Slytherins papers. He was always proud of his house, as a student and as a professor, and was never ashamed to admit he possessed many of Slytherin's attributes: cunning, shrewd, calculating- and was even once power-hungry- but it worried him just reading the work of these young people. Some of them had begun adding dark magic in their potions, as shown in their homework. Maybe they thought it was fine to let him know, it was common knowledge in Slytherin that he was a Death-Eater, after all. It was not a comforting thought that he was more or less responsible for these teenagers- how many of them would turn to the Dark Side, now that Voldemort had arose again? And what possibly can he do? He was a spy, and nothing, absolutely nothing, should risk this position.

Thinking of being a spy, he was suddenly aware that someone was near. He looked up, mentally berating himself for not being more careful, and saw Hermione Granger standing at the door, wearing a strange expression.

_Damn, why is she smiling again?_ He frowned, and snarled, "What are you doing standing there? Come in!"

She walked quietly into the room, closing the door behind her. He glared at her. Unlike Hermione, he had almost forgotten all about the other night, and felt nothing but annoyed at the girl. He knew he shouldn't, but he was always like that to students outside his house. Even to Slytherins he wasn't particularly nice. In fact, he hadn't been nice for who-knows-how-long he was pretty sure that the 'good' side was eliminated from his system.

"Brew the Dreamless Sleep Potion, would you?" He waved a hand at the cauldron next to his table. "_Accio phials_." About a dozen glass phials zoomed across the room and landed on a small wooden table next to the cauldron. "Fill those, you should brew about four batches. Get anything you need in the cupboard." With that he returned to his parchments and paid no further attention to Hermione.

Hermione couldn't believe her ears. _Dreamless Sleep Potion?_ It's not exactly easy like a Shrinking Potion, but not something she couldn't do in about three hours, and definitely not something she was expecting in Severus's detentions. The idea of doing something this trivial in his detentions was laughable. Was he just being nice, seeing that she was sick a few days ago? _Nah, the day he is nice to a Griffindor will be the day I take up Divination again. Maybe he hadn't prepared for the detention... or maybe he just wouldn't trust me, the incompetent Griffindor, with a more challenging potion? Yeah, that's probably it..._ Thoughts swimming in mind, she set off and took out the ingredients she needed from the cupboard.

---------- 

It was not difficult, but it was beyond tedious. Hermione mechanically dropped in two drops of belladonna essence, and stirred as the potion slowly turned into the right shade of purple. This was her third batch of potion, and she felt she could just close her eyes and sleep and the potion would still be right. 

_This is a waste of time, he can easily brew this himself with half a mind, _ thinking of the homework and research she could have done if not because of this stupid detention, she became more and more pissed off. She couldn't hum, she couldn't whistle, what fun was there in potion-brewing if you couldn't whistle? She stirred a bit stronger than she intended to, and the potion emitted a small purple puff and a warning hiss. She stole a quick glance at Severus- he hadn't noticed.

_The only good thing about brewing an easy potion was that you can afford letting your mind drift off to other- certain things, _her hand instinctively reached for the bottle of crushed dragon fangs. Her eyes shifted to the man working at the desk next to her cauldron for the millionth time that night. He was frowning, he was nodding, he was pointing out a mistake in that essay- she started to enjoy herself by guessing the grade that parchment would receive by reading his expressions. It was hard, but he was not as expressionless as she thought. He would stack the essays up at the end of his desk, and she could take a peek at the grade, to see whether she had been right or not.

_He was frowning and oh no, a big stroke of quill- this student probably had a 'D'- _with a quick look she knew she was right. _He didn't look particularly pleased at this piece, but at least he was not scowling, maybe an 'A'?_

Severus finished marking the sixth year Slytherins' essays and so did Hermione her third batch. Ladling the purple potion into the phials, she looked to her left again. This time, something on the desk caught her eye.

A pink box. _The_ pink box that blonde gave him last week. Why was it still there? Hermione wondered, as she loaded the cauldron with water from her wand. _It must be pretty important to him if it was there on the desk for a whole week, right? What's in there? _An unpleasant pang ran through her body. _What is so special about that box the girl gave him that he would put it on his desk for so long? What kind of gift is it?_

The more she thought about it, the brighter the box seemed to be, and it stung her eyes. She clenched her jaws and let herself smothered in the flame of jealousy, in the burning feeling that was slowly consuming her. She added a pinch of bat droppings into the cauldron without looking, her gaze resolutely staying on the small package. 

_It's probably just some innocent thank you gift, for extra lessons, maybe? _She consoled herself, but a fresh surge of envy washed over her when the words _extra lessons _crossed her mind. She almost stirred more than she should in her sulking. 

The scene replayed itself in slow motion in her head, the sickly sweet voice was heard again: _Professor, please. You know how long I've been working on these. _

_ Grrr. What had she worked on? How had it anything to do with him? _Hermione dropped in the drops of belladonna essence again, and stirred, added the dragon fangs and stirred some more, until the potion was done. She was not paying attention, however, her hands ladled the potion into phials automatically. _Stupid box. Stupid girl. Stupid wavy hair. Stupid extra lessons- stupid him. Why must he put that box in front of me? Why must he give her extra lessons? _ In her mental ranting, she forgot that the extra lessons probably existed in her mind only.

She labeled the phials accordingly, and put them up the shelves. She then went back to clean the cauldron. During all this, Severus hadn't look up from his parchments. It was as if he was oblivious to another living soul was in the same room with him. Hermione pursed her lips and looked at the pink box with great dislike. 

Why had she done it, why would she dare, would remain a mystery for as long as she lives. Hermione had experienced jealousy before, with Cedric and Cho together it was rather difficult not to. But she had never let it out like this. She picked up her wand, pointed at the annoyingly pink box, and whispered, "_Reducto_". 

The effect was instantaneous and drastic, the pink box exploded as the last syllable left her lips. The contents inside, together with what was left of the box, was blasted all over the place- on the ceiling, on the desk, on the parchments, on Hermione, and worst, on Severus. 

"Whoops," she whispered under her breath, as Severus finally looked up with furious eyes.

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He had forgotten all about the box he was forced to accept last week. If not for Potter, Weasley and this Granger girl here spying on him he may not need to take it in the first place. That seventh year Slytherin- Acree was it?- was beyond reason. Sure, he had been fancied by silly students before, especially in his earlier teaching days, but he had always managed to put them down by being the nasty, sadistic professor he was. He couldn't believe someone would still like him after all these years, with his reputation as the worst professor Hogwarts ever hired. 

What's more unbelievable was the perfect Granger blew the box up. In his face. During a detention.

He looked up and counted from one to ten, he couldn't hex her, no. He glared maliciously at the girl, her face now covered with shreds of pink paper and some brown thing. He didn't even want to know what that is. 

He strode up to her, trying with all his might to restrain from swinging his fist at her. He stood directly in front of her and glared down at the witch about one and a half head shorter than himself. She was not looking away, instead she was looking straight at him. He would have cheered for her if he wasn't so angry- few students could do that in his full fury. _Or maybe she was just too scared to look away._

"What do think you are doing, blasting my office apart?" His voice dangerously low.

"I- I didn't _blast your office apart._" Hermione replied timidly. "I just- eh-"

"Blasted my personal belongings!" He let out a hiss of anger, wanting to strangle the Griffindor in front of him. "A hundred points from Griffindor, and a week's detention!"

"A week's detention?" She repeated incredulously. "You can't put me in detention when I am already in one!"

"I can, and I am," he snarled malevolently, "Don't you ever question my authority of being a professor again, or I will make it a month's."

Hermione stared at him, mouth agape. He had to be kidding, a week's detention? What about her homework? So yeah, what if she blew a box up. It was only a box! Unless it was more than _only a box_ to him- that would explain everything, but she refused to accept it as a possibility. He wouldn't like some stupid student twenty years younger than him, she thought, forgetting that included her. Looking up at him once more, she saw that his hair was not as tidy, tufts of it were messily lying on his face, which was grimacing with fury and covered with some brown substance. 

Observing him made Hermione wonder what state of her own face was in. She traced a finger across her cheek and yes, the same ooze was there. She took some and smelt it. With plenty of courage she put some into her mouth. Hmm. She took some more off her face and started to lick her finger.

"Chocolate!"

No matter how skilled Severus was in Legilimency he would never understand the mind of a Griffindor, let alone a Griffindor fifteen-year-old know-it-all. First she didn't tremble in fear like normal students would if he advanced on them perfectly pissed off, second she began to eat that muddy substance in front of him. He stared and for a second, words failed him.

"Why did she make you chocolate?" Hermione asked, still licking her finger. "Sir?" She added as an afterthought.

"How is that any of your business?" Snapped Severus, coming out of his reverie.

"You like chocolate, sir?" She continued, not taking in his scathing tone.

"Stay out of my personal interests, you nosy dunce," if looks could kill, she would have been dead several times by now. "You Griffindors are all the same, sticking your nose into where it don't belong-"

Hermione watched as he continued insulting Griffindors, but didn't really listened. Even if she did, she doubted that she would mind much... a plan was slowly forming in her head as she looked at the remains of the pink box lying on his desk. She looked up again at Severus and saw that he hadn't yet finish with his rumbling. It was very funny, seeing him there pacing back and forth, throwing insults at her with chocolate at the tip of his nose. A fit overtook her and she burst into giggles.

Severus gawked at the girl and for the second time of the night thought she was out of her mind. He was sneering and taunting her house, and there she was caught in a fit of giggles. And it didn't look forced, she was genuinely laughing at something. He continued staring as Hermione straightened up and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye.

"Here, you've got chocolate on your nose," she was smiling when she walked up to him and tiptoed. With great difficulty she managed to finger the speck of chocolate off his nose. Without thinking, she licked the chocolate from her finger.

Severus gaped at her finger, then at her. They stared at each other, speechless. Her face flushed into a brilliant red that could rival the color of her robe when what she had just done finally dawned on her. She shook her head disbelievingly, and ran out of the dungeon. Severus stood there for a whole minute before moving again, swearing and cleaning up the room.

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The sky was pale blue, the sunrays shone through the trees and danced on the lime green grass. Once in a while an owl would fly pass, elegantly taking the mail to its master. It was a cool afternoon perfect for Quidditch.

A girl in red robes walked across the meadow and down to the Lake, a thick book tucking under her arm. Finding a comfortable spot, she sat down and leant against a tall Willow.

It was a free period for Hermione, normally she would have spent it in the library, but she felt it was too nice a day to waste it indoors. She put the book she had just checked out onto her lap. It was a thick moldy book, and instead of about Arithmancy or Transfiguration it bore the title, "1000 easy cuisine that appeals to a wizard".

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A/N: How da ya like it? Personally I think this is a better chapter, mostly because there's more Severus! Tehehe... I am writing another humor fic about him, so I may update slower, but I will try to put one up every week! Please take the time to read that too... Now, you know the drill, please REVIEW!


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: All things in HP universe belongs to someone called J.K.Rowling, not B.Y.Rulz. Pity.

A/N: Finally this chapter is up! I've resolved to upload a new chapter once a week, so here it is. How do you anonymous reviewers remember which stories you are reading? *puzzled* Anyway, from now on please leave your e-mail so that I can notify you when this is updated! I've received 10 reviews this chapter...that's very very nice of you people! But I need morrrrrrrre...*agonizing groan* Do betas write summaries? Should I get one? *taps chin* Hmmm...

**Kelly: **I didn't think much about SS/HG before but since I stumbled upon WIKTT...well, here is more Sevvie for you (and me)!

**crazy: **Thank you! I will keep writing until my hand rots (not literally, but you get the idea)!

**She-who-must-not-be-named: **I understand...don't we all hate writer blocks! Remember I am here waiting patiently, so patiently for your new chapter!

**ChocolatePudding2: **A kissy Sevvie would be a terrifying Sevvie! But somehow it sounds _very_ tempting to my ears...

**Lagaz: **Ohhh...a chocolate covered Sevvie...you are not the only one drooling...

**TeaRoses: **More on Ron's reaction, hope you enjoy! And yea, don't we all believe Sevvie is soft and compassionate deep down...*hugs him*

**Tanit: **Glad you love it! Hermione was younger than Harry and Ron. She entered Hogwarts at 10 (coz her birthday's in September) so she was 15 in fifth year, hope this clear it up!

**Queen-Ditz: **Here it is, the update! Hope you like it as much!

**Mel: **Whoa, thatz some compliment...*blushes* hope you like the other stories as well!

**Weep You No More Sad Fountains: **Hmm, you may have to wait longer for all this to come together! For all I know, I may be writing up to 400 chapters... kidding! I am only kidding! Don't hit me! Noooo! *dodges fists*

On with the story! Yay! Wait...*receives death glares* the song, or poem, was not mine. It was a beautiful Chinese song I've translated. Enjoy!

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    _The battle started--_
    
    _Nipping my lips, accepting it with an upright back _
    
    _Why don't I have the courage, to take that lovely promise?_

"Wh-wha-what?" Harry said with a piece of toast in his mouth. Which was unfortunate, because as his mouth hung open, crumbs fell.

"You did _what?_ " Lavender enquired with eyes as big as saucers and walking away from Harry.

"I said: I- flicked-some-chocolate-off-his-nose-and-licked-it," Hermione said, stopping at each word like to a kid, and slowly losing her patience. "And close your mouth, Harry, that's gross."

"Wh-Whoa," Harry pulled back his jaw which had almost touch the floor. "I never know you have that in you."

"Oh knock it off," Hermione said impatiently, "I have smacked Malfoy before! So how's this a big deal? I would have done it if there's chocolate on your or-" at this she paused and closed her eyes, "Ron's nose."

"But that's Snape Hermione," Lavender pointed out. "He is not Harry or Ron! They're your friends, you know."

"Not that he thinks so anymore," Hermione said darkly, looking sideways at a particular red-head a few feet in front of them, laughing and gathering a crowd around him. They were walking down to the dungeons, it was double Potions with- who else?- the Slytherins.

"That jerk," Lavender muttered. Harry's brows knitted tightly at this.

"He still likes you Herm," he said serenely, "this will take some time but he will understand some day."

"Hmm, I bet he will understand the day before the end of the world," Lavender said sarcastically.

"Look, I will talk to him," Harry ignored Lavender's comment and looked at the miserable Hermione. She nodded and flashed him a bitter smile.

"At least _we_ think you did the right thing, being true to yourself and all," Lavender said comfortingly. "I mean, anyone who has _half_ a brain would think so-"

"It's okay," Hermione willed the corners of her mouth to pull a wider smile. "I am alright-"

The three of them stopped as they approached the enormous door.

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    _The weighty diamond ring, the impossible mission_
    
    _Safeguarding and shielding it on the convoluted marathon _
    
    _But please, never let go of my hand_

The dungeon was already half-filled by Slytherins who were uncharacteristically early that day when they entered the room. Hermione and Harry took their usual seats, while Lavender went over to join Dean in the row behind them. Hermione saw Ron stood at the door, looking around the room, obviously deciding whether to sit with them or not. The fact that he no longer wanted to be near her sent the bitterness that she was growing used to up her chest. A second later, Ron walked to the back of the classroom and sat alone beside the Slytherins.

Both the Griffindors and Slytherins seemed dumbfounded at this. Hermione's housemates wore puzzled looks on their faces, while their rivals simply arched their eyebrows. Ron kept his face at a straight, expressionless one and was defiantly not looking at anyone. Draco Malfoy was about to make a remark when Snape walked through the door leading to his office.

Still the tall, menacing man, he was clothed in black robes and wearing his patent scowl. He leant against his table- which bore no sign of last night's disastrous explosion- idly, arms crossed. If he had noticed any change in the seating arrangements, he hadn't voice it out. Hermione's attention easily slipped towards the man, and put Ron behind her concern. Harry observed her dreamy expression amusedly before poking her slightly. Two crimson patches rose on her cheeks and she smiled shyly at the boy.

"Today you are all brewing the Plausibus Potion, invented by Rachel Zennich in 1926, and is yet another potion likely to come up in your O.W.L." Severus drawled in his silky tone, intending to catch each and every student's attention. "Who can tell me what, exactly, does a Plausibus Potion do?"

Hermione's hand twitched as she refrained with all her might not to put it up. The class was half amused, half astonished to see her hand staying obediently on the desk instead of waving in the air at the sound of a question. Severus threw her a meaningful look before asking Pansy Parkinson to answer the question.

"The Plausibus Potion, if brewed correctly and drank directly, can cause the subject under its influence to believe almost anything he is being told. It was a Dark Potion before the 1980s when a reverse potion was invented. The potion can be fought though, and depends largely on the brewer's magical ability on its effectiveness. It is quite dangerous brewing it, because it is highly explosive before Lobalug venom is added." The Slytherin smiled smugly before sitting down.

"Correct, ten points to Slytherin." Severus smirked at the girl, knowing very well that she was familiar with the potion only because it was dark once. Her family must have told her about it. He shook off the thought and instructed the students, "Now set up your cauldrons and get the ingredients-" the ingredients list flashed on the blackboard, "from the cupboard."

Hermione stood up and read the list once more although she had it all in her mind already. She walked to her usual working bench, _accio_-ed the ingredients, and set up her cauldron. She was filling it with water when Severus started to group students into pairs. She was not paying attention, as she was sure she would end up with a Slytherin partner. _He always paired us that way, not to enhance inter-house harmony of course, but to have his beloved Slytherins watchin' us for him, giving them the perfect chance to taunt and provoke us..._she mused quietly and arranged the ingredients systematically on her bench. 

Severus was indeed pairing one Griffindor to one Slytherin, only because he didn't trust two Slytherins around a cauldron full of potion ingredients. He easily paired Harry with Malfoy, Dean with Crabbe and Lavender with Parkinson. However, today a Slytherin boy was missing- whether he was sick or simply didn't want to show up Severus had no way to know- and that left two Griffindors out. He frowned and instructed reluctantly that Ron Weasley to move over and join Granger, who was busying herself around the cauldron. _She is not truly believing that she could brew such a complicated potion single-handedly, is she? _He thought, as Weasley dragged himself towards his housemate. Severus wondered for a moment why had Weasley looked as reluctant to move over as he was to order him to, but dismissed the thought. _Griffindors are stupid, who wants to fathom their minds anyway._

----------
    
    _Everyone knows I have a fiery temper _
    
    _Recklessly plunging into life, minding no manner_
    
    _If I've resolved to be with you_
    
    _I don't really care whatever I'd have to give up_
    
    _If this feeling needs obstinacy, I will do what I have to_
    
    _Run with all my might is the only thing I can do_
    
    _Now I'm on the field_
    
    _Biting on my lip, I set off in my wedding gown_
    
    _Be with you the rest of my life..._

Hermione was excited to find the potion more challenging that she thought. She was not looking when her hand reached out to the ingredients, her eyes being focused on the board, so she was very startled when she touched something warm on the bench.

"I am sorry I-" she stopped seeing whose hand she had touched accidentally. Ron glared at her but didn't say anything, and picked up the daisy roots he needed.

Hermione studied him for a second but he didn't respond further. She sighed inwardly and picked up her roots as well.

_This is not unexpected,_ she reminded herself,_ take it easy Hermione, he will understand..._

But she couldn't take it easy. The silence was unbearable between the two, and she missed the small talks, the laughs and even the bickering they would have shared if working together before. Willing her mind not to brood on the depressing moment, she turned her train of thoughts effortlessly towards their Potions Master.

He was sliding around without a sound, looking over the backs of unsuspecting students, checking their work. He marked the ingredients they took, especially the Slytherins', Hermione noted, probably because they were known to sneak ingredients into their robes. His robes billowed after him as he walked in the same arrogant, albeit elegant manner, but he managed to keep them out of the flames- Hermione almost chuckled remembering the last time his robes caught fire was the work of hers in first year.

"Are my eyes deceiving me, or are you really drooling all over Snape?" A cold voice injected and interrupted her thoughts.

All desire to chuckle had left Hermione quickly as she tore her eyes from Severus and looked into the smoldering ones of Ron. She flinched and searched for the familiar warmth in them to no avail. 

Seeing Hermione flinched had only managed to anger Ron further. Snape was the one she should be flinching from, not me, he thought. From the way she looked at Snape, Ron suddenly understood that this was all real but not some nightmare. She hadn't had that look on her when she looked at Krum or Diggory, and this time she would not return, unlike the previous experiences when he was so confident that when she grew bored she would always come back to him. The reality struck hard and almost knocked him over and the sight of her glowing face became so intolerable that he found that he needed to rub it off by any means. 

_I did it,_ he thought with some grim satisfaction as the girl's face was immediately clouded by sadness, but the flinch made him wanted to attack again.

"I can't believe you like some kind of stuck-up fool twenty years older than you," he continued in a whisper so that only the two of them could hear.

"He is not a fool!" She started indignantly, but lowering her voice as well, "Don't call him-"

"Aww isn't that so sweet," Ron said, sarcasm dripping from his words, "What are you going to do, hex me into a flea? That'd be good because I will be blind and not see any future drooling of yours. Not to mention I can hop into Snape's greasy hair and suck his blood-" he put on a mock look of recognition, "Oh the _greasy hair_, is that the matter with you? You can't resist _greasy hair_?"

Hermione couldn't think of anything to say, so she looked down and continued crushing her beetle eyes although they were in very fine powder already. However, Ron wasn't finished.

"Look, if you haven't noticed yet, the chance of he ever noticing you is like slimmer than impossible, so why can't you- just get real?" He refrained from saying 'why can't you just be with me?' because he was not sure he wanted the answer. "I know you don't like your potions grade, but sleeping with him won't raise that to an 'O'..."

"I didn't like him because I want good grades!" She felt every capillary in her body threatening to blow at the scathing comment, and her heart pumped faster. _Calm down, don't mind him Hermione, ignore him._

Ron snorted. "Oh? Then why would you fancy an old bat of a man? You are never exactly close to him are you? So why the sudden crush? You only liked him because of his looks- though why his looks appeal to you is beyond me- and a Slytherin, too."

"Ron," she pleaded. "If I could choose I would never have chosen him... I can't control how I feel about him-"

"I bet you can," he retorted heatedly, completely ignoring the fact that he couldn't control his feelings towards her either, "are you blind or are you imbecile? He is twenty years older than you, and we both know he would _never_ return whatever you feel for him!" _And I couldn't admit defeat to the greasy git I loathed from the first day I set foot in here,_ but this Ron didn't say.

"I- I," of course she had understood this one fact, but hearing Ron saying it so matter-of-factly had wounded her.

"You are only evading the obvious," stated Ron cruelly, paying no attention to the paling girl. 

"I am not, and I hadn't decided to admit my feelings because I wanted him to return anything to me!" Hermione said with some difficulty, her chest was tightening again, which was not a good sign. _He didn't mean it, ignore him_, she ordered herself to little success. Nevertheless, she continued, "I am simply being brave, acting according to my heart like a proper Griffindor. Unlike someone else who never had the courage to admit anything."

"I am not a coward!" He said, rising his voice and earning himself some curious glances from students working next to their bench, but he didn't pause so much as a second. "So I love you, does that sound okay to you? Or should I shout it in front of the class?"

Hermione caught Lavender's alarmed gaze, but she shook her head, silently indicating that nothing was wrong. "I am sorry-"

"And what good would my confessing do? Are you going to come back to me because I admitted my love to you? Are you? Are you?" Ron pressed, his face's color matching that of his hair, and Hermione swore she could see smoke coming out of his head like the cauldron beside him.

"No, Ron-" his face went even redder at this, and Hermione's chest arched badly at the sight. "Listen, there is more to love than asking for something in return. Like caring, like giving, like sacrificing-"

"Our friendship. Is that what you are planning to sacrifice? Is it?" He didn't care about keeping his voice down anymore.

"No! What makes you think I would ever do that?" _The pain! Had he no faith in me? Didn't he understand what his friendship meant to me? _"But like I said, I am a Griffindor-"

"DON'T YOU DARE SAYING 'GRIFFINDOR'!" Ron bellowed, unaware that the whole dungeon had gone quiet and everyone was listening intently. "THAT IS A LIE! AN EXCUSE! THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE, A PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A GRIFFINDOR! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A DAMN BETRAYAL!" 

With that he gathered up his dignity and belongings, and stormed out of the dungeon. 

The dungeon went dead for a full five minutes, no one, _no one ever_ shouted in Snape's lessons, let alone running out of it. Everyone stood stunned, including Hermione, who seemed unable to take in any of this and had a blank look on her face.

"Tut, tut," Draco Malfoy broke the silence finally, "I never thought I'd see the day that Weasel find his wizard pride back and dump his _mudblood_ girlfriend." The Slytherins sniggered and the room buzzed back into life. 

"Take that back!" Harry shot up angrily as some red sparks shot out of his wand tip. Lavender and several other Griffindors stood to back him, their wands also in place. 

"Giving me an order, Potter?" Malfoy drawled, slowly standing up with his fellow Slytherins, wands out. "I am a prefect-"

Glares were thrown between the two parties, while the looks on their faces clearly showed that curses were what they wished to throw. Tension slowly built up and neither party prepared to back down. In this bursting atmosphere, Neville was the only one who noticed when Hermione suddenly doubled over. He let out a small yelp, and immediately became the center of attention. He cowered a little under all the glowers, and pointed at a very pallid and panting Hermione.

She didn't know what had hit her for a second, the pain was so intense and forced every ounce of air out of her lungs. Her vision was blurred by tears, and she bent over clutching her chest, when all she wanted to do was to scream, scream, _scream_ the pain out. However nothing more than a moan escaped her lips. 

"What the-?" Harry blinked, stupefied and stared as Hermione struggled to stand up and with trembling fingers fished a phial out of her robes, then downed the green contents in one gulp. 

"Fainting again?" Malfoy sneered, his wand still in his hand. Harry whirled and faced him once more, growling venomously.

"QUIET!" Snape hissed dangerously. "Put away your wands and get- Back- To- WORK!" Every student immediately obeyed seeing their teacher shaking with fury. 

His lesson had not been disturbed for a long time, and last time it did he deducted two hundred points each from the boys, which were, fortunately, not in his house. He calmed himself down and glared at the source of all disturbances- Hermione Granger. She had went back to work, her breath stabled but color had not returned to her cheeks, where huge, crystal-like tears rolled down and dropped into the simmering cauldron before her. It was almost miraculous that in such a battered state her potion was still perfect.

Hermione put in the last of her roots and stirred slowly, automatically, her mind unable to think but only replaying every little detail of what had Ron just said.

_ ...Are my eyes deceiving me, or are you really drooling all over Snape?..._

_ ...He is twenty years older than you, and we both know he would never return whatever you feel for him! You are only evading the obvious..._

_ ...And what good would my confessing do? Are you going to come back to me because I admitted my love to you? Are you? Are you?..._

_ ...Our friendship. Is that what you are planning to sacrifice? Is it?..._

_ ...DON'T YOU DARE SAYING 'GRIFFINDOR'! THAT IS A LIE! AN EXCUSE! THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE, A PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A GRIFFINDOR! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A DAMN BETRAYAL!..._

"Miss Granger, your potion is going to explode if another tear dropped in it," commented Severus dryly, not sure whether his voice had penetrated through the blue fog circling the girl or not. Lavender threw him poisoned daggers through narrowed eye slits. Hermione cringed at the voice, and looked up into him like she just found out that she was in a dungeon and he was there.

Something in those large, teary brown eyes unnerved him, and he couldn't look away from them. She blinked, causing another round tear to fall, which was hastily brushed away with the back of her hand. "I- I am sorry sir." Her voice wavered a little, but to Severus' relief she hadn't break down or faint beside the cauldron, _who knows what I'd do if that happened? I may lose my patience completely and combust her in my deluxe silver cauldron, size 10._

The lesson went on relatively uneventfully. The students filled their phials and labeled them, while Severus assigned them their essay. Hermione was writing it down in her planner when she heard Severus called, "Miss Granger, Potter, see me after lesson. And you too, Mr. Malfoy."

She slipped her belongings into her bag, mentally sighing, she had thought he had forgotten about punishments and taking points. She walked up biting her lips, and saw Harry and Malfoy fidgeting in front of the desk, shoving each other's foot below it.

"That was very unwise of you Draco," Severus said in his silky tone, though his expression was stern, "I am most unwilling to, but 50 points are taken from Slytherin." Turning to Harry, his voice became notably icier, "And you Potter, will serve a week's detention with our caretaker, with 50 points taken as well." He paused slightly as if challenging him to say anything and when Harry didn't, he scowled and said, "Get out, you two."

Hermione gave Harry a reassuring smile when he turned back at the door, behind which he disappeared. She sighed, not wanting to face Severus alone, not after the embarrassment. _He had seen me crying and heart-broken. That's just great._

Severus scrutinized the shifting Griffindor in front of him. _She is not looking up,_ he thought, _last night she did after blasting my room apart..._ the chamber was completely silent now, save for the shallow breath of Hermione. The two of them stayed there, lost in their own thoughts. 

"I am-" Hermione began shakily, but Severus interrupted her apology. 

"Look, I don't care what happened between you and Weasley. These things happened often enough starting from fourth year," he snorted, "But never _in_ my classrooms. 200 points will be taken from you and Mr. Weasley. As for detention- you still have plenty of them at hand with me. I will decide what should be done after these. And tonight, same time, same place." 

"Yes sir," she replied in a low voice.

"Tell Mr. Weasley if he wanted to come back to Potions, which is necessary if he wanted to become anything _useful_, come to me with a fifteen-inched written apology."

She nodded and began to leave.

"Wait," Severus called, "Give me the phial."

She didn't question but reached into her robes obediently. He summoned a tall bottle from the cupboards behind him. Filling the small phial she handed him, he wondered fleetly what was he doing. The silence continued. 

He handed her a full bottle and she muttered a 'thanks'.

"Try not drink that too often," he said emotionlessly, "control your temper."

She nodded again and without another word she left the dungeons.

----------

_The battle is raging--_

_From the beginning, generals bit back tears and fight_

_Falling madly in love, should be something similar_

To her dismay, Hermione found herself not able to concentrate during lessons. Ron hadn't showed up in any of them, but his words echoing in her mind was enough to drive her insane. Lavender and Harry hadn't say anything to her but stayed with her, silently supporting, to which she was grateful. She needed to think things over.

*...I can't believe you like some kind of stuck-up fool twenty years older than you...*

_No. _A small voice from the back of her mind retorted. _He is not a fool, and what does age means anyway. I don't care-_

*Look, if you haven't noticed yet, the chance of he ever noticing you is like slimmer than impossible, so why can't you- just get real? I know you don't like your potions grade, but sleeping with him won't raise that to an 'O'...*

_Oh that's just cruel Ron,_ the voice sounded hurt, _that's just so cruel. We've known each other for five years, and still you don't understand grades aren't everything to me._

*Oh? Then why would you fancy an old bat of a man? You are never exactly close to him are you? So why the sudden crush? You only liked him because of his looks- though why his looks appeal to you is beyond me- and a Slytherin, too.*

_I don't only like him because of his looks! _the voice defended, _but you've got a point... I am not exactly close to him. So what? I will find out about him today..._

*Are you blind or are you imbecile? He is twenty years older than you, and we both know he would _never_ return whatever you feel for him!*

_I am not blind, I am not imbecile, and oh Ron it would hurt you if you know how much I understand the last part-_

*You are only evading the obvious...*

_Really Ron, let's pretend that I am already painfully aware of the obvious, and you don't need to rub it in._

*You are only evading the obvious...You are only evading the obvious...*

"Miss Granger? Miss Granger?"

"Agrhh!" Hermione snapped back to reality. She was in the same corridor outside the Transfiguration classroom, how she got there she had no idea, and both her friends were nowhere in sight.

"Are you alright?" The voice was stern and familiar. Hermione looked up and saw it belonged to none other than the head of her house.

"I am- sorry-" she stammered.

"I need to talk to you," Professor McGonagall said. "Come into my office."

The two witches entered McGonagall's office. Hermione glanced at her watch and was startled to see that it was almost six. _Oh Merlin, the plan._

"Miss Granger?" the older witch inquired, looking closely at her brightest student. The girl seemed distracted lately, she noted.

"O- oh," Hermione snapped her head up, "What is that you need to talk about professor?"

"Yes," McGonagall said in her usual stern voice. "I was informed that 250 points were taken from Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley and _you_, Miss Granger. Would you please enlighten me how on earth you three lost all these points? From two prefects, too!"

Hermione closed her eyes and sighed. Now she had to go over the whole thing again, as if she hadn't tortured herself enough.

"And what is this news that Mr. Weasley ran away from Professor Snape's class?" McGonagall demanded but noticing the younger witch's uneasiness. 

"It's all my fault," opening her eyes, Hermione replied quietly. "If it wasn't for my foolishness all this wouldn't have happened." Unable to stop the tears threatening to flow, she lowered her head, but McGonagall didn't miss that.

"What is it Hermione?" McGonagall asked kindly, motherly, dropping her strict tone.

She didn't want to answer, no, but she was too exhausted to hold back her tongue and tears. Feeling vulnerable and weak, she poured her heart out nevertheless. McGonagall didn't interrupt but listened to the sobbing girl attentively.

After half an hour of sobbing, Hermione felt her throat very dry and was grateful for her professor's glass of water. She wiped her swollen eyes and looked up for the first time in thirty minutes. "I am sorry, I didn't mean to tell any of this-"

"It's okay," McGonagall smiled, to Hermione's surprise. "It's okay to like Professor Snape, though why would you- ah, but I am not to judge."

Hermione had imagined anger or confusion from her mentor, but appreciated her understanding very much. She smiled back.

"This had happened before," McGonagall continued, recalling her past. "Students had liked teachers before, and vice versa. Not many of them ended up together, but some succeeded..." her voice trailed off and Hermione wondered who she was talking about.

"But that's not the point," the older Griffindor said abruptly, and looked back at Hermione. "You have my support Miss Granger, as long as you follow the school rules- no, there is not a rule on student-teacher relationships," she added seeing the girl's worry.

Hermione stuck her tongue out guiltily at the floor but McGonagall didn't see. She hadn't tell her professor that the current plan she had in mind would probably break school rules.

"-you need, is a badge," McGonagall said and Hermione quickly focused. The older witch pulled out her wand and waved at the prefect badge Hermione pinned on her robes. A sliver spark enveloped the badge before disappearing. "There."

"What does this spell do?" Hermione asked, curious at her teacher's satisfied smile. She fingered the badge- it didn't feel any different to her.

"Now Professor Snape can't take points from you as long as this is pinned on." McGonagall fought back a chuckle thinking of her colleague's face when he couldn't deduct points from a Griffindor. 

Hermione gaped at the other witch, then at her badge. _Am I dreaming, or is Professor McGonagall really helping me with my- er- crush?_

"Don't look at me like that," McGonagall forced down another chuckle seeing the girl's face. "I am merely preventing Griffindor from ending up with negative points, which is bound to happen unless I miscalculated Professor Snape's reaction to all your- _advances._ You are acting, right? Or are you sitting back and wait?" She was suddenly severe.

"I am acting," grinned Hermione brightly, and McGonagall returned it.

"I must warn you though, the badge doesn't stop him giving you detentions, though I suspect you wouldn't mind that." She grinned wider as Hermione blushed. She then handed her a note. "Give this to Professor Snape, and off you go! It's almost dinner time."

Hermione took the note, looked at her watch and panicked. "Thank you Professor," she said and ran out of the office.

Professor McGonagall watched as her student exited and smiled thinking of her own school days.

---------- 

_Lend me a breath and I would now gladly be martyred by love_

_Is it all a poisoning fraud or deep deep sweetness _

_How am I to know if I won't take it?_

Hermione busted into the Great Hall and ran to her seat. Her friends looked up, alarmed.

"No time!" She said and shoved food into her mouth. Harry gawked at the girl who was always reminding him about table manners tucking into the food ravenously. 

"Slower!" Ginny advised from across the table and kicked her boyfriend under the table. Neville got the clue and nodded frantically in agreement.

"I am late for detention," Hermione explained between swallows of potato mash. 

"Why did you come in late in the first place?" Harry asked, "It's almost ten to eight already."

"Secret." She answered and almost choked on a piece of steak. Neville handed her a goblet of pumpkin juice.

"Thanks!" She swallowed it in two gulps and stood up. "See you guys later!" Then she ran out of the Great Hall in the same whirlwind-like way she rushed in.

The Griffindor table goggled at their prefect.

----------

_Everyone knows I have a fiery temper _

_Recklessly plunging into life, minding no manner_

_If I've resolved to be with you_

_I don't really care whatever I'd have to give up_

_If this feeling needs obstinacy, I will do what I have to_

Severus eyed the plate lying on his desk suspiciously. On the plate was a piece of, _steak?_ He was not sure, but that piece of _thing_ resembled greatly of charcoal. He picked up a fork and poked it discreetly. It was hard as rock. He slowly lowered his head and sniffed it- it smelt like some potion that had gone terribly wrong, he thought. Even the gravy didn't look right, it was a deep orange liquid reminding him strongly of Stinksap. 

_Is this sent by one of the many students nursing a grudge against me? _He mused._ But surely if they wanted to poison me they would at least try to make this appealing. I mean, why would anyone in their right mind eat this?_

"Adely!" He called. _Maybe this is just another new dish the house-elves are trying. The mousse last time didn't look appetizing either, but it tasted quite nice- before I knew that it was made of mud... _

"Sir!" A high squeaky voice interrupted his thoughts. A small house-elf had appeared on his desk. "Ye called Adely, sir?"

"What is this?" He cut straight to the point, pointing to the plate of 'steak' next to the tiny elf. Dumbledore had made him promised to have supper every night, and Adely was the house-elf responsible for this.

Adely trembled at the sight of the dish, and started to hit herself on the head with her tiny fists. "Bad Adely, wrong Adely!"

Severus tapped his foot impatiently and grabbed her fists. "Tell me, is this cooked by you, or are some students attempting to poison me again?"

"It's not make by Adely," the house-elf stuttered.

"Who then? Who sent me this?" He demanded harshly. That's why I hated dealing with house-elves, he thought darkly.

"Can't tell, bad, bad Adely! Can't tell sir!"

Severus rolled his eyes and was about to say something when someone knocked.

"Throw that away and bring me something decent," he ordered. The elf brightened upon an order, and dissipated together with the plate.

----------

_Sprint with all my might is the only thing I can do_

_Now I'm on the field_

_Biting on my lip, I set off in my wedding gown_

_Be with you the rest of my life..._

Hermione knocked again. Someone was talking inside the dungeon. She leaned closer to the door when suddenly, it opened.

"Oh!" She straightened up, her face quickly reddening.

Severus glared at the girl who nearly stumbled into him. He pursed his lips but walked back into the dungeon. She followed and closed the door behind her.

_Get to know him, get to know him today..._ she remembered the promise she made to herself earlier that day. Standing in the middle of the room, she shifted under his cold eyes. _I do not like him only because of his looks..._

She looked up at the stone ceiling as if asking for divine assistance, then into his eyes. She fought to keep her voice from shaking, and smiled.

"So, have you eaten yet, sir?"

----------

A/N: *hem hem* So how do you like it? This is the longest chapter I've made, but I want all of you to think this deserves the wait! Had I confused you? Or do you like the suspense? And did you cry when reading this? I almost did writing it. Please tell me what you think by REVIEWING! And my other stories- 'the Visit' and 'Is a young Snape a good thing?' More Sevvie ensured!


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: This is not mine. This is not mine. This is not mine. Remember it, geez!

A/N: Hello! I know I haven't kept my promise... but sadly, my life doesn't include reading and writing only! I've got to go to a camp, and I got sick, and tomorrow I'd receive the most important report card in my life...so, hahahaha...

*audience shake head and taunt, 'excuses, excuses'*

...heh, heh...Sorry for not updating earlier...*brightens up* but this is the longest chapter yet! It is _very _long! So... it's worth the wait. To a lighter topic- There's only a word to describe you guys...

*audience shout random words like 'brilliant', 'pretty', 'rock', 'lovely', 'cute'...*

Ok, ok I get the idea. There are _many_ words that can describe you, but the one I had in mind is- WHOA! 20 reviews a chapter! I can never thank you enough!

**MoonFlowerLain: **Neat way! I am just curious, that's all... lovely to know a new reader!

**sarah: **It's strange, I know... I AM strange...hehe.

**Noriko M. Chijinu: **Hey you changed your name! Something to do with the new policy of ff.net? Anyway, I am not telling about the steak now... you've to read to know! *wink* Don't ya just hate authors when they say this?

** Asmodon: **Sorry I didn't update quickly... I tried!

**Ezmerelda: **I should be the one thanking you for reviewing! As for the cooking thing, I am not giving too much away now... hehe!

**evilbon32: **For your long review I'm going to give you a long reply. Yes, I hope ya don't hate Ron too much... if my crush go on liking Snape I'd do something worse! So yeah... and he would change, eventually, I think...Hmmm... As for Umbridge... SHE IS ONE BIG UGLY EVIL TOAD!!! I hate her!!! Grrr... She'd make a presence in this chapter...hope you won't throw your computer across the room becoz of this! *wink* Enjoy this chapter as well!

**shiroiryu144: **HG/SS ALL THE WAY! Sorry, I just had to do that... *sheepish grin* HP/DM is okay too... in fact the first fanfic I read is that ship... anyway, please keep reading!

**crazy2: **Hello back! *waves* Here's more!

**VampireHunter2: **Thx for adding me to your fav list! *blushes* Ya guys are flattering me...

**Lady Boo: **I wrote this deep at night too! Insomnia is evil! And oh thanks! That's so flattering! Hehehe... *silly grin* Hope you enjoy this as well!

**reader: **Yeah, since Hermione developed a crush on Sevvie her life is nothing but trouble! Lol. Thx and keep reading!

**Kashii: **Thank you!

**Kryptonite:** Yeah, so now Hermy can have detentions without points taken away! YAY!

**kat-tak:** It's fun to think up things for her to do as well! Hope you like this chapter!

**Lily of the Shadow:** Sorry for not updating earlier, thanks for reviewing!

**VampireHunter278: **Oh that's so flattering... I think I am gonna blush. *blushes* Glad you like the story!

***Elentari*: **Yeah! Don't you just want to see what happens if he actually eat that?! Haha, great fun thinking up his reactions... but I am not giving it away now! Please keep on reading!

** Claire Bear Blondie: **Thankies! I hope you like this chapter as well...

**Real-fan05: **Hahahaha! Finally someone who loves root beer like me! ROOT BEER RULES! Ok not really... here's the new chapter! :D

**Teri: **Glad you like it... keep on liking it! *wink*

Yeah! Hope this chapter got as much review... now, the moment you've been waiting for: "ON WITH THE STORY!"

----------

"So, have you eaten yet, sir?"

Severus glared at the brown-haired Griffindor in front of him. _There she is, smiling at me again._ The girl had more Griffindorish, aka dumb rash bravery in her than he thought. No one ask him questions during detentions. _She just can't keep her mouth to herself, _he mentally snorted, and replied in his patented talk-back-and-die silky tone.

"How does 50 more points taken sound to you, Miss Granger?"

"I'm just being courteous," Hermione frowned, but brightened remembering McGonagall's spell and her new-and-improved prefect badge. She took out the piece of parchment the said older witch gave her earlier and handed it to Severus. "Professor McGonagall asked me to give you this."

Severus took over the piece of paper and unrolled it. It was a short note.

_Severus,_

_ As you may have noticed, Miss Hermione Granger's state of emotion is rather unstable in the past few days. She is a prefect and thus a role model   
for our younger students, and her breaking down would do more harm to them than anything else, not to mention her health and studies would be  
greatly affected. For all these reasons she is now exempted from points taken from her, though detentions are still effective. Albus will be notified  
of this and will most certainly second my decision._

_ Yours,  
Minerva McGonagall_

_ P.S. Staff meeting Thursday night, eight o'clock, be punctual. No more headaches or similarly lame excuses, please._

Severus ground his teeth and crushed the note in his grip. That Minerva, always using her relationship with Albus to her and Griffindor's advantage. He peered down at Granger and wondered whether she knew about what was said in the note. _Unstable emotional state?_ He snorted again, fragile was just not the word he could associate with Hermione Granger, not even when she had cried in his classroom.

Hermione observed her Potions professor curiously. She saw frustration, despise and suspicion flashed across his face, and wondered what was in the note. 

"So you're unstable... because of what? Weasley?" He sneered.

"I don't know what are you talking about, sir," Hermione said, her face confused and innocent.

"Don't think you can use this to your advantage, I have plenty of ways to punish a student other than taking points," he continued, knowing that it was not completely the truth. He had always preferred taking points to detentions, simply because he hated thinking up work for those idiots who called themselves students to do. He also enjoyed the peaceful solitude in the dungeons after dinner. 

"Oh," Hermione replied, not understanding much, but knew it had something to do with her no-points-taken status. She smiled. "Should we start our detention, sir?"

"It's _your_ detention," Severus grumbled, and they started to work.

----------

It was a week later, and apparently his warning was as good as gone down the drain- Hermione hadn't took it very seriously and was indeed taking every advantage she could from her special status. And it seemed that his scowls, frowns, threats, snarls, glowers and many other menacing acts he prided himself for had lost their intimidating effects- on her, at least.

_I'd drink another potion Longbottom brew if her emotional state is unstable, _Severus thought one night, _she looks perfectly happy to me._ Glaring at the girl who was buzzing around the dungeon cleaning the shelves for the second time of the week, he remembered darkly that he was slowly running out of chores for her.

Hermione looked over her shoulder at him- an act she did so often now it was as natural as breathing- and saw that he was staring at her with a deep frown on his face. She blushed a little and didn't notice that he was not really looking at her. She turned back to the shelves, then asked sweetly, "Say, professor, what are your favorite colors?" 

_There she goes again, popping stupid questions at me and sticking her nose into my personal affairs, _he thought angrily. _But damn my conscience I had to believe that note. _

"Black, silver and green," he sighed tiredly, "is it that hard to guess?" All he wanted was to shout 'This is hardly any of your business, a million points from Griffindor' at her and get back his quiet evening. But no. He didn't dare to trigger her 'unstable emotional state' and cause her mental breakdown. The Slytherin side of him reminded him constantly to play safe. He hated that nagging voice back in his mind. And Minerva. And Albus.

"No it's not," Hermione chuckled while fighting back a snort. "Mine is red and gold, and ginger too, because Crookshanks is ginger-"

And she was not contented with asking him everything from his family to his favorite potion too, but she had to inform him about herself, to which he really held no interest. Not for the first time of the night, 'Why me' flashed through his mind. He rubbed his temples and interrupted.

"As interesting as your cat may be, can I _please_ finish my work in silence?"

There. Every time he said anything slightly harsh to her- be they in forms of shouts, snarls, whispers, pleas or threats- she would give him _the _look. Her large brown eyes would be filled with questions, her expression confused, and she would bit her lips subconsciously. She would play with her fingers and bit her lips some more before returning to work. Now she was shifting the phials and arranging them in alphabetical order- the way he arranged them. He sighed, picked up his scales and continued measuring his ingredients.

Hermione looked at the cold phials lining neatly in front of her, and sighed. She didn't understand his reactions- she thought it was a light and quite enjoyable conversation. In the past week she had learnt more about him than she ever did, how Potions was his favorite subject (closely followed by Defense Against the Dark Arts), how he preferred owls to cats, how he was allergic to bananas and lilac. She enjoyed his words, enjoyed his attention- although most of the time it was an annoyed one, enjoyed his mere presence. She felt warmth and contentment no one else could provide, and marveled that it was in a dungeon, the least place she had thought, that she found them.

_Didn't he like it as well?_ She doubted miserably, but was at the same time determined not to be let down. She quietly labeled the newly added ingredients, thinking over and over again what had she done wrong.

----------

Another week had passed, and Severus was growing more and more distressed. First, those horrid food hadn't stop coming. Adely would only cry when he inquired about them, and the next day the dish would be on his desk readily. So far he had encountered Yorkshire-muddy-pudding, cheese-overbaked-broccoli, meatballs-jumbled-pasta and many, many more.

Secondly, he had inevitably ran out of things for that annoying Granger to do, and was too lazy to think of something new. He had tried to assign her detentions to other professors but they were too lenient to his liking, so he took up the responsibility again. He was unaware of the fact that he was not much sterner than his colleagues and didn't wish to read much into his reluctance to assign her to Filch. 

His mood grew steadily worse because of the Griffindor's obvious enjoyment in these detentions. She kept asking questions and talking to him in this merry way no student ever used with him. To this he responded by giving her more detentions, which to his disappointment didn't seem to bother the girl much. In fact, she almost looked cheerful to have detentions with him to probably the end of her fifth year. He couldn't help but feel sorry for himself- he was missing his calm, student-free evenings already.

Hermione was indeed very happy to have more detentions. It was good training, she thought, as she no longer flinched at his acid tone or glares anymore- it was in his character, she reckoned, to be horrible to anyone he considered intruding. The more time she spent with him, the more he seemed like a giant puzzle to her, one that piqued her curiosity so badly that she just had to solve it. 

It was also quite amusing to see him fighting to control his temper, but every night she would win and gain herself more detentions. He had tried to assign her to other professors, but it seemed that McGonagall had informed them the truth- at least part of it- that those detentions were more like private lessons. She would finish her homework and extra projects during them, while having light conversations with her professors. Severus soon noticed this and took her back. Not that she was complaining.

"Hermione, you'd be late for your detention if you don't go now," Lavender reminded her friend from her armchair beside the fire. Dean pulled her back onto his lap.

"I know, but my essay-" Hermione flipped through the thick reference book frantically. Her parchment was five inches longer than required, but she was not finished yet.

"Why not take that with you?" Lavender suggested while fending off Dean's hand.

"Great idea," Hermione replied and picked up the book and her essay, then exited the Common Room hurriedly.

"Snape's going to let her finish that in his detention?" Dean asked incredulously.

"You never know," answered Lavender with a wink, and kissed her boyfriend deeply on the lips.

----------

**Bam!** Following the loud bang was a red object rolling in and parchments were flying everywhere. Severus snapped his head up from the assignments he was marking.

"Miss Granger, manners!" He barked at Hermione.

"Sorry," the latter apologized with a small grin, and tucked a wild piece of hair behind her ear. She threw the heavy books onto a desk and began to pick up the scattered parchments.

"What are these?" Severus asked, his eyes narrowing maliciously.

"I- I thought- these are my essays-" Hermione's voice was somewhat muffled under the desk.

"What makes you think I'd let you do _ your_ homework in _ my_ detention?"

"Well..." she straightened up and started carefully. "Since there seem to be nothing important for me to do-"

"I have plenty for you to do!" He would never admit that he really had ran out of detention ideas. "You can scrub the cauldrons!"

"I've done that three days ago, sir."

"Then the floor!"

"I've also done that, and the walls, too. Last Monday."

"Brew some- er-" Rats. She had brewed enough antidotes and burnt salve two nights before. "Dreamless Sleep Potions!"

"Again?!" She asked incredulously. 

The two of them stared at each other. Finally, Severus sighed, "So I've nothing more for you to do in the meantime. That does not mean you can do anything you like."

"Okay," she conceded and sat down. He smirked satisfactorily and turned back to his work. The dungeon fell silent. Hermione placed her face on her arms, which were rested upon the desk, and stared at him. _He is so charming when he works,_ she thought and her lips curled into a dreamy smile. Not for the first time she mentally traced her hand along his features, and imagined how his skin would feel under her touch. _This is not so bad, I can finish my essay tomorrow._

The silence continued to ring in the chamber, and Severus started to feel uneasy. This room was so usually filled by her giggles and small talks at this time of the day that the queer silence now was awkward to his ears, instead of peaceful as he thought it would be. A dismal thought passed his mind, _am I getting used to her company?_ before being pushed away mercilessly. He shook his head, his mind was really killing him these days. No longer concentrating, he looked up and saw Granger staring straightly at him from the other desk. 

"Alright, alright! Do your essay! Just don't bother me," he wanted to shout and threw his hands into the air. Hermione's face lighted up and sat up straight excitedly. Never had Severus seen a student so eager to finish an assignment. He shook his head in amazement and watched her open the brick-sized books. He wanted very much to snort as she unrolled her parchment. It was filled by her minute writing and was clearly longer than required.

"Are fifth years required to write longer than four and a half feet?" He asked conversationally. Hermione looked at him in surprise. No sarcasm, no scathing tone, no acid remarks. It was as if he wanted to talk to her.

"Well, no," she looked down at her essay and let out a chuckle. "I merely thought some background information will help me explain the Mermaid Emancipation in 1874 better."

"Mermaid Emancipation?" He raised an eyebrow. "I thought the History of Magic had deleted that item a few years ago."

"This is an extra project." She explained enthusiastically. "And I am sure this knowledge would come in handy later when I organize the U.P.B.A.H.E.E.P."

"What is _ that_ suppose to stand for?"

"Under-Paid and Badly-Abused House-elves Emancipation Programme. This will be the first attempt only-" and she plunged into a detail explanation of her plan to free the poor house-elves. 

Severus interrupted her rant by a loud chortle. Hermione stopped abruptly and gawked as the sound of his laugh bounced off the dungeon walls. _He is laughing! _She could hardly believe her ears and remembered that in her five years in Hogwarts she had never seen him laugh.

He stopped seeing her expression, and berated himself for letting his guard down, but could do nothing to stop the amusement reaching his eyes. "Miss Granger, I wish not to dampen your hopes, but you will never succeed." She was more naive than he believed if she thought her plan would work, but when her eyes sparkled when she spoke of the house-elves he couldn't help but think that she was cute.

_Cute?_

"- assumed that they don't want freedom, but we never proved it, right?" He caught up just in time to nod, but shook his head again.

"Miss Granger, there are many more things to their 'emancipation', as you call it, than just give them clothes-" And they spent the night arguing over house-elves' freedom.

----------

The more Hermione talked with Severus, the more she was astonished at the man's knowledge. He must read a lot, for he knew something about almost everything. He told her how the Ministry of Magic would never allow house-elves to be free, how many traditional wizard families would oppose these creatures' freedom, how had this topic became a taboo in the wizarding world, and how many problems would arose if they were truly freed. She listened and absorbed all of this, while voicing some of her ideas. By the end of the conversation she began to doubt her plan, but was very happy that they had shared a long talk.

Both of them seemed to read each other's mind and stopped talking at the same time. Severus continued to grade the papers and Hermione tried her best to write down every single thing he had said in the past hour. The room was once again quiet with only noises of quills scratching across parchments. 

Severus was surprised at himself. He was an Occlumens, and blocked his mind from almost everyone. It was most unlikely of him to talk with another person, least a student, for an hour. And over something that is not of his concern, too. But he was even more surprised at Granger. She had more inside her than he wanted to believe. She read a lot and remembered all of them, no matter how trivial they may be. She had analyzed the data and laid out her plan carefully. He was almost sorry to break her dream. 

Moreover, he had never imagined an intriguing dialog between the two of them; but it had happened. He hadn't had a real conversation with someone for a long time, and honestly, it felt good. Her animated gestures, her confident voice, her sometimes childish comments, and above all, her sparkling eyes, almost golden in the dim candle light, ran through his mind once again. That's the effect of having someone close to you for a long period of time- 

_STOP!_ His mind screamed, but it was too late. Painful memories flooded back and he racked his hair with a hand, frustrated.

Opening his eyes and wanting to escape from those memories, he tried to focus on the essay laying before him. _Hermione Granger, _he read the name, and groaned. He looked up and saw the girl had fallen asleep on her desk, books still opened and quill still in hand.

"What time is it already?" He wondered softly, and walked over to the sleeping girl. She looked even younger when asleep. Her hair was frizzy and sticking out in some odd angles as she never brush her hair properly. She was too busy for that. Her eyelashes were not very curly, but it was long and wavering slightly to her breathing rhythm. She was snoring lightly and peacefully, deep in sleep. Severus took away the quill from her hand, took off his cloak and placed it gently around her. She stirred but didn't wake up.

Severus sat back into his seat and started to read her essay. It was six inches longer than what he asked for. Her writing was tiny, as usual, and the essay was near perfect. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, read the essay again and looked over to the soundly asleep Griffindor. She had to serve a detention every night while coping with fifth year's heavy workload _and_ extra projects, no wonder she was so exhausted. He thought for a moment, then in his spiky writing he scribbled a large black 'O' on her paper.

----------

"Mmmm..." a bushy head stirred uncomfortably on the desk. She sat up groggily and for a second didn't recognize where she was. It was not her dorm, this she was sure.

"Merlin!" Hermione exclaimed and jerked up, suddenly wide awake. A black cloak fell to the ground. "What the-?" She picked it up and felt the soft fabric in her hand. Looking around, she discovered that the room was deserted and dimly lit by a small wad of wax that was once a candle. She hugged the cloak closer. It was his. 

His cloak. She took a deep breath in it and inhaled something of a mix between herbs and cool rain. So this is how he smell, she thought, and dug her nose in it once more. The tender fabric rustled under her skin. It was not a dream. 

She pulled away from the cloak and something about it caught her eye. It was a firm belief of every student in Hogwarts that their Potion Master's wardrobe was entirely black. Therefore, no one ever pay much attention to his clothes, including his cloak. It was jet black unexceptionally, and it produced great belittling effects when billowing after Severus. However, upon closer inspection, Hermione could see that there were small smudges, spill marks and evidence of burnt, though most were carefully concealed. It was hardly surprising, he worked with cauldrons and clumsy students all the time, after all. 

_Hadn't he another cloak? Why didn't he dispose this old one?_ She thought mystified, and pulled out her wand. Tapping the cloak, she muttered an easy renewing spell. The piece of clothing immediately transformed into something fit for showing in Vico Martin's- best place for designer wizard clothing- display window. She smiled contently, folded the cloak neatly on the desk and left the dungeon.

----------

"Wow, an 'O'?!" Parvati exclaimed unbelievingly looking over at Hermione's paper.

"Snape gave an 'O'?" Harry bent over to look. "Mine's a 'P'."

Hermione was in shock herself. She blinked at the black, spider-like O with mouth hanging open, speechless. An 'O'? What had she did to get an 'O'? Slowly, she cracked a small grin. Finally he had given her his approval, one that she fought so hard to gain in the past five years.

"Miss Granger, come and see me," Severus called coldly from the front of the dungeon. Hermione nodded happily. _He has changed!_ She didn't dare to take full credit, but last night's conversation must have some kind of effect on him if he gave her an 'O'. _Does that count as some kind of success?_

"I wonder what has she done to get an 'O'," Malfoy whispered sourly behind her back. "Compliment Snape's hair?" Some Slytherins snickered furtively, and to her great depression she could hear a familiar sound too.

"Maybe she slept with him," Ron muttered but the Slytherins heard him. Hermione didn't turn back to see their reaction. Ron could be as hurting as any Slytherin, this she knew from the first year they met, but never imagined the day he used it against her. She closed her eyes and walked to Severus' desk while the other students filed out of the dungeon. 

Standing directly in front of him, she quickly noted that he hadn't change his cloak back, it looked sleek and brand new.

"What is the meaning of this?" Severus asked icily, following her gaze and fingered his cloak. Hermione winced at his tone. The malice was back in his tone, it was so different from the one he used last night. His eyes were glittering angrily.

"I saw that it was, er, not in top condition so, I, er, used a renewal spell," she stammered. It didn't look like a good idea anymore, but she couldn't understand why was he angry.

"Meddlesome Griffindor! Had anyone ever tell you how annoying you are?" He snarled and her confusion turned into anger.

"Well sorry if I helped!" She shouted back before she could stop herself.

"_Helped?_ " His glowered at the girl intensely like a hungry eagle. "Care to _ask_ before you _help_ next time, please. Did you stop to think a second before hexing my cloak that I can handle a simple renewal spell myself, IF I _ REALLY_ NEED ONE?!"

Looking at the color draining from her face, Severus felt a mixture of grim satisfaction and frustration of feeling guilty. He lowered his voice into a waspish whisper, "You've earned yourself a detention with_ Professor Umbridge_ tonight, now, out!"

Her lips trembled and her large eyes swam with tears, but she retreated with her head high. It was only when she was completely out of Severus' sight she broke down and cried until her chest heaved dangerously. She hiccupped and sobbed with a thousand thoughts flashing across her mind. She was so foolish to think he had changed! He hadn't change a bit. How can she be so naive? He probably think their conversation was boring.

_How can I be so wrapped up in my own fantasy? Ron's right, he will never think twice about me, and oh I even thought I had succeeded...what had I done wrong? I am just trying to care...just trying to love him..._

Still sobbing, she sneaked back into her dorm, careful not to be seen by anyone. Wrapping the blankets around herself, she felt a fresh round of tears ready to flow. Crookshanks snuggled at her ankle and she drifted off to sleep.

---------- 

Severus sat in his office and stared blankly at the parchment before him that he was supposed to be marking. Putting his face into his hands, Granger's pale face with round tearing eyes appeared in front of his eyes again. He groaned deeply. She just wouldn't leave him alone. 

Her confusion, her anger, her melancholy... all caused by his piercing words. He was not known for controlling temper, and he blamed her for his outburst. If it wasn't her being so presumptuous, he would never have raged like that. _So, it was all her fault. _He concluded.

_She's just being nice, you ungrateful piece of crap, _his stupid conscience defended her heatedly.

_Oh yeah? Since when is anyone nice to me? _He retorted and locked the voice into a barred box. Since never, that's since when. Few people treated him civilly when he was young, and they did now only out of fear. He snorted, he had no use of goodness. That didn't exist anymore, not in his world, anyway. He picked up the hem of his cloak, and played it between his two slender fingers. It was still so soft. 

His mind wandered involuntarily back to his seventh year, the year that was filled with feelings, the year that he lived and died...the year he discovered something so alien, so unfamiliar...happiness. He had few happy memories, but all of them included a certain person...

A shadow began to materialize in his head, the shadow that haunted him so many nights, the shadow that he kept safely at bay by working himself to exhaustion everyday in those years-

_NOOOO! _The voice screamed from its box. Severus cringed silently at the pain... it was like those nightmares were coming back, the heartache rushing for him to experience all over again. _Stop! Stop! Stop!_

He shot up abruptly. Glancing at his pocket watch, he was shock to find that it was almost eight thirty. He swept into the adjoining dungeon. With only one glance he knew what was wrong. The desk was empty. No sticky meals tonight.

"Adely!" He called like he did every night in the past fortnight. The elf obediently appeared on the desk and bowed. 

"Sir wants Adely?"

Severus raised a pointed eyebrow at the house-elf. She saw it and bowed again.

"Adely will bring Sir his supper." Then with a small 'crack' she vanished into thin air.

He sighed, this scene had replayed every night it was almost a part of his life now. He would call the elf, she would come and take away the dish, then bring him some proper food. He marveled at the persistency of the student who cooked him those food- this was the first night in two weeks that they hadn't appear- but swore at the same time that the day he caught him it would be a dark day.

He sat down and looked around the dungeon which was filled with children in the morning. It now looked very empty with only lonely chairs and desks sitting still. The loud, unpleasant silence was back and it ringed frustratingly in his ears. Something was missing.

Granger. His lips curled into an angry thin line as the realization hit him. She was not by the cauldron, stirring, looking bored. She was not sitting on the stone floor, twisting the towel until her hands were red. Her frizzy hair was not swaying annoyingly in front of his desk. She was not giggling beside the shelves. The dungeon seemed colder tonight, and Severus sank lower into his seat. She was not here because of her own fault. 

_She is not here because of you_ _clever guy,_ that voice pointed out icily in an exact imitation of his own.

_Keep talking and you will never live to see the sky again,_ he mentally kicked the box. It was nice to be alone, he decided, _I can finally sulk in peace now._

He ate his supper in silence, and graded some third year's paper (which in his opinion was rubbish). He slid into his private chambers, took a book and sank into a plushy armchair. The fire was dancing in the fireplace, blissfully cracking the logs. He started to read.

Ten o'clock.

Eleven o'clock.

When the hands on his watch met each other, indicating midnight, he stood up, admitting defeat. He hadn't read so much as a page. He threw on the cloak Granger renewed, and slipped out of the dungeon. 

----------

He didn't know what was he doing, for he wasn't in the mood to prowl the halls tonight. He caught some Ravenclaws sneaking near the dungeons, but that was all he found. He strode quietly like a giant bat across the corridors and was about to return when he saw light seeping through Umbridge's office. Why had he got there he wished not to know.

Surely she had finished her detention? It was way past curfew. His brows furrowed at the thought, and he approached the room.

"-not enough, child. I think you need to remember your lesson, and think before you choose who to support-" A sickly sweet voice said.

Severus grimaced at it. That toad of a woman. He knocked on the door and without waiting for a reply, he pushed it open.

Umbridge was sitting across Hermione, who was writing with a pointy black quill. Her face was flushed with anger and pain, her lower lip harshly bitten. Severus stared at the quill. It looked very familiar...

"Why, what a pleasant visit Severus!" Umbridge broke into a big smile and motioned for him to come in.

"It is indeed," he replied in a great imitation of courtesy, but stood resolutely at the door. "I needed Miss Granger to help me with some potion, is it okay with you if I-"

"Sure," the ugly professor cracked another grin at her colleague, then to Hermione, "Go on child, remember what you've learnt!"

Hermione stood up and winced, then rushed pass Severus. He nodded coldly to Umbridge. "Goodnight, Dolores." With that he turned and walked back into the dark.

The two of them walked in silence along the hallways. The moon gently spread its light across their path. _She was biting her lip again._ Severus noted, and strongly suspected she was hiding something from him. He scowled at her face which was next to transparent under the silver light, but didn't say anything. He led her back to his dungeons.

Hermione's heart throbbed at the sight of him, the man who had caused her misery just hours ago. Had he forgiven her? Why had he come over to save her? She bit her lip and crushed the thought, better not to get her hopes up. The pain in her heart was ignored in the past hours because of the one on her hand, but she could feel it bleeding again. 

----------

Once in the dungeon Hermione stood next to the farthest desk from him, her eyes fixed on the floor. Severus sat in his usual seat, leant back, and ordered, "Come here."

She didn't move.

"Come here!" He lost his patience. This girl was the most impossible he had seen in his whole teaching life. She reluctantly inched towards him, her eyes still averting his.

Severus rubbed his temple wearily and glared at the girl in front of him. She had her hand hiding behind her back. He narrowed his eyes.

"What have you got there?" 

"No- nothing," she subconsciously clenched her hands together tighter.

"Show me your hand," he ordered chilly. He was exhausted and was starting to regret his actions. 

"Look, let's make this easier for both of us, show me your hand," he repeated when she didn't move an inch. "_Please._"

She didn't want him to see the scar, it was stinging painfully on the back of her right hand and she knew it was ugly, but she had no choice. Slowly she pulled her hand and placed it on the desk, her gaze stubbornly on the floor.

He stared at the scar, which was evidence that something had cut deep into her hand, leaving a long, angrily red mark behind. 

Hermione was startled to feel something on her hand. She looked up and into his eyes. He was tracing a finger across the scar with an emotionless face.

"Does it hurt?" His voice was barely above a whisper. Hermione flinched at it.

"Not really," she whispered back, wanting to take back her hand but decided against it. She could feel herself going red in the face.

He knew she was lying. No matter how unconcerned he looked, he couldn't keep the emotions from his voice. The scar stared back at him bluntly, and a surge of hatred and guilt passed him when he touched it. It felt strange to feel so many at the same time. He didn't feel much usually, and he was not prepared to change that. He let go of her hand suddenly, then walked away. When he came back, he had a porcelain dish with him.

"Soak your hand in this," he instructed, not showing anything in his icy voice this time. Hermione obliged and felt a comfortable relief at her hand as she soaked it into the yellowish liquid. _It was Murtlap essence._

It was a strange scene, him sitting there watching her, as she stood, feeling very stupid with a hand in some yellow goo. 

"I am sorry, sir, about your cloak," she broke the moment of silence by an apology. He waved a dismissive hand.

"Apology accepted," he said, standing up. "Come, I will walk you back to your dorm. Take that with you."

----------

September spanned easily into October without anyone noticing as their workload grew even heavier. The Great Hall seemed grimmer as the enchanted ceiling was gray with layers upon layers of thick rain clouds. The wind became colder and harsher, and students began to change into their thicker robes. 

Hermione hardly noticed the change in weather. Unlike Ron and Harry, she spent most of her time indoors reading, doing homework and serving detentions. She and Severus shared a few more debates in the weeks, some of them very heated, but interesting nonetheless. He appeared to be more civil to her, and the times she received detentions lowered from one per day to one every three days, which she took as a good sign- though she enjoyed his company her studies were starting to get to her. The detentions now were more like private lessons, though she still had to scrub the dungeon occasionally, she got to brew some potion beyond OWL syllabus. She carefully hid her glee, afraid that he would deprive her from this privilege.

However, was her life complete? Far from it. Ron was getting nastier. He spread rumors to anyone who cared to listen that Hermione was a 'nymphomaniac' and hinted how she had 'got her good grades'. Harry had talked to him but he bluntly refused to listen. Therefore Hermione was grateful that the Quidditch season was about to begin- that ought to take his mind off her for a while. Lavender and Ginny were also great listeners, from whom she took great relief. Her soul still cringed sometimes thinking about Ron, but it was getting better. 

"Ack-choo!" Hermione sneezed into her handkerchief. 

"Bless you!" Several Griffindors next to her chimed. She smiled at them, but felt another sneeze coming up. 

"Ackkkkk-chooo-! Merlin, when is this going to stop?" She complained. "My nose is all red already." 

"You'd better go and see Madam Pomfrey," Neville suggested, "She's got some really good meds." 

"Yeah, we'd have Care for Magical Creatures later, your cold would only get worse outdoors," Harry said helpfully. The others nodded in agreement. 

Hermione looked around at her classmates and felt very warm. "Thanks, but I'm okay. I don't want to bother Madam Pomfrey with every little bug I catch. Merlin knows that happens only too often." She smiled reassuringly at them and continued with her lunch. 

However, by the time she had finished her last lesson, she was feeling anything but okay. She berated herself for not putting on a scarf during Care for Magical Creatures- as Harry had said, the wind was fiercer than usual and bit into every inch of exposed skin. Fortunately, her asthma hadn't attacked. 

"You don't look so good," Lavender said, feeling her friend's face. 

"What do you mean, I don't look so good?" Hermione mocked an indignant tone, but seeing that Lavender was truly worried, she added more seriously, "I'm fine Lav, really I am. But I'll go and see Madam Pomfrey after my detention, okay?" 

"You're still going to your detention?" 

"Yeah, can't miss!" Hermione winked and took off. Lavender shook her head at the back of the girl, but threw back her head and laughed. 

---------- 

Severus glanced at the girl standing in front of the silver cauldron. She was slipping two dragonfly wings into it. Was it the steam? She looked redder in the face than usual. She was also uncharacteristically quiet tonight. He shrugged away the thought and focused on his own cauldron.

Hermione swallowed another cough. She didn't want to give him the impression that she was sick- though she was, she knew that clearly. Her head was getting lighter by the minute, her hands were cold despite her closeness to a fire. Her vision blurred and her throat was tight. She couldn't think straight as well- was it three beetle eyes needed or was it four? She tried to remember but to no avail. Frustrated, she emptied the entire vial into the stammering cauldron.

Severus watched in shock as the girl grabbed _his_ vial of unicorn tears and _emptied_ it into her cauldron. It took exactly two seconds for him to take it in.

"That is VERY expensive!" He thundered across the desk and marched over to her. She didn't seem to notice.

He peered down at the girl. "Look up at me when I'm talking to you!" When she didn't, he grabbed her shoulder roughly and wanted to shake her. To his terror, she almost collapsed the second he touched her. He caught her and without removing his hand, he knelt down until they were eye-level.

Hermione felt like her head was swimming. Her legs turned into jelly and she swayed. _Hmmm, I must be dreaming_, she thought as his face came into her sight. _I must be, because I'm seeing him again._

Severus gaped at the girl as her lips curled into a smile in slow motion. Her eyes were not focusing and her face was very red. _No steam would have caused this,_ he thought and felt her face with the back of his hand. It was burning. He withdrew his hand hastily and watched a drop of big sweat rolled down her forehead.

"You've fever!" He accused angrily. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Hot." was her reply.

He stood up and ran a hand into his greasy hair. Why must all bad things happen to him? He stared at the top of her bushy head. What now? He could carry her to her dorm- no. The thought of that ridiculous Griffindor girl's dorm stairs sent him a shiver up the spine. The least he needed now was to be found lying at the bottom of a Griffindor staircase. 

He made up his mind, and put her into the nearest seat. "Stay," he ordered and went back into his office.

When he came back Hermione was slumped in the chair, her head tilted to a side. He approached her and gave her a phial of clear red potion.

"This pretty," she said happily as she took over the container. He rolled his eyes.

"That's not pretty, that's for you to drink."

"Ohhh," she cooed and drank it, then grimaced at the taste. "It's pretty, but it stinks."

He suppressed the urge to roll eyes again, and picked her up easily. She was not small, but not big either- just fit perfectly in his arms. The thought that she was just a little girl occurred to him suddenly. He had looked past her age so easily, maybe because she knew so much and always looked strong.

_Or maybe she just talked too much,_ he smirked and looked down at the girl. She was so quiet when she was sick.

_Mmmm, the smell of mixed herbs and rain,_ she felt so safe in this man's arms. _He smelt very familiar..._

"I like you," she announced to him.

"No you don't," he said swiftly. This girl was also very strange when she was sick.

"I like you," she repeated stubbornly, and cuddled closer to him. She rubbed her nose into his chest. His cool shirt felt good.

"You are delirious," he said as he tucked her gently under the green covers of his grand four-poster. She fluttered her eyes sleepily- the potion was starting to work. 

"I am not," she protested weakly. He smirked and left the room in a sweep.

When he came back, she was sobbing lowly. Her pink cheeks were streaked with tears and his pillow was soaked. He scowled and walked over to her. If there's anything he hated more than a sick Griffindor, it'd be a _crying _sick Griffindor.

"What's the matter now?" He demanded, but softened as a crystal tear rolled down her cheek and disappeared into his pillow.

She hiccupped and grasped his cloak tightly. He looked at the small hand and sighed. She looked extremely dependent. He could understand why, but that didn't stop him from getting annoyed.

"I am not going anywhere," he said tiredly. "I'm just going to bring in a chair, see?" She didn't let go. He sighed again and _accio_-ed the armchair and a book to the side of the bed. 

She could feel herself wrapped in his scent, the assuring, secure scent. She closed her eyes contently and drifted off to sleep, her hand never letting go of him.

----------

A/N: This chapter has more plot development... it may be less exciting but o no it is necessary! Next chapter will have more excitement... *slams chest* I promise! Now please REVIEW! Just push that little button!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: None of this is mine!!! Are you happy now? ARE YOU??? *poke lawyers* 

A/N: Sorry for the late update, again. But I'd love to inform you some good news...*drum roll* I got 5A3B in my public exam! Isn't that great?! I am the only one to get 29 marks (A for 5, B for 4, C for 3 etc. The best 6 subjects are counted) out of 30 of all art students! YaY! I just have to say this, not to boast but to share my happiness with all of you, cause studying is the most important thing in my life until recently, which changed into writing~ :p 

Also, I just read what I wrote two months ago (becoz I have bad memory and can't remember what was written) and omg my writing was so poor and there were so many mistakes. Small ones here and there... you are only too kind to not flame my grammar. I'd correct them once I've time, which I have little now coz I am admitted to college. Thousands of books to read and essays to write! So expect less frequent updates. I'd make them longer in compensation. Cheer up! 

**Ezmerelda: **Sorry I can't write about the cooking thing yet! I am having so much fun writing clues I am not sure when I'd start to tie the loose ends up. Patience! 

**Kryptonite: **How does _I_ possibly logic out putting her in HIS bed instead of taking her to the hospital wing? Haha, I dunno. There will be some kind of explanation in this chapter, enjoy! 

**Teri: **Good to know that you still like it! 

**Bullwinkle435: **Thank you! Keep on reading! 

**Chocolate Pudding1: **Yay I'm cute! *blushes* *listens*What? Oh, you mean the story? *de-blush* Thank you! I've tried very hard to make the way they interact natural and plausible. Hope you like this chapter as well! 

**Real-fan05: **Thx! It's okay to make mistakes, my story is not perfect! So...*sips Sprite Ice* Great drink as well, have you got that in US or whatever place you reside? I've read somewhere that they only sell that in Canada (apparently wrong coz I'm drinking one here in Hong Kong), pity...*shrugs* 

**MoonFlowerLain: **That overload stuff is so stupid! I hate that so much and congrats for getting over that! Obsessed with Sevvie too? Welcome to the club! 

**Tabii: **Thank you! Here's more! 

**Cecily: **What will happen next... even I dunno! Sevvie and Hermione are pulling me down the unknown road of plot... hope you like this chapter! 

**me: **Fluff? Who says fluff? *looks left and right* I want FLUFF too! Tehehehehe... I have been asked to give and receiving many cherries lately... hmmm... 

**Lagaz: **I wouldn't mind too, ohhh Sevvie... *drools* Great suggestions! I inserted some Neville and Ginny for you, hope you liked it! As for Ron... I'd think about it, thanks! 

**Dana Whelks: **Good you don't think it is going too slow, I am afraid some of you might! I am throwing in too many clues, methinks... 

**Kelly: **Here's more, thank you for the review!

**Queen-Ditz: **I am writing, I am writing! See? *show hand* Geez, my fingers are all thick with callous!! Haha, not really. Please read read read!

**evilbon32: **Don't get me wrong, I loved your long reviews! It's the best praise to a writer's work, writing detailed reviews. I am learning from you and writing longer reviews too. Don't hate Ron too much, for he'd have a bigger part in the story later, though I am not sure how yet. Please continue reading and giving me wonderful reviews!

**Mel: **Thanks for the review!

Thank you for everyone who read this and especially those who take the time to review! Now, get ready for more Sevvie/Hermy action! 

---------- 

Severus turned his head to the left and stirred uncomfortably. With great reluctance he flipped his eyelids open, knowing it was no use to try and sleep some more. He sat up and ruffled his hair which got all greasy again over the night. Sighing, he looked at the curled up frame on his bed. Her fingers were pearly white from gripping his cloak's hem too tightly whole night. He stood up as his bones cracked, and made a note to himself never sleep in a badly-stuffed armchair again.

Carefully removing her fragile hand, he moved into the bathroom. Hermione didn't wake up from the rustling but slid further into the warm covers. However that didn't prevent the cheerful morning ray reaching her face. The sound of running water, soft as it was, disturbed the room. She moaned.

Severus stepped back into the bedroom and squinted slightly as he did. He had conveniently charmed a window on his dungeon bedroom wall, for contrary to common belief, he did love to be waked by a healthy shine of sun. Rubbing his hair with a towel, he adjusted his eyesight and walked to the bed. "Miss Granger?"

She rolled over and moved away from the voice. He kneeled down beside the bed and shook her gently. "Wake up, it's almost seven thirty."

"Mmmm." She turned again, opened her eyes and blearily looked into his. So it was not just a sweet dream; she indeed had slept in his chambers. She smiled weakly, inhaling the fresh scent of his.

"Miss Granger?" He inquired worriedly. Her face was even redder than last night, on which unfocused eyes blinked and a small smile appeared. She did not look much better than eight hours before.

"Hermione," she answered, her voice lower than a whisper. He leant closer to catch her words and frowned at them.

"What about you? How do you feel?"

"That's my name," she said happily, before coughing into the pillow. Now Severus was really perturbed. Without another word he bent down and picked her up in the same manner he did last night. She curled contently in his arms like she belonged there. He swept out of the rooms and in an even more hasty pace than usual, to the Hospital Wing.

----------

"Why was it you that bring her here?" Madam Pomfrey demanded as she busied herself with bottles of potions. "Drink this, dear." In a much warmer tone she instructed the Griffindor, who obliged and drank the same red potion Severus gave her earlier.

Severus thought about making up a story of how he discovered her fainted outside the library this morning, but decided against it. He opened his mouth and closed it. Nothing that qualifies as an excuse good enough for the Healer came to his mind. He opened his mouth again.

Poppy recorded the girl's temperature and made sure she was asleep before looking up at the Head of Slytherin. Pursing her lips, she shooed him out of the ward, drew curtains around the bed and followed him outside.

"Well?" She prompted impatiently.

"I- well," Severus shifted under the gaze of the woman. She could be very scary when it come to patients. "Last night she had a detention with me and she had fever, so I, eh, gave her some potions and let her sleep in my bed-"

"Two questions," Poppy showed two fingers in his face. "First, how _dare_ you give a detention to a sick student? Second, what kind of potions did you give her?"

"I didn't know she was sick, she hadn't exactly tell me, you know," He retorted icily. "As for the potion, it is the same Temperature Remedy you gave her just now. May I remind you that half of your meds are brewed by _me._"

She angrily poked his chest while her nostrils flared up. "May I remind you that _I_ am the resident Healer of this school, not you O Great Master of Potions, and why didn't you bring her to me when she was sick?"

"It was very late and I thought I'd better not bother you-"

"Since when is my infirmary closed at night? Don't you know that students have the annoying tendency to get really sick at three in the morning?" She glowered at his sheepish excuse. Severus folded his arms and shifted to another foot. It was bad enough to say a lame excuse and know it; it was worse when she pointed it out so candidly, like she thought he was the greatest dope in the universe. Frankly, he hadn't quite figured out why had he not bring the girl here immediately but let her slept in his rooms yet, but this he wasn't going to let this woman here know.

"What you did is just stupid Severus," the witch continued but removed her hand from him. "The girl has asthma and even a small flu- as futile as it may seem- can trigger a series of syndromes. She hadn't protect herself very well from the sudden change of weather, yes, but to serve a detention in that damp dungeon of yours every night... how many times have I told you to install a fireplace in your office-"

But he wasn't listening. He was very used to the Healer's nagging and tuned it out automatically. What interested him more was her mentioning of Granger's asthma. "Asthma? As in she couldn't breathe?"

Looking disgruntled being interrupted, she nodded rigidly. "That may very well happen if she continue to let her throat exposed to the cutting wind. She would also faint-"

"What?! I thought she faints because of instable emotional condition?!" He cried.

"She does," the Healer spoke swiftly. Then more sternly, "I want you to have a fireplace in that rat hole of yours, or have her detention elsewhere. You'd better not be responsible for her next stay 'ere, you hear me?"

Severus barely restrained himself from saluting and saying "Yes, Madam".

----------

He had two Eat-me-and-fall-dead-meals- and Granger-free days. It was not as if he couldn't put two and two together, but the rational part of his mind- yes he had released his conscience- refused to accept that a Griffindor, a clever one at that, would do something so stupid: to poison him by food not even the hungriest Basilisk would touch. Moreover, it's not like she hated him or something- if she did she was doing a pretty good job hiding it. She was always courteous around him, if not a bit of a chatterbox, and had constantly shown respect to him.

Shaking his head, Severus put down his quill and know that was all the grading he could do for the meantime. He stood up and stretched, not worried to be seen doing such an inelegant act. The dungeon was solitarily quiet tonight, as it was last night, and the night before that. How he hated his life to be disturbed- although Granger's not here, her presence was pervasively filling the chamber, her smile like an annoying bee, no matter how he swatted it just wouldn't leave him alone.

A large bang tore through his reverie suddenly, he snapped back and automatically put on his expressionless mask. It was a Slytherin seventh year.

"Evening Professor," the girl batted her long, albeit fake-looking eyelashes. 

"Miss Acree?" Severus felt his ear itched upon the purring of the girl, and instinctively rubbed it with his right hand. "What do you want?"

"_Want?_ Hmmm..." Acree raised one thin brow and smiled pointedly at him.

"Yes, what can I help you?" He would have hexed her out of the room already if not of her house. With great strength he suppressed the urge to point out that she did not even take NEWT potions.

"Well, I have no important business," she admitted in a seductive drawl, still batting her eyes madly.

"Is there something wrong with your eyes?" He wanted to know. "Anyway, if there aren't anything important-"

"Can't I just come and see you?" She pouted and Severus mourned for the many boys who were bound to fall for her because of that little gesture.

"No Miss Acree, I'd rather not be bothered," he replied coldly. "Now if you don't mi-"

"But I missed you," Acree took two steps forward until she was almost _on _him and placed her perfectly manicured hands on his chest.

That's it. Not only had she interrupted him twice, she had to touch him. Severus felt a dangerous rage bubbling inside him and through clenched jaws he hissed in a way he usually reserved just for Griffindors, "Twenty points from Slytherin and you've just earned yourself a detention. OUT!" The girl didn't hesitate and glided out, carefully concealing a smile- she had got what she came for.

Severus heaved heavily in the once again quiet dungeon, this job's killing him. Had to ask for a rise in salary first thing tomorrow, he decided, and swept back into the bedroom. The bed was tidily made, leaving no trace of its occupant two nights ago. A fire crackled in the fireplace. He stared into it pensively. For some reason unbeknownst to himself he was feeling restless, despite the peaceful atmosphere enveloping the room. Maybe it was time for a night walk.

Soundlessly he exited the dungeons and followed the routine he was so familiar with: first up to the Great Hall, then turned left to the Grand Staircase. Tonight he chose the East Wing, easily spotting two Griffindor third years. Then up the Owlery, where the only disruption to the silence was an occasional flutter of feathers as a late owl returned. The corridors were deserted as well, and he was about to return when he arrived the hallway leading to the Hospital Wing. Struggling, he walked towards the infirmary and smelt the same nauseating odor of various medicines and potions. Though his feet felt laden to him, his approach was thievishly noiseless. He was about to open the door when voices came out, and his hand stopped just in time on the cool brass doorknob.

"-tired of it-"

"-dear, you have to- good for- well-"

"-no-"

Severus thought he was about to worn out his ear by willing it so hard to listen. From the voices he knew it was Poppy and Granger talking. Very slowly he pushed open the door.

"No I am not taking another sip of that disgusting potion. I wanted to barf at the mere sight of it." It was Hermione's voice. She sounded tired, but not croaky as she did before. Her throat must be feeling better.

"This will be the last vial, I promise," Poppy's voice was mild and mother-like, as it always was when consoling a patient . "How can you get well if you don't take your medicine? Come on, child."

"You said it was the last vial three hours ago," Hermione said in a voice that made Severus wonder whether the flu had turned her into a spoiled kid. "Also, I am feeling pretty well now. I can even get back to my dorm."

"Take it and tomorrow you can go," Poppy bribed.

Severus slipped inside without the two noticing. He walked closer but was careful to hide in the dark corner. Only Hermione's bedside lamp was lighted up and from the shadows on the curtains drawn around her bed he saw that she had drank the potion. 

"Ewww," she spat unceremoniously, grabbing a nearby towel and wiped her face.

"That's my girl," Poppy smiled fondly at the girl who had become a regular visitor of the Hospital Wing. "That's my lioness. Now off you get to Dreamland!"

"Is it true that I can leave tomorrow?" The younger girl asked anxiously. "I missed my lessons and friends."

"We'll see, we'll see." 

Hermione's cheek puffed up as she pouted at the vague answer. "I hate being sick, hate this stupid flu, hate having asthma, hate having to take meds four times a day-"

"That's essential Hermione, remember to take the clear potion in the morning-"

"-and bring the green one with me during the day. Drink once after each meal and before bed. Do not take any muggle pills." Finished Hermione, sighing. "Can't someone just invent a potion so to cure it once and for all?"

"You can, in fact," Severus stepped into the light. Both witches seemed startled to hear another voice. They stopped talking and looked around for the source of interruption.

Poppy came back to herself quicker, "Is there anything I can help, Severus?"

He didn't reply before glancing at Hermione, who cracked a big pure smile at him that seemed to light her face and the entire room up and greedily took in his towering form beside her bed. She couldn't believe how much she had missed him, these two days had been like years. But as quickly as the smile had come she remembered the childish behavior she just acted, the gray plain robes she was in, and the totally unmatched old scarf draping foolishly around her neck. She slid beneath the blanket.

"I am here to give you more of this," he reached into his robes and pulled out a tiny flask, which just happened to be there handily, and he was grateful for an excuse. The Healer took over the flask delightfully and vacated saying she had to store this properly. The room fell quiet as the door 'click'ed behind the witch.

He didn't know what to do, probably leave. He should not have been here in the first place, he thought, and opened his mouth when Hermione beat him to it.

"Don't go." She pleaded. He sighed in defeat inwardly and summoned a chair nearby. Neither talked for a moment, their ears filled only by each other's breathing and in Severus' case, an odd ringing. He was troubled by the bright smile that appeared on the girl's face when he first entered her sight. Since when had she smiled like that when she saw him? She looked genuinely happy to see him. How very absurd, he mused.

"Miss Granger-" he started.

"Hermione," she interjected sweetly.

"What?"

"That's my name. Hermione," she repeated patiently like to a little boy.

"Don't use that tone with me," He warned dangerously, feeling his temper rising. "I know that's your name, but what has it to do with anything?"

"Well, I just thought it's shorter and nicer than 'Miss Granger'," she shrugged like it was the most obvious thing in the world, which in a way was, but he was not going to admit that. It just wasn't like him to call students by their first names, except a few Slytherins.

"Never mind. As I am saying about the potion that can cure your asthma, Miss Granger-"

"Hermione."

He gave her one of his famous glares. Her face was innocent but unafraid. In fact her small smile was still intact. "When's this pointless joke going to stop?"

"Depends on your adopting speed, sir. But seeing that I had started two days ago and still you haven't call me by my given name, this may last for a while," She almost burst out laughing at his expression.

Two days ago? So she remembered what she said two days ago? He thought she was just sick and delirious. Can someone remember what he had said when he was delirious? Unlikely.

"How do you rememb-" he began but at that point Poppy was back and shouted at him ("Why are you still here? How's she s'pose to rest if you are here bothering her?") and he had no choice but leave. Hermione's face fell behind the Healer's back and he caught the look. As he swept down the stairways he recalled what she said in the form of an announcement two days ago.

_I like you._

He groaned as he settled into a comfy armchair beside the fire. There was a lot to ponder and little sleep tonight, this he was sure.

----------

Madam Pomfrey kept her promise and let her go the next morning, much to Hermione's relief, for she feared her body and brain may rot from resting too long. She pulled her hair into a loose ponytail so her face looked bigger and healthier. The school robes felt good on her body, and as she loaded her bag with books she could feel energy pumping into her limbs as well. She was ready to go.

She had no Potions today, but she contented herself by thinking about the detention later. The lessons went by smoothly, save for the Care of Magical Creatures which giant moths were what they were studying today. Nothing, not even the passion for knowledge and love for Hagrid would make her go anywhere near those hideous creatures.

It was a relief to her that she was in no way behind anyone. Her professors praised her work as usual, and she received many points for answering questions correctly. All in all, it should be a pleasant day. There's only one thing to complain about: everyone was treating her like a glass doll, again. In spite of her effort to look lively, her classmates and friends insisted that she had got circles under her eyes. They walked her to classes, monitored her eating, and asked how she was feeling every five seconds. 

"I am _fine!_" She cried exasperatedly in the end when Ginny asked her the same question for the five-billionth time, but regretted when the other girl looked hurt. Neville placed a comforting arm around his girl before looking at Hermione accusingly, "She's just being nice."

"Sorry," she whispered sheepishly. Neville nodded coldly, very uncharacteristic of him, and helped Ginny up. The couple walked out of the Hall, leaving Hermione there feeling very bad. 

---------- 

Neville and Ginny strode along the corridors lined with suits of armors. Suddenly Neville stopped and turned to Ginny. Her cheeks reddened as he looked into her eyes, silently asking.

"You don't need to say that back there," she said serenely, touching his arm and looking back at the boy whom she had called a boyfriend for over a month now. She smiled remembering his stuttering speech at the beginning of the school year. How much he had changed since then- taller, bolder, tougher- for her, she understood. He would never have said that to Hermione, or stood up to Ron for that matter, before.

"I can't stand seeing someone hurt you," he replied, blushing. Still very much the shy boy inside, he sometimes wondered what good had he done that some high-powers up there granted him this understanding girl. A breeze passed by, shaking the torches. Ginny looked even prettier in the flickering light, he thought, and pushed a strand of red hair across her forehead. How much she had changed since his second- her first- year. The timid little girl that once followed Harry around had slowly grown into herself.

"I know," was all that she said. Shivering, she leant closer to his warm body. It was not exactly muscular, but she loved the security that it gave her.

Neville placed a hand around her shoulder and held her awkwardly, feeling and marveling at her small frame against his chest. How he loved the peacefulness when she was near, a feeling so strange to him since childhood. He was not blessed, he used to think, with his parents and next-to-none magic. But now, he was contented. Still holding her, he promised, "I'd apologize tomorrow morning."

She didn't look up or nod. He would understand.

----------

Hermione was not in her best mood as she dragged herself down to the dungeons, angry at Neville for making she feel bad, angry at herself for hurting Ginny, angry at everything. She kicked open the wooden door ungraciously and unloaded her books onto a desk with a loud 'thud'. Fuming, she sat down and though she didn't want to admit it, she was hoping for Severus' consolation. A simple 'what's wrong' would do, she thought.

"Who are you?" A silky purr reached her ears instead. She snapped up and discovered a girl in short green robes checking her from hair to toe. Her temper flared up immediately.

"Hermione Granger," she replied with a coldness that would make Severus proud of her. "And you?"

"Are you just any Granger, or _the _Granger?" The girl demanded with the same chillness as Hermione. "As in _the _Granger aka Harry Potter's number two sidekick, resident Griffindor know-it-all and Cute-wanna-be?" 

"You missed out _prefect_," she replied with authority, standing taller so that her badge shone in the light. She had now recognized the other girl as the one who tried to make chocolate for _her_ Severus. Dangerous sparks sizzled between them, and both reached for their wands.

Before either of them could say the simplest incarnation, Severus stepped out from the supply closet and snarled, "What's all that racket? Shut up and get to work!" 

When he turned and entered another lab which students were forbidden to enter, Hermione stuck out her tongue at the other girl who ground her teeth and started to make an angry remark when Severus' voice boomed from the other room again, "Go scrub the floor without magic, and fetch me some Jojoba oil, would you?"

Hermione began to move toward the supply closet when a strong hand pushed her. She wheeled and stumbled, powerless on the floor, only to see Acree took the jar of oil and walked over to the lab. A surge of jealousy washed over her as the evil (in her opinion) witch stopped briefly before entering and sneered, "Go scrub the floor, _Griffindor_." The door then closed tightly to Hermione.

----------

The door clicked. Severus looked up from the ancient book with a frown attached on his brows. They furrowed deeper when he saw who came in. 

"Here's the oil, sir." Putting the jar down, Acree walked over to him.

He had assumed that Granger would be the one who come in and assist him. He placed a finger on the text but he was not really reading. "Where is Granger?" He said finally.

"Oh, _her?_" She snorted, but covered it with a laugh, and her body shook exaggeratedly, making her blonde hair billow. "She was out there scrubbing the floor as you instructed, sir." She said this like it was a great joke. He frowned and returned to the book.

She moved closer, taking his silence as an approval, and bent lower to read the text herself. It was a difficult Latin book, and after a while she stood back up uninterestedly, and nibbled on her nails.

Severus was reading the same paragraph for the third time but there were still things he didn't understand. But he decided to start the potion anyway. Unaware of Acree standing just next to him, he looked up and almost bumped into the girl. 

"What are you doing? Get to that side of the table!" He hissed, feeling his last nerve was ground under the high heels of this girl here. She pouted again but obliged. He started to measure the caterpillars.

Acree stood there and enjoyed herself. She had always loved challenges, and grew tired of the plain boys who would jump from the Astronomy Tower if she told them to. Snape was different. He was so cold and irritable that she found him immensely sexy. _I have always like 'bad' boys_, she thought, as she licked her lips temptingly. However he was paying her no attention. She scowled and turned her gaze to the various ingredients lining on the bench.

"Ohhh what's this?" She asked, pointing at some rainbow-colored powder.

"Something expensive. Don't touch it," he warned without looking at her. She wondered was there any other emotion this man could feel. But that's why she lusted after him. Tearing her eyes from the head of her house, she continued to play with the ingredients. There's a flask of translucent pink potion and she dipped a finger in it, only to be burnt painfully. She let out a small yelp.

"What now." He couldn't believe her, a Slytherin, could be so annoying. Granger would never have bothered him while working on a potion- in fact, she would probably be even more engrossed than he did. Acree hid her finger which was swollen with angry boils behind her back, and shook her head. He eyed her suspiciously. "If there's nothing go dilute this." He handed her a jar of yellowish goo.

"What's this?" She carefully took it.

"Dragon phlegm, don't-" It was too late, her grip had loosen in shock. Severus dived down and caught it just before it crashed on the stone floor. 

"Ewww! Eww eww ewwewweww!!!" She was washing her hand when he stood up. He closed his eyes wearily and took a deep breath, the urge to hex her into oblivion came back. When he felt calm enough to open his eyes again, he ordered her to dice the frog livers instead. She didn't look much relieved.

For the second time of the night he wished Granger was helping him instead of Acree, for she would surely marveled at the jar of phlegm rather than drop it. Thinking of her, his legs moved automatically to the door. 

"Professor!!"

"What?" It was really not a good idea to turn so fast, because he could _hear _the cracking of the bones in his neck. _Merlin, can the night get any worse?_

One should never think that because turned out it can. Acree had chopped the livers into star shapes. 

"Ain't they cute?" She looked at the plate of livers proudly. It had taken her a lot of work, but it was worth it.

He rubbed his face with a hand. Had he offended some unknown divine power? If no, why would he be damned by this imbecile here? Suddenly she let out a shriek and the plate of 'cute' frog livers fell with a clash. She jumped around scratching her back, screaming, "Something's got me! Something's got me!"

"A hundred points from Slytherin, and- Get- LOST!" He exploded. She sobbed but didn't stop jumping. He took her by the collar, marched out of the dungeon and threw her out into the dark corridor, then with a loud 'pang' closed the door, locking her wails and swearing outside. He felt very relieved and scolded himself for not doing this earlier.

He then swept back to the bushy-head kneeling on the floor. "You did it," He said it as a statement.

"Did what, sir?" Carefully averting his piercing gaze Hermione twisted the wet towel in the bucket, feeling very like Cinderella. 

----------

She glared at the closed wooden door disbelievingly. They had left her in this dank dungeon, alone with nothing but a bucket and two towels. When the door refused to budge under her fiery glare, she sighed and started to scrub the stone floor. 

Ten minutes later she couldn't stand any longer. The water was freezing without being magically warmed, and her curiosity was beginning to kill her like it would a cat. She crept closer to the door and peered through the keyhole. The vision was limited but it was better than none. She almost broke her wand in anger when Acree stood next to Severus, but was even more bitter when he didn't tell her off, so bitter that she slumped back against the door and didn't see him snarling at Acree. 

She scrubbed three more inches miserably before looking back into the keyhole. Why she bothered she did not understand, as it was very painful to see them having a good time- from her point of view they were- and she was alone in this dark dungeon scraping dirt. She felt some kind of ferocious satisfaction as the Slytherin witch hurt herself by touching undiluted Hippocamus' egg yolk, but it was depressing to see her being able to get hold of dragon phlegm. How she would loved to work alongside with him in his private laboratory, seeing every rare ingredients and experimenting their properties.

She slid back onto the floor, leaning against the heavy door, and buried her face into her knees, wanting to cry but no tears would come. She did not know what she had expected from him, but certainly not leaving her alone in a dungeon while he himself worked with another girl in the next. This was by far the cruelest detention she had received, apart from the one with Umbridge. She had thought she was special to him, the way he let her sleep in his bed a couple of days ago. But once again she had misunderstood, it was only too clear that she was no more special to him than Acree was. He treated them in the same manner, but by some strange reason she felt unfair.

_He was actually quite nice, at least civil to me when we were alone. _She said in her mind, asking silently for an answer.

It came after a while. _Well, he did have a reputation to maintain._

_ So he left me because I am a Griffindor, let her in because she's a Slytherin? _

The voice kept quiet, couldn't come up with an explanation anymore. She started to rub the floor again, quickly and roughly, ignoring the numbness in her fingers. The stones beneath her grew colder and she shivered. She rubbed some more before throwing the towel away, and spied into the small hole again, though her soul protested this act of self-torture.

She watched for a few minutes and wondered why hadn't he lose his patience yet. 

_He would have if it was I who fooled around. _Sourly she mused. _I wonder when will he explode?_ Without knowing what she was doing, she picked up her wand and pointed at Acree. It was extremely difficult to aim but she carefully measured and whispered the curse, one commonly used by the Weasley twins.

"_Fleaous Appandos._"

----------

"I know a curse when I saw one," he said and scowled at her red hands, remembering Poppy's warning. "Come in."

Hermione dropped the rag piece of cloth back into the bucket and followed him. To her surprise they went into his bed chambers, not his lab. He sat into an armchair beside the fire and motioned her to do the same. She leant back and stared into the fireplace, unsure of what to say.

He watched pensively as she looked away. She had saved him, to say the truth, for half of his brain cells would be dead by the end of the detention with Acree, but he did not want to praise her for a prank. He cleared his throat.

"That is a curse Potter and Black often use," he said silkily and startled himself. This was not what he had planned to say.

She turned to him bewildered. He had never speak to her like this, let alone about his past. Sitting straighter, she said, "It is widely used by many students, like the Weasley twins. They keep giving me a hard time." She chuckled lowly at this.

"I've no doubt," he arched an eyebrow and Hermione gasped inwardly. "They've lost a lot of points for Griffindor, for which I should thank them. We'd not have won the House Cup if not for them." 

She pursed her lips and looked away again. Griffindor. Slytherin. Is it really so important to him?

"What happened between you and Weasley?" He asked abruptly, but as soon as the question left his lips he wished it hadn't. She paled visibly.

"Well," she took a deep breath and forced herself to smile. It looked more like a grimace to Severus. "I- well."

He very much wanted to prompt, 'well, what?' but knew better. He folded his arms and looked straight at the girl, as though to read her mind. She shifted before his scrutinizing eyes. 

"I- eh, well, there is someone that I liked, but it is not Ron," she lowered her eyelids, attempting to hide her emotions. "He took it very hard, and-"

When she looked up again, he almost wanted to refuse the feelings so plain, so blatant in those chocolate orbs. It was so different from those in Acree's, but so similar at the same time.

"I- I need to go professor. Good night." She stood up suddenly and fled his presence. He knew. _He knew._

He did not stop her but remained in the seat, rubbing his temples.

----------

_He knew. He knew. He knew._

All she could think of was these two words. It was like a curse, a curse she couldn't quite make out. She bathed and changed with a blank look on her face.

_He knew._

What could she do now? He had discovered her secret. Though she had agreed to act according to her heart, she had never foresee this to happen. How could she face him?

_Should I give up?_ She flinched at the question that popped out of nowhere. She had not doubted what she has been doing for almost two months now, but the question was so practical she could not just ignore it.

Crookshanks cuddled near her chest, purring like asking a question.

"I don't know, Crookshanks, I don't know," she confessed, hugging the ginger cat closer.

----------

A/N: Anyone who would like an update email please leave your email address. To know more about me, add me in ICQ :170558813! *mutters* not that no one wants to...*shrugs* And my weblog: www.xanga.com/zanthia

Please as well review my other story, which I had updated just yesterday. Storyid: 1424029

REVIEW and you'd receive a kiss from Neville, c'mon, you know you want one *grins*


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: Everything in the HP universe is mine, and when you're reading this your computer automatically transfers a billion to my account. Only I don't have an account. And that if you believe any of the nonsense above you're dumber than Goyle. And we all know that is impossible. And the song is "Anything but Ordinary" by Avril Lavigne.

A/N: *sigh* Is summer over already? *sigh again* Anywayz. Hmm, curious. Many of you said that you'd rather pass Neville's kiss. *Neville weeps in the background* And some asked why didn't I offer Sevvie's kiss. To that question, I can only say that's because he is all _mine_. MINE! But I got 29 reviews anyway. WOW!

**Queen-Ditz: **I know this is not quick enough but I tried! Sorry and enjoy!

**LuNa LoVeGoOd5: **Thanks! Yeah, Chinese is my first language, English's my second. And I will try to write more, keep reading!

**ElvenFaerie: ** Thank you! In a way I can't wait to start college, but in another I am really nervous... anyway, please enjoy!

**Kryptonite: **The story would end too soon if she gave up, so yeah, she probably wouldn't. Hehe. And yes, Neville is Ginny's, that's the way they were meant to be (ignore the pun, now)!

**Noriko M. Chijinu: **I hate to do this, but- _when _are you going to update? Huh??? *crack fists* Haha. As for the platinum-blonde... well, I have a surprise for you at the end of this chapter... hey hey HEY! Don't cheat! Don't scroll down now! Read the chappie first!

**tashie: **Sadly, I do. But ahhh I can never find the mistakes before it is uploaded... glad you like the story!

**Real-fan05: **Thank you! I am sure I will do fine but Hermione's less lucky... as long as her fate is in my hands. *evil crackle* 

**Chocolate Pudding1: **Hey that's pretty much how I felt too! Well, Hermione is more or less my reflection, I guess, in this story at least. Ron and Hermy are probably going to make up, but not so soon. Just kick him if you want in the meantime. *wink*

**Teri: **Thanks for the correction, I have changed it immediately after I've read your review. Hope you like this chapter as well!

**HPFanFicLuvr: **Wow, thanks! Sevvie asked about Hermione and Ron because they 'broke up' during his class and I saw that finding something else to say was a way for him to escape the awkwardness of that moment. And welcome on board of the 'We love Sevvie' train! Haha. As for a kissy Sevvie... Well, he will appear sooner or later.

**Ezmerelda: **It will mean a lot to him now that he knows, but what? That you'll need to wait and see. *wink*

**lyberslynn: **Thanks! Hope you like this as well!

**crazy2: **Thanks for reviewing both my stories! Hope this chapter measures up to your standard :) !

**mysticalecho: **Thanks!

**Amethyst9: **Thank you, it's nice to know I am improving. And I just have to say... your story is wonderful.

**AddisonRae: **Here's more, hope you like it!

**-Jae: **Ahh my muses are too roused up already, they are jumping up and down on my bed. Lol! Anywayz, keep reading!

**Dana Whelks: **Thanks, here's more!

**OtherHiccup: **O I should be the one thanking your review. Keep reading!

**Bullwinkle435: **I've read your story and yay! I will keep reading. You do the same to my story, ok? *wink*

**Danric-Lover: **I will update soon, but as for the kiss from Sevvie... *check stock* Well, I do seem to have a spare one...

**kurtfan5678: **Cliffhangers are inhuman, but believe it or not, they are fun to write!! Lol. Please keep reading!

**Serenity: **Thanks! As for the chappie thingie... please refer to the author's note. It's something stupid involving the stupid ff.net and a stupid author. Be warned. It really is stupid.

**ReiLynn: **Thanks! Glad you like it!

**evilbon32: **Wow, another long review! We have something in common, I love to hear myself talk too! Haha. Glad you like the name-banter, cause I'm not exactly sure how to do dialogues... and for Acree, that b*tch, I have thrown her into the recycle bin and she would only come back if someone make a request. Or when my muse have too much sugar. As for Ron, he will be back, but later. Much later. *listens* What? I am not saying that so you'd continue to read!

**kat-tak****: **Thankies!

I will be going to Singapore so, here's a chapter for you before I leave. Enjoy!

----------

Severus glanced in her direction for the hundredth time of the night. She was hunching over some book beside the cauldron, her face hidden behind drapes of frizzy hair. He turned back to his own cauldron, and frowned at the eerie floating reflection of himself in the turquoise potion. The dungeon was exceptionally warm tonight, with fires burning and cracking beneath the two cauldrons, from where the sticky, pungent odors of herbs mixed were emitted. Aside from the warmth, everything was back in order: the room was pervaded by a silence that broke only when an occasional bubble burst in either cauldrons. 

But nothing seemed normal to him somehow. His eyes drifted unwillingly towards the girl, now stirring her potion carefully. Her face was still hidden behind the shadow the dim light cast across her features. He sighed mentally and tried to focus on his own potion, which was proving harder by the minute. _What had gotten into me? _

She flipped a page and broke his train of thought.

_She has not spoken since last week. Has she gone dumb? _His reflection stared back at him blankly. He stirred the potion and watched himself dissipated into the now green potion. The week had crept past with night after night of silence-filled detentions. She had not smiled nor talked to him for seven days. He would not have thought that possible a week ago- she seemed so eager to share her thoughts with him then.

"Powdered moonstone please, professor," she said, eyes not leaving the book. He scowled and handed her the ingredient. Okay, so maybe she _had _spoke to him in the week, but this would be the way she spoke- polite, quiet yet evasive. He almost missed her chatters and giggles. Almost.

She added the powdered moonstone and the potion gave a hiss, startling him out of his musings. _Good thing it did_, he thought, adding in leech juice just in time. _What has changed? I haven't, that's for sure. So it is this annoying girl here. What's her matter anyway?_ He remembered the emotions glittering in her eyes that night, and swore secretly. _Well, it's not like she had say it out loud... can't we just pretend... wait, why pretend? Nothing happened! _

His hand wandered to the ingredients sitting on the bench between the two cauldrons, and picked up a jar of crushed unicorn horns absently. Suddenly something brushed the back of his hand, and he dropped the jar.

"No!" Two voices rang in the dungeon and simultaneously both shadows dived down. Hermione reached first and when her fingers encircled around the jar, pulling it out of the fatal fall, she let out a breath that she did not realize herself holding. However the moment of relief lasted for about a nanosecond, for his hand arrived and wrapped itself around the jar, entrapping her hand in the process.

To any outside observer it would have been a very strange sight: the two of them were kneeling on the floor beside a simmering cauldron, their hands entwining on a jar. She closed her eyes and took in the sensation of his hand on top of hers. His hand was large, covering her small one effortlessly, and it was rough. She felt her breathing tightened again as the calluses on his hand rubbed against the back of hers. 

He didn't know what had happened, but when his senses came back he was on the floor holding her hand _and _a jar. It would have been funny even, if not for the strangeness he was feeling. The glass was cool against his fingertips, but her hand was warm, and it was pulsing slightly. He stared at their hands as though they can answer his question: How on earth did he get himself in this position?

He removed his hand suddenly, hastily, like he had been burnt. She swallowed bitterly, then stood up and put the jar back on the bench. He picked it up, carefully this time. The potion looked fine to him, despite the fact that the horns were not added in precisely. The room dropped silent once again, but the atmosphere was even more awkward than before. He stole a glance at her and shook his head.

Two hours later, with the cauldron cleaned and the potion neatly placed on the shelves, she left without a word. He stared at the closed door for a long, long moment.

---------- 

"Hi Hermione," the girls chorused when she entered the dormitory.

"Hi Ginny. Hi Lavender. Hi Parvati." Hermione greeted dully in return, and threw herself into bed. Crookshanks bounced onto her immediately, but she only grunted in response. Ginny and Lavender exchanged a look.

"Hey Herm," Ginny jumped onto Hermione's bed. Crookshanks welcomed her with a loud purr, but his mistress was less happy. She glared at the other girl, her hand stopped pulling at the curtains.

"Yes?" She demanded. Ginny put on her innocent face and puppy eyes. Hermione sighed. "Gin, I am really very tired tonight and-" She halted when a pillow hit her square in the face. Lavender let out an excited squeal, "Pillow fight!"

Ten minutes of pillow warfare later, Hermione laid on the floor with the other two girls, holding her side and catching her breath. She was nearly suffocated by the pillows aiming at her but between giggles and battle cries, breathing seemed relatively unimportant. 

"That's fun," panted Ginny. Her hair was messy and sticking out, making it more like wild fire than ever.

"It is," agreed Hermione, shoving one last cushion into Lavender's lap. The other girl only laughed, too tired to retaliate. 

"We should do this more often," Lavender chirped, standing up and dusting her robes. Her friends followed suit and picked up the pillows. Parvati, who hadn't joined in, saw this and remarked from her bed, "I'm so glad that's over."

"It's not," Lavender said and swiftly threw a large pillow to her friend. It hit its target with a gratifying 'smack'. Parvati stood up and pounced.

As the other side of the room went into chaos once again, Ginny looked at Hermione and patted her hand. "Feeling better?"

Hermione only nodded, unable to answer.

"Good," Ginny smiled before joining the battle.

----------

_Sometimes I get so weird_

_ I even freak myself out_

_ I laugh myself to sleep_

_It's my lullaby_

"You smell that?" Lavender asked. She was walking to the Great Hall for breakfast with Harry and Hermione. It was a Friday morning and the atmosphere was a light one that usually filled the school before a Hogsmeade weekend. Harry sniffed the air and stood straighter in alarm.

"Oh. No." He and Lavender exchanged a look before glancing at Hermione. Her sense of smell, for some reason, was less sharp than most people. She was still talking animatedly to a sixth year Ravenclaw that neither of them recognized, unsuspecting. Lavender groaned deeply. This had not happened for almost four months. In fact, it hadn't happened since their fourth year that she had forgotten all about it.

_Sometimes I drive so fast_

_Just to feel the danger_

_I wanna scream_

_It makes me feel alive_

Hermione was deeply absorbed in conversation with Dan, a Ravenclaw who excelled in Transfiguration. He was planning to register as an Animagus next month. It was a nice change, talking to an intellect who understood her theories without needing further explanations, and about subjects outside the Quidditch pitch, too. She absolutely loved talking with Ravenclaws, who in her opinion may be a bit cold but when you get to know them they really weren't that bad. Not to mention their cleverness and sharpness, which make conversing with them usually an interesting experience. 

"So, what is your Animagus form?" She asked excitedly. "Had you chose one and practiced it-?"

"Oh, no I'd let my instincts choose its form," replied Dan mildly. "Which means I am not going to know what it is until the day of registration. Though I am pretty sure it won't be a bug or a fish." He winked and Hermione laughed. That was when some other girls from Ravenclaw called him and he left with a 'See ya later'. That was also when they had approached the Great Hall.

"Hey, you guys smell that?" Hermione said, sniffing at the air. Harry and Lavender carefully averted her eyes.

_To walk within the lines_

_Would make my life so boring_

_I want to know that I _

_Have been to the extreme_

_So knock me off my feet_

_Come on now give it to me_

_Anything to make me feel alive_

There was no denial now. The sweet scent was so strong in the air that the students could almost see it floating. Most of them shook their heads and walked into the Hall as if it held their doom. The first years stared and took in the smell, puzzled expressions intact. Malfoy, Goyle and Crabbe brushed past the three Griffindors roughly, with a grim look on their faces, and Harry would have laughed at them if not for the fact that he was wearing a similar grimace. Lavender groaned again.

But some of the students were beaming and squeaking in delight. Hermione, who had been quiet and concentrating hard to identify the odor, slowly widened her grin and her eyes lit up. She remembered the smell, and as she did the sweet taste seemed to roll on her tongue. Her two friends watched her apprehensively and prepared to pull her back if she made some frantic dash into the Great Hall. 

The thought had indeed passed her mind for a second. And if not for the Prefect badge shinning so righteously on her robes, who knows what she might have done? She personally did not consider herself above dashing into the Hall in these occasions.

Her grin grew even bigger and was now stretching from ear to ear. "Oh jolly."

"Oh crap," said Harry and Lavender together fearfully.

_Is it enough to love?_

_Is it enough to breath?_

_Somebody rip my heart out_

_And leave me here to bleed_

_Is it enough to die?_

_Somebody save my life_

_I'd rather be anything but ordinary please_

The infamous Hogwarts Cinnamon Feast. Yeah, you heard it. It was the Cinnamon Feast.

The three of them settled into their usual seats. Hermione's eyes gleamed at the sight of the breakfast while almost every other Griffindor regarded the food with disgust. The usual pancakes, waffles, bread, muffins and scones were replaced by every possible kind of cinnamon rolls and buns. There were some with chocolate, some with raspberries, some with jelly. There were hills of cinnamon donuts and creampuffs. The usual jam and maple syrup's place was taken by various kind of cream. Even the drink, which were normally milk or pumpkin juice, changed to hot apple cinnamon tea or iced cinnamon honey.

The Hall was even noisier than usual. Students were protesting and fidgeting around the cinnamon-topped pies. 

"Cinnamon GREATNESS!" Hermione shouted over all the noise, giggled and began filling her plate with cinnamon goodies. 

"You are too happy," Lavender muttered under her breath.

"Has anyone ever told you that your weird?" Harry shouted back and poked his small cinnamon puff with a fork. 

"NO!" She shouted giddily and began to bite into a piece of cinnamon bun. Harry shook his head.

_Sometimes I get so weird_

_I even freak myself out_

_I laugh my self to sleep_

_It's my lullaby_

"Why can't we have this every morning?" She complained, chewing on her third donut. 

"Because if we had this every morning we'd all die from high cholesterol within a month," replied Parvati, eyeing the food with aversion. She had not touched any them.

"At least I can die in peace then," retorted Hermione as she started to raid the plate of cinnamon-chocolate-rolls. Neville looked at her in awe. 

"You sure you won't burst?" 

"Pffft," was her answer. She was never exactly thin, but she thought her figure was okay. Well, she did not think a lot about her figure anyway. She had better things to do with her time than to sit back and meditate on her curves-

"Merlin's beard, I forgot." She shot up suddenly, still munching on a cookie. She had promised to do some research for Professor McGonagall, but in the week of awkwardness and evasion, she had easily put that away from her mind. And as promises tended to be, it was not remembered until the last minute. She glanced at her watch. Thirty minutes left. Still enough time for a quick visit to the library.

She pulled out a parchment from her bag and with a simple incarnation, transfigured it into a paper bag. Ignoring the gawks from her fellow housemates, she stuffed it with cinnamon sticks and sprinkled them (the cinnamon sticks, of course) with vanilla sugar. Then she ran off to the library.

_Let down your defenses_

_Use no common sense_

_If you look you will see _

_that this world is a beautiful _

_accident turbulent succulent _

_opulent permanent, no way_

_I wanna taste it _

_Don't wanna waste it away_

She ran along the corridor, her heels clanking audibly against the stony ground, all dignity forgotten. _At least I still have these sticks. _She thought to herself, and bit the end of a stick slightly. It was still warm in her mouth. Cinnamon was her mother's favorite spice. It was also her grandmother's. Therefore their house was always filled by the same sweet taste every Thanksgiving and Christmas. She loved the smell, it reminded her of family. Thinking of family, she remembered that she was able to see them in less than twenty-four hours, and her heart soared. 

"Is it enough to love? Is it enough to breath?" One second she was singing light-heartedly and skipping down the stairs, not looking where she was going.

_Oooof. _The next second she bumped into a wall and was numbed for a moment, unable to speak. 

"Miss Granger?" A cold voice spoke. Hermione's eyes darted upwards with difficulty and saw Severus glaring down at her.

For a long moment she was lost again in those tunnel-like eyes. She knew she should look away, but she had not looked straight into those eyes for so long that it was only until now she discovered how much she longed for them. Every defiance, every pretence she built melted away, and she didn't care. 

Severus was stunned. Not surprised, _stunned._ He was just doing a routine morning patrol when something fell into him without warning. He caught the person easily, and was relatively unharmed. But it was obvious that whoever bumped into him was less lucky. He was about to snarl when the student looked up, and it was none other than Hermione Granger. She had not speak, for the impact of crash had deprived her of the ability of speech, but her eyes were more telling than anything else. 

She was the one to recover first, surprisingly, and stepped away from him. _This all seem way too familiar, _she thought idly while looking down and fingering with the stitches on her cuff. "I am sorry, professor." 

"Sorry? You are practically _flying _down the stairs!" He reproached, unleashing his sudden fury and worries in a resounding snarl. She kept her eyes cautiously on the hem of her robes. The stairway fell into a dead silence as the last of his echo disappeared. After what seemed like an eternity, when he was sure that she was about to break down under his scrutinizing glare, she reached into her robes and pulled out a bag of squished pastry that resembled something that has appeared in his horrid meals. 

¡@"Oh no, it's all squashed," she looked at the bag sadly and sighed like it held the source of her misery. He stared incredulously at the mesh that was once a delicacy (to some, at least). She nearly broke her neck and was facing his full wrath, and all she cared was some squashy who-know-what? He opened his mouth as if to let out another deafening shout, but shut it again in defeat. 

"Well I can always get more in the kitchen, I guess," she said to herself brightly and thrusted the former cinnamon sticks into his hands. "See you then, professor." With that she flashed him a toothy smile, and whirled past him in a manner that reminded him greatly of himself. He stared at the sticky mess in his hand, then at the back of the girl as she skipped more steps and sang in the distant.

_Is it enough?_

_Is it enough?_

_Is it enough to breath?_

_Somebody rip my heart out_

_And leave me here to bleed_

_Is it enough to die?_

_Somebody save my life_

_I'd rather be anything but ordinary please_

But he was not fooled. That was a blue trace of melancholy in her brown pupils, not a deep one, but it was there. Beneath all those joyous acts there was a certain sadness that prevented the mirth she tried so hard to radiate from reaching her eyes. When he looked straight into her clear, swimming orbs he almost reached her soul. _This is not good, Severus, _the tiny voice warned in a whisper. _Not good at all. _

Closing his eyes wearily, and momentarily forgetting that he was in fact standing on a public stairway that any student could saw him with a bag of mashed cinnamon sticks, he answered, _I know. _

_ Maybe you should keep your Legilimency to yourself next time, _the voice said with an edge of a smirk. 

_You know that's instinct, _he retorted. No student had ever made him feel helpless, but Granger succeeded. _What am I to do with her now?_

And naturally the voice, hearing a question, left without answering.

----------

For a terrible moment, she felt completely vulnerable and near naked in front of him. It was not a pleasant sensation, knowing that he could read her fears, her misery, her deepest secrets. She hated being weak.

_Had the smile tricked him? _She chewed on her lip absently, and groaned. _Very unlikely. _He must be a very skilled Legilimens if he could reach her feelings so easily, just by a simple eye-contact, and she had to admit that the possibility of tricking him was dim. Or maybe she was just plain fathomable. _Maybe being in love really involves more than sweet little talks._ She sighed. She had to seriously reconsider her decision. That seemed very faraway now, her confession to Lavender, not to mention naive and stupid and unpractical... 

"You are incredibly quiet for a student who is going to meet her parents in half an hour," Professor McGonagall gave her a sideway look. She shook her head and smiled at her teacher. 

"I am just happy," she replied. It was true. She was starting to feel a little sick at keeping her emotions to herself. After the pillow fight incident, she realized how she must have worried her friends, returning to the Common Room every night tired and snappish. She was determined not to let her bitterness show since then. It was enough that she was miserable, there was no need to rub it on everyone else. So she went through her lessons with a smile and laughed at every joke Fred or George came up with, and finally, everyone was satisfied. The same tactic applied to her detentions. She would avoid any conversation or eye contact, and it was slowly driving her crazy.

All in all, this was the perfect timing to be away from Hogwarts for a while. She missed her parents and family dearly, and looked forward to meeting them. Janica, her favorite cousin, was getting married. She could talk with her all night long, about girl stuff and nonsense and laughed at the models in the magazines, maybe share a cookie or two, like they used to before she left for Hogwarts. Yes, she missed those times, especially now that she was troubled and traumatized. The thought of a fluffy sleepover appealed to her like a warm lick would to a wounded kitten.

"You will floo to the Leaky Cauldron, Miss Granger, where I believe your parents are waiting for you. Please return before curfew on Sunday night." McGonagall was instructing her. She nodded and walked closer to the fire. Grabbing a pinch of of Floo powder, she threw it into the fire and said, "Leaky Cauldron!"

The fire turned green and as she stepped into the fire, the nauseating feeling came and tucked her into a tornado before she could brace herself.

---------- 

"Owww," falling roughly from a fireplace with ashes in her hair was not her ideal way of meeting parents. A hand took her hand and she gratefully stood up. It was her father.

"Mommy! Dad!" She squeaked loudly, forgetting that she was in a pub. Her parents beamed at her. Her father pulled her into a bone-crushing embrace, saying, "how's my favorite lollypop?"

"I am fine, Dad," she laughed and turned to her mother, who smiled warmly and hugged her. She hid her face in her mother's shoulder, inhaling the familiar scent of anesthetic and mint. Pulling away slightly, she regarded her mother's graying hair and increased lines around her eyes. "I miss you, Mommy!"

"Me too, dear," Rachel Granger looked at her only child closely. She had not grow taller, but something inside had changed. She restrained from pointing that out. "Come, let's go home."

Hermione took her parent's hand. With her father on the left and her mother on the right, she exited the Leaky Cauldron, content to be just a spoiled kid.

----------

That night, Hermione's family went over to Janica's home. After a gratifying supper, her parents left, leaving Hermione with Janica, who was delighted to have someone to pass the night with. "Come, I'll show you to our room," she said suddenly, pulling Hermione up.

Hermione took in the surroundings curiously. Janica had moved to Charles, her fiancé's house two months ago. Charles came from a large, traditional wizard clan. However, Hermione had not met him yet, for they believed that it was not auspicious for the bride to see the groom before the wedding. 

"What if he hates me?" She wanted to know. 

"He will love you, and if he doesn't, I will not marry him," Janica said seriously. 

"What am I going to call him? Cousin-in-law or something?" She was still not satisfied. Janica nudged her in the ribs playfully. 

"Charles, and just Charles, please. Come on, Piggy, I should be the one worrying!" 

"Don't call me Piggy," it was a nickname Janica called her long ago. Her cousin ignored her and pushed open a door. 

"Wow," Hermione breathed. The room was pretty much like a normal muggle room, which was amazing itself when it was found in a wizard's home. The room was lined with a pure white carpet, and in the middle of the room sat a big double bed. There were some shelves and a coffee table and a couch and a television. There was a fireplace, too, the only thing reminding Hermione that she was in a wizard household. French windows lined the west wall, where a small balcony was installed and when the breeze came in, the chiffon curtains flew. Another door on the opposite wall led to a bathroom. 

"Don't just stand there, come in!" Janica pulled the stunned girl in, and grinned. "Like it?" 

"Love it," Hermione replied, and when she had gotten over the shock, she said, "I don't know why would anyone bother to put carpets in your room, Jan. You'd just get them dirty in an hour." 

Janica poked her tongue out at her and slumped onto the bed. 

"Charles can fix it in a wave of his wand." 

Hermione threw herself beside the other girl. Janica turned to face her. "I mean, you can do magic, right? You can do like, anything you like with magic, right?" 

"It's not like that, Jan," Hermione replied neutrally. "We do have laws. And even magic has its limits. We can't revive the dead, for example-" 

"But you can do much more than we can," Jan sighed. "It's amazing when Charles changes a light bulb or fixes a meal with some incarnation. You magical people seemed so much stronger than us." 

"Muggles are in many ways greater than wizards," Hermione did not understand Jan's point. "For example, a wizard can never figure out how to cook without magic, or how electricity works, or- they can't light a match, for crying out loud! We are way too dependent on magic, if you ask me. Few wizards can survive the Muggle world without a wand, and that's-" 

¡@"But you can't say magic's not fun," Jan pressed, interrupting her rant. 

"Well..." Hermione trailed off. 

"I sure wish I am a witch," Jan concluded with a sigh and sat up. 

Hermione stared at the white ceiling and said nothing, unable to come up with an answer. The following silence was a long awkward one. She blinked uncomfortably. 

She had not spend as much time with Janica since she went to Hogwarts. They did see each other over the summers or during Christmas holidays, but those meetings were brief and imperceptibly, but surely, they drifted apart. Hermione felt that she should go bang her head on some wall- she was so tactless! She had met few Muggles over the years, and much fewer those who knew what she really was, and now Janica's envy was so easy to understand that she wondered why could not she see it a minute ago. _Why have we kept our identity a secret? This is why._

"So. I understand that you've found yourself a boyfriend?" Breaking the silence, Janica steered the subject to a safer ground. 

"Boyfriend?" Hermione echoed. 

"Yeah, the boy you mentioned in your last letter. Is it- Don?" 

"Don...? I don't know a- oh, Ron!" She had mentioned Ron in her last letter? Well, this just proved she had not written to Jan for a long time. "Heck no! Ron is just a- a- classmate." Her tongue stumbled and the word 'friend' nearly got out. 

"Is there any other...?" Jan prompted hopefully. Hermione shook her head, but paused. Should she tell her about Severus? Can she? Dare she? 

Jan shot up abruptly. "I will go get some cookies and popcorn." She left the room without looking at Hermione, who was starting to think that the night was going to be a long one. _What would Jan think about me liking a man twenty years older? _She felt bad about hesitating to tell Jan her problem. They used to talk about everything. _Why should that have changed? _She asked herself. 

When Jan returned with a huge jar of cookies and a bowl of popcorn, Hermione sat up and smiled. "I am ready, Jan." 

---------- 

She told Jan all about her crush- how she fought hard before accepting it, how she went through many doubts and traumas, how Ron reacted negatively but Harry, Lavender and Ginny stayed with her, how she got herself enough detentions to last a lifetime, and how Severus reacted to her change. Jan was a fabulous listener, as she had always been, and did not interrupt her. Hermione was relieved that she had not shown any disgust or judged presumptuously. 

"So, he's your teacher?" Jan said after Hermione finished, and reached for her tenth oatmeal cookie.

"Yeah," she nodded and took a cookie herself.

"Wow," Jan munched thoughtfully. "That's a lot to take in at one time." She admitted.

"I know, I can't take it in myself, everything's happening too fast."

"What does he look like?" Jan was curious- what kind of man, not exactly a young one at that, could have captured her little cousin's heart?

Hermione looked up at the ceiling and thought. "Well, he is tall, almost six feet. He is quite pale, and has ink-black eyes, a crooked nose and thin lips that are usually curled into a sneer. He always wear a scowl and oh, his hair is the greasiest one that you can imagine."

"Sounds attractive," Jan raised an eyebrow and said sarcastically. Hermione laughed.

"He is."

"Didn't you just say that he is harsh and sadistic?"

"He is not perfect. Far from it, in fact," she replied. "Actually I am reconsidering my choice. To follow my heart's will... it all seem very stupid now." 

"Hmmm... tell me, what do you like about him?" 

"I- well I think there's nothing I like about him. I just do," Hermione tried to sound convincing. She had not thought about this before.

"Nonsense. There must be something about him that attracts you. His looks? His sense of humor?"

Hermione nearly choked on her cookie. She coughed a bit before answering. "Sense of humor? If he had a sense of humor then he's doing a very good job hiding it." Then, seeing Jan's expression, she added, "I think- his intelligence?"

"It is possible that people with the same wave-length are attracted to each other," Jan said sagely. "But you _have _to know what you like about a person before you can fully determine whether you want to love him or not."

"I still don't know whether I should give up," Hermione confessed and helped herself with a cinnamon cookie. "Maybe...?"

Jan smiled. "Maybe we should make a list of the things that you like about this guy." She stood up and a moment later, returned with two pens and a pad of paper. Hermione looked at her uncertainly, but took a pen anyway.

The night slowly grew deeper as the two lied on their bellies and began to list what they liked about their men. Everything was back to what they were five years ago, when two little girls laughed over magazines and snacks.

----------

A/N: Phew. Finally. This chapter is not too good, I am writing under the constant threat of evil writer blocks!! Agrhhh. But I've done it. The cinnamon scene is so forced I almost scraped it. Anyways, the next chapter will be better, I hope.

And now, as for the surprise promised to Noriko... *dun dun dun* I have written a new story, "A tangling dilemma", featuring DRACO/Ginny/Neville. It is a serious fic with a plot planned already. It will be my first angsty fic, and it will be dedicated to NORIKO, my first ever reviewer, without whom I would never have gone this far. Please go and read/review it! Thanks!

Please leave your email, anonymous reviewers, to be on my update list. REVIEW PLEASE!


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I owe nothing of the HP universe. I am just a nobody hiding in a cave writing. So please don't sue.

A/N: School is definitely getting on my nerves! I have not been online for almost a week! And I don't get time to write so this late update is not my fault. Not entirely, anyways... *sheepish smile* I have got 27 reviews this time, not bad! I loved you all who read it and reviewed it, over and over again! You are so nice to me! *sob sob*

**tomzgurl77: **Hihi *waves like mad* Good to see you again! They are getting together alright, read to see what I mean!

**Noriko M. Chijinu: **Glad ya like the story! Sadly, not many people are reviewing it... hmmm... *ponders**light bulb appears on top of head*

**Merry the Psychotic Coconut: **I loved cinnamon! I am practically_ mad _about it. I hope you like this chapter too!

**Tabii: **I'm sorry I didn't update earlier, I really do! Please forgive me! Ahh... _

**donna x: **Thanks! You are on my email list now, so please keep reading!

**tashie: **Here's some fluff for you! He did not miss her when she was away (read to see why!) *evil laugh*, but there _are _some pov from Sevvie, thanks for the suggestion!

**Metallicafangirl: **Of coz he'd got fangirls, I am one of them! Woowee!! And I do want to post my list, but it is going to be like, 20pages. So... *shrug*

**Shin Hee Tae: **I would never give up this story! It's getting the most reviews ; ) But I agree that love is never easy, they won't give up, tho!

**kurtfan5678: **Crushed cinnamon sticks actually taste very good... *lick lips* Thanks!

**Amethyst9: **Thanks! I did have fun in Singapore. I am sorry for the late update, please keep on reading!

**Teri: **Oh diets? Ohhhhh I can't stand them. Not that I don't need them but I can never be on diet. Poor you! Hope you succeed~

**The-Rouge-Thorn: **Thanks! They are human beings after all, with magic or not, but love conquers all! Please continue reading!

**Ezmerelda: **Am I? But I do think the previous chapter looks too much like a filling chapter. Hopefully this one gets better!

**Tammy: **Yay! I got the first reader of my book before it was written! Lol. Hope you like this as well!

**Louise Luvgood: **More for you, enjoy!

**Lyonesse Le Fay: **Thankies! I will continue, enjoy!

**Nixter: **It won't end yet, don't worry! 

**Evanescence Maiden: **Hope you like this chapter as well~

**Gryffindorgirl13:** I know it's not soon enough but I tried! Enjoy!

**Erikalya Arvanesse: **Is it getting confusing??? Sorry! I must be dropping too many hints here and there and sometimes I forgot them too... all would be explained, I promise!

**crazy2: **Apparently you haven't reviewed yet, luckily you remembered! YaY!

**zoya-3: **This is not often enough, sorry! Hope you like this!

**sans un interdit: **If that's true I would say every single chapter is bad! Lol. Enjoy!

**evilbon32: **Your review became one of the ones that I really look forward to. Do cinnamon and Hermione get together a lot? I thought that's chocolate? Lol. Please read and write more!

**Bullwinkle435: **I liked your story alright, so if you don't update... *cracks fists* Lol.

**Real-fan05:** Oh don't be like that. Everyone on ff.net is awesome. In some way or another. Please keep on reading!

**Cecily: **There will be some 'get together' in this chappie. Read and find out more!

----------

"Believe me, it's not gonna work."

"Oww c'mon. How would you know if you don't try?"

"I just do. Nothing tames this, really."

"This is a new _and _improved formula!"

The two voices continued to argue, breaking the morning's tranquility. The sun was starting to shine through the sparkling French windows, across the equally well-polished wooden floor, and onto a white pine door, on which a golden doorknob stood proudly. The conversation flowed from behind the door.

"Last time I tried using magic, I spent nearly four hours taming it and as much time _un-_taming it. You see, it requires an extremely powerful spell to control this stuff," Hermione curled a piece of hair around her index finger with a grimace. "And- what? Oh. Yeah, it worked." She added reluctantly.

Jan simply smirked and put down the bottle of shampoo she had been toying with.

"This is _your _wedding!" Hermione threw her hands into the air. "_I_ don't have to look pretty!"

"This is mywedding so _I_ got to decide how you look," Jan answered swiftly, pushing the younger girl into the bathroom. "You do your hair with magic or I'll do it for you, _Muggle style._" 

Hermione barely had time to register that Jan knew the word 'Muggle' before being locked in the bathroom together with a whole range of hair gel, spray and styling products.

"And don't forget to try on those clothes in the cupboard," Jan shouted with obvious glee.

_Clothes? _Hermione turned and pulled open a gigantic cupboard, in which gowns and dresses in every imaginable color gleamed at her. Parvati, or even Lavender, would have squealed in delight, but all Hermione did was moan, loudly and painfully, resembling Crookshanks when he was being stepped upon.

----------

To Hermione's great gratification, Jan needed to be dressed in something much more complicated. Layer upon layer of silk and chiffon clothing were pulled over her slim figure, puff upon puff of glittering rouge onto her face. 

"I am not putting more of that stuff on!" Jan protested loudly.

"Stop fidgeting, would you?" Jan's mother, who had came over to help, said impatiently with a box of eye shadow in her hand. "I said- oww! Stand still!" She put down the eye shadow and began to rub Jan's face vigorously with a wet towel, muffling the bride's complains.

Hermione stifled her sniggers with a cough. Jan glared at her from behind the towel and her mother's fussing hands.

"So you think it is funny?" She demanded, slumping beside her cousin on the couch. Her mother had gone down to monitor the decoration and setting of the garden, giving her a rare and thus, very welcomed rest. Hermione shook her head unconvincingly.

Jan sighed. "I never realize that weddings are so tiring."

"Oh? But you got to wear all kinds of pretty gowns and cosmetics and jewelry and glass slippers, " Hermione could barely hide her grin.

"You sure you like this one? I have got another cupboard-full of dresses for you to try on," Jan said, fingering the other girl's pink gown. Hermione's grin disappeared immediately.

"This one is fine," she answered wearily. It took her forever to find this relatively normal dress amidst all the sparkling ones, and she wished not to repeat that experience.

"Why don't you choose those strapless ones?" Jan wondered idly. It surprised her when Hermione came out from the bathroom wearing this dress. It was not ugly, of course, but when put among strapless, curve-hugging, breath-taking clothes, one was bound to miss it. It was a long gown, reaching Hermione's ankles, with two short sleeves and a square neckline embroided by tiny pearls. Even the color was not spectacular. It was of a pale pink, even reaching pearly white, like the color of the sky when the sun had just risen, and it was not glittering.

"It's not like I have anything to hang them on," Hermione explained with a laugh, gesturing her chest. "I mean, it is as if I had never went through puberty. I don't grow tall, I don't have curves, I don't have pimples-"

"That you can't complain," Jan interrupted.

"-so I didn't choose those tight ones. You know, nothing to show," Hermione continued, shifting in the dress. It was still too tight to her liking.

"Right," Jan noted, observing her. In her straight dress, Hermione looked like she did not have a curve or whatsoever.

"Anything wrong with my dress?" It actually looked quite nice to her. _At least it fits, _she thought. Unlike some others in the cupboard. She was not going to squeeze herself into one of those.

"It's just so... ordinary. And your hair!"

"What about my hair?" She thought the spell went quite well, though her bangs were still curly. She dared not cast as strong a spell this time- she could not afford another four hours for the removal of it.

"Hmmm," Jan bent over and Hermione had the queer feeling of being an artwork waiting to be criticized. "Some curlers! You can share mine," Jan concluded, snapping her fingers.

"No way! I did not straighten this to let you curl it up again!"

Before Jan could answer, her mother burst through the door, and shrieked, "JANICA! YOUR DRESS!"

----------

She never imagined it would be this grand. The wedding, that was. People, magical or Muggle alike, were flooding all over the place, greeting relatives or long lost friends. _There has to be more than three hundred people_, she estimated. There were sounds of silk dresses brushing pass each other, the men's suits were all pressed and trimmed, snips of gossip in different dialects could be heard here and there. She looked down at her straight pink gown and black slippers, then wiggled her toes. She felt very out of place.

"C'mon dear, the ceremony's 'bout to begin," her father tugged at her elbow. She nodded and started to follow, but nearly tripped. She hated high-heeled slippers.

"Careful," her mother reached out and helped her. Hermione could not be more grateful to her mother's lightning reflexes. 

The three of them swam through the waves of guests and managed to get the seats on the second row. The room was huge, and an altar had been set up in the middle of it. Lilies and daffodils and lilacs were hung from the domed ceiling, on the altar and the benches, and even on the guests. Hermione graciously accepted her wreath of white lilies when a little boy approached her shyly with it. At the entrance there was an arch of flowers and peach ribbons. The whole room glowed with a pure sense of tranquility and peacefulness.

The guests slowly filed into the room, and the wedding march was played by someone on the organ. Hermione had always loved the organ, it reminded her of the children choir that she used to part of, and the chapel that they sang in. The march went on and on, until everyone was settled down, and the doors were closed. The groom entered with the reverend from the side door, and stood in front of the altar. This was the first time Hermione saw Charles, her going-to-be cousin-in-law. He was smiling, but his forehead was shining as a film of sweat developed, despite the well ventilation of the room. He put his hand into the pocket, only to take it out again; he shifted from one foot to another as his green eyes darted from the altar to the vault then to the uncompromising doors. The old reverend smiled and patted his hand. He returned a toothy grin.

Hermione counted the times the march was played. Once, twice, thrice. As the song marched on she felt her chest tightened, and she watched the doors with the same anxiety as Charles. _Come on, come on, _she said in her head. And everyone else must be doing the same, for the door flew open suddenly.

It was too bright for Hermione to make out anything. But she held her breath as the elegant shadow of Janica slowly walked in, light beaming from behind her, escorted by her father. As she slowly came into view, Hermione realized how pretty her cousin was. Like a princess, she glowed behind the piece of mysterious gauze. Roses could have bloomed at her feet as she approached her future husband.

They stood together and turned towards the altar. All Hermione could see was Jan's white gown, almost twice her height. She could picture herself in such a gown, with a man she would vow to love forever beside her, in front of a sacred altar, ready to make a sacred vow, to be linked forever and ever. 

_Him, _her mind sighed. 

"Dearly beloved," the old reverend began, and Hermione snapped back to attention. "We are gathered together here in the sight of God to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted of God in Paradise, and into which holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined.

"Therefore if any man can shew any just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter for ever hold his peace..."

----------

"Wilt the have this man to be thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt the obey him, and serve him, love, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?"

"I will," promised Jan quietly.

The reverend made a gesture for Jan to began her vow. She took a deep breath and started shakily.

"I, Janica Abigail Granger, take thee, Charles Rafael Ringo, to my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to be bonny and buxom at bed and at board, to love and to cherish, till death us depart, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereunto I plight thee my troth."

With this the reverend placed their hands together and handed them their blessed rings. Charles slipped the ring onto Jan's fourth finger and she did the same. 

"You may kiss now," the reverend announced. Charles lifted his bride's gauze and kissed her on the lips. Hermione watched and felt a hot tear rolled down, but she brushed it away. She turned and saw that her mother was crying with her aunt. Her father placed a strong hand around her shoulder.

The guests slowly stood up and vacated the hall, out onto the sunny lawn. Hermione straightened her dress and followed her parents. There would be a party in the garden. The guests anticipated excitedly on the lawn, chatting and standing on tiptoes to see the closed doors of the hall. When they opened, the crowd cheered and popped confetti onto the newly-wed. Both were beaming and wearing the biggest smiles in their life. The groom had his hand on his bride's waist, and they kissed again.

Hermione watched and felt her eyes getting hot. The rain of confetti continued, like some endless colorful snow. She picked a blue one from her hair, and saw that it was in the shape of a star.

"Hermione!" Someone called. She looked up, startled, as a bunch of daisies landed into her hands. The guests cheered as Jan moved over and pulled her into a hug. 

"I am _so_ happy for you!" Hermione exclaimed into her cousin's ears, as if it was not obvious enough. "You are a grown-up now!"

"Oh, Piggy," Jan tightened the embrace. Both cried and laughed.

Hermione pulled away after a minute as the guests started to walk across the lawn to the other side of the garden, where tables were placed and food was served. "Your mascara's all smudged," she pointed out.

"And your nose's all red," Jan replied, not minding her make-up a bit. "Oh! Look at the flowers!"

Sure enough, the bunch of daisies did not survive the bone-crushing hug. Hermione chuckled and picked up a fallen petal from the front of her gown. 

"The bride's bunch of flower signified blessings. It's very auspicious," Jan explained. "Your love life is about to look up." She winked.

Hermione laughed and brushed the comment off.

----------

Janica's father was Hermione's father's younger brother. When Jan and Hermione walked over, their parents were sharing a table. The fathers were discussing politics and golf and something equally boring. The mothers were talking about the decor of the party.

"Why Ada, I do think the hanging balloons' a great touch," Rachel Granger looked around at the balloons of assorted soft colors. Jan's mother, Adrian Granger, smiled appreciatively.

"I think so, it's actually Charles idea. That sweet boy, he knows what Janica likes," she replied, glancing at Jan's direction. Jan blushed.

"And the ribbons! How did you hang them in the trees?"

"Well, that's my idea, but I must not take all credits! Wayne helped me here. I don't believe you've met Wayne?" 

It was not until then Hermione saw the other boy sitting together with them. He looked up from his book at the sound of his name, and his glasses slipped further down his nose.

"This is Wayne Brown. He's Charles buddy and his best man," Ada introduced as Wayne nodded curtly and returned to his book. Hermione remembered him- the boy sitting in front of her during the ceremony. 

"Jan, my nephew came. Would you want to meet him?" Charles popped out of nowhere suddenly, "Oh hullo Mum, Dad," he added and smiled at Jan's parents. Ada returned the smile and pushed Jan.

"Go and be a good host, Janica," she instructed. Charles helped Janica to her feet and the couple left. The conversation resumed between the mothers, changing from the ribbons to the bouquets to the floating candles. Hermione placed an elbow onto the table, supporting her face with it. She listened with half a mind, while looking around wearing a bored expression. 

The garden's beauty was beyond description. Hermione had not been to plenty of wedding parties, but she was sure this was the prettiest. White and violet ribbons were hung in trees, round tables were scattered over the lawn, each had a dish of floating candles on them. Balloons of various shapes and colors were everywhere. At the far end of the garden a long table was set up, on which scrumptious looking snacks and refreshments were served. Soft saxophone music was played in the background. Glamorous people walked up and down the aisles, talking in hushed voices. 

Hermione could feel her eyes drooping. She had not slept much last night, thinking up traits of Severus that attracted her. It was harder than it sounded, and she did not make a very long list, unlike Jan...

"Ouch," something heavy dropped onto her toe and she sat up straight, wide awake. Her father looked over, eyes enquiring. She shook her head.

"Sorry," a voice apologized. She looked up and in teary eyes discovered it was Wayne, the quiet boy with thick glasses.

"It's okay," she lied. He bent down to pick up an encyclopedia-sized book.

"What book is that?" She asked, curious at the shear thickness of the book. He placed it onto the table. 

"A Thousand Practical Experiments On Muggles Studies and The Theories Behind Them," Wayne whispered so that people around them could not hear. Hermione's eyes widened in interest. The only wizard she knew who was interested in Muggles was Mr. Weasley.

"Wow," she did not hide her astonishment. "You don't think Muggles are boring?"

"They are interesting enough," was his reply, and his eyes began to spark, not unlike Mr. Weasley in front of a plug. 

"How old are you?" She wanted to know. A boy interested in Muggles Studies instead of Quidditch! She had not thought it possible.

"Nineteen. I graduated from Hogwarts two years ago. Am a Ravenclaw," he flashed her a smile. It was the first smile he showed that day to anyone, and it brightened up his young face incredibly. Hermione gasped at him. Nineteen? He looked like he was sixteen or something. He pushed his glasses back up and smiled at her again before returning to the book.

"Is it any good?" She interrupted his reading, partly out of interest and partly out of boredom. He looked up.

"It is great. Locks, for example. Muggles locked their things up with locks and opened them with keys. We wizards can seal by magic, but why do we still have locks? Is that an evidence of Muggle influence on the wizarding community?"

She nodded and relaxed as he did not seem offended by her disturbance.

"This book covers a lot of controversial subjects, like what is the purpose of the secrecy of the wizarding world?" He continued, flipping the pages. "Are Muggles influencing us, in however subtle ways? Are Muggles and wizards actually from the same root? If so, why can't they use magic?..."

----------

After an hour of heated discussion, the two of them got quite thirsty.

"I mean, what's the purpose of inventing computers? They've got books for information, mails for communication-"

"Because Muggles don't like anything without electricity," interjected Hermione, who held up a hand. "You know what? I think I will go grab a drink before we continue, why don't you go get us some sandwiches?"

"Ham?"

"Egg salad, please," she replied and stood up.

Her journey to the refreshment table was one of the longest in her life. For one thing, there were innumerous tables and people between her and the drinks. Her fragile shoes were also killing her. When her high heels contacted with the hard soil, she felt like she had not anything on and was walking bare feet. Finally she made it to the table, where goblets of golden champagne stood. She took two cautiously and began to make her way back.

_I will never wear slippers again, _she swore to herself. The damp grass tickled her sole, and as though that was not bad enough, she now needed to balance a full glass of champagne in each hand. Taking a rather abrupt turn, her left ankle twisted and she tripped forward, pouring the entire two glasses of drink onto a man.

"Oh no!" She cried, half from the reckless pain that flared from her ankle, half from plain embarrassment at the sight of a soggy white shirt. "I am sorry sir; I am n- PROFESSOR!"

It was indeed Severus Snape. He looked incredulously from the enlarging spot of champagne on his chest, to the girl who was standing oddly with two empty goblets in hand.

"What are _you _doing here?" They voiced simultaneously. 

She muttered a spell under her breath and his shirt was clean again. It was funny, in a strange way, to see him in the middle of a sea of balloons and festive moods. And in a Muggle tuxedo, too. She mentally added to her list that she liked the way he looked in a tuxedo. He was also wearing a lilac wreath and a sulky expression.

"What are you doing here? Why aren't you in Hogsmeade with your, _friends?_" He repeated coldly, recovering from the initial shock.

"The bride, Janica? She's my cousin and I've got permission to come to this wedding," she replied and shifted to another foot, only when she did that her ankle screamed in pain. She gasped.

He watched as the girl gasped and a fleet look of pain passed her face. Something tugged his heart. He sneezed.

"What about you, sir? What are you doing here?" She could have left, and she probably should. But all that evasiveness- she was damn tired of it, and decided to drop it, at least until they were back in Hogwarts.

"Charles' my student," he replied shortly, and sneezed again.

She merely raised an eyebrow, questioning.

"He's also my- uncle," he closed his eyes, as if saying the word 'uncle' hurt him a lot.

She let out a giggle, but quickly stifled it seeing his threatening glare. She continued giggling in her head though, and reminded herself to add this to the list. "Merlin! So you're the nephew Charles' talking about?"

"He called me what? He called me _what_?" His voice was pulled up a pitch.

"His nephew. Say, how can he be your uncle, when he's what, ten years younger than you?" She wanted to laugh, it had to be the funniest thing she ever heard.

"Stop poking your Griffindor nose into my business," he hissed, suddenly furious. Who did she think she was, jumping out like this and throwing him questions? 

Her smile disappeared like a rainbow in the sun. "Why, I am sorry, _professor!_" With that she turned her heels and began to leave, heart bleeding. But she could not really turn her heels, spraining an ankle and all, so the second she did so her whole body fell forwards. As the grassy lawn rushed up to meet her, she was suddenly yanked by a pair of strong hands.

"Hey you alright? I have been looking all over for you," Wayne helped her to her feet. She winced. "Your ankle's hurt?" She nodded.

"C'mon," he dragged her arm over his shoulder and heaved. He looked much taller and stronger than he was when not sitting by the table, burying himself into a book. Together they returned to their table slowly.

----------

Severus watched as the pair walked away, and felt another sneeze coming. It was not entirely his fault that she had sprained her ankle, but somehow he felt responsible. When she tripped he had wanted to reach out and save her, but that boy with glasses beat him to it. He strode back to his own seat.

It was a boring party. But then, he was never crazy about parties. He would not have came if not for Charles owling him every two days. That boy, his _uncle,_ could be a real pain sometimes. He tapped his fingers on the table in a way that he knew would get on someone else's nerves. No one would join him anyways. Sure, this Muggle clothing was no where near intimidating compared to his robes, and the wreath certainly took off some of his menace, but his scowl alone would be more than enough. There weren't many who did not flee from him, like gazelles from the sight of a cheetah. _ Charles' bride was an exception,_ he thought with a frown. She looked positively surprised to meet such an old 'nephew', but when she knew his name she laughed and shook his hand.

_There was another exception, _he thought darkly, eyes darting towards Granger. He almost did not recognize her. Her hair was straight for a change, and it was pulled back idly into a ponytail. Instead of her usual black or red school robes, she was wearing a long pearl dress. The white wreath she had around her neck made her look pinker in the face than usual. _But that was probably because of that boy,_ a sudden sour though crossed his mind. She was talking with that skinny boy who had thick glasses that covered half of his face. He looked familiar, perhaps a past student?

How could he not notice such a disgusting past student? He would have given him detentions that he would never forget, ones that keep visiting him in his worse nightmares. Or he would have kicked him out of school. Such a pervert! Why didn't Dumbledore notify him of such a perverted student? His arm is hanging on Granger. His whole _body's _hanging on Granger! And that stupid Griffindor that called herself the brightest witch of the century. Had she no alertness? He's _harassing_ her and all she do is _laugh,_ for goodness sakes!

Severus marveled at his own self-control. Several times the bubbling rage nearly boiled over, and he had wanted to walk over and yank her out of his hands, or to hex him into hell. But he managed to stay where he was, doing nothing but sulk. The following hours turned into the longest in his life, a torment that he could not escape from, for no matter how he tried, his eyes would look up from the bouquets to the chatting pair. He shouted and stormed in his head, but no, the voice of reasoning had gone.

_Coward! That's what you are! _He would snarl. _A big stinky coward!_

He did not pay attention to the sky as it melted from blue to orange. He did not pay attention to the music and the food and the meaningless racket people were making around him. He did downed a lot of champagne though. As the night crept near, the candles shone on people's faces. He watched the dancing flame pensively. He could no longer make out the faces next to him, let alone a girl's fifty feet away. 

The party would end. Soon. It was only with this thought that he managed to _survive_ through it. And he could go back to his dungeons, his peaceful dungeons, free from annoying parties and perverts and girls. Especially annoying Griffindors.

----------

It was a very enjoyable party for Hermione. Despite her injury, everything went fine. Wayne was not only nice, but he was full of wit and humor, which made him a perfect company. They talked about Muggles, their families, their future plans, everything. She was so happy she nearly forgot to leave.

"Oh, what I wouldn't give to talk with you more," Hermione said when the party was over.

"There's always another time," Wayne patted her shoulder. "Owl me whenever you like." 

They hugged and Wayne left to help clean up the garden. Hermione sighed.

"Hermione," her mother said. "Go and say goodbye to Janica and Charles. Thank them for their invitation."

"Hurry up, we need to catch the bus," her father added. She obliged without another word.

After many goodbyes and hugs, the Grangers left the mansion. The night was getting cold, and Hermione cuddled closer to her father while they waited beside the road.

"Mum, I can really go to the Leaky Cauldron myself," Hermione repeated for the third time of the night, in a slightly exasperated tone. Her mother shook her head again. "Look, it's getting late and you should really go home earlier."

"You know, she's right dear," Samuel Granger said to his wife. "We do need to work tomorrow. The appointments, remember?"

"I am not letting my lil' girl on a bus late at night alone!" Rachel Granger replied shrilly. 

"Excuse me, but maybe I can help," a silky voice appeared and the three of them jumped.

----------

"Excuse me," he did not know what he was doing. "But maybe I can help." Help? Help what? Babysitting a Griffindor?

"Who are you?" The man, whom he assumed to be Granger's father, spoke.

"I am teaching in Hogwarts," he explained, though his mind was screaming at him to forget it. "I can bring Miss Granger back."

The woman, who must be Granger's mother, looked at her daughter and asked, "Hermione, is this true?"

The Griffindor nodded silently, pursing her lips. Unappreciative brat.

"Well, in that case, thank you very much Mr-" Mr. Granger said with a slight bow.

"Snape," Severus answered emotionlessly.

"Thank you Mr. Snape," Mrs. Granger nodded and turned to the girl. "That settles, Hermione. You are going back with your professor."

"What? Mommy-"

"Be good, sweetie," her mother swooped down and hugged her before kissing her on the forehead.

"Mommy! You c-"

"Don't read more than four hours a day, apple pie," her father pulled her into his arms and kissed her too. "And write to us often!"

"Dad!" He could see Granger getting desperate now, and felt strangely gratified.

"Bye bye, Hermione," the parents smiled at their daughter and left.

The two of them stood beside the road, a foot apart. He tucked his hands uncomfortably into his pockets. What was he thinking? He could have apparated to any Floo-connected fireplace, but now he had to wait for a bloody bus with a Griffindor. What was worse- she was pouting. He wanted to smack himself in the head.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw that she was shivering. That thin dress of hers- another steely evidence that she had no alertness. Now he wanted to smack her in the head too. Fortunately, the bus chose this exact moment to arrive. He started to board when he saw that she was not following. Frowning, he extended his hand.

She shoved it away. Stiffly, she edged towards the stairs, dragging her bad ankle with her. He stood and watched her struggled onto the bus before boarding himself.

The bus was empty. No one else was on it except the driver, who was swaying to some music heard only by himself. A pale blue light glowed from a single long bulb, casting an eerie glow in the cabin. He sat in the last row, leaning against the window. She sat quietly beside him. It was not much different from the Knight Bus, he noted, only less bumpy. That did not prevent his head hitting the window now and then.

She was so quiet, like they were in one of his detentions. She was probably mad at him for doing this. Why wouldn't she? He was pretty mad at himself. But for reasons unbeknownst to himself, he felt the need to do it, to protect her. It was an instinct of a teacher, he concluded, to protect a student. He could not possibly let a female student return to school alone, could he?

It was a long ride. A long, boring, winding ride. The air in the bus was stuffy. He suppressed a sneeze, and looked around. Was there any way that this window would open? There was this silver handle. It wouldn't hurt to try...

----------

Hermione wanted to give him a swift kick on the shin right there and then. How dare he! And she could not believe her parents left her just like this. It was all his bloody fault!

She was cold and wished she had brought along a coat. She could ask for his of course, he at least owed her warmth. But she could not bring herself to it. He was probably still mad at her nosiness this afternoon and would bite her head off if she spoke again. He did offer to help her on the bus, but that was a phony act. She could see right through it, he was trying to make her feel weak and inferior.

_Grrrrrrr. _She growled inwardly. The bus was eerie, but she was more angry than scared. Her ankle hurts. It must have swelled up like an egg now. She slumped into the seat. Even the seat was stinky. He was next to her alright, but all she wanted to do now was to punch him. She slowly balled her fists-

Suddenly the emergency door flew open and a tiny bell went off. Severus, who was leaning against the window, fell through it promptly.

"Nooooo!" She grabbed his hand- she barely caught it- and pulled with all her might. She never knew she could be _this _powerful. Her fingers entwined with his and up he sat again, and she closed the door. The bell stopped.

The driver did not even give them a glance.

"Are you committing suicide? Or are you illiterate? Is that it, illiteracy?" She wanted to scream but it came out more like a moan. Droplets of sweat were forming on her brows. " 'Do not push handle unless in case of emergency', can't you _read?_"

He did not say anything. One minute he was sitting there playing with the handle out of boredom, the next minute he was facing a rushing gravel road. It was not a pleasant memory, one that he would not forget soon.

He had not let go of her hand. She looked at their hands and felt hers sweating as well. Suddenly the insanity of the whole incident hit, and a fit of giggles overtook her.

"It's not funny," he rolled his eyes and said, slightly out of breath.

"Come on, you know it is," she giggled some more.

"Okay, so it was pretty insane," he admitted grudgingly, and the corner of his mouth twitched.

"I bet Wayne would have more common sense than you," she said between giggles, and immediately wished she had not. He let go of her hand and turned to the window again.

They sat in silence for another three minutes before Severus broke it with a sneeze.

"You should not wear this," Hermione whispered, taking the lilac wreath from him. He did not object, but sneezed once more. She handed him a tissue. 

"Charles gave it to- to- accchoo! Me," he cleaned his nose with the piece of tissue.

"Your allergic to lilac," she stated simply, and put away the withering wreath.

The bus' engine roared, and they fell silent again. His shoulder accidentally bumped into hers.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"Hey, my cousin married your uncle," she said in a pathetic attempt to start a conversation.

"Yeah."

"Does that- make us related or something?"

"Not in the faintest sense!" He replied, sounding genuinely terrified of the idea.

"Gee, that's comforting," she retorted, trying to sound sarcastic. Only that she really was happy that they were not related.

"My grandfather married another woman after my grandmother died. The woman gave birth to Charles. That made him my mother's brother, though a lot younger. Therefore he's my uncle," he explained without knowing why he was doing so.

Hermione listened carefully. He was talking about himself, something about his past. She used to wonder whether he had a past or not- he was so tight-mouthed about it. She liked the way he talked about his past- another item to add onto the growing list.

----------

He offered his hand to her again when they were getting off the bus. This time, Hermione took it and walked as graciously as possible. He smirked. Typical Griffindors.

They flooed together on account of her injury. She clung to him and this somehow lessened the nauseating feeling of flooing. However, this seemed to distract Severus a bit and they got out of a wrong fireplace in Hogsmeade, which meant they had to walk. She groaned when she heard this. 

But soon she quitted complaining. The night was beautiful, as cool wind shuffled through leaves and stars hung from the sky like lamps. The moon seemed to be bigger than usual. She and Severus walked in a speed so slow that a snail could have beaten them in a running contest. She was holding his arm and grasping it tightly every other step. Finally she could not walk anymore.

"Maybe I will just crawl back school," she said in a pitiful voice. Severus frowned at the small figure on the ground.

"Walk now, it's only five more minutes," he ordered but she did not budge.

"See you tomorrow sir, I will be at the gate by tomorrow if I crawl really fast," she continued in that pleading voice of hers. 

Without another word he picked her up, not gently, but he made sure that she was safe in his arms. "You will be paying for this."

"Pay?" She was getting drowsy immediately. His scent seemed to be hypnotizing.

"Detentions," he looked down and scowled when he found that she had snuggled against his chest and closed her eyes. He then sighed and quickened his pace.

----------

They arrived Hogwarts and Severus headed towards the Griffindor tower without anyone seeing him. He stopped at the Fat Lady's portrait.

"Password, Miss Granger?"

"Hmmmmmm?" She buried her face into his robes.

"The password for your dormitory, Miss," he shook her. She seemed to take his arms as her dorm.

"Fluffy marshmallows," she groaned.

The portrait swung open, revealing a hole of an entrance. Severus put her down, his hands numb.

"Here you are Miss Granger, goodnight."

"Goodnight," she said groggily, and placed her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He was too startled to react. She kissed him on the cheek. "I still like you."

With that she disappeared into the common room. Severus stood outside the Griffindor dormitory, touching the spot where she had just kissed. The Fat Lady sniggered as he strode down the hallway.

----------

A/N: THE NEXT CHAPPIE WILL BE THE END AND IT WILL HAVE PLENTY OF DRUGS IN IT!!!!

Not really. But I have to get your attention somehow. Please would you all go and read my story Tangling Dilemma? It is not getting as much reviews as I hoped. I thought it was a pretty neat story! Please, I am on my knees... Please tell me what you think.....

Bet none of you see that coming, eh? Sevvie having a family and all? Haha. The element of surprise! I loved giving surprises!

Anonymous reviewers, leave your email so I can notify you of updates! I have also started to fix my past chapters. Just a typo here and there...


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue, yada yada yada.

A/N: I have truly no excuses left. I have three WIP, and I try uploading them once a week. That makes me updating this almost once a _month._ Gad! This chapter is _longggg_. Enjoy! *mutters* But don't think it is going to become a habit or something...   
I have to apologize for putting that remark last time saying that this is the last chapter. It is not. I am sort of desperate to get people to read my other story "The Tangling Dilemma". But hey, that worked! Some of you did go and reviewed! *big kiss*

**Real-fan05: **How on Earth did you get stitches in your lip? Don't laugh too much, that may burst.

**Bullwinkle435: **Thanks for reviewing my other story, I appreciated that very, very much!

**ShinHee Tae: **He still _looks _like a bastard, but is he?? Heh heh. Read to find out!

**Teri: **Of course it's not the last, but I need to get your attention somehow. Sorry for the typos, I have no beta and my chapters usually got out in a rush...

**The-Rouge-Thorn: **Of course Wayne's not as good as Sevvie, and don't worry, Hermione is stuck with Sevvie. Ha ha. *cackles*

**Tabii: **Thanks, and sorry for the late update!

**Queen-Ditz: **Ahh, it is not the last chapter, don't worry. I am just trying to get people over to review my other story... *ashamed* Sorreeee...

**Brokenwhisper: **Sorry for the long breaks! I really am trying my best...

**Ezmerelda:** Yeah, we are kinda stupid this way, blurting out truths when we are half-awake. If you liked the ending of last chappie, this ending will make you fly. Tee hee hee.

**Thunder-Goddess-905: **Glad you like the story, keep reading!

**Absinthe Faerie: **Aww, ff.net is so stupid. It's always overloading. Please be patient and keep on reading, though!

**Louise Luvgood: **Wayne's not a pervert, it is merely Sevvie's jealousy in work. Hehe, that's just cute of him. Btw, thanks for reviewing my other stories!

**br*tney: **Have you already read this? You haven't reviewed! *pouts* Lol. Keep reading from now on!

**HunnySnowBunny: **Am sorry for the typos. I wrote the last chapter in midnight and in a rush. Glad you like the story!

**sapphire: **Again, I apologize for saying that this will be the last chapter. I'm just trying to attract people's attention so that they'd review my other story.

**evilbon32: **Lol, so true! I should make a record of my best reviews and yours would certainly take up a chapter or two. Keep them coming! That heartless bastard comment... I borrowed it in this chapter. I have more fluff in this chapter for you, and hope you find as much fun in here as in the last chapter. Ps. Your friend's idea is a fabulous one, I'd like _my _friends to do that to me during my wedding! *takes note*

**Raclswt: **Dances, yes... that would come soon. Be patient!

**Mione Malfoy: **Here's more, keep reading!

**Tearoses: **Hi, welcome back! I missed you, did you miss my story? Hee hee, keep on reading!

**Procyon Marie: **I will try to read more to improve, thanks! I will read your story once I have time, I promise!

**Noriko M. Chijinu: **Yeah, I came up with that idea when I was on a bus bored to death and staring at that handle, thinking, Hmm, what would happen if I pull that? Hehe. Your friend's (almost) as sane as I am.

**Colleen: **Sorry for the late updates, herez more!

Man, it feels great to have so many reviews. My target for this chapter is 200... are 26 reviews too much to ask? *eyelashes battering* Anyway, I hope by the end of this chapter you can all go, "Aww, finally!".

----------

"The problem is, I don't know what happened after that," Hermione said, her voice muffled as she pulled her sleeping gown over her head.

"You mean you can't remember anything after he picked you up?" Lavender asked incredulously, yanking several robes out of her trunk and spreading them on the bed.

"Yeah. I mean, I _do_ remember vaguely telling him I liked him..." 

"Good gracious, you did that?! Hey, should I wear the black robe with a rose embroidered on the collar, or should I wear the plain one?"

"The plain one. I _think_ I told him. Or did I kiss him?" Worries notable in her voice, Hermione started fumbling for her robes.

"Kissed him? You _kissed _him?!" Lavender nearly choked on the question. "Where?"

"On the cheeks, of course," Hermione replied exasperatedly.

At that moment, Ginny banged into the room. "Kiss? Who kissed?" The other two girls squealed and dived behind their respective beds.

"Ginny! Can't you knock before you come in?" Lavender chided from behind her bed.

Hermione nodded though she knew the other girls could not see her. "Yeah, we're changing!"

Ginny pouted and said, "Why can't I come in if you two are changing together? Or is it something that you two don't want me to know?"

"Oh, honestly Ginny," Hermione stood up, fully dressed. "We're not facing each other when we change. Now help me find my badge."

As they began to search for Hermione's badge, Lavender too finished dressing. Pulling her hair into a ponytail, she cooed, "Of course we aren't hiding something from you, Ginny-baby. We're just talking about last night when Hermy came back in the arms of Snape."

Hermione blushed furiously as her friends laughed. Ginny's face was red from awe and excitement. "How'd she do that?"

"She sprained her ankle," Lavender started to fill Ginny in with the details. "And can you believe it? She can't remember whether she kissed him or told him she liked him, because she _fell asleep_."

"Whoa!" Ginny could hardly suppress her giggles. "Maybe she did _both!_"

"Oh shut up, you two," Hermione said irritably. "And my ankle isn't hurting anymore Ginny, thanks for asking." With that she began to limp towards the door. Ginny and Lavender snatched up their bags and hurried along.

----------

"I am sorry," Ginny apologized and offered to take Hermione's schoolbag. The three Griffindors were walking down the corridor leading to the Great Hall.

"Did you really kiss him?" asked Lavender, who was acting as a walking stick, supporting Hermione as she limped forward, grimacing.

"I don't know. Maybe it was just a dream," Hermione frowned as her bad ankle touched the ground, and clutched Lavender's arm a little tighter. The other girl did not protest. 

"What if you really did?" Ginny wanted to know.

"That'd be a nightmare," Hermione said, trying to hop on her good leg. "I mean, it is one thing that he knew, it is another that I admitted it personally. I have been evading him since last week already, and if I did tell him, things would be really awkward." 

"Either way, we will know it soon enough," Lavender said conclusively, noticing the increasing students around them as they approached the Hall. "If you really did any of that, it would show on his face."

"If you did _this,_ he will probably be staring at you. If you did _that, _he will be sneering at you," Ginny tried imitating Lavender's riddle-style of talking.

The other two girls laughed and entered through the ceiling-to-floor door of the Great Hall. Hermione gave Ginny a friendly shove despite her ankle, and said, "he won't be in the Great Hall anyway."

Lavender stopped dead in her tracks. Hermione bumped into her.

"Uh, Hermy, I do think you did both."

----------

Severus glared at the three laughing Griffindors entering the Great Hall. Brown stopped without warning and Granger collided with her. She then looked up straight into his eyes, surprise evident in her own.

Who would not be surprised? He was not known to be a sociable person, and avoided meals in the Hall generally. But this morning when he got up, there was this urge to see her. Or rather, the urge to be disillusioned. After a night of twisting-and-turnings in bed, he was almost assured that what happened last night was merely one of his imaginations ran lose. 

However, the incident was so real, it played in his head as in front of his eyes right now: 

_"Goodnight," she said groggily, and placed her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. She kissed him on the cheek. "I still like you."_

He had heard it so clearly, and the spot on his face where her lips touched was still burning- surely an imagination could not feel so substantial?

He glared ceaselessly at the girl and noticed that she had not tended her ankle probably and was thus still limping. This sent another surge of anger through his veins. He took his mug and started to sip some coffee- he had heard that caffeine's quite powerful when it come to calming one's mind, and he definitely needed something to restrain him from storming over to the girl and pick her up to the infirmary.

"Ouch!" He yelped- the coffee was too hot. He clanked the mug back onto its saucer and swore under his breath while fumbling for his handkerchief.

"Here," he took the piece of tissue from Minerva. Her lips were twitching. "My, you're enjoying the beverage a little too much, aren't you?"

"Bloody coffee," he hissed at the mug of steaming drink.

Minerva's smile widened. "Oh, don't blame it. After all, it is me who poured more of it into your mug when you're... _lost_ in your stupor."

"I am notlost!" He started heatedly, turning to face Minerva. "I am just, er-"

"Meditating something really interesting, I am sure," the witch said, not in an unkindly manner, her eyes glittering, resembling Albus.

Severus realized he must have sounded like a boy caught stealing sweets. "Just weary, that's all." He turned away, focusing on the donut in his plate. He did not feel like eating anything. In fact, he did not feel like doing anything today. _And it's all her fault, _he thought gloomily, glancing at the girl sitting there with her friends at the Griffindor table. Her hair was frizzy again and was, oddly, more comfortable to his eyes than it did when it was straight. She was not looking at him- once he thought she almost did, but turned out she was looking at Hagrid and gave him a smile- that killed him. It really did.

"You care about that girl," a statement shook him out of his sour thoughts. He turned to face the very annoying expression on Minerva.

"What girl?" He asked, averting her gaze.

"Don't play dumb with me, Severus," chastised Minerva mildly, like to a student who did not know any better. "I am talking about Miss Granger, of course."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he replied, still not meeting her cat-like searching scrutiny, and sipped some coffee, carefully this time. "In any case, I do not believe myself to sink so low as to take an interest in a Griffindor."

"Don't play dumb with me, Severus," Minerva repeated, imperceptibly losing her patience. "Your eyes have betrayed you. Is it really so difficult to admit that you care about someone?"

"I don't care about no one," he answered stubbornly. _My eyes betraying me? _He snorted, and began to think Minerva knew more about Granger and this whole thing than he would wanted her to. Was she behind all this? As a joke? He immediately recalled a round, silver badge. _To cheat the House Cup, _his mind concluded. Typical sneaky, hypocritical Griffindors.

"Icare about you," Minerva said, touching his arm. "It is this easy. Why can't you say it?"

"Have you actually _seen_ me caring about somebody, Minerva?"

"Yes, I believe I have," she said, taking in his straighter back and the sad look that fleeted across his eyes.

"Minerva, I don't care. Can't you get it? I _don't _care," he whispered so that the other staff could not eavesdrop. "Now, if you would please excuse me." He brushed her hand off and swept out of the Hall in his usual cloak-billowing way, fully aware of her eyes on his back.

----------

Hermione sighed and exited the dungeon following her classmates. They were laughing and chatting away, nothing perturbing their blissful lives. She sighed again and began to climb the stairs.

It was one of those days that not even a Cheering charm could have made her happy. She smiled and even giggled at the right time, she passed her lessons, she answered her teachers' questions correctly- everything was so normal. But under all the normality, there was something heavy nagging at the back of her mind. What was that something, she could not tell.

Since this morning seeing Severus there in the Hall having breakfast, her 'something's wrong' alarm had gone off like mad. Their eyes met for a brief moment when she entered the Hall, and her friends were sniggering and telling her how he was not looking at anything else but her. She shot him a lot of furtive glances- once he almost caught her but she steered her gaze to Hagrid hastily and smiled at him- and blushed when she knew that he was indeed staring at her openly.

But she was under no illusion- he had not given her so much as a quick glance during double Potions. She must have offended him last night. Was it something she said? Or had she really confessed? How she wanted to have a pensive at hand now, though no matter what was the reason, it was an iron fact that he was ignoring her.

_Now we're even. Yeah, let's evade each other. _She mused and swallowed the lump in her throat difficultly. _Oh, tonight's detention's going to be great fun... _

"Back to earth, Hermy," Lavender was waving a drumstick in front of her. She blinked.

"You okay?" Harry asked across the table. Hermione smiled at him, she knew that he was not very well himself today- he just earned another week of detention with Umbridge.

"Of course I am okay," she rolled her eyes, and was relieved when her friends laughed, unaware of her inner turmoil. Only Lavender kept her eyes on her, with the sort of determination that Hermione was so familiar with.

She knew it would not be that easy with Lavender. She never managed to scrape through.

"I am good," she announced, leaving the table. 

"You've not touched anything yet, Hermione," Neville protested. She gave him a small smile and left.

----------

"Brilliant Hufflepuffs," he complained and inscribed a huge black cross over the whole essay. Putting down his quill, he touched his upper lip instinctively. Though it was not angrily red, it hurt enough. Was coffee erosive? His lip sure felt like it was slowly eaten away by some acid.

"Damn that Minerva-" a knock on the door interrupted what would have been his third grumpy tirade of the night.

"Come in," he acknowledged coldly, but tensed up like a deer hearing a twig snapped. Who was he fooling? He had been dreading for this moment. Picking up his quill again, he decided to focus on the essay in front of him. The black ink stung his eye.

Soft footsteps entered the dungeon, followed by a dull 'thud' as the door closed. He heard her unloading whatever reference books onto a desk. Unable to stop himself, he chanced a glance at her.

She was right there, so different from the girl last night who had straight hair, pink dress, cuddling in his arms-

_STOP! _He screamed at himself before that train of thought could go any further. Fortunately, she did not seem to notice the unusual film of perspiration developing on his forehead. In fact, she seemed to be taking a great interest in the meagre stones that lined the dungeon floor- she had been staring at them so long. Just when he started to relax, she suddenly looked up- her two swimming, innocent eyes not blinking- and made him feel like a deer again, freezing in the headlights.

And it all began to flood in, an emotion he was so unused to, a feeling so pure, so true...

"What happened to your lips?" She asked, shaking them both out of the moment. In a second she was next to him, her hand reaching out.

"What are you doing?" He snarled and shot up suddenly, a hand covering his mouth. "There's nothing wrong with my lips, and you would address me properly, Miss Granger. Ten-" Crap, he forgot that he could not take any points from her. The silver badge pinned so proudly on her robes twinkled in the trembling light, jeering.

"I- I am sorry, sir. I have not been myself lately," she apologized lowly, her startled look still attached. She was so shocked when he stood up she had jumped two steps backwards. Now, a considerable amount of space stood between them- the way it should be.

_Not been herself lately! How ironic that sounds,_ he noted to himself dryly. Anyhow, he was grateful for the interruption. His Legilimency was really going out of control. But it was confirmed now. What she said last night was true...

"Sir? Sir?" She was calling, her eyes big with worry. He looked away.

"Get to work, Miss Granger," he snapped, sitting back down and determined not to pay her anymore attention.

----------

30th October

It never fails. One thing or another tends to happen on Halloween here at Hogwarts. But I believe this year will be the worst, as something's happening already, and it's not even Halloween yet. Oh, what should I do? I think I really did tell him I liked him last night! That's terrible, I can't believe I did something so stupid! Must be the champagne. 

But, oh, what am I going to do? He didn't look at me all night, let alone communicating. His lips looked slightly swollen and I only noticed just now. What if I did kiss him last night? _On the lips?_ And I almost touched him in detention! By Merlin's name, my life is officially over...

"I see that you're writing in your diary again," a voice said behind her ear. Hermione closed her diary shut hastily, and whirled to face Lavender, so quickly that she almost sprained her neck.

"You startled me!" She reproached. The other girl shrugged and settled herself on the bed. Crookshanks jumped onto her lap and rolled over, asking for a scratch on the tummy.

Granting the cat his wish, she rubbed his fuzzy tummy with a hand and said, "What's the matter, Hermy?"

Hermione sighed, again wishing for a more gullible and less sensitive friend. "He knew," she answered simply, not wanting to explain.

"I know he knew," Lavender frowned, shooing Crookshanks off her lap. "And?"

"And he's ignoring me whole night!" Hermione blurted out in frustration, feeling the corners of her eyes warming dangerously. "And he's not looking at me at all, like I am some teeny bug- a flea, I don't know- worth not his slightest attention, not even a swat! And-" She was cut off when Lavender pulled her into a hug. Before she knew it, she was sobbing in her friend's shoulder with one or two occasional incoherent sentence.

"I understand," she heard Lavender saying.

She sobbed harder, and stopped only to gasp for air. "And I thought he might, however small be that 'might', have a little feeling for me, carrying me and all-"

"He's a heartless bastard," Lavender cooed softly.

"Yes, and I fell for a heartless bastard."

"Everything's going to be fine," couldn't think of anything else better to say, Lavender said sympathetically. "It's going to be okay."

"It's not," she wailed, unable to be her reasonable self. "I told him, he knew!"

"Oh for goodness sakes, stop that crying will ya?" Parvati cried from her bed. "Someone's trying to read here."

"Be nice!" Lavender scolded, still patting Hermione's back. "she's devastated, can't you see?"

Parvati sat up in her bed and threw them a glance. "I sure don't see what's all the fuss about."

"Parvati!"

"I mean, okay, I don't know who this great guy is," Parvati continued, ignoring Lavender's disapproving glare. "But sounds like you've told him you liked him, or at least have done something. And he's ignoring you now. Did he tell you in the face that he doesn't want you?"

Hermione shook her head, causing another tear to fall onto her friend's soaked robe. 

"Did he tell you that he hated you?" -Hermione shook her head again- "Well, then this guy's in denial. I mean, if you confessed your undying love to him and he's not told you to sod off? He probably is in love with you, but he does not want to admit it now. Men are low creatures, Hermione, and they need to _savour_ the moment when girls told them they actually liked them. You continue pressing him a bit, and he will die for you in no time at all." With that impressive speech, she slipped back under her covers.

The two girls sat there, words failed them for a moment. 

"In an annoying, twisted sort of way, I think Parvati is right," Lavender said finally.

"What?" Hermione's head was still reeling with Parvati's theory.

"We're talking about Snape here. Not expelling you when you asked him to carry you, and kissed him afterwards? He must have some kind of feelings for you," Lavender reasoned, believing more of Parvati's talk by the minute.

Hermione could not help but allowed a small smile, thinking of that Slytherin witch she spent a detention with last time. What would Severus do if _she _kissed him? Not only ignoring her, this she was sure.

"Well, that settles," Lavender clapped happily. "You are continuing what you have been doing, Hermy."

"I am?" She raised an eyebrow. 

"What's the point of acting if you would stop once he knew?" Lavender replied, then fidgeting a bit, she added, "I kept sending valentines to Professor Lupin after I told him."

----------

Severus regarded the tiny container on his desk. He knew who put it there: he was about to exit his office when he heard footsteps rustling in the adjoining classroom. With a handy spell he allowed light to penetrate through the wooden door- only on his side, of course- and saw Granger placing the container on his desk. 

He opened it and sniffed at the transparent cream inside. It smelt like mint- a cooling balm, if he was not mistaken. _Why had she bothered to come down to the dungeons in the wee hours just to leave me some cooling balm? _He wondered as he applied some of the cream onto his lip, and relished in the immediate effect of it. 

Putting down the balm, he started to pace around the classroom. Should he or should he not join his colleagues in the Great Hall this morning? He had not lessons with fifth year Griffindors today. _Wait, what had that to do with anything?_

_Nothing_, he decided. _And I would not tolerate Minerva's... concern... just because I wanted to see... someone. Because I don't._

As this silly notion passed his mind, he thought he heard a voice laughed and fell off its mental chair at the back of his head.

_Tap tap tap._ He looked down and saw a gray owl sitting on the top of his pile of essays, impatiently tapping his desk. How long had it been there, and how had it got in, he had no idea. He reached down and untied the piece of note from the bird.

_Remember to have breakfast before you start off your day! We're having scrambled egg, bacon, ham and tuna sandwich. Guess what's today's special? Raspberry scones. You'd love it._

_ P.S. Trust me. I checked with Dobby, the (self-appointed) chief house-elf of Hogwarts._

Severus stared at the note, not believing his eyes.

----------

"I should not have sent that note, Lav," Hermione nagged for the twentieth time. Her friend rolled her eyes.

"Just enjoy your sandwich, dear," she said, taking a sip from her goblet of apple juice- only to spit it out again on her plate, earning herself a few disgusted glances. "Look!"

Severus had entered the Hall in his usual intimidating manner as the doors behind him shut with a grand 'thump'. The tables fell silent, save for some nervous whispers. He walked straight to his seat beside Minerva, paying the exchanges no attention- except for the one pointed glare he sent in Hermione's direction. Once he sat down, the Hall buzzed back to life.

"It worked, Hermy, I think it worked!" Lavender squealed in delight, softly so only Ginny and Hermione could hear.

"What worked, Hermy? Are you two passing something behind my back again?" Ginny asked, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

Lavender turned to face Ginny. "Tell me, Gin, where were you last night? Did we even get the chance to _not _talk behind you?" 

Ginny and, incidentally, Neville, blushed profusely at that comment.

Hermione drifted away from the teasing and banters that were filling the conversation and looked at Severus. He was not looking at her- she let out a sigh of relief- but was inspecting a raspberry scone in his hand closely as if it held the wonders of creation.

She suppressed a giggle and took a bite of her own scone.

----------

"This is ridiculous," he murmured, staring at yet another anonymous note on his desk.

Needless to say, he knew who wrote them. Since the arrival of the first note, he had received a hundred and twenty six more in the past three weeks. He could not imagine someone as busy as her to spend so much time observing him _and _writing him memos. For instance, the note he just received read:

_Professor: You know coffee is not good for your health! Stop drinking it excessively. If you want some hot beverage, try Dobby's rose or chrysanthemum tea. They are real good. _

So what if he did drink coffee excessively? It was not like he was addicted to it or something. Frowning, he took another sip from his cup of coffee.

"Good evening, sir," Hermione chirped, poking her head from behind the door. He hastily put down the cup and nodded. She came in and closed the door behind her courteously.

"Good grief!" She exclaimed once she put down her bag. "It's freezing in here. You ought to at least put on a coat, sir."

_This from a girl who has asthma and does not bother to wear a scarf in November, _he thought, looking at her thin school robes critically. "I hate rose tea," he said suddenly, bewildering even himself. He had not meant to say that, but it was all he could think of to stop himself from voicing that dismal thought out loud.

"You do?" She looked astonished for a second, but started to titter.

"Don't be giddy," he ordered and returned to his grading. The dungeon fell silent as she moved towards the shelves, but a giggle or two still escaped her. He rolled his eyes.

The two worked diligently into the night, the atmosphere casual and both were unaware of the time tiptoeing by. It was not until Severus prepared to get another mug of coffee that he noticed it was past curfew. "Miss Granger, I think you need to get back to your dormitory."

"Let me at least finish labeling this shelf," she pleaded. Severus suppressed an amused smirk and retreated to his room. When he came back, a steaming mug of latte was in his hand. The dungeon was immediately filled by the intense fragrance of fresh coffee.

"Professor," She cried when she saw what he had brought in. "That is not good for you!"

"Miss Granger, I really think you should leave. It is almost twelve."

"But-"

"No 'but's," he interrupted icily. "My personal well-being is none of your business, Miss Granger. Ten points for being nosy."

"You can't take points off me," she whispered, her mouth too quick for her to stop. He looked ready to explode.

"You think you can adopt that attitude because of Professor McGonagall?" How dare she be smug in front of him? "I don't know about your part in her scheme, Miss, but I assure you that no matter what it is, your head of house can't stop me from taking points off a Griffindor."

"Scheme?" 

"Cheating the House Cup, like she always does," he sneered. "Next thing I know, I may well not be able to take points off Potter and Weasley." 

_Griffindor, Slytherin. Is there anything else on this man's mind? _This was the only thing on her mind when she ran out of the dungeon in tears.

Once she was gone, Severus slumped into his chair. There, he did it again.

----------

Minerva McGonagall banged on his door two days later.

"Whatsit, Min'va?" He grumbled blearily, opening the door. He did not enjoy being woke up at five in the morning.

She was not sympathetic. "You come here," she pulled him by his ear and flung him into a nearby armchair. "Sit." She sat in an opposite armchair, crossing her legs.

"Minerva, I am not your student anymore," he reminded her mildly. Without a doze of early coffee he could not hope to confront this woman. She seemed to be very angry. Angrier than he had seen her in years, to be precise.

"You mindless piece of scum," she spat. 

"Contrary to common belief, Minerva, I do not appreciate being insulted first thing in the morning," he said, shaking his head and sitting up straighter.

"What had you said to Miss Granger?" She calmed down a wee bit, though her eyes were not removed from his sleepy face.

"What had I said to- wait, what happened? I hadn't said anything to her, she hadn't come to detention last night."

"Of course she hadn't, she was in my office!" The witch huffed. "The girl broke down and cried in my lesson! And you know what she said when I asked her into my office and enquired what happened? She gave me her badge and said that she wished to resign, that she does not want to be a prefect anymore. Hermione Granger, does not want to be a prefect anymore! Do you know what I am saying, Severus?" She stopped and panted.

He did not reply. His mind was slowly clearing and he remembered the nasty comments he said to her the night before yesterday.

"I don't know what did you do to her, Severus," Minerva continued tiredly, she seemed to be drained by the speech. "She has nothing but your good in her heart."

"Nothing but my good in her heart!" He echoed incredulously. "Minerva, she is a student. I don't need a student to baby-sit me. I can take care of myself."

"I'm sure you can," she replied sarcastically. "Listen, I don't know what makes you so repulsive to kindness-"

He raised a mocking brow. 

She ignored him. "-but if you genuinely _don't_ like her, please don't lead her on. I would not tolerate any further breaking of her heart, you hear me?" Without waiting for his answer, she stormed out of the room.

----------

"Hermione," Harry started worriedly. 

She blinked and looked at him, then smiled. A very sad smile that was.

"Hermione," Harry called again, softer and picking her hand. "Hermione, this cannot continue."

"So it is you this time," she chuckled, her eyes on the carpet. The Common Room was deserted naturally, everyone was in the Great Hall. Somehow she did not feel like eating.

"Yes," he sighed. Lavender and Ginny had admitted defeat in the last hour and sent him up to talk some sense into her. "We are all worried about you."

"Sorry," she said serenely.

"Don't be," he glared at her bow-downed head, and felt a fierce urge to grab her shoulders and shake her. "There are two things you have to do. First, eat," -he held up a hand to stop her protest- "you _can't_ don'twant to eat, Hermy. Second, stop this whole thing."

She did not need to ask what 'this whole thing' was. "But I can't stop, Harry," she spoke gently, and looked up again. Harry almost had to look away- her eyes were clear and radiant, her lips tenderly curving, but somehow, it was the saddest face Harry had ever seen.

"You have to," or you will hurt yourself soon. Very badly. "Or we'll all be worried to death."

"I have to," she repeated after him in a whisper. Squeezing his hand, she said, "I will."

"You will? You promise?"

"Promise. But at least let me have it until Thanksgiving," she pleaded.

"Thanksgiving that is," he conceded reluctantly. 

----------

"Adely," he called almost automatically. The elf appeared. 

"Sir wants Adely?"

"Yes," _again._ He rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "My dinner?" He waved a flamboyant hand at the dish on his desk.

"But, sir! Doesn't sir want to try food?" Adely popped onto the desk beside the dish, rubbing her hands excitedly. Severus raised an eyebrow. She had not questioned him before, and he wished she would keep it that way.

"No, Adely. Bring me my food," he ordered. 

"But, but this is good food. Adely knows it is good," the elf beamed at him in anticipation.

"Adely," he started in a warning voice. Denying a direct order? _House-elves don't just go around denying orders, _he thought. Walking to the desk, he looked down at the dish of unrecognizable, stuff, and some sticky toothpaste-like thing in a cup that was probably the dessert, then at Adely.

"It is really, really, really good food," Adely said solemnly. For a creature with such a limited vocabulary, she did look pretty serious.

"Adely," he tried again in a voice that could freeze the running blood in students, but the elf was determined. Knowing that she would probably have to punish herself later for this behavior, he grudgingly picked up a spoon and the cup of 'pudding'.

Putting the spoonful of goo into mouth, he had half-expected himself to fall dead. But he didn't, though the pudding was the most peculiar-tasting thing he had ever tasted. It was sweet when it first touched his tongue, but as it slowly melted down his throat, it became slightly tasteless, like water, with a distance saltiness. He blinked.

"Sir likes it? Sir likes food?" Adely was asking when he ate another spoonful. He nodded and waved a dismissive hand. The elf disappeared like a wisp of smoke.

The queer taste had touched a chord in his mind, something he felt he should be familiar with but could not quite place it, like the name of a long lost relative. 

He finished the dessert.

----------

Hurrying down the stairs, she had not forgotten her promise. _After Thanksgiving..._

"Hermione," a croaky voice called in the shadows.

"Ron!" She jumped.

Surely it was Ron. He emerged from the darkness in which he was hiding, his expression unfathomable in the dim light. Hermione cringed and took a step back. He let out a bitter chortle.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, breaking the unnerving silence. The Potion's classroom was literally just round the corner, and she could not understand why was he lurking in the dungeons.

"I- need to talk to you," he said, walking closer.

"What is it that you have to say? And make it quick, I am kind of in a rush," she snapped, and immediately regretted. She remembered why was Ron angry with her, and felt a pang of guilt.

"You cried in Transfiguration," he pointed out unnecessarily. 

She nodded, and once again silence prolonged itself between them.

"I figure that you have really gone through more than I thought," he said uneasily. "And I think, you know, maybe we can take a ride on the broom sometime, now that this whole thing is over-"

"Ron," _how many times do I have to tell you that I hate flying? _She wanted to ask but changed her mind, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. "Who told you that-" 

She was cut off by Ron, for all of a sudden he was on her, crushing his lips against hers.

----------

That was what Severus saw when he came out looking for her- she was hardly ever late for detention- Weasley and her kissing in a public place in broad daylight. Okay, so maybe not in broad daylight, but it shot a nasty surge of fury up his head no less. He did not break the kiss off with a subtle cough- he flouted at the idea of subtlety in these occasions- and pried Weasley off her.

"For your extremely unentertaining performance, Mr. Weasley, a hundred points," he snarled and ignored the resulting malicious daggers he was receiving. "As for you, Miss Granger-" he let the comment hung and dragged her into the classroom.

It was sweltering inside. She could feel her cheeks burning red, and hoped against hope that he would not notice. Hands sweating, she put down her bag and coat and started to pick out ingredients she would need. A cauldron was already set up at the middle of the room.

Severus crossed his arms and watched as the girl busied herself with trivial tasks, averting his eyes. The kiss was replaying itself in his head.

_Oh Merlin, _she prayed silently as she dropped two piece of daisy roots into the boiling water. _I will have nothing to do after adding in the leech juice. Please let time stop, please..._

He wondered what was she thinking. Definitely not the potion, from the pneumatic look in her eyes. Shifting to another foot, he waited patiently. Yeah, let's see how long can she keep from looking at him. The potion would have to simmer for half an hour after the leech juice was added. Yes, come on, add that in...

"Bloody hell!" she swore softly, too hurt to say anything else. 

He was at her side faster than a light particle. Unaware of himself, he took her hand in his and looked as the boil on her index finger throbbed. "Bloody hell's right." His pulse missed a beat or two as her fingers wiggled in his grip. " What did you do- what are these?"

She snatched her hand from him, flushing. "Nothing," she lied.

Not for the first time he noticed how bad a liar she was, but he was too furious at the meantime to brood on the thought. Furious at himself for letting instincts took over, for getting his guards down, for showing concern; furious at her carelessness, at the many little invisible scars on her hand- now, where did _those_ come from?

She stirred the murky contents in the cauldron, once again evasive.

---------

He had not been down here for so long he forgot how to get in. He felt incredibly like an idiot when a kind fairy in a nearby painting told him, amused, that it was the pear that he should tickle after tickling the lemon for ten minutes. Scowling, he walked into the kitchen.

Hogwart's kitchen was an enormous place. Stuffed with thousands of pans and pots, various food and hundreds of overly excited house-elves, he found it very difficult to move.

"Please!" He shouted over the deafening squeals of the elves. 

"Sir, sir!" Some of them just could not get the clue and kept thrusting food into him. He restrained with all his might from kicking them.

"Please, I did not come for food," he could not pull his voice any higher.

"Sir, what can Dobby help you then?" An elf wearing a yellow tie and a terrible woolen hat pushed through the crowd of elves and stood in front of him. Severus felt an immediate relief- something for his eyes to focus on, finally.

"You're Dobby? The Chief house-elf?"

"Sir knows Dobby! Dobby is flattered!" The elf replied delightedly, his voice hitting a record note.

"Well," Severus drawled, "I know that a student came down here everyday-"

"Student?" Dobby's ears straightened like those of an alarmed rabbit. "There's no student, sir."

"-and forced you to cook terrible meals for me."

"She cooked the food herself," Dobby replied, oblivious to the slip, and the other house-elves nodded indignantly. Some of them shook their heads and moved away from Severus.

"Oh, really," he smirked. So it was a 'she'. That was half of his assumption, as for the other half-

A loud, hysterical laugh was heard suddenly. Someone was tickling the pear and trying to get in. Severus quickly ducked behind some stacked crates. "Don't say that I am here," he hissed his order.

The elves happily resumed their work. Severus could hear Dobby's voice greeting the comer.

"Evening, Miss, how nice to meet you!"

"Evening, Dobby. Hi, Winky," a merry voice floated across the kitchen and hit his ears. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. So the other half was confirmed.

"It will be the last night that I bother you, Dobby. I am sorry for all the inconvenience that I have caused in the past months."

"It's okay, Miss! Dobby likes seeing Miss."

"Don't call me Miss, Dobby."

"Sorry, Miss!"

She let out a chortle, but Severus found little mirth in it. "So, let's get to work?"

"Oh, but Miss must not cook again! Let Dobby do it!"

"Dobby, we've been through this," she said patiently, and Severus heard water running. "Now boil this for me, would you? I can cut these-"

"Miss must not use knifes again!"

"Dobby," she sounded a little exasperated, and soon enough Severus heard the sound of knife hitting the wooden bench. 

What should he do now? He had not thought of this when he decided to come and check who was making him meals everyday. Of course, he should have done this much earlier, but it was not until these two days when Adely kept insisting that he should try those food that he wanted to know who was behind all this. Jump out and shout at her? Somehow that sounded like a very bad idea. But he could not pretend that nothing happened, when something certainly did...

"Bloody hell," she swore the second time in three days. "Really, really bloody..."

Severus peeked from behind his hiding place. What he saw got him to her side in a millisecond. 

"Professor," she was in too much pain to sound surprised. "What are you-"

"Shhh," he hushed, staring at the more pressing matter at hand. "Stupid girl, you cut yourself!"

"Don't worry, I am very experienced in this," she whispered, almost cheerfully. She took out her wand and said an incarnation. The wound did not stop bleeding.

Severus stared in horror at the deep cut on her middle finger. This explained her many little scars.

"Hmm, doesn't work this time," she smiled weakly at him, feeling a bit dizzy from the blood lost. 

He snapped out of his trance and healed her finger quickly. Seeing the blood clogging, he felt a familiar irritation stirring in his bowels. "Incompetent Griffindor." He scolded, but that got out much feebler. _ Why could she cut perfectly in the lab but not in the kitchen?_

"I just want to make you a Thanksgiving dinner," feeling courageous, she blurted out. Was her voice shaking? Maybe she was not so brave after all. Pure, undiluted impulse was very bad for your health, she had learnt.

"You just kissed Weasley three nights ago," he reminded her, turning away. He sounded so much like a jealous boyfriend, he noticed in dismay.

"I didn't. He kissed _me,_" she started hotly, and her eyes went the same way. This would be her last time to do something like this... "I am just trying to cook. I am just trying to care..."

Was she sobbing? Why was she sobbing? 

"I am just trying to see," her sobs grew louder, but so did her voice. "I am just trying to admire-"

He could not take this any longer. Really.

"I am just trying to understand-"

_Please Merlin, grant me strength..._

"I am just trying to give..."

_Any almighty powers, help me, help me stay firm..._

"I am just learning to like you."

With that her voice cracked, and he trembled.

_How, how, how can I..._

He swiveled to face her, and he inched towards her, until finally, they were centimeters apart. Pure impulse can be _this_ harmful.

She clung onto his robes and buried herself into his chest. His heart somersaulted when her first tears reached it through the piece of wet fabric.

"I am just learning to like you..."

As if in slow motion, his hand reached up and circled her shoulder uncertainly, enveloping her in his embrace. 

In the first time of history, the house-elves parted and left the couple in the kitchen by the crackling fire, quietly, without being given an order. 

----------

A/N: Awwww, that's about time, I think... 

Anonymous reviewers, leave your emails if you'd like to be notified of updates.

A silly question for all of you. How should I keep tract of the stories I read? What I am doing now is to go over my 300+ reviews to see if they've been updated. Any suggestion for a less tedious way? 

How'd you like the chapter? I put in a lot of dialogues this time, I hope you liked it. Please REVIEW! And please, pretty please read my other stories. 


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: Just because I updated slowly does not make me J.K. Rowling, who owned everything related to Harry Potter. Sheesh.

A/N: Look, I know I did not update in almost 3 months, and I sincerely hope that it is not going to be a habit or something... Poor me, I have so many to do I hardly find anytime to eat or sleep! *weeps* *looks around and see readers glaring down angrily* Aren't you sympathetic with me? No?

I need to thank you all for giving me so much patience and stayed with me. A special thanks to **silver-springs77 **and**Metallicafangirl **who nicely pointed out my mistakes. I will try my best to improve!

**LuNa LoVeGoOd5: **Thanks, I am flattered! Hope your computer is working okay now, so that you can leave me a review... ^^

**ShinHee Tae:** Be careful with this chapter, it may lead to even more tears! I nearly cried writing it!

**Louise Luvgood: **Of course Hermione won't ask that from Adely. That would put Adely in a difficult position and Hermy won't want that right? I have only 15 chapters, including this. Ff.net gave me 4 more chapters, I don't know why. *kick stupid ff.net*

**Real-fan05: **Strange... you laughed? Someone said they nearly cried... *puzzled* I loved it when people quote me, yay! *dance*

**Ezmerelda: **Oh have I misled you? *innocent eyes* Hehe...

**nesscafe: **There will definitely be kisses and many more! *evil grin* But you'd have to read and wait and see!

**Kittie: **I am sorry, I know this is not quick enough! You can hit me as you like! *eyes closed really tight*

**Akasha Ravensong: **Glad you liked it!

**HPFanficLuvr: **Thanks for the suggestion, it is very detailed! And Sevvie is great of course, that goes without saying... *dreamy look*

**crazy2: **Thanks!

**Teri: **Raspberries are also in short supply here... pity, I loved them! All I ever get is frozen ones...

**Sly Snake Slytherin: **Who wouldn't be? I am definitely jealous of Hermione... but they are meant to be together! And I am sorry for the wait, hope you like this chapter!

**Auriana: **Thanks! Glad you like it!

**willow-nymph: **Thank _you _for reviewing! 

**silver-springs77: **My Goodness!! That's a stupid mistake!! Thanks for pointing it out to me. I am not American nor British that's why. *bang head on monitor*

**julkat007: **Thank you!

**Metallicafangirl: **You are one observant reader aren't you. I loved it because it means someone is really reading my story carefully. I will not make that mistake again! Thanks!

**Bullwinkle435: **I hope u find this chapter lovely as well. I have finished reading your story and would like to say congratulations to you! Keep writing!

**Merry the Psychotic Coconut: **Thanks! I am so happy that someone liked the dialog! Heaven knows how difficult it is to write a convincing one for a non-native speaker.

**tenniStar514: **HG/SS seems repelling to many but many of the best fan fiction revolves around them! Ron will get better, don't worry. And keep reading!

**Queen-Ditz: **I am sorry for the wait, hope the new chapter makes it up!

**Absinthe Faerie: **Thanks! Ff.net now provides author alerts, doesn't it? I haven't tried it yet but it sounds quite helpful.

**rebecca89: **Thanks!

**Liberty1: **Yes! Sevvie is breaking down... even more than you think! *cackle* Scroll down and read it now! Oh boy!

**evilbon32: **Miss, can I put you on a challenge to write an _entire _page of review for me? *big hug* I loved your reviews! And once again thanks for reading my chapters so thoroughly. 

**Procyon Marie: **Thank you!

**Noriko M. Chijinu: **Thanks! *in tears* You're so considerate! As for your story, I loved it! Write more when you've time!

**Makalani Astral: **Sorry for my poor grammar, that's because I am not a native speaker. English is my second language! But still I will try to be more careful. Thanks for your review!

**abigfan: **I am back, with the newest chapter! Thanks for reviewing and staying with me (and my story)!

**Melovia: **You're on my mailing list... in fact, every reviewer is, haha! Keep on reading!

**~*~*: **You'll have to wait for the kiss, woohoo! *evil author laughs*

**Casiana Joy: **Yeah I am Chinese and a proud owner of a stupid Chinese computer that can't read English right. *kicks computer*

**metallicverb: **Thanks! I will try my best to write quicker!

**michelle: **Am so sorry for the wait, I hope it is worthy!

Phew, I will say no more crap cause you are all eager for the new chapter, right?

*audience throws shoes and tomatoes and screams, "Just let us read already!"*

Whoa! *dodges* Okay, okay... *mutters* Touchy... 

----------

Hermione sat up in her bed, blinked, and laid back down. The pillow was once too soft to her liking, but now she buried her face into the cool soft fabric of it, sniffing the familiar smell of her shampoo.

How had she got up here? When had she fallen asleep? Last night passed like a blur, a blur too good to be true. Maybe it was just a dream.

She sat up again, knowing that it would be useless to stay in bed all day dwelling in fantasies. She struggled out of the sheets and pushed the curtains apart. Immediately she felt a coldness ran down her neck. Grabbing a scarf, she walked over to the bathroom. A dim gray light filled the room, the morning was breaking. _Hopefully, I could do some revision before breakfast,_ she thought as she stepped into the warm water.

----------

The day was about to start.

Soon the sun would rise, its brilliance would fill Hogwart's ground, and so would the mindless chatter of the students. He sighed at the slowly brightening room. The fire was burning low in the fireplace.

He hadn't had a wink of sleep whole night- he couldn't. He tried pacing around the room, he tried turning a bit on the bed, but nothing helped. Admitting defeat, he sank into his favorite armchair and looked into the fire pensively. He did not know how many thoughts had passed through his mind, he just allowed them to, to ran in circles in his head.

Why had he embraced her? Why must he succumb to his desires once more? Hadn't the past lessons been quite enough, enough to warn him what terrible consequences this could bring? Yes, yes, they were enough, but how weak was the flesh! He stood up and started pacing the room with his hands behind his back.

Could he give her what she wants? No. Her young face appeared in his mind, her tinkling eyes, her ringing laughs. No, no, she deserved more. Much more than he could ever give. He had no sense of humor, he was old, he was not appealing, he could not fly with her. He could not give her a sense of security, he could not promise to be by her side whenever she needs him, he could not tell her everything she wanted to know- given that he was a spy. All he could offer was a cauldronful of potions and his heart.

He stopped in his tracks and looked up at the ceiling. _And why would she want that?_

----------

"Good morning, Dean, Neville," the girls greeted the boys in the Great Hall.

Hermione took a seat next to Neville, who poured her a goblet of orange juice. "Thank you," she smiled and helped herself with a piece of cake.

"Where is Harry?" Asked Lavender while poking a strip of bacon from Dean's plate. Dean shook his head and got himself another piece.

"I'm here," said Harry appearing out of nowhere. "Hermione?"

"I'm coming," Hermione saw Harry tilting his head toward the door and got up. 

Once the two were alone in the corridor, Harry pulled Hermione behind a pillar and crossed his arms. She turned her eyes away uneasily.

"So," Harry cleared his throat. "Was it over?"

Hermione did not answer right away. Not that she had forgotten her promise, but how could she tell Harry that not only wasn't it over, but it progressed last night? Well, it was just a hug, but it was a hug from Snape. She had not thought it possible for his arms to bend that way. 

"I- we-" she rubbed her hands nervously, touching the scar on her left middle finger.

Harry looked at the scar and saw that it was a fresh wound. "What happened? How did you cut yourself?"

"It was not a hallucination," she whispered, touching the throbbing scar again. "It was real..."

"What was real?" He could not quite catch that.

"Nothing," she smiled at him, and seeing his apprehensive expression, quickly changed the subject. "Ron kissed me the other night."

"I'm sorry," it was Harry's turn to look apologetic. "I shouldn't have told him-"

Hermione stopped him with a hand. "He's your best friend."

"Yeah," shifting to another foot, Harry didn't look too relieved at her understanding. "Um, I, uh, better have some breakfast before the first lesson."

_Sorry,_ Hermione apologized to his retreating back. She should have told him all about last night, but selfishly she wanted to keep it all to herself for the time being. A memory shared only between her and Severus, a moment treasured in her mind forever. She would tell her friends one day, but until then, the embrace would be a secret.

----------

She had not imagined it to be so hard. To steal a glance of him, that was.

It was her regular detention, and tonight she had the luck to brew yet another batch of dreamless sleep potion. Hermione was tempted to try brewing it with closed eyes but thought better of it. Instead of talking with him like she usually would, she focused so hard on her potion that her head felt like it was going to burst.

_What should I say? What should I say?_

This was just ridiculous. She could talk to him fine before, why couldn't she now? But her mind was blank- there was nothing for her to say, it seemed. At the same time her mind seemed crammed, incoherent thoughts, unspeakable questions. She knew what she wanted to say, of course. There was something she wanted to say so badly that the only way to prevent it from spilling out was to keep her mouth shut.

_What are you doing in the kitchen last night?_ _What does the hug mean? _She wanted to know.

_Do you... like me?_

The thought struck her like a meteor. She was sure that he could hear the thought, and reflexively took a peek at him. Coincidentally, he turned at that split second and their eyes met.

_Look away! _Her mind shrieked.

And she did. Before anything in her mind could flow into his, she turned away. But she could not stop her cheeks from flaring red when she added the Belladonna essence with a trembling hand. The potion hissed and she nearly dropped the vial.

_Get a grip, Hermione Granger, _She reproached herself angrily. Picking up the jar of crushed dragon fangs, she took a deep breath and counted from one to ten. _One._ She twisted. _Two._ She twisted again. _Three..._ _Four... _She tried harder and a stinging pain arose on her fingertips.

But the cap wouldn't budge- her palms were too wet with sweat. _Five..._

Suddenly a big hand snatched the jar away from her. Effortlessly he opened the jar and dropped some dragon fangs into her cauldron. Then he put the jar back onto the bench and returned to his work.

_Come on, say it, say Thank you! _But no voice would come out from her mouth, and silence continued in the dungeon. If the atmosphere could not be classified as 'awkward' before, it definitely could now. She watched as the potion simmered in the cauldron and was suddenly irritated that _he _didn't try to say something.

_Tell me what does that mean! _She cried in her head to no one in particular, and no answer came back, like a stone dropped into a well too deep. _Is it pity? Do you go around hugging students because you pity_ _them?_

_Maybe it was just a dream, a dream after all._

----------

What had happened that night? Or rather, what was happening?

He strode down the hallway, heels clicking against stones and cloak swishing behind. He walked in great big steps, not bothering to hide his presence with his usual feline grace. In fact, he wanted to storm, to lash his frustration on someone, to holler. But those were emotions, things that he was so used to conceal. To holler would be similarly difficult for him as to smile.

Smile. The first thing that flashed across his mind when he saw her was to smile. She seemed to be in a hurry. He stopped in front of her and hid the twitching of the corners of his mouth.

She stopped as well, knowing that there was no way to creep past him without his noticing. "Good morning, sir," she greeted under her breath, eyes on ground.

"Miss Granger," he acknowledged, glaring at the frizzy mess that was her hair. Wasn't she going to look up?

"Professor?"

He had not seen her for a week. Oh, sure, they had met in lessons, in detentions. But he had not seen her, as in _seen._ If he had not known her better, he would have thought that she was evading him.

"Uh, professor?"

"Yes," he answered, berating himself for slipping into a reverie.

"I need to go," she began to walk past him, eyes still focusing on her shoes. _Maybe she really was evading me, _the thought flew across his mind at that instant, and before he could stop himself he reached out to grab her shoulder.

"Professor?" She sounded quite taken aback, and looked up with her innocent eyes, enquiring.

He let go of her so hastily that one would think he had been burnt. "I, um, what lesson are you having?" _Heaven help me- I sounded like a hormone-driven teenager asking somebody out._ How long had it been since his last stutter?

"Arithmancy," she replied and flashed him a small smile.

Before he could say anything, she walked away. He looked at her thin red robes billowing in the winter wind, and thought of her tiny body feeling so fragile in his arms the other night.

He should have at least returned her smile.

----------

"I blew it," Hermione said once she sat down beside Lavender. Professor Vector eyed her disapprovingly.

"Where have you been?" Lavender whispered.

"I-"

"Miss Granger," Professor Vector drawled in a warning tone.

Hermione fell quiet and took out her inkbottle and quills. Order was restored in the classroom, the only disturbances were quills scratching against parchments and an occasional turn of page. She enjoyed the peacefulness of lesson, she really did. She had always liked Arithmancy. Nothing brought her mind together like Arithmancy did, but today not even an extremely difficult problem could clear her head.

She had never thought of what to do after confessing to him her feelings; in fact, she had never considered telling him at all. _What now? _She asked herself constantly. _What happens after the hug? _It should have been enough, knowing how demanding that was for him and how she never expected anything to come out of this stupid crush.

"_Pssst,_" Lavender nudged her arm suddenly.

She jumped and scanned around the room, but the Professor was no where to be seen.

"Professor Vector's just given us a break," Lavender rolled her eyes. "Where were you?"

"In my own world," Hermione put down her quill and yawned.

"Obviously," Lavender took a look of her work and said. "You should not take th- wait," she giggled and pointed at her friend's parchment. "Is this what I think it is?"

Hermione blushed heavily and snatched the parchment back.

"A heart? You were drawing hearts when we should be working on question fourteen?"

"It's not a heart," Hermione retorted faintly.

"Yeah? Then what is it?"

"A drop of ink," she answered unconvincingly. At once a long string of laughter escaped Lavender.

"I saw him just now," Hermione continued but was interrupted by another snigger from Lavender. She glared at her friend who was holding her sides as if in great pain. "I don't know how to react..."

Finally managing to contain her laughter, Lavender chastised gently, "Don't tell me you've ran away _again._" And seeing Hermione's lowering head, she sighed, "Hermy!"

Professor Vector came in at that moment with a cup of hot tea in hand. Hermione had never been so glad to see her. Picking up her quill, she started to frantically scribble down the new question while at the same time fully aware of the heat radiating from Lavender's glare on the back of her neck.

----------

Another night of silence. 

He turned sideways to glance at her. Shadows created by the flickering fire dancing on her face, her curly bangs draping across her forehead. She was not pretty, only mysterious. And he was suddenly suffocated by it all. The fire cracking beneath the cauldrons, the simmering potions in them, the dungeon itself; and, most of all, their time spent together here. She was so close to him, inches only.

Merlin knows how much it takes of him to not just pull her into his chambers-

-and have a good night's talk. 

_Yeah, right._

_Fine, don't believe me. _He flouted at the smirking tone of the voice at the back of his head. To talk with her seemed to be the only thing on his mind these days. He had so many to ask.

_Is this all a big joke? Is this yet another trick you and Potter plotted on me? If it's not, then why all the evasiveness now?_

His stomach churned up at the thought of those questions. They had swirled in his mind for weeks, pulling him deeper into the bleak hole of despair. He knew that dwelling on them was probably most harmful to both his physical and mental health- only yesterday Albus warned him about taking points from every single student within his sight- but he could not help it. He had not a wink of sleep last night. Again.

No, she would not have to answer any of those questions. He knew she would cry hearing them, let alone answering any. So no, she would not need to answer them. He wouldn't ask. The questions could just live in his own mind forever. What did it matter anyway? What difference did it make even if it was only a trick she played on him? No, no, it made no difference. He could never bear to hear her admitting it. So if it made her happy, he would let it be, he would let her play her game. Maybe she would even get a laughter or two out of his stupidity, or maybe she would defend him when Potter and Weasley cursed him.

"At least he gave me a good laugh last time he hugged me," she would say.

He closed his eyes briefly, painfully. An awful pain struck his chest like a sabre. She reminded him too much of that past, and he had thought that once was definitely enough. He had not imagined that he could still be hurt in this way.

But still he wanted to talk to her. Because if he couldn't hear her voice any sooner, he might die...

"I am done, professor," her timid voice repeated what she said every night.

_Done being alone with me. Done with yet another silent detention. Done with torturing me. _He waved a hand wearily, not looking at her.

And this was the worst part. He felt like a coward every time she leaves. He could have stopped her, grabbed her, ordered her to stay. But every night she slipped, like quicksand between his fingers.

He walked over to a cupboard, took out a glass and a bottle of Firewhiskey.

All he could do now was to numb himself.

---------- 

"Hermy," someone was waving a hand in front of her face. She blinked. "Hermione?"

"Oh, hi," she pulled a smile that looked worse than a grimace.

"What are you doing here outside?" Ginny asked and took her hand. "Merlin, you're all chilled!"

"I, um, forgot the password."

"You're kidding, even I remember this month's password," Neville replied incredulously and gave the correct password to the Fat Lady. "Lions rule."

"It's Ron's turn to set the password this month," Ginny rolled her eyes and climbed into the Common Room.

"After you," Neville gestured.

"Wait," Hermione looked about and exclaimed, "I forgot my bag!"

"It's almost curfew!" Called Neville at Hermione who ran down the hallway. She did not stop. Neville shook his head and got into the welcoming Common Room as well.

----------

Should she knock? Or should she just tip-toe in and grab her bag?

She pushed the door and thankfully, it did not creak. She peeked through the tiny gap.

Severus was no where to be seen.

Feeling braver, she pushed the door wide. Her bag was right there beside the cauldron. Walking as quickly and quietly as she could, she reached the bag and turned, beginning to leave-

"What are you doing here?"

She nearly jumped out of her skin and fell backwards. His strong arms were around her in a second, pulling her to her feet. She gasped for air and caught a stinging scent of alcohol from him.

"What are you doing here?" He repeated, and she could not tell whether he was angry or not. Looking up, she immediately noticed his face, much redder than usual, and a thin film of perspiration on his forehead. Fumbling for her handkerchief, she accused,

"You drank."

"I did," he replied, catching her hand. Hermione looked at him in surprise. His eyes were shining and she could see herself in them- a scared little form with a wrist in his grip. She tried to take her hand back, but his grip though not hurting, was insistent. 

_ Scared? Am I scared?_

Yes, she was. And he knew it. Contrary to what she usually felt around him, she was scared. The man in front of her was not Severus. Severus was cynical, sarcastic, cold, but he never scared her. This man here radiated danger, and her mind was screaming for her to get away from him. She took a step backward, but he was quicker than her. He took her other wrist and pushed her to the wall. Immediately she was locked between him and the freezing door.

"What," Severus said, drawling each word out slowly. "Are. You. Doing. Here?"

"I- I- I forgot to take my bag," she stuttered. This man was not Severus! Severus was not in there, where was he?

"You shouldn't have come back down," he breathed onto her face. Hermione hated it.

"Please let me go," she began to wriggle. She was frightened. Where was Severus? He would never talk to her like that.

The man tightened his grip, and Hermione felt tears welling in her eyes. She looked down, not wanting to appear weak.

"You're hurting me. Let me go," she said croakily. Did she sound like she was going to cry? "Let me _go_!" She cried, more strongly and determined this time, and attempted to yank back her hand. She needed to escape from this man, he was not Severus...

"We need to talk!" He pulled even harder. 

"Severus!" She could no longer hold back her fear, and cried out for help. He would come to her rescue, as he did before. Big tears rolled out from her tightly closed eyelids. "Where are you? Where are you?"

----------

"Severus!"

Instantly he became himself again.

_Oh gods, what am I doing-_

He did not know what to do. Instinctively he took her in his arms, and as she clung to him helplessly, sobbing uncontrollably into his shirt, he felt a terrible guilt mixing with a wave of emotion pounding in his head. 

What was this emotion? Why did it hurt so much?

He kept patting her back with pathetic skills. _Where should I put my other hand?_ He wondered. 

"It's okay now, everything is fine," he would like to say something else, but this was the only thing he could think of. He wanted to bang his head.

But then, he was never good at consoling and comforting others, and he was not easily comforted either. Seeing how her sobs were gradually quieting down, he thought that perhaps his consoling was not so bad, after all.

----------

He was back.

She could feel it. Although he still reeked of alcohol, he was back.

Almost immediately she felt safe. Nothing could harm her when he was with her. He took her in his arms, just like the day they met in the kitchen. He was patting her back, but he did not know that the tears she was crying were tears of joy, tears of relief.

He was so bad at this, she smiled in his shirt. 

_He probably had not comforted anyone in the recent decade... _she thought and realized that he was talking. His voice sounded even deeper when her ear was pressed to his chest.

She sat up, looked at him, and smiled. This same face frightened her half an hour ago, but now Severus was back behind those black eyes, and his frown was no longer threatening but only sent a pang of warmth up her body. 

"Sorry," he apologized, and Hermione realized that was what he had been doing for the last ten minutes. She smiled broader, blinked and caused another tear to fall. He brushed it away with a calloused finger.

"You must not have known how pretty you are when you smile with that tear," said Severus lowly. Hermione caught it very clearly, though, and her whole face and neck turned into a vivid shade of crimson. Severus seemed to realize what he had said, and looked away uneasily.

After what felt like an eternity of silence, Severus cleared his throat, 

"Come, I'll fix you something to drink."

----------

"Sit here," he ordered.

"But I-"

He pulled her onto his lap and put the steaming mug into her hand. 

"-I'll be too heavy," she finished her sentence, blushing again.

"Nonsense," she did not exactly felt like a feather to him, but he was not satisfied. He mentally reminded himself to make her eat more. "Finish the honey."

She sipped the honey slowly, glancing at him every second sip and seeing that he was looking directly at her, blushed and turned her attention back into the mug.

He waited with a patience that was not known to most of his students.

"Honey?" She enquired with a raised brow once she finished the beverage.

"With calming potion," he reluctantly admitted. "Only a teeny drop."

She looked back into the mug, and Severus caught her secretive grin. Taking the mug from her, he put it onto the end-table next to their armchair and turned to face her.

"I am sorry," he said formally, hiding the overwhelming guilt from his voice. Picking up her hands, he examined her wrists and was distressed to find livid red marks on them. Wordless, he _accio_-ed some healing cream and gently rubbed it onto her wrists. She winced, but did not say anything.

Once Severus finished applying the cream, she looked straight into his eyes. "I am okay."

"It's my fault," he replied simply.

"No it is not," she said heatedly, and holding his face with both her hands, forced him to look at her.

"I should not have drunk and hurt you."

"I should not have left my bag, then," she retorted, then in a mellower tone, "You never meant to hurt me."

"No, but I did," he covered her hand on his face with his own, and sighed, "we need to talk."

"But we are talking."

"That's not what I mean," he took her hand from his face but did not let it go. Hermione looked at him and an understanding glowed in her eyes.

----------

"How did it get this far?" He wondered.

She giggled softly. "I don't know. How did it get this far?"

"_I _don't know," he protested. "You started it."

"Maybe you should try asking the goddess of fate," she said, resting her head onto his shoulder. He reflexively put his arm around her.

"I am not talking to Sybil Trelawney," he replied quickly and Hermione laughed.

"That's not what I mean by fate."

"Fate didn't bring us here," he began curling a piece of her hair with his index finger. "Your food did."

"You haven't even tried them," she said, not mad but half amused. "Adely told me so. You left the food untouched everyday. But then, it probably is the best that you didn't try them, because they sure looked like they were poisonous..."

Severus covered her mouth with a hand and stopped her rant. "I tried your dessert."

"You did?"

"Only because the elf insisted so."

"I didn't order Adely to force you to eat anything. That would put her into a harsh dilemma," she replied, puzzled. 

"It insisted probably because it likes you and did not want your effort to be wasted."

"Adely is a 'she', not an 'it'," she frowned but brightened up. "How did you find the dessert?"

"A little salty," he answered frankly. "I understand that it's difficult to tell the difference between sugar and salt."

"I can tell sugar and salt apart," Hermione sat up indignantly but was being pulled back down by Severus.

"Yes, I'm sure you can."

"The pudding is only salty because, um," she cleared her throat. "Because, ah, I was crying when I was making it."

"I finished it."

"You did?" she asked again with widened eyes.

"I like salty puddings," he said seriously.

A string of mirthful chortle escaped her, and she laughed into his neck like a Christmas bell. Severus listened and sighed in contentment. What he would give to let time stop at this moment, having her in his arms and hearing her laughs. Yes, this was his idea of happiness.

The fire burned lower and he added some logs into the fireplace. They cuddled together in cozy silence. 

"What will become of us?" He asked serenely into her hair.

"I don't know," she yawned and snuggled closer to him. He summoned a blanket and wrapped it around themselves.

Soon he, too, was sound asleep.

----------

Hermione stirred and moved closer to the source of warmth. Something brushed her face.

"Go away Crookshanks," she mumbled groggily, swatting the thing weakly with her palm. Crookshanks sniggered.

_Crookshanks sniggered?_

Her eyes flew open and met with a pair of jet black pupils, looking at her amused.

"Good morning, Miss Granger," Severus greeted her, sounding happier than Hermione had even heard him.

"Good morning professor," she closed her eyes again and hid her face into him.

"It's seven thirty."

"Why on earth did you install a window in a nice, cool dungeon?" She complained, having every intention to stay where she was.

He sniggered again. "Get up, you lazy Griffindor." 

"Mm hmm," she gibbered incoherently into his shirt. Then, lifting half an eyelid, whined, "I never knew you are a morning person."

"And apparently, you aren't," he replied. "Get up, or I'm going to pick you up."

Hermione got up quickly hearing that, and stretched. Severus stood up as well.

"My legs are numbed," he noted.

"I told you I'd be too heavy," she said apologetically.

His lips twitched and he had the peculiar urge to laugh out loud. "It's not you, it's the armchair."

"Yeah, right," she scratched her head and began to walk away. 

"Wait-"

She stopped by the door and looked at him. Severus saw her hair sticking out in every direction and wanted to laugh again. "We'll have double Potions after lunch."

"I know," she said, still not completely awake.

"And-" he swallowed, finding it difficult to say.

"And?"

"Why did you evade me in my lessons?"

"I-" she wanted to say that she had not, but she knew that would be a lie. A lie that he could see right through. "That's because I don't know what to do besides looking away."

"Oh." _That's it? _Severus wanted to ask more but thought that it was probably not the best time to do so. "So..."

"See you in the Great Hall," she gave him a dazzling smile and was gone. 

He fell back into the armchair and rubbed his temples. What had happened last night? One moment he was in agony, and the next moment she came in and brought him back to earth. Heaven, even. From the corner of his eye he saw the empty bottle of Firewhiskey, and felt that he was the dumbest man ever walked on the surface of Earth. To suspect, to presume that Hermione Granger, a fifteen-year-old Griffindor girl, would play such foul tricks on him...

_I really have been in this spy business for too long,_ he decided, and walked into the bathroom whistling.

----------

A/N: Hope you like this chapter! I nearly cried writing Sevvie's agony. Please tell me if this is too OOC to your liking. I hope not, though! By the way, I have Msn Messenger finally, my email is robotobias@hotmail.com, add me if you want to and we can talk about Sevvie! The next chapter will probably be out in about a month, please be patience and wish me happy birthday! My birthday is on 22nd Jan, which is the first day of Chinese Lunar New Year. Please review and toodles!


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: Nothing relating to the Harry Potter universe belongs to me. Not even you, Sevvie, sorry. *Severus cries* So don't sue.

A/N: No one can say I am lazy _this _time! I am writing like crazy here. I have updated most of my stories, and am rewriting one. *pat self on the back*

**nesscafe: **Happy birthday to your husband! I turned 18 yesterday and had a great day. Did you?

**Ezmerelda: **Are your muses back yet? Mine seem ready to work again. You're right, Sevvie was still suspicious of Hermione and did something really stupid in this chapter. I hope you like it!

**Real-fan05: **I have updated again and it has hardly been a month! Aren't you proud of me? No?

**kurtfan5678: **Thanks, hope you like this chapter as well.

**ShinHee Tae: **Oh, don't cry. *hand you a tissue* There's still one last heartache in this chapter, and they would get together next chapter, I promise.

**Kathryn: **Severus was back in his sardonic batman form in this chapter. Well, sorta back anyway. Hope you like it!

**AddisonRae: **Thanks! Sevvie and Hermione couldn't be together until next chapter. Be patient!

**Joshua Glass: **Severus/Hermione forever! Yeah! *ahem* Glad you like the story!

**Kryptonite: **I did have a happy birthday, thanks! Here is the next chappy, hope you like it!

**Bullwinkle435: **If you cried last chapter, you'll probably cry reading this too. *hand over tissue* Lol. Hope you like it!

**Noriko M. Chijinu: **I loved that line too! I just kept reading it and rewriting it! Lol. Let's talk in MsN sometime!

**Suus: **Here's the next chappy, and yeah, of course this goes before school! *grin*

**Sallymander: **Severus and Hermione are born to be together, yay! Hope you like this chapter too!

**Sev's love: **Thanks, I did have a happy birthday. Keep on reading!

Thanks for all the 'happy birthday's, you guys are the best! *wipe a tear* I turned 18 yesterday and am already feeling old! Lol.

----------

As soon as Severus stepped out of the dungeons, his happiness began to dwindle away like snow in a March afternoon. It was replaced by a familiar headache as he approached the Great Hall and the buzzing noises of the students reached his ear. He was a morning person- as long as he was allowed to stay in his dungeon and have a nice cup of coffee.

He entered the Hall in his usual cloak-billowing manner, the patented sneer in place. He strode to the High Table straightaway, not gracing the other tables a quick glance- not even the Griffindor table. He could see it clearly in the back of his head, the way Hermione put down her goblet and beamed at him, the way her eyes turned dull in disappointment when he did not even look at her. His insides twisted at the expression on her face, and he suppressed a sigh as he sat down beside Dumbledore.

"Good morning, Severus," the Headmaster greeted cheerfully. Severus grunted in response.

Pouring himself a steaming cup of black coffee, Severus turned his attention to the students, or rather, to _the _student. She was laughing with Potter and Longbottom at something. Weasley was sitting next to Potter, sulking. Severus clenched his fists remembering how he kissed her the other night, and a string of curses ran through his mind. _How dare he!_

"Toast, Severus?" Dumbledore offered. Severus nodded absent-mindedly. He did not even notice when the older wizard loaded half a dozen toasts onto his plate.

She was still laughing with her friends and did not cast him a glance. Severus glared at her intently, hoping that she would look up and smile at him- just once would be enough...

"Merlin, Severus," a voice jerked him out of his thoughts. He turned to face McGonagall whom he had just realized was sitting next to him, and eyed the witch questioningly.

She rolled her eyes and pointed. "Did you mean to do that, Severus?"

He looked back down and sure enough, he had dipped a toast into his mug. He lifted the piece of soggy bread.

"Honestly," McGonagall said, half amused. "And you're the Order's most trusted spy."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Severus demanded.

"Well, for one thing, you are completely oblivious to your surroundings," the witch replied with a smirk. "Second, you are _staring_. I mean, can you be more obvious?"

"I am not ob-"

"Tell me, where was Miss Granger last night?" She stopped his retort with a hand, and smiled triumphantly at his expression. "Ahh, imagine my confusion when I went to the Griffindor Tower last night hoping to get some help from a young prefect, only to find that she was not in bed. According to her friends, she went to retrieve her bag and never returned-"

"Okay, okay!" He hissed. "You win. I am not worthy of being a spy."

"That's not what I meant," she patted his hand in consolingly. "I am merely trying to say that... well, just be good to her."

Severus mumbled something incoherent about nosy Griffindor witches, but McGonagall had already turned her attention to a joke the Headmaster was telling. The Potions Master did not join in the laughter, but focused his eyes on a certain student again.

_Am I really that obvious? _He thought to himself. Last night, instead of feeling hazy like a dream, became clearer and clearer by the moment. His every word, every action. And he had to admit that he _was _obvious. He had exposed himself, and that was the first on the 'Top Ten Don'ts of Spies'.

_*He pulled her onto his lap and put the steaming mug into her hand.*_

_ *"How did it get this far?"*_

_ *"I am sorry," he said formally, hiding the overwhelming guilt from his voice.*_

_ *"What will become of us?" He asked serenely into her hair.*_

_ *"Why did you evade me in my lessons?"*_

He swallowed a groan bitterly. Must he appear so weak? The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to smack himself on the head. He had repeated his mistakes, he had allowed the sentimental side of himself to gain an upper hand. He looked at Hermione. She was still laughing, unaware of his doubts and confusions. Of course, after last night, she would think everything was resolved. But he knew better.

_Or maybe they were laughing at- me?_

He shoved the thought ruthlessly away, but it lingered, like the ghost of his past.

----------

"You seem awfully happy today," complained Harry, who had shadows under his eyes. He was having strange dreams again.

"I'll brew you some Dreamless Sleep Potion later, Merlin knows I am an expert of that now," Hermione replied, rolling her eyes thinking of the many batches of the said potion she had brewed in her detentions.

It was a stormy winter afternoon. As the Griffindors moved down the stairs for Potions, they heard the wind howling above them. For apparent reasons, the dungeons seemed danker than usual.

"I hate it when it rains, this place smells funny," Lavender grumbled, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Like the Slytherins," Harry said, and gained a few appreciative sniggers from his friends.

"Hermione, last night-" It was Neville.

"What about last night?" Hermione asked sharply. Lavender and Harry stopped joking and pulled their ears up. The others walked past, including Ron, though he did not move on before throwing them a suspicious glare. Soon the four of them were left alone.

"Last night McGonagall came into the Common Room to find you- said something about a first year dueling with a second year Ravenclaw," Neville said. The four began to walk slowly.

"Merlin's beard, what did you say?" Hermione paled, but in the dim light none of her friends noticed.

"Well, I told her that you left your bag in detention and was not in the Common Room."

"And what did she say?"

"Strangely, she didn't say anything. She just left smiling," Neville recalled in a puzzled voice. 

"Where have you been last night, Hermy?" Lavender demanded.

"I-" Hermione blushed profoundly, and this time, Harry caught the pink patches on her cheeks.

"This has something to do with Snape," He said matter-of-factly, and Hermione's deepening blush confirmed his idea.

"Tell us what happened!" Lavender exclaimed impatiently. Hermione's silence had aroused her curiosity- she _needed_ to know.

Hermione looked at the three pairs of expectant eyes, then lowered her gaze. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your view point), the Potions classroom came into view.

----------

"Hermione," Harry whispered.

"Shhh," Hermione whispered back from the corner of her mouth. "He's coming to an important part, Harry!"

Harry leant back in defeat, and started kicking the chair in front of him impatiently. Parvati turned and threw him a warning glower. He sighed and focused on Snape's lecture. Or he tried to focus.

"-versatile. Not only is it useful as a cleaning agent, but when mixed with dragon bone marrow, it can effectively cure blindness-"

Snape was pacing up and down the aisles, occasionally pausing to read what the students were putting down. Harry looked at Hermione's long, word-packed parchment and back at his own empty one. He had no idea what Snape was teaching.

"Psst, Hermione," he tried again.

"For Merlin's sake Harry-"

Before she could finish the sentence, a parchment crumbled into a ball landed into her lap. Hermione picked it up and unfolded it. It was from Lavender and it read,

'Tell us what happened!' 

"You guys are-" Hermione started angrily, but for the second time she was being interrupted. This time, by the Potions Master himself.

"Mr. Potter, ten points for talking and disrupting my class; Miss Brown, ten points for passing notes, and another five points from each of you for disturbing another student."

Hermione snapped up and shot him a glare, torn between gratitude and annoyance. Sure, Harry and Lavender had stopped pestering her, but was it necessary for him to take away thirty points? The professor showed no emotion in his eyes though, and went back to his teaching.

After the lesson, the students filed out of the freezing classroom. Hermione stalled, putting her stuff into her bag ultra-slowly. She was the last to leave the room, but when she looked back by the door, he was hunching over his enormous desk, busy scribbling on the essays they just handed in. She stood there for a whole minute, but he did not look up. Hermione strongly suspected that he knew her presence. Then why didn't he acknowledge her? Sighing, she turned and left, thinking to herself that she would never understand this man.

And just as she had feared, Lavender, Harry and Neville were standing outside the classroom, waiting for her. She closed the wooden door behind her, and looked back at them defiantly.

"What took you so long?" Lavender could hardly hide her glee. There was definitely something going on between her friend and her professor, and she was so happy for them. Neville and Harry did not speak, but Hermione saw in their eyes the same longing for answers. She knew there was no escape.

"Fine," she said finally. "Fine, fine, fine." Taking the first step, she began to tell them what happened.

----------

When they finally emerged from the underground, Hermione had finished her story. She made it a brief one, cutting out most that she found embarrassing. Still, Harry and Neville grimaced when she stopped.

"If that weren't Snape, I would have said 'cute'," Harry commented. Neville nodded in assent.

"But it _is _cute," Lavender said, clapping Hermione's shoulder. "See? Aren't you glad that you listened to my advice? You got him!"

"I am not so sure," Hermione replied, staring out at the rumbling heavens. The clouds were pressing closer to the earth, and it seemed that it would be a rough night for Hogwarts.

"Hermy," Lavender soothed.

"Are you happy, Hermione?" Neville asked softly. She thought for a moment and nodded.

"Then that's what counts," Harry said, taking her hand and promising his support.

Hermione lowered her head and blinked away a falling tear. She had such nice friends, what more could a girl ask for? Shaking her head, she started to walk, changing the subject.

"What is this I heard about Ginny and Michael Corner, Neville?"

"Rumors," Neville waved a dismissive hand. "Ginny was helping him with his Arithmancy, and I guess that's why others think they're close. It's alright, we don't want too much attention."

Hermione tried to find any trace of resentment in his voice but to no avail. Neville had always been a quiet person, and it was understandable that he sounded almost relieved at the rumors that took others' minds off the couple for a while.

"Keep your eyes open, pal," Harry warned half-jokingly, "I heard that Michael Corner was telling his housemates that they were going out together."

"I trust Ginny," Neville replied curtly and firmly. Hermione looked at the boy whom she knew from first year and smiled.

----------

Hermione stared at herself in the mirror. She looked like she did last night- her robes red, her face pink from cold, and her hair frizzy as ever. She was not prettier, but she was not uglier either. Why didn't he smile at her during supper then? She took a deep breath.

"I am Hermione Granger," she said to the mirror. Then louder, "I am Hermione Granger."

"Yeah, we all know that," Parvati injected dryly from her bed.

"I am Hermione Granger." And if he showed affection to the Hermione last night, he would to her tonight. Taking another deep breath, she swung the bag over her shoulder and walked out of the dormitory.

----------

Another sand grain dropped through the narrow neck, another minute passed. Severus glared hard at the hourglass, as if threatening time to slow down. He thumbed his slender fingers on the desk. _Five minutes. Four minutes._

He wanted to see her. He wanted to see her so badly. However the more silver grains dropped into the lower glass, the stronger his urge to hide in his room. He hadn't looked at her properly since breakfast. He was afraid that others may find out how he felt. As a spy, he could not risk exposing himself. He was afraid to find her laughing with her friends, undoubtedly at him. As a spy, he had learnt not to trust anyone.

_I am not a spy. I am a coward._

He wanted to dismiss the thought, but he couldn't. _Last minute..._

Right on cue, someone knocked on the door.

"Good evening, professor," she poked her head in and greeted with a smile.

"Come in," he stood up, determined not to show his inner turmoil. She obeyed and closed the door behind her.

"What's my task tonight, professor?"

"You-" an idea struck the man. In a fleeting second several things ran through his head- doubts, queries, reassurances, curses- it was a wicked plan, but it would answer his doubts and calm his mind.

Yes, it was worth it, he decided. "Do you know what potions cure headaches?"

"There are several potions that can cure headaches, dizziness and nauseas. For example, the calming potion. That's a mild one. For stronger effects, the numbing potion is a good choice. There is also the Resco Tonic-" Hermione, being Hermione, answered correctly.

"The Resco Tonic would do," Severus said.

"Are you having a headache, sir?" Hermione tilted her head worriedly, then walked over to the man and covered his forehead with a palm. "You don't seem too warm to me."

Severus flinched at her nearness. Her hair was tickling his nose, and he had to restrain with all his willpower not to pull her closer.

"Well, if you're not feeling well, you should go see Madam Pomfrey," she stepped back, the worried look still on her face. 

He looked away guiltily. "I'm fine, it's merely a minor headache, nothing fatal."

"Are you sure-"

"Just brew the potion!" He said, more sharply than he had intended to, then added in a mellower tone, "please."

"The Resco Tonic. Can I really... I mean, it is really difficult," her eyes brightened at the notion of brewing a challenging potion, and she was thrilled that he trusted her to manage it. Severus could not help but smile a little seeing her excited look. He nodded and she rushed to the supply cabinet for the ingredients.

Severus sat down wearily behind his desk, and watched her from behind the stacks of parchments. She filled a large cauldron with water, and stirred in the newt eyes expertly. Looking at her bustling around the dungeon, the nagging voice of doubt at the back of his head grew more and more piercing.

_Was it the right thing to do? _ _Was it truly the best thing to do?_

He wanted to answer confidently, "Yes, it was." But now what seemed to be a perfect idea turned into a cunning trap. How could he do this to her, to one of the few that he cared about? How could he look at her though a spy's eyes? How could he use his deadly calculations on her? He looked at her russet hair, her shorter than average figure, the look of utmost concentration on her face- how could he compare her to... to _her_? They had nothing in common. Hermione, a self-righteous Griffindor, would never hurt him like _she_ did.

However, a Griffindor would never like him either.

_"I am just learning to like you..."_

It had to be a lie. A white lie, maybe, but a lie nonetheless. He closed his eyes painfully. The plan would show her true intentions, and after that, he could retreat back into his lair and lick his wounds. _Tonight, everything would be revealed._

----------

"The potion is ready, sir," her voice stirred him gently out of his thoughts. He studied the bottle of azure drink. It was in the right shade of blue. _At least she did not try to poison me,_ he noted to himself sardonically.

"Thank you," he replied and prepared himself. _This is going to hurt..._ Grabbing the phial, he downed its content in one gulp.

And fell promptly onto the desk.

He slackened his fingers and allowed the glass phial to shatter on the floor. Hermione gasped.

"Sir? Are you okay?" She ran to his side.

_Come on, get it over with. _Severus held his breath and waited. _Just laugh and walk away..._

"You are starting to scare me," she said in a strangely calm voice and began to shake him. He did not wake up.

"The potion should be faultless," she continued to shake him. "There is nothing wrong I put in it."

_Go on, laugh and say this is exactly what you hoped for when you started this..._

"Newt eyes, spider legs, belladonna essence, moon leaves..." Severus realized that she was ranting. She was still shaking him weakly, but she no longer sounded calm. In fact, her voice was rickety, like she was near tears.

_Potter would love to see me like this. Go get him. Go get him and you can laugh at me..._

She reached for his nose to check for his breath. He strengthened himself against her shaky touch.

_I am dead! You are free to laugh now!_

"This can't be true," she was sobbing now. "This can't be true. This can't be true. This can't be true."

Severus listened to her sobs, and his bowels seemed to be squeezed by the Giant Squid's tentacles. He winced imperceptibly. He had expected laughter. Well, maybe not laughter- that would be too Slytherin for her- but definitely pity, panic, guilt. Eventually she'd ran away, afraid to be found with a dead body.

"This- this can't be," she panted, "This is a-a-"

He noted in dismay that she was crying. Crying over _him_. She kept crying and crying and seemed to be out of breath...

_Asthma!_

The word stabbed into his mind suddenly. He sat up and grabbed her shoulder. The girl was absolutely pallid, and she was heaving dangerously.

"Miss Granger!"

"He- he-"

"Miss Granger!" He watched in horror as the girl sobbed hysterically. He shook her like she did a minute ago.

"You, you are d- dead."

"I most certainly am not," he reassured her, rubbing her back.

"Y-you a- a- are a-a-alive?"

"I am alive."

"You are a- alive!" She exclaimed, cupping his face into her hands. "You- you-"

He let her examined his face as though she had never seen him before. "I am alive," he echoed her relief.

"You- I didn't kill you!"

"You didn't kill me."

"You are alive!"

"I am alive."

"I didn't kill you with a faulty potion, you are not dead!"

"I-"

"Why did you do that?" She stood up abruptly and staggered.

"Look out!"

She steadied herself by grabbing a nearby chair. Severus stood up.

"Back away from me," she said weakly, clutching her heart. The command was faint, but for some reason it pinned Severus to where he was. Her sobs had subsided, but she was still hiccupping. She inhaled deeply before speaking again, "Why did you do that?"

"Miss Granger-"

"Don't 'Miss Granger' me!" She bellowed, the initial joy of knowing that he was unharmed gone, replaced by an alien anger. Her voice was feeble and her lungs hurt more with every word she spoke, but she did not stop. "Is this some kind of joke? Is this what I meant to you? Is this all what our relationship meant to you? A joke?" He opened his mouth but Hermione did not offer him any chance to talk. 

"Last night- last night," she closed her eyes agonizingly, "you- we-"

"Last night is a mistake," he lied.

"Yes, and so is everything," she whispered. "Every time I began to think maybe there actually _is_ a wee chance for you to- to like me back, you smashed my hope. It is only a joke to you, a mistake..."

"You don't want me to like you back," Severus said silently, more like he was convincing himself than conversing. "You don't like me. It is a lie."

"No," Hermione shook her head sadly. "What you just did is a lie. I hadn't lied."

"That is not-"

"It is true. Why can't you accept the fact that I like you?"

"You... like me?" He repeated incredulously.

"I _liked _you," she said, and with that she snatched her bag and left the room with a sickening slam. Severus stared at the tightly closed door.

_It is not a lie. Merlin, what have I done?_

As her words sunk in, a film of sweat formed on his forehead. He slumped into his chair.

Was it irreversible? Was what he did unforgivable? She said she liked him. As in _like_- a type of affection, a kind of trust, a form of bliss. He had betrayed her feelings.

And he had betrayed his own.

----------

Severus rushed into the Great Hall. It was deserted, but he was not alone.

"Why, how surprisingly early, Severus," greeted the Headmaster, who was apparently in some deep discussion with McGonagall before Severus intruded. Even from the entrance, which was almost thirty feet from the High Table, Severus could feel the heat of the witch's glare. He shrugged it off and glided over to them.

"Good morning, Albus, Minerva," Severus was a bit unnerved by McGonagall's unrelenting glower. But surely, she couldn't have known what happened last night? Not so quickly?

"It's barely eight, I suppose you had a good night's sleep?"

"I- I did," he fibbed.

If possible, McGonagall's glare turned even harder at his lie. Severus lowered his head and found a sudden interest in the woodchips on the table. He had never been more grateful for the students who were slowly filing in. As food appeared on their plates, McGonagall's mind seemed to be taken off Severus' skull for a while.

Meanwhile, as more students poured into the Hall, Severus became increasingly restless. He picked up the coffee jar for the third time of the morning, only to put it down again realizing that his cup was already filled to the brim. But his mind was not on the coffee, or the breakfast, for that matter. He was searching for a particular shade of brown among the mass of squirming students. Up and down the Griffindor Table he looked, and received quite a few death glares that resembled McGonagall's.

She was not there.

He returned to his office and prepared for his lessons. A new day was about to begin. 

All he had to do was wait... 

---------- 

Wait he did indeed. For a whole week. 

For an entire week he didn't see her. For an entire week she did not show up for detentions, or his lessons, or any meals. He gritted his teeth thinking of the girl's stupidity. _She'd better remember to have her meals properly! _Not only once when he saw the empty seat at the Griffindor Table had he the urge to pull her out from the dormitory and shove food into her. He never did that of course. In fact, he had not attempted to find her at all. He lurked, observed, and waited with a patience that surprised even himself. 

But as the days ticked away, he became more and more agitated. His tolerance dwindled, his despair grew. _What if I could never see her again? _Thoughts like this were ridiculous, farcical, but they kept haunting him at night. He couldn't sleep much, and even when he could, she would be in his dreams with accusing tears. Whenever he woke up in his sweat-soaked sheets, he would remember the night when they cuddled in front of the fire- merely days ago, but it seemed to him like eternities- and his conscience couldn't help but remind him: _it's all your fault._

He hadn't realized how important she had become to him- until now. The feeling grew especially powerful this afternoon. 

It was the last lesson of the day. When the fifth-year Griffindors and Slytherins came into the classroom he searched for her in anticipation, but like yesterday, and the day before that, she was not among them. He sighed inwardly but made sure that none of his emotions were shown. 

"Twenty points, Miss Parkinson. Get rid of the gum," he snapped, and ignored the goggles his own students were sending him. He was being childish, he knew, taking out his frustration on students like that. But at the moment, he honestly did not care.

He finished his lecture in relative peace. He did have a few slips- like nearly saying 'Hermione' when he was supposed to say 'herbal cures', and describing burned Crosky vines as 'chocolate frizzles' when a plain 'brown' would do- but nothing that could cost him his reputation. After ordering the students to start making the potion, he sat down. He had mountains upon mountains of paper to grade, for he wasn't exactly in the mood to do so in the past few days. But work remained work, and had to be done. He picked up a quill and failed the first paper without reading it.

She should be there, next to Longbottom's cauldron, stirring in her own and whispering instructions to the boy. But she was not. It was solely his fault. Without her, the dungeon seemed even duller than usual. His _life _was even duller than usual. Failing the fifth paper, he threw away the quill and rubbed his eyes. This could not continue.

Finally the lesson ended. Students lined their potions on his desk and left. He watched as the Griffindors moved towards the exit and struggled- now was his last chance to stop himself and enjoy a good night of sulking in his room.

"Potter," too late, he called out. The boy, being one of the last to leave, hesitated by the door. Longbottom stopped as well, but left when Potter signaled him to do so. He walked out from his desk.

"Professor?" The boy requested in feign courtesy.

"Where is she?" He asked calmly, walking over to him until they were barely inches apart.

"Who is 'she'?" If Severus intended to intimidate the boy into telling him the answer, he was failing miserably. Potter looked straight into his eyes, clearly not afraid of his professor's looming form.

"Miss Granger. Where is she?" Swallowing a sarcastic remark, he asked again. He had not stopped the boy for a fight, he stopped him for an answer.

"Funny you should ask," Potter replied coldly, "I thought you don't care."

"Ten points," he said with the same coldness. "She's been absent for a week. I have the right to know her whereabouts."

"Go on, take more points off me," challenged the-boy-who-lived. "As far as I am concerned, you can take as many-"

"Bloody hell!" Severus cursed and grabbed the boy's collar. "Tell. Me. Where. She. IS!"

"I. Am. Not. Telling. You. Anything!" Potter imitated his tone, despite in the very real risk of being strangled. Severus released him with a rough shove. The boy staggered and began to cough.

"S-see, this is w-why I won't tell you where Her-Hermione is," Potter said between gasps. "Y- you will only make her worse."

Severus halted in his pacing track, and shot his student a stabbing glare. "What do you mean by worse?"

The boy only pursed his lips tighter.

"Bloody, stubborn Griffindors-" Severus balled his fists and flexed his fingers repeatedly, suppressing with all his might the desire to punch the other wizard. Dashing to Potter's front, he took a deep breath before speaking. His vocal cords contracted painfully from his effort to stay calm.

"What happened to her? What _happened_?"

Maybe it was the desperate plea in his last word, or maybe it was some unknown pity for the man in Potter's heart, Severus noticed a softening in the boy's eyes, and a flicker of hope rose in him.

"Ginny found Hermione crumpled on their dorm's floor a week ago," Potter explained reluctantly. "She had fainted. Apparently it was an asthma attack. Madam Pomfrey reckoned she cried on her bed until she fainted and fell onto the ground."

Severus felt his stomach scrunched up at the news. "How- how is she?"

"She is not going to die," the boy replied wryly. "But she's too weak to be let out of the infirmary, according to Madam Pomfrey."

"Does she eat much?"

"No," he seemed a little surprised at the question. "No she doesn't. And she insists on doing the day's homework and studies."

"Why, that harebrained, imbecile-" the Potions Master looked like he was ready to run out of the dungeons to the Hospital Wing at this instant. His least-favorite student raised an eyebrow.

"Professor," he began in his most reasonable voice, hoping to knock some sense into his obviously mad teacher. "Don't show up just yet, please. You may upset Hermione."

"Upset her?" Severus ceased his tirade and scrutinized the boy in alarm. "What, did she say anything about her fainting?" 

"She wouldn't tell us anything. She just smiled and talked about her missing lessons and stared into blank space a lot."

"She didn't say-"

"No, but the afternoon before her blackout she told us something about you two, so we know the fainting has to do with you," he glared at the his teacher. "Hermione is my best friend, and I have given her my full support. Whatever you have done, undo it."

"Don't teach me what to do, Potter," Severus replied distractedly and waved a shooing hand, and when he was alone in the chamber once more, he fell into deep contemplation of what his next step should be.

----------

A/N: Males are so stupid. I want to smack Sevvie writing this. Hopefully by the next chapter he would have figured out something and they'd get together. Please REVIEW this and my other stories. Anonymous reviewers please leave your emails to get onto the mailing list. Feel free to send me emails and add me to your MsN. Toodles!


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to the HP universe.

A/N: Finally, here's the complete chappie 17. It was way too long, I know. I just hope you like it. I will be leaving Hong Kong to Hawaii in 11 days time. I am so excited! Wish me a good trip!

**Ezmerelda: **Sevvie is a total gentleman over dinner, heaven bless him.

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I know there are bunches of people that I'd left out... please know that you are all in my heart! Thank you! I love you all!

----------

Severus halted at the corner. It was a long, straight, brightly-lit corridor to the Hospital Wing, there was no way to stick to the shadows now.

Despite what Potter said, he felt he ought to visit her in the Hospital Wing- what else was he supposed to do anyway? He peeked out from his hiding place again. The corridor seemed deserted enough. Robes swishing behind, he started towards the infirmary. Each step felt heavier to him. What should he say to her? What would she say? What if- what if she started crying again?

He did not notice that his breaths were coming out short and rough. The corridor suddenly shortened, and before he knew it, he had reached the door. He stared at it, his mind blank. Should he, or should he not? His hands became clammy than ever. The brass knob glistened challengingly.

By some miracle, time solved the dilemma for him. Before he had time to bolt, the door had swung open from the inside. Out came Longbottom and the youngest Weasley.

"- she should have at least taken- _you_!"

He barely had time to raise an eyebrow at their holding hands. Ginny Weasley made a movement but was pulled back by Longbottom. At least the boy had the courtesy to nod.

"Manners, Miss Weasley. Five points," he drawled easily, hiding his agitation.

"Sod the points," the redhead replied impatiently. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Ginny," Longbottom tugged the girl's sleeve gently but resolutely. For once she quieted and stood back.

"I roam the castle as I desire, and my purposes are of no concern to you," he said coldly. This was why he disliked Griffindors. They were all the same rude, reckless, tactless donkey-brains.

"Not if you're disturbing Hermione!" She reached for her wand.

"Ginny!"

Severus had to admire the boy for his reflexes. When he was reaching for his own wand, Longbottom had pulled Weasley back, hard, and encircled her completely. He could see her ears glowing in a color that rivaled her hair's.

"Nev-"

Another thing Severus had to marvel at was that the boy did not seem to mind a struggling girl in his arms very much. He himself could never do that in front of others. But then, if it was Hermione...

_Oh, get a grip, _he mentally ordered himself and focused on Longbottom again.

"Hermione's feeling much better these two days," he was saying, "but I'm afraid she's not up to it right now. Seeing you, I mean."

"But none of your visits upset her? Not even her brother's?" Severus replied angrily, and threw the young Weasley a glare.

"Please refrain from seeing her just now," the younger wizard said relentlessly and, with a still struggling Ginny in arms, left.

----------

Fly me to the moon,

And let me play among the stars;

Let me see what spring

Is like on Jupiter and Mars.

In other words, hold my hand-

In other words, darling kiss me-

¡ 

Hermione sat up in her bed. The infirmary was empty but for herself, she was alone. Moonlight poured from the windows, making stretched squares of light on the floor. She looked around for the source of disturbance that had waken her. Unlike previous nights, when she had either taken the Dreamless Sleep Potion and slept until noon or jerked out of sleep by nightmares, she woke up tonight in a relatively calm state.

Something had waken her up, a mellow, gentle push. She listened.

And there came the sound again.

It was a teeny sound, but it was very clear to her ears, as if a bee was beating its wings next to her, as if every note was played straight into her mind. Where did it come from? Making sure that Madam Pomfrey was not around, she slipped out of her sheets and into her slippers, then went out of the room.

The sound did not grow much louder outside the Hospital Wing, but it grew clearer. She now recognized it to be a tune, a melancholy, heart-breaking one at that. Her heart gave an involuntary wrench hearing it.

_What is that?_

Each note touched a cord within her, and soon her steps were falling into the rhythm of the tune. She trembled in the night's breeze. Or maybe she was trembling to the tune. She did not know which. She found herself being tugged forwards by the music. Flight after flight of stairs she climbed, room after room she passed, but she hardly noticed her fatigue, for her feet seemed to be walking on their own accord, pulled forwards by the music.

_Where is it coming from?_

It became an overwhelmingly sad song. Hermione walked, then skipped, then half-ran, not even worried about being caught out of bed. The sound of her flat slippers tapping on the floor echoed in the empty castle, which had never seemed this vast before. She ran, stopping occasionally, traced the floating notes, and went off again. Eventually she reached the Astronomy Tower. She sincerely hoped that it was not _occupied. _Luckily, when she pushed open the wooden door, the circular chamber was empty, not a pair of love-bird in sight.

Up here the melody was even clearer. She shivered in her thin silk robe and looked around. Then she saw it. Charmed to be imperceptible, a tiny door stood at her left. She would not have noticed it if she was not looking for it. She pushed it open and immediately a gust of icy wind rushed in. She shivered again and stepped onto the spiral stairs outside. With each step up, she felt the tone binding her tighter and tighter, the lump in her throat growing bigger and bigger...

Finally, she climbed onto the top of the stairs. Frightened of height, she dared not look down and stared ahead instead. On the top of the Astronomy Tower, two steps away from her, was a small veranda that could barely accommodate two persons.

And there, sat Severus.

----------

He had heard someone coming, but he played on. He did not give a damn who caught him in this state, and if anything else failed, he could still hex the unfortunate intruder into oblivion.

_Pad. Pad. Pad. _The muffled footsteps found their way up the concealed stairs and grew closer. He did not cease playing. There would be plenty of time to reach for his wand.

At last, the footsteps stopped as they reached the top. He sighed inwardly, looked up, and froze.

He was looking into a pair of eyes. _The _pair of eyes. Familiar, warm, hazel. He had dreamt of them every night. He had dreamt of her every night. And there she stood, in her fluttering white robe and frizzy hair, glowing like a hallucination.

_No, not a hallucination, an angel. Glowing like an angel._

"You," she whispered.

He did not reply. Surreal, surreal... but it was real. She was real. The realization dawned upon him suddenly.

"What are you doing here in _that_?" He barked, breaking the spell, and grabbed her arm. With a mighty tug, he pulled her into his arms and threw his coat around her.

"Oww," She complained softly, but snuggled closer into his chest. He tightened his arms. Merlin's blasted cauldron, she felt much skinnier than before. Unable to control himself, he lowered his head into her hair and took a deep breath of her sweet smell of shampoo. They sat like this in silence for ten minutes, lost in each other's presence and did not care. The moon showered its godly silver over them, and the millions of stars twinkled.

"How can you walk around in the night without a scarf or a coat on?" He demanded, breaking the silence. He was afraid that she would move away, and encircled her closer. Fortunately, she seemed quite contented to be where she was.

"You tricked me," she said with her head on his shoulder, "again."

"I did not," He denied a little too sharp.

"Tricked me up here," she continued as if he hadn't spoken. "Tricked me into seeing you, that's what you did."

"Miss Granger-"

"And yet, I still fell for it," she said serenely.

Bloody hell, she had always had a way of twisting his insides. He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her a little further, forcing her to look straight at him. "Look- no, look here," he toke out a small silver object resembling a harmonica from his robes. It shone innocently on his large palm.

"What's this?" Momentarily caught up in its beauty and forgetting her misery, she regarded it with interest.

"This," tapping the instrument lightly, he said, "is a Feelycon."

"What's it do?"

He put it up to his lips, and a tune began pouring out of the small instrument. The music was lucid, the notes quivered in midair and disappeared into the night. Again the feeling of being tied to the tune filled Hermione's chest.

¡ 

Fill my heart with song,

And let me sing forever more;

You are all I long for

All I worship and adore.

In other words, please be true-

In other words, I love you-

"Did you hear that?" He asked when he finished.

"Of course I did, it's beautiful."

"Feelycon is more or less like a wand- while the latter channels our magical power, Feelycon channels our emotions into music. And only... soul mates... can hear each other's emotions."

She fell silent after that, and after a while, asked, "have anyone else heard your, erm, emotions?"

"Yes," he smiled at her subtle jealousy, and looked out onto the grounds. His eyes focused somewhere above the swaying trees and darkened. "Yes, there was someone else who could hear them."

She sat up straighter. Someone else. Who someone else?

"My parents didn't want me," he began matter-of-factly. "Especially my father. He was contented to have my brother, and I was an accident to him. He seldom spanked me or scolded me- he simply acted as though I didn't exist. So I practiced Dark Arts and followed everything my brother did at a very young age."

"Your family-"

"An ancient, pure-blood family," he confirmed. "The Snapes were known for their potions and darkness. We were rumored to have black blood. Anyway, my father encouraged the using and practicing of Dark Arts at home. So in an attempt to win his approval, I tried to master every Dark spell I could lay my hands on. But of course I never did. Gain his approval, I mean.

"I was sorted into Slytherin, and stayed in Hogwarts for seven whole years, returning home only in summer. It was in my sixth year that I met this girl in Ravenclaw. She-"

"What's her name?" She interrupted him.

"Vera Malfoy."

She gasped at the last name. He nodded.

"She was Lucius' youngest cousin. In any case, we met in our sixth year, and we- I- had the happiest time of my life. She was very cold to everyone else, and I did not know what caused her to warm for me. She was very quick-witted, and-"

"Was she pretty?" She asked with a pout.

"Very," he replied, oblivious to the sudden blaze in her eyes. "She used to call me 'ugly git' when we bantered, and I would tease her back. We seldom quarrel, though. Those were very happy times..." his voice trailed off thoughtfully.

Noticing something, she turned slightly and watched him.

Taking a deep breath, Severus struggled to get the next line out. "Then, she left."

"Left?" Hermione asked, choking slightly. "To where?"

"To Seus, my brother," he said emotionlessly. "They were married in my seventh year. I joined the Death Eaters after that." He mentioned his former job- which Hermione had been avoiding to do- with an offhanded tone. He waited for her to answer, but she did not say anything. He turned in enquiry, and was flabbergasted to find her weeping. She felt his gaze and buried her face into him.

"There's nothing to cry about," he said and patted her back awkwardly.

She sniffed in his shirt.

"Stupid little child," he chanted lowly and stroked her hair.

They sat in silence. The wind seemed to grew tired of blowing and had died down. The moon was full and enormous. More stars gleamed.

"Can... can you play that again?" She pointed to the silver Feelycon. Her voice was still a little coarse from the sobs and hiccups.

He nodded, and brought it once more to his lips. Hermione closed her eyes and leant back.

¡

Fly me to the moon,

And let me play among the stars;

Let me see what spring

Is like on Jupiter and Mars.

In other words, hold my hand-

In other words, darling kiss me-

Fill my heart with song,

And let me sing forever more;

You are all I long for

All I worship and adore.

In other words, please be true-

In other words, I love you-

¡

"I'm sorry, for everything," he whispered as the last note swirled into the darkness.

In the dark, he could see her eyes glittering again. As though just realizing she was supposed to stay angry with him, Hermione pulled away from him and fled down the stairs.

He watched her pensively as she disappeared from sight .

¡ 

In other words, I love you...

----------

Everything went back to normal, as if their intimate night-talk had never happened, but Severus had never felt so light-hearted. He whistled the next morning as he stepped into the staff room. Minerva was sitting in front of her desk, and her piercing glare was on him once he entered.

"Morning, Minerva."

The older witch mumbled in response. Severus shrugged and went over to his own desk. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Minerva twitching to come over. His lips turned up at the corners instinctively.

"Severus," finally, the Transfiguration extraordinaire gave in to her curiosity and came over, settling herself in the opposite chair.

"What can I help you?"

Ignoring his grin, Minerva cut straight to the point. "What happened last night?"

"Last night? What about last night?"

"Severus," she hissed his name with unusual venom. "_What_ have you done again?"

"I don't feel the need to report my every action to anyone, Minerva," his voice hardened.

"She wanted to be out of the Hospital Wing this morning," Minerva slumped back and said. "This girl, who was still so pale and hardly ate anything yesterday..."

"Did Poppy agree to let her out?" He asked sharply.

"She sees no need in keeping the girl further."

"Bloody hell."

"Indeed," she said angrily. "Look, Severus, I never stepped into this because I trusted Hermione... and you. But now I am not so sure. If this continues and all you do is to hurt her-"

"Funny you should say this, considering how you and the Headmaster-!"

"What about me, Severus?"

A voice came from behind the pair and both jumped. Severus twirled and saw Dumbledore with an amused look on his face. The Headmaster walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Albus," Minerva cried out for help.

"You're not pulling him into this," warned Severus.

"I will not interfere in your personal affairs, Severus," Dumbledore smiled with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, "by the way, that's a nice little tune last night. I never realized you have such musical talents."

"Albus!" He exclaimed in frustration. He had forgotten the old man, being the brilliant Legilimens he was, was incredible in catching others' emotions. Minerva looked at both of them with interest. Severus had no doubt she would pester the Headmaster later until he gave in.

"I suggest you to apologize more formally to Miss Granger," Dumbledore continued. "A date, maybe?" With a thundering laugh, the eccentric old man left the room, Minerva closely following.

Severus sat, dumbfounded, his happiness this morning all gone. The stacks of essays on his desk stared back blankly at him, giving him no answer. He thought of her retreating back last night, her auburn hair flying behind her, and suddenly the idea of taking her out for dinner seemed greatly tempting.

----------

Hermione raced up the stairs with an envelop clutched tightly in hand, not even considering her trachea's condition. The Fat Lady eyed her frowningly.

"Now, now, young lady-"

"_Soaring hyacinth_," Hermione interrupted. The painting swung forward involuntarily.

She climbed through the hole, ignoring the Fat Lady's nag. The Common Room was deserted but for a few third-years, but Hermione felt the need to be completely _alone. _She skipped up the stairs two at a time to the dorm, which was empty. She sighed in relief, slumped into her bed, and squinted at the envelop in the dim light. She recognized the small seal on it.

Her breathing quickened.

Not wanting to tear it, she opened the letter with trembling fingers. Inside was a piece of card, small in size and elegant in design. She took it out and immediately saw the spiny writing of his.

'I apologize for everything bad I ever did to you. Allow me the honor and the opportunity to make it up by taking you out this Friday night. Write your reply on this card and return it before tonight.' The card read.

Hermione felt a rush of desire to scribble a 'yes' on the card, and suspected the he had charmed it so that she would accept his offer, a very tempting one at that...

"Hermione?"

She jerked up and fumbled to hide the card. Too late. Lavender had spotted it and, before she had the chance to protest, snatched it from her hands. She watched apprehensively as Lavender read it, her eyes flashing at every word.

"That git!" Lavender commented fiercely and threw it onto the bedspread. Hermione picked it up.

"Should I say 'yes'?" She asked timidly, backing away unnoticeably from the fuming girl.

"Are you crazy? Of course not!" Lavender threw herself onto the bed as well. "This is probably just another trick to tease you. Hurt you. See how far he can go. Gain advantage of you-"

"He'll never do that!" Hermione's eyes widened in shock.

"Says who?"

"But I thought you are supporting me," Hermione said, pouting.

"I _was_," Lavender corrected her. "Look at this card, not even a 'please'! That arrogant sod!"

"He can't be lying," _I heard it myself last night. _This Hermione did not say.

"This guy has some serious groveling to do before you forgive him," Lavender said. Hermione chuckled.

"Don't you think he- everyone- deserves a second chance?" She asked, her eyes softening.

"Hermy," Lavender sighed.

"What should I wear?"

"Hermy," Lavender sighed again, then brightened up. "The pink ones, of course."

----------

Severus paced in his dungeon. Not that he did not do this often, but he seldom paced in his dungeon for over three hours. One hour was usually his limit, for he grew dizzy and bored circling the small chamber. But tonight was not an usual situation, not at all. Tonight, he had asked a student out on a date. And she had not replied him yet.

_Merlin, what is this world coming to? _He buried his face into his hands, finally sitting down. He felt like a fifteen-year-old.

At last, the long-awaited tap was heard. He spun quickly, nearly broke his neck, and straightened his robe. Putting on a casual sneer, he walked over and pulled open the door. It was not Hermione.

It was Minerva.

In her hand was a crumpled envelop.

He swore to the Almighty that this was a kind of revenge on Hermione's part. The witch strode past him with a smirk. He closed the door and turned to face her.

"Gimme that," he said.

"Goodness, Severus, have you forgotten your manners?" Minerva asked with fake shock. He gritted his teeth.

"Good evening, Minerva."

"Same to you," the witch said comfortably and sat down. He had no choice but to sit down as well. Summoning a bottle of Firewhiskey, he poured them both a glass and gulped his. Minerva watched in amusement and took a sip.

"So," he started, trying hard not to stammer, and poured himself another glassful of alcohol. "What did she say?"

"I dunno. Haven't read it myself," she drawled slowly, enjoying the man's irritation every moment.

"Hand it over," he said, and added painfully. "_Please._"

"Wait," the witch lifted her glass and smiled. "Let's have a toast, shall we? For your success?"

"Success," he murmured darkly and they clanked their glasses. Minerva then gave him the envelop. He took it with clammy hands. She observed his face with interest, and saw the anxiety in his eyes turned into ecstasy. She stood up.

"Be _good _to her," she warned in front of the door. He merely nodded.

"Good luck, Severus."

----------

"Don't fret," Lavender advised gaily from her bed, with an amused expression on her face. Hermione ignored her, and continued her quest for the perfect outfit.

"What's going on here?" Ginny entered and wrinkled her nose. "What's with all the dust?"

"Cinderella's Ball," Lavender pointed at Hermione's bending back over some age-old trunk. Ginny chuckled knowingly.

"Oh. The Big Date."

"Would you two shut up? I am trying to think here," a muffled voice came from behind Hermione's four-poster. The other two girls exchanged a look, and shrugged.

The room fell silent, except the small sounds of shuffling and ruffling Hermione was making, dragging trunks around and pulling out new gowns.

After a while, Ginny could not bear it any longer and began,

"Do not wear-"

Hermione emerged from behind the bed at that moment. She was wearing an ankle-length, sleeveless, white chiffon gown.

"-white." Ginny finished hesitantly and stared. Lavender turned and she, too, stared.

Hermione smiled shyly and twirled, like a butterfly. When she saw that her friends were not going to give any comment, she stomped slightly and demanded, "so?"

"I agree with Gin. No white for you," Lavender shook herself out of the initial shock, and said. Ginny nodded, then shook her head.

"What's wrong with this dress?" Hermione pouted and looked at herself in the mirror. She twirled again.

"There's nothing wrong with the dress," Lavender went behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. "It is you, Hermy."

"Me?"

"You're too-"

Merlin, she never realized how thin Hermione had gotten.

Hermione was puzzled. "Too what?"

"Slim?" Ginny suggested gently.

"Fragile," breathed Lavender. There was no other word for it. Hermione looked slightly better than a porcelain doll.

"Fragile? Me?" Hermione examined herself critically. She was not fat, never had been, but she was not slim like Parvati or Lavender either. But suddenly she seemed to know what Lavender was talking about. Her arms and her waist looked like they would snap any moment. Even her face looked small under her auburn bush of hair. Small and pale. She was almost transparent in this dress. Indeed, it was as if she was looking at another entirely different person.

"Gin's right. No white for you," Lavender snapped out of her thoughts and returned to herself.

"But, but," Hermione protested.

"No buts."

"But I like it," Hermione whispered under her friend's glare.

"But you look like you would be blown away by any wandering gust of wind."

"Don't be silly," Hermione smiled. "This one feels right."

"This one feels right, that one feels right," Lavender said pointedly. "You're always feeling right about something."

Of course Hermione understood. "This one _is _right." She stressed.

"At least put on a shawl, hmm?" Ginny came up from behind and smiled encouragingly.

----------

Severus stared at his hands and seemed to see beads of sweat rolling on them. They felt so wet. Balling his left hand into a fist, he knocked three times on the door determinedly.

He was not shaking. He was not anxious. Why would he be? He was a fully grown-up, mature man in his late-thirties, not some boy on his first date. He had long past that phrase. He had done this before.

Merlin bless him, he _was_ shaking. Inside, at least.

The door opened slowly, revealing two girls in their uniforms. Lavender Brown and Ginny Weasley. He let out a breath that he didn't he had been holding.

"She's inside," said Weasley coldly as she walked past him and descended the stairs. Brown followed without a word, but shot him a glare that delivered clearly the message: "Be good to her, or else!" Hermione had some really protective friends. Shaking the thought away, he walked into the dormitory.

The room was dimly lit by a lamp on a bedside table, but he could still make out her silhouette on a bed. She turned around and stood up quickly.

"You are punctual," she said.

"And you are exquisite," he replied.

For a moment none spoke, each taking in each others' presence. His heart flipped at her frailness, and flipped again knowing that it was his fault. Gently he walked over to her, picked her hand up and planted a kiss on it.

"Let's go, shall we?"

----------

It would be the end of term soon, and everyone was enjoying the holiday spirit in the Common Room, packing and deciding what presents to buy. Hermione and Severus, therefore, exited Hogwarts undetected.

The sky was exceptionally clear for a winter night. Thousands of stars hung like lamps and glowed from above. The pair walked in silence, until a gust of wind passed them, ruffling the remaining leaves on the trees that flanked the road. Hermione was glad that she had put on a long burgundy coat instead of a shawl. Still, she quivered.

Severus noticed this, and without a word pulled her closer. Knowing there would be no use to object, Hermione relaxed and slipped an arm into his, nuzzling closer in the process.

"Why do you always wear far fewer than you should?" Severus questioned.

"This is charmed to be warmer than it looks," Hermione said, then laughed at her own lie.

"I know a few jinxes that can do that," he said, waving his hand mockingly. "Just a simple flick of the wand-"

"Oh, oh no," she laughed again, shaking her head. "No thank _you._ I prefer the way you're doing it now."

"I bet you do," the hint of a grin tugged at one end of his lips.

She blushed and looked down, finding a sudden interest in the twigs that lined the road. Then, trying to change the subject, she asked, "where are we going?"

Severus grinned broader. So blatant, tactless like a Griffindor she was. He could read her like a book anytime. That's what he liked about her.

And yes, he guessed he liked her. A bit, maybe.

"You'll see," he drawled, secretive, like a Slytherin he was.

----------

"Wow."

"You liked it," he said, more a statement than a question. He knew it from her eyes. They widened when the waitress brought them to their table. Not to mention her mouth, which was hanging slightly open, and the way she breathed the 'wow'. He was positively assured that she liked the place he picked.

"I- I have never-" words failed her. Running her fingers along the white tablecloth, she whispered again, "wow."

He went over to pull the chair for her. She sat down with her eyes on the table, not able to stop herself from marveling.

"This place is amazing, Professor. It is so pretty and so elegant and- I- I mean-" Hermione looked around, then locked her eyes on his. "This is exactly the place-"

"The place?"

"The place where our first date should be," she finished, smiling now. "Where- no, I mean, _how_ did you find this perfect little restaurant?"

"Candles, flowers, soft music. How difficult can it be? You're so predictable."

"Girls are all predictable."

"Why do females enjoy dining in the scarcest amount of light with _this_-" he fingered a rose petal. "-in their nose, I will never know."

"Because _this,_" she pointed to the two candles that stood on both sides of the table, "and _this,_" she picked up a rose, "spell 'romance'. Now don't be a spoiler and choose your meal."

Taking the menu from her hand, he flipped through it and sighed. Not a particularly picky man- he had no time and was mostly not in the position to be one- he had little interest in any kind of food. Not that he did not eat, he did, but anything that was put on his plate. Even when he visited the Three Broomsticks, he ordered the same chips and Firewhiskey on rock every time. He highly doubted Hermione would appreciate having chips for dinner.

Putting down the menu, he said, "It'd be better for you to pick our food."

Hermione looked at him, then shrugged. She gestured slightly, and a waitress came over.

"How may I help you, miss?"

"We'd like an Italian veggie salad- light on the dressing, please- and two lobster soup, and a seafood pasta, a mixed-mushroom lasagna, baked oysters, and- lemme see- blueberry cheesecake, two slices."

"Veggie salad, two lobster soup, seafood pasta, mushroom lasagna, two slices of our Blueberry Delight."

"And baked oysters."

"And baked oysters. Got it. Can I get you something to drink?"

"A bottle of red wine will do-"

"What?" Severus sat up suddenly and interrupted. He was at a lost in the last minute, but the words 'red wine' seemed like a beam of light that penetrated the mist and brought him back on track. Hermione looked at him with a question in her eye.

"Get the girl a glass of pumpkin juice."

"Pumpkin juice? You're kidding, Professor!" She half-jumped in her chair.

"I can get you milk."

"I am so not having pumpkin juice. Butterbeer, at least?"

"Oh?" His voice reminded Hermione that he was still the meanest teacher in school. "But I insist. Get her a glass of pumpkin juice- or, make that orange. Orange juice."

"A glass of orange juice. And you, sir?"

He shot the fuming girl a glance, and grinned evilly. "Firewhiskey on rock, please."

----------

The flames flickered gently to the music, as if they were dancing, and cast shadows on both their faces. Severus noted that Hermione's auburn hair looked almost golden in this light, and decided that he liked it.

"Is there something on my hair?" She asked, putting down her fork.

"No. Just that- it feels so strange to see your hair actually up and tidy, not some untamable mess."

"It took Lavender hours, drove her crazy," she said, taking a sip of orange juice. "So how do you find the food?"

He put down his fork and cleaned his mouth with the napkin gracefully. "It's above average, I guess. Who am I to judge? After what I had for the last month, any food _edible_ tastes heavenly to me."

"You miss my cooking," Hermione grinned. "Admit it, Professor."

"I miss your cooking as much as I miss the Dark Lord's underpants," Severus folded his arms and sat back.

Hermione choked on her juice and coughed.

"That's so lady of you."

"And you're no doubt the exemplary gentleman," she gasped. "He has underpants? How did you find out?"

"Miss Granger, I'd really rather not discuss the Dark Lord's choice of lingerie on our date. Or anytime else, for that matter."

"Are you a hundred percent sure he has underpants?"

He chose not to dignify the question with an answer, and raised his goblet to his lips.

"I've always imagined him to wear thongs or something."

It was his turn to choke on his drink. Hermione smiled triumphantly at the gagging Potions Master.

"I think it's getting rather late. Shall we go?"

----------

The couple exited the cozy restaurant and breathed in the cold crisp air. Severus bended down and buttoned up Hermione's coat. She looked down at his slender fingers and felt a pang went up her chest.

"You should have brought a scarf," muttered Severus, straightening up. "That trachea of yours-"

But Hermione was not paying attention. She walked a couple of steps and twirled to face Severus.

"I think I will race you to Hogwarts," with that she ran off. He stared at her back for a second before her words sank in.

"Come back here, you stupid Griffindor!"

Her giggles floated into his ears, and he began to run in great big steps. Not glide. Not stride. _Run_. Merlin knows how long it had been since he last ran. He caught her with relative ease, but then, he had legs much longer than hers. With a mighty tug, he pulled her into his arms. She did not struggle, but leaned against him, gasping for air.

"What in the bloody hell did you do that for?" He demanded angrily.

She looked up, hands clutching his robe tightly. A giggle escaped her lips. "That was fun!"

"You could so bloody well have an asthma attack!"

"Oh, don't be angry," she blinked innocently at him, then breathed a cloud of mist in his face. "Besides, how can I do this if I don't run?"

He glared into her hazel pupils, and little by little softened. Shaking his head at her sudden childishness, he pushed her head back into his chest. She closed her eyes. The pair stood in silence embrace for a long while.

Finally, Hermione looked up again.

"As comfortable as it was to stand here and listen to your heartbeat, I really think we should return to the school."

"I suppose you're right," he sighed.

They started toward Hogwarts, slowly, not wanting the enchanting night to end. However, as much as they stalled, the magnificent castle eventually came into view.

"So, that's it," Severus said in front of the gate.

"Yeah," whispered Hermione.

Their eyes locked. He gently slipped his arms around her waist.

"I hope it snow soon," she said, glancing up at the sky.

"Wish granted," he moaned, and picked the first piece of snowflake out of her hair.

"Don't sulk," she smiled. Snow had started to fall. "Don't you think snow is the prettiest thing in the world?"

"No," he answered pointedly, looking at her. She blushed. "It causes the dungeons to be unbearably dank and cold. And it cuts this night short. We'd better get in."

She nodded and let him escort her back to the Griffindor dormitory. When they were there, Severus said,

"So, that's it. The final 'that's it'."

"Thank you, I- I've enjoyed tonight."

"I am glad," he said, then glowering at the peeping Fat Lady, whispered, "have I ever told you how much I dislike this portrait?"

She eyed him disapprovingly, but the smile on her lips betrayed her. She planted a kiss on his cheek and blushed.

"Goodnight, Professor."

Staring at her disappearing back through the entrance, he changed his mind. He liked her a lot.

----------

A/N: I won't be updating so soon, but I promise I won't let this die. I hope you all enjoy the last bit, hehe. Now be a nice girl (or boy) and REVIEW! Anonymous reviewers, leave your email address if you want to be on the mailing list.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: As much as I would love to, I don't own the HP universe.

A/N: I know it has been a long time since I last updated. The reasons behind my inactivity has been explained in the emails and my weblog. Sorry for being late, but I am finally here with my muses again. Yesterday (the 22nd) was my birthday. I am 19 now, how old does that sound? Anyways, I hope this will be a new beginning of a fruitful year for me. On with the replies and the story!

**EnsignAbby: **How true is that statement! When I started updating this, I went back to check the storyline, and I was like, "Whoa, this needs _major _rewriting!" English is not my first language, and I am not very good at grammar. I like to believe that I am improving, and as writing is a recursive process, I will rewrite the earlier chapters later.

**Real-fan05: **Now it's been more than a year since I started this, and I am continuing because there are people out there like you, who love this story. Thanks for the support and keep liking the fic!

**nats8784:** I agree, they definitely deserved some happy time!

**Noriko M. Chijinu:** Another update! I know it has been a long time, but please don't kill me!

**Shin Tae: **I never imagined that _I _would come this far, but hey, here I am. There are more fluffy moments in this chapter, hope ya like it!

**SaintEm0:** I know that now, thanks for telling me anyway. Am never very good at net-speak.

**Procyon Marie: **Oh yes, someone asks the right question. Ron. There will be some development regarding him in this chapter. Enjoy!

----------

Hermione stirred deeper into the warm covers, sighing contentedly. Their first date had been perfect, and she was savoring the night in her dreams. It was like living every moment of it again. In her dream, she could see the white table cloth sparkled under the swaying candle lights, the roses almost too romantic to be held by a mediocre vase. The waitress came and put down their dishes with a gentle 'clank'. She looked over the table and saw Severus, her perfect knight, raised his goblet of red wine.

"Cheers," Severus said with a dream-like glow on his face, and downed the content of his glass.

She smiled back and raised her goblet, and was about to do the same when-

"Miss Granger!" The curtains around her bed was pulled apart most unceremoniously, and a familiar voice whispered.

"Hmmm?" was her intelligent reply. She turned her back to the source of disturbance.

"Miss Granger, wake up," the voice prompted urgently and Hermione felt someone grabbed her shoulders and shook her. She turned back and lifted one reluctant eyelid.

In the dim light of the chamber Hermione could make out a tall silhouette dressed in black, which was not making things easier for her. The man was now hunching over her, trying to wake her up with the conventional method. Squinting, she decided that she was still in a dream, because the man she saw was-

"Professor?" She said in a voice that could be considered as happy if she wasn't yawning through it. "You miss me already?"

"This is a serious matter," he started to pull her up. "And you must come with me at once."

She sat up blearily, and eyed the mattress with desire, apparently torn between the man of her dreams and the inviting bed. Turning back to Severus, she reached out to touch his face and said, "you look so real."

He encircled her tiny palm with his big one, and sighed wearily. "If you won't come voluntarily, I might be inclined to use _Mobilicorpus _on you, Miss Granger, so if you may please get up now and make this easier for both of us..."

The threat seemed to work. Although it was unlikely that students would be hanging about in the hallways at this ungodly hour, Hermione was not going to take the risk of being seen dragged in mid-air by the Potions Master. Grumpily, she slid out of her comfortable four-poster and into her slippers. Hugging herself with both her arms, she jumped around in an attempt to warm herself up.

"Okay, I am ready to go," she announced, but winced when she saw the murderous look on Severus' face.

"_Accio _scarf, _accio _coat," he said in a steely voice, and two random pieces of clothing flew out of her trunk. Wrapping her tightly in them, he ran a hand in her unruly mess of hair, trying to tame it a bit. "_Now_ you're ready to go."

She curved her lips into a furtive grin, and slipped her arm into his.

----------

What little mirth she was feeling vanished as soon as she stepped into Dumbledore's office. The Headmaster's face was grim, and there was a fire replacing the twinkle in his eyes. Nevertheless, he smiled a little when he saw the two coming in arm in arm.

"Ah, Miss Granger," he acknowledged with a wave of hand. "Have a seat."

Hermione sat down apprehensively in one of the big armchairs in front of the Headmaster's desk. Severus remained standing, but placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"Should I vacate the room, Albus?"

The old wizard turned and looked at Hermione, clearly allowing her to decide. She looked up into Severus' eyes, then turned back to Dumbledore.

"I'd prefer Professor Snape to be with us."

"Very well," replied Dumbledore, motioning Severus to take a seat too. Then, leaning forward, he said, "I've some important news to tell you, Miss Granger."

She suppressed the urge to roll her eye. _Well, I would hope so if you are pulling me out of the bed at this hour. _Instead, she merely nodded.

"Arthur Weasley was being attacked an hour ago. In the Ministry of Magic. He was bitten by a giant snake- which was possessed by the Dark Lord himself at that moment, apparently."

She blanched. "Mr. Weasley? But- but- what was he doing in the Ministry at this hour?"

"He was on a Order's mission," replied Dumbledore. Shadows cast by the flickering fire danced on his purple and gold gown, and he looked even glummer.

"What- why-" her mind still struggled to take in the piece of information that Mr. Weasley was in peril; finally, she settled on asking, "how did you know?"

Dumbledore told her how Harry had seen the attack in his head, and how the Weasley children had been transported home just before she came in.

Hermione stood up quickly. "I should be going as well!" Her heart wrenched at the thought of what her friends were going through. Knowing Harry, he would be besieged by guilt now, and Ginny would just sit there, silent and filled with fear. She wanted to be there, to share her shoulder for a tired friend, to place a supportive arm around Harry, to listen.

"Miss Granger," the wise wizard raised a calming hand. Hermione sat down. "You must not leave the school until the day after tomorrow, when the term ends."

"But-"

"Umbridge is watching," Severus interrupted. It was the first time that he spoke up during the whole meeting. "She has to be furious that Potter and the Weasleys disappeared under her eye. There will be no more student leaving the grounds in these two days."

Hermione fell silent. What he said was reasonable, and she knew that she really would not be of much help now. Looking into the Headmaster's eyes, she nodded and said courteously, "thank you for telling me such important news. I will be packing."

"Good," Dumbledore said, and watched pensively as the two exited his office.

----------

Slowly, Severus walked Hermione back to her dormitory. On the way, a heavy silence fell between them, and the only sound was their footsteps echoing in the empty hallways. It had stopped snowing, and the snow gleamed outside, showering their way in a majestic silver light. The air was freezing. Hermione was glad that Severus was taking her hand in his warm one. Eventually, they arrived the Griffindor Tower. As if reading each other's mind, they stopped together a few feet before reaching the Fat Lady's portrait.

She turned to face him. "Guess I am not going skiing, after all."

"No, I guess not."

"How did you come up to my room just now?"

"Albus gave me the incarnation to disable that horrid stairs of yours temporarily. It was a slight emergency, you know."

She looked at him one last time, and turned to leave. He hesitated for a nanosecond, then grabbed her shoulder.

"Professor?" Her back was still facing him.

He could feel the shaking under his palm. "There is something you wanted to tell me."

"I have no-"

"Don't try to hide from me," he said, frowning. He might have been away from this romance business for a while, but he could still tell if his girl was holding something behind her back. And his Legilimency skills helped a bit, too.

She twirled once again and looked into his black orbs. Severus found himself clutching her shoulders with both his hands and looking at a very pale face. Her lips trembled, and there was fear in her voice.

"It is nothing, nothing to worry about, I mean," Hermione tried with all her might to steady her voice and not to babble, "well- I, oh, it is really silly of me. You won't be interested."

"Try me," he drawled, scrutinizing her face for a clue.

"I- I am just- afraid," she admitted, looking down. She felt really stupid. It was not an irrational fear, but certainly a foreign emotion to a spy like him. The word 'war' had never seemed so real to her. People were getting hurt, people would die. It was no longer a game of bravery and cleverness, but a reality of ruthlessness and bloodshed. She shuddered, and suddenly understood what Mrs. Weasley must have felt when she saw the Boggart turning into bodies of her loved ones.

"Afraid?"

"Mr. Weasley worked for the Order, and he was bitten in the process," she said, still not lifting up. She could feel the rims of her eyes getting hot.

"And?" He scowled at the top of her bushy hair. Using his left hand, he tipped her head up tenderly, and when he saw her face, he was startled by the emotions on it.

"And I don't want you to get hurt," whispered Hermione, so soft that it almost got lost in the wind, and blinked, holding back a tear.

He was speechless. Holding her closer to him, he felt a long forgotten sensation welled up in his chest, and asked the heaven silently what good had he done to merit such a stunning soul.

----------

The next day went by as a blur. Everyone was so busy with packing and Christmas shopping that few queried about the whereabouts of Harry and the Weasleys. Hermione avoided places like the Great Hall and the Common Room, mostly keeping to herself, packing and organizing her thoughts.

But there were always things that could not be evaded.

"Come in," she called, stuffing her last book into a brimful suitcase. Lavender stepped in cautiously.

"Is this a bad time?" She asked.

"No, I have just finished packing," the other girl replied, panting slightly as she strapped the suitcase shut.

"What are your plans for the holiday?" Lavender asked, sitting down on Hermione's bed.

"Well, our family is going skiing."

"Skiing?" She glanced at her empty desk. "Why do you bring all those books if you're going skiing?"

Hermione fidgeted uncomfortably under her friend's patent dissecting glare.

"Is there something that you aren't telling me, Hermy?" Lavender asked in a fake sweet voice.

"I am not-" she began defiantly.

"And where are Harry, Ginny and others?" Sighing wearily, she rubbed her temples. "You aren't telling me things anymore."

Reluctantly, Hermione filled her friend in about Mr. Weasley's injury without revealing too much about the Order. Lavender listened intently, and seemed to be satisfied with the explanation.

"That's why we need to learn proper Defense Against the Dark Arts," she murmured when Hermione finished her tale.

"Yep, and to think that you believed in all that crap about Harry in the beginning!"

"Well," Lavender blushed, obviously embarrassed by her initial lack of judgment. "I joined the D.A., didn't I?"

----------

Hermione woke with a start the next morning. Staring at the canopy, her mind was blank for a second before thoughts rushed back in. It was the end of the term, but unlike most students, she did not feel particularly happy. Anxious to go, yes, but only to find out how Mr. Weasley and her friends were . Jumping off her bed, she hurried into the bathroom to get ready.

At precisely two, she was standing on the pavement in front of the Three Broomsticks. From here she could see the Hogwarts Express steam rising into the grey sky. She and a couple of students who were not taking the train were standing in line, waiting for the Knight Bus. Someone had held out his wand hand a moment ago, and the bus should be here any minute. She pulled her thick fur coat tighter, taking refuge from the harsh wind in its warmth. She glanced at the sky- it looked like it would snow again soon.

Suddenly, the students in the line shifted uneasily and gaped in her direction. She was at the end of the line, and looked back at them bemusedly. Someone cleared his throat behind her. The students turned back to their own business. Belatedly, Hermione turned and saw her Potions Professor standing behind her.

She fought back a grin. "Good day, Professor," she whispered.

He kept a straight face and did not answer, but reached down and took her luggage.

"What have you in there? Coals for your friends?" He mumbled when he felt the weight of the suitcase. She opened her mouth to reply, but at that moment the Knight Bus arrived.

The bus skidded to a stop in front of the line of students. The door opened and a man in a purple uniform stuck his head out.

"Merry Christmas," he bowed to the passengers. When he looked up again, there was a lopsided grin on his pimpled face. "We've got a big bunch this year, don't we?"

The first student, a second-year, Hermione recognized, seemed to be at a loss of what to say to the eccentric man. It was evidently the first time he had seen the Knight Bus, and he was gawking at the triple-decker with awe.

"My name is Stan Shunpike, and I'll be your conductor. Unfortunately, we have quite a full bus today, and can only accommodate two more passengers-"

The students groaned hearing this.

"Stupid boy!" Hermione heard a voice shouted from behind the conductor, and could only assume that it belonged to the driver. "Just let them in already! We're behind schedule!"

Stan did not seem to be bothered by the reprimand. Still grinning, he motioned the students to get aboard, putting their fares into a small bag he was carrying. "Just kiddin', Ernie! Can't a man joke a bit in the holiday season?"

Finally, it was Hermione's and Severus' turn. He pushed her onto the bus and thrust a couple of coins into the conductor's hand. "Private compartment."

Apparently, Stan did not know Severus, and was not a bit put out by the cold demeanor of the man. Broadening his smile, he gestured the stairs spiraling up to the upper decks and said, "sure. Which deck would you prefer, sir?"

"Third," and as an after-thought, he gave Stan two more Sickles. "And hot chocolate."

With that, he pushed Hermione furtively and the two disappeared up the stairs, as some very perplexed students watched after them.

----------

Hermione sighed in content with the cup of steaming chocolate in her hand. They were sitting comfortably- or, as close as a Knight Bus ride could come to 'comfortable'- at the rear of the top deck. Up here the bumpiness was reduced, if only by a bit. A sort of barrier appeared when they sat down, separating them from the rest of the passengers. Always the secretive spy, Severus was certainly a man who preferred privacy. Not to mention the terror it would bring to the other students if they saw their Griffindor star-pupil snuggling with their heartless, bat-of-a-man Potions Master.

Severus smirked at the last thought. _Not a bad picture, not at all. _Catching his expression, Hermione shot him a funny look.

"A Sickle for your thought," she said finally, sipping the last of her chocolate and putting down the mug.

"Are you cold?" He asked innocently.

"No," she frowned, thinking that he worried too much. "I just had a cup of lip-scalding beverage. Why?"

"Just wondering," he replied silkily. "If you would want to sit closer."

She blushed and found a sudden interest in the misty window as Severus pulled her into his arms. His chest seemed like an eternal furnace, and she cuddled nearer to the source of warmth unconsciously. He chuckled softly above. The pleasant sound vibrated in his ribcage. Her face got even redder, but she stayed where she was. A twinge of emotion swelled in her heart as she realized what fate had brought the two of them into. If anyone told her four months ago that she would be engaged in any kind of relationship with her Potions Professor, she could laugh and give that person a good smack up the head. The past few months had been the most emotionally-turbulent period of her life, and for so many times she feared that she was to fail and break her heart. But here she was, with a man twenty years her senior, on the Knight bus and perfectly happy.

As for Severus, he did not reflect much about the past, and dared not to think much about what laid ahead. To him, to embrace someone he cared in tranquility was one of the few pleasurable moments that life gave him, one of the few reasons for him to carry on. He tried not to contemplate, but merely accept, what- or rather, who- life had designed for him. And even though it was far from flawless- he smiled discreetly at the top of her head- he enjoyed the surprise.

"What did your parents say about your sudden alteration to their plans?" He asked casually.

"Oh. I mailed them yesterday and they replied this morning," she replied. "They're a bit disappointed. They have planned on this skiing trip for some time."

"You? Skiing?" His lips twitched as he attempted to hide a smirk.

"I can ski!" She said indignantly, planting a harmless fist onto his chest. Couldn't hold it any longer, Severus' face broke into a ear-to-ear grin.

"If I am informed correctly, Miss Granger, you are afraid of height."

"Well, there are tall hills and there are not-so-tall hills."

"There are slopes and there is the flat ground," he answered, grinning ever more broadly. "What do you do, tread around the snow in your skis and call yourself skiing?" He laughed at the mental image.

She huffed and turned her head away angrily. Severus was only further amused by this. The girl, being one of the most argumentative students he had ever met in his teaching career, was surprisingly easy to enrage. Her fiery temper was typical of a Griffindor's. She was always mad when she could not think of a good comeback, and, judging from her pout, he knew that his guess was at least partly true.

"I am sorry, Miss Granger, I should not have made fun of you,"_ and your inability to properly ski,_ he apologized with Slytherin sincerity- which was none whatsoever.

Apparently, Hermione detected this as well and was defiantly staring the other way. Severus looked at her face and her childish behavior, and felt a part inside him softened.

"Okay, I apologize," he sighed. "I will teach you how to ski."

She turned back at him and examined his face through narrowed slits. "You, teach me to ski?"

He nodded. "Sometime later."

She regarded him for a second more, then beamed so quickly that Severus wondered what he had gotten himself into.

----------

"Grimmauld Place," Stan announced as Severus got off the bus with the suitcase. Giving his hand to Hermione, he helped her down and the couple stood on the pavement of a shabby neighborhood as the Knight Bus disappeared behind them in a purple blur.

It had started snowing again, and the sky was bluish grey because the winter sun had long gone. Hermione shivered in the evening air.

"Do you remember the address?" Severus asked behind her.

Nodding, she started to walk down the pavement. He followed a few steps behind. They were dropped off at the end of the block, and she counted silently to herself: _nineteen, eighteen, seventeen... _not bothering to wait up, she quickened her pace.

"Miss Granger," he called in alarm. _The girl seemed to have a queer habit of running in the cold, _he remembered with dismay the incident two nights ago. She had started to sprint with no apparent reason and beckoned him to catch her."Miss Granger!" He called again but Hermione paid no heed to him whatsoever. _Oh that mind of hers,_ he sighed in defeat. He could never figure out what was going on in there.

Hermione, meanwhile, was not ignoring him on purpose. There were just something more urgent tugging her forward. Without realizing it, she broke into a jog. _Fourteen, thirteen..._

"Miss- Oh damnit!" Severus swore as the strap on the suitcase chose to snap at the precise moment that he decided to catch her in two big strides. The case burst open, spilling its contents across the thickening layer of snow.

Facing number eleven and thirteen of Grimmauld Place, Hermione knew this was the place. Slowly, she recalled the address on the note she read when she first came. A door materialized as soon as the words _number twelve _went past her mind, then the walls and the windows. Looming before her was the great gloomy-looking headquarters of the Order of Phoenix. She walked up and tapped tentatively on the door.

The door was pulled open almost immediately, as if the people inside were expecting somebody. She took a startled step back, and looked into the freckled face of Ron Weasley.

"Ron!" She refrained from hugging him, remembering their row.

Ron, too, seemed a bit baffled by her presence. "It's you," he said, more surprised than malicious.

"How-"

"What-" They started together. She shrugged and let him continue. "-are you doing here?"

"I planned to go skiing with my parents, but-"

Ron cut her off with a laugh. It was a genuine laugh that she had not heard for a long time.

"Skiing?"

"That's a sport in which people step on narrow planks and use poles to glide down snowy slopes."

"I know what skiing is," Ron laughed harder. "I just can't picture you doing it."

"Ron!" She shouted, feigning annoyance. Her face grew pink in embarrassment and the cold. Then, unable to control herself, she laughed too.

Their brief moment of civility was broken when Severus arrived on the doorstep. Ron glared at him with barely concealable hatred.

"You," he muttered darkly as his Potions Professor put down the huge suitcase.

"Good day to you too, Mr. Weasley," Severus greeted dryly, placing a possessive hand on Hermione's shoulder. He had not quite forgotten, let alone forgiven, how the red-haired boy kissed her that night.

Hermione looked uncomfortably from Severus to Ron. Sending daggers to each other, the two males looked ready to pull out their wands and hex the other to the next dimension. Clearing her throat, she picked up her suitcase and said, "I will, er, go and check on Harry."

Severus squeezed her shoulder slightly. "I will drop by in the foreseeable future, Miss Granger."

She nodded and went into the house. Staring at her back for a moment, Severus, too, swept away with his cloak billowing behind him. Ron watched his retreating form wearily before turning and closing the door.

----------

Hermione was happy to learn that Mr. Weasley was fine. Harry was not- apparently the idea that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named possessed him somehow got into his head. Facing his anger, she was not only helpless, but she could feel her patience dwindling. She was also very tired from her long trip. Fortunately, there was Ginny. Hermione would be eternally grateful for the sweet girl and her amazing ability to calm Harry down. Settling herself comfortably on the coach and pulling herself from the conversation, she found herself wondering about what was for dinner.

"Hermione," a voice shook her out of her reverie.

"Yeah, Harry," she replied automatically and sat up straighter, her face starting to color from being caught daydreaming. Her blush deepened when she saw who was addressing her. When she was in the cloud talking with Cupid, Harry and Ginny had exited the room.

"They have gone to help Mom with supper," Ron frowned and answered her unasked question.

Nodding numbly, Hermione found herself at a lost of words. She had not spoken to him for so long. What was there left to say between them?

"So..." he seemed as unsure as she was.

"I am sorry for what happened to your Dad, Ron," she said genuinely.

"Oh, thank you,'' he managed, then fell silent.

Looking at the boy's shifting eyes, she felt a sudden longing for his friendship. She wanted to talk to him like she did before. Grabbing his hand, she spoke seriously, "Ron, listen to me."

He looked taken aback, but did not pull his hand out of her grasp.

"I know you don't hate me, so don't pretend so," she said. "You are angry because I like Professor Snape, you feel like I have betrayed you. But I love you, Ron, as a brother and a friend. And when you search inside yourself, you will find that you feel the same."

Ron opened his mouth to speak, but Hermione silenced him with a hand.

"If you truly love me, the way you believe you do, you'll never have said those things about me," she said sadly, recalling all the names he had called behind her back and how it had hurt.

He thought quietly for a minute, before agreeing with a nod half-reluctantly, half-shamefully. "I am sorry," he whispered.

"Apology accepted," she said, smiling a little. Deep in her heart, she knew that she could not forgive him immediately, but the wounds would heal in time.

He returned her smile uncertainly. "Snape likes you back, doesn't he?"

"Well, yeah, I guess," she replied cautiously. _I hope, _she added silently. After all, the man had been hugging her for sometime now.

"I will not stop hating him, Hermione," he said, looking back at her finally. "But for you-"

"For Harry," she interrupted quickly. "He needs us, _both _of us. Can't you see, Ron? At such times we really can't afford to detest one another."

"For Harry, then."

----------

Severus did not like Christmas. He did not hate it, unlike what some people think, but he did not like it particularly, either. Or rather, he just could not bring himself to excite at the idea of any festival.

"So don't take it personally," he sneered at the Santa Claus statue erected every December near the Great Hall. Saint Nicolas was one of the few wizards that was recognized, and come to be loved by, the Muggles. The statue did not reply, but Severus could swear that there was a glint in his eyes. The resemblance between Saint Nicolas and Dumbledore was one of the numerous reasons that he did not like the holiday season. And there was this little fact that, his family had never celebrated any festival when he was young.

However, this year was different. His mood this year was markedly better than those before, due to one single, simple reason: Hermione Granger. Not that he realized this fully- even if he did he would not admit it- but he was still grateful that she provided him the thing that he had been looking for years: a flawless excuse to escape from the Headmaster's dreadful scheme of the Christmas feast! No more embarrassing party hats, Christmas crackers and mistletoes! _Yes! _He would almost twirl and do a bad swing, if not for a very amused Dumbledore appeared behind him suddenly.

"Ahem," the old sage cleared his throat. The twinkle in his eyes seemed to be charged by the Christmas spirit and Severus felt his irises hurt at the sight of it. "Merry Christmas, Severus."

"Albus," the younger wizard greeted neutrally.

"Have you opened your gift yet?"

"Candy canes that could last a lifetime," he replied wryly. "Thank you."

If that was even possible, Dumbledore beamed broader at him.

Hardly able to take his cheeriness, Severus started, "Oh, and Albus? I won't be at the feast tonight."

"You won't?" The Headmaster's smile dimmed imperceptibly and his face was replaced by a puzzled expression. "But why?"

_Now **that's **a more satisfying Christmas gift, _thought Severus. It was not everyday that you could catch Albus Dumbledore off guard. "Because," he announced, "I am meeting Miss Granger tonight."

"Ah, of course."

Smirking to himself, Hogwart's resident Potion Master strode into the Great Hall. The dinner he could avoid, but there was no way he could get away from the lunch.

----------

She was too quiet tonight, concluded Severus.

He had picked her up from Number 12, Grimmauld Place at precisely seven, taken her to a nice restaurant and let her order the food. He racked his head, trying to think of something that he had done wrong.

Holding her hand, he led her into a park. They were at a sub-urban part of London, and the park was deserted save for a few late birds. Anyhow, their robes were well-hidden under their long coats. The only sound was their feet treading on the soft snow. Without exchanging a word, the couple arrived at a magnificent fountain and sat down.

The fountain was turned off, and a thin layer of ice had been formed on the surface of the pool. Hermione fixed her eyes on the glimmering snow under the moonlight, deep in thought.

Sighing, Severus opened his mouth. "Miss Granger?"

"Hmmm?"

"Something's on your mind." A statement.

She breathed and caused a puff of mist to escape her lips, but did not answer.

Tightening his grip but not too hard that he might hurt her, he said, "I don't understand. You would tell me everything, every single tiny detail about yourself in the past, but you won't now?"

She smiled a little remembering their many nights of detentions. "I must have bothered the life out of you," she said softly.

He looked at her expectantly, with his patent relentless glare.

"Do you know what had happened to Neville's parents?" It was a silly question. Of course he knew.

Sighing for the second time of the night, he said, "the Longbottoms were very prominent Aurors of their time."

"How could they do this?" Her voice trembled, whether from anger, fear or the cold, he could not determine. Maybe it was a mix of all.

"Just as the sun and the moon are counterparts, so will evil exist as long as goodness stands," he started carefully, not quite sure himself how to explain to Hermione, who in his eyes was still an innocent sixteen-year-old.

She just pursed her lips and stared ahead.

"And when a person becomes a Death-Eater," his voice was lowered into a whisper, "he loses his self. Nothing matters anymore, but the drug of wickedness intoxicates him, gives him illusions of glory, and numbs his conscience."

"Have you ever..." her question hung.

"I will not lie to you, Miss Granger," he closed his eyes wearily, "but yes, much pain and anguish has been brought about by these hands." He opened his eyes and released her hand. Reflexively, he brought his right palm to his left arm. Hermione sat and stared at him attentively.

"I never rape. The Dark Lord knows why I joined him, family factor aside, and he never pushes me on this. As far as he concerns, I have lost interest in women. I have not tortured or murdered humans unless I needed to put up a show. However," he paused and looked at his hands. "I have produced enough potions to harm in the past, and for this, I should be damned forever."

"That's not true," she was tearful.

"But a sinner can hope to release himself of guilt somehow, by knowing his erred ways and vowing to sacrifice himself for the good cause," Severus continued as if he hadn't heard her. He looked straight into her eyes, and there was an intense heat in his that wasn't there before. "And he hopes to find solace in those who care about him."

Tracing her smooth cheek with a finger and wiping her tears along the way, he said with tingling emotions, "I like you- don't act so surprised- the way you talk, the way you chortle, the way you radiate life. You offer me small moments of joy. But I- I sucked it all away from you. That's not what I intended to do," his eyes softened. "I want you to smile again, babble again. I want you to be happy."

He looked down, deep into her chocolate irises. Then he bent down and kissed her.

It was a close-lipped, contact kiss, albeit a very lingering one at that. Severus felt her cold lips quivering against his, and left her with a sense of regret. The moon showered them in a hazy white light, making her face surreally pale. Nevertheless, as she opened her eyes slowly, two patches of pink rose on her cheeks.

Hermione could not describe what she had felt, nor did she know what to say. "That's... my first kiss," she blurted the first thing that came to her mind, and her blush deepened.

He did not look surprised. Not taking his eyes off her, he reached into his pocket and took out a small velvet box.

"Merry Christmas," the phrase was foreign on his tongue. He opened the box, which revealed a plain, diamond-shaped ruby. The pendant was hanging to a gold necklace.

"Emergency Portkey," she said, enticed by the simple beauty of the jewel.

"_And_ a necklace," Severus replied, hoping for once that she could be a plain girl rather than the brilliant witch that she was. He leaned closer and put it on her.

Hermione shivered as his hand brushed the back of her neck. The necklace felt cold to her skin, and the ruby sparkled a bit under the moonlight. She touched it thoughtfully.

He sat back and admired the gift he picked specially for her, and commented, "I would have chosen an emerald, but then, this one feels right."

"Oh, that reminds me," she said, taking something out of her coat's pocket. Then, she took out her wand and enlarged it to its normal size. He peered curiously as the object grew on her palms. When the gift was fully grown, she handed it to him shyly.

"What is this?" He fumbled to unfold the long piece of cloth. The fabric was so soft that it felt like it would melt under his touch.

"I knit it myself," she answered timidly, crossing her fingers behind her back.

"Is this supposed to be... a scarf?" Cried Severus incredulously. The prolonged piece of cloth was almost as long as himself. He goggled at the silver scarf gleaming in his hands. Some parts of it were obviously knitted wrong, and some bore the marks of amendments. She had to be the worst knitter in the Wizarding World.

"Er, yes?" She replied, widening her eyes expectantly at him.

"If that's so, this has to be the longest, most hideous-" as he ranted, he wrapped the silver scarf tightly around his neck, circling it twice before it would not brush his boots. "-don't know why you bother to knit-"

Hermione replaced the crestfallen expression on her face with a enormous smile when she saw Severus putting on the scarf. She could see that he was rather uncomfortable that he was suddenly on the receiving end of such warm and loving affection. She giggled and threw her arms around his neck, now snug in a soft silver scarf, and spoke into his ears:

"Merry Christmas to you too, Professor."

----------

A/N: I know this chapter is not as long as some previous ones, but my chapters end where they need to end. As **EnsignAbby** pointed out in her review, I really need to work on my grammar. I hope you guys see a growth in my style and language since the first chapter. I will rewrite and reformat the whole story later. In the meantime, you guys should be a good girl and REVIEW. All anonymous reviewers who wish to be on the mailing list, please leave your e-mail address. Also, please visit my website, for the latest news on my updates. Mahalo!


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. Honest.

A/N: Okie... seriously, I've outdone myself. The longest chapter yet. 16 pages! Phew!

**Lily of the Shadow: **Thanks!

**Real-fan05: **I love describing the picture I see in my mind. Guess that's what contributes to my 'good imagery.' Thanks!

**SaintEmo: **Thanks! I try to proofread my stories, but sometimes little mistakes still slip through. I am just glad there aren't too many!

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**ShinHee Tae: **You're pretty observant. That's right, their relationship is fragile at the moment, and there will be trials waiting for them, as you'll read in this chapter...

**Ezmerelda: **Hee hee. I love it when boys say one thing and do the other. They're so cute that way. Glad you like the story!

**MoonlightSerenade:** Thanks! I worry that my chapters are getting too long... hmmm. About the beta- it would be nice if you could proofread the previous chapters of this story. There are tons of mistakes as this is my first fic, and I simply don't have the time to do it myself. Please email me or leave a review if you can. Thank you so much!

**Neko Blah Blah: **Thanks. It would be nice if you could tell me specifically where to improve, and I hope you find this chapter more satisfying.

**SeverusSnape'sLove: **I do, and here is the update. Hope you like it.

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**Magicalwonder: **Thanks! More blending in this chapter. Hope you like it.

**Lady Urquentha: **SS/HG, definitely, but AD/MM... hmmm, never can be too sure about our dear Headmaster, can we? -twinkle twinkle-

**momsangel: **I adore Hermione's lack of knitting skill. It just proves that she is not perfect and human. And yes, I laughed at her scarf, too.

**Lu Ling Qi: **Here's the latest update for you! Enjoy! Just a side note, are you by any chance Chinese (as I infer from your name)?

* * *

The holidays were pleasant for Hermione. For one thing, Ron was no longer scowling at her, and Harry seemed to be in a better mood. Grimmauld Place had never been merrier. She enjoyed playing chess and knitting hats in front of the fire, and when she wasn't doing either of those things, she would be found curling up on the coach reading, listening absentmindedly to the Weasley twins bicker.

But the most gratifying part was always at night, when Severus would dropped by, occasionally bringing her some treats and the latest news in the castle. Their meetings were always brief, but Hermione was content. For the first time in months, she was happy. More than happy, even. The ecstasy she was in often left her feeling surreal.

However, as the holidays waned and the beginning of the term approached, she could feel the distinct droop in spirit at number 12, Grimmauld Place. Not only were Sirius and Harry gloomy again, even Ginny, who was always bursting with energy and tales to tell, seemed unusually quiet. Severus, being more susceptible to darkness than ordinary people, was naturally not exempted from the pervasive mood. He had already been snappish for a whole week when the last day of the holidays came.

"Miss Granger." He nodded when Hermione came down from the stairs in the morning. Apparently he had just exited from the kitchen and was on his way out of the Headquarters. She looked down at her pajamas in embarrassment, then looked back at him.

"Good morning," she greeted, hoping her voice wasn't too bleary. "I am not expecting you to be here this early."

"That much is obvious," he replied, his voice dry and waking Hermione a little. She walked up to him, noticing the coldness of the floor and regretting not having put on her slippers.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"I thought you're a morning person?"

"Not when I just spent the night in a chilly kitchen instead of where I should be, my bed."

"Something's wrong?"

"Nothing you should worry yourself about."

She felt frustration bubbling inside. Standing as tall as she could, she looked into his eyes, demanding silently.

"Fine, if you can't keep your questions to yourself," he snapped, irritation showing on his face. She was taken aback. He had not shown his more disagreeable side since they 'got together.' He seemed to realize what he had said as well, and took a deep breath before continuing.

"The Headmaster has a theory of what the Dark Lord's up to. He sees it as appropriate for me to teach Potter Occlumency for the coming semester." His tone perceptibly mellower, he inhaled again, loosening the deep frown on his face slightly.

"Occlumency..." she trailed off, wanting to ask more but thought better than to incense him further at this moment.

_No wonder he was in a bad mood, _she thought, unconsciously pursing her lips. _He would have to spend a lot of much-valued time and energy on his least favorite student. _Occlumency was not an easy art to master, after all.

"I trust you to not disclose this to Potter, for I'll be the one to do it." He pulled a sneer. "I don't want to miss the look on his face."

Hermione stood on the corridor and watched, speechless, as Severus grabbed his cloak and swept out of the house.

* * *

If she had hoped that the situation would get better when school started, Hermione was bitterly disappointed. Harry's Occlumency lessons meant that they could not meet at night under the name of 'detention' anymore. 

_Not that he had expressed the wish to meet me outside class at other times._

Speaking about time, she herself did not have much to spare. Keeping ahead in her classes and at the same time fulfilling her prefect duties responsibly was not easy; adding a couple of DA practices and a moody Harry into the mix, she could barely afford to sleep. Most of the time, when she submerged totally into work, she would forget her troubles and misery. The realm of studies was where she knew the rules well, where she truly felt at home, where there was no muddle.

But every night, when she was curled up under her quilt, when she was minutes from sleep, she would allow the thoughts to come to her- or rather, she could no more control them- and she would wonder. Were the days before Christmas real? Had she really been in his arms? And the question that most frequently nagged her mind even during the day- _What is going to happen to us?_ Sadness would swept her into sleep, where sweet and bitter dreams recur and recur.

January and February came and went, and still they hadn't exchanged more than a couple of looks and greetings in the classrooms or corridors. She was at a loss of what to do, and carried on with her life absently. She had wanted to ask him about the mass breakout of Azkaban, or to tell him what she had done to get Harry an interview in The Quibbler. Sometimes she berated herself for growing dependent on him too quickly, sometimes she was angry at him for doing this to her, but most of the time she was just sad, and grew even more obsessed with her O.W.L. studying.

She ceased to talk about him with her friends, except maybe once or twice with Lavender and Ginny, and even then would not say more than a few curt sentences. Both Harry and Ron had their own troubles to deal with, and she knew better than to bother them with her petty love life, or the lack thereof. They simply assumed that she had lost interest in the greasy Potion Master, and were not hesitant to show that they were at least relieved, if not pleased.

March came as well, bringing with it warmer winds and newer drizzles, and she was glad to get rid of her thick and snug robes. However, every time she looked at the scarf on the back of her chair when she was leaving her room, she felt an acute pang of reminiscence remembering his constant pester for her to put it on.

_How is he now?_

She wanted to ask Harry, and was even jealous that he got to know what was on Severus' mind, but she always stopped herself seeing the shadows on the tired boy's face. The days rushed on, each one the same as the last, and still they hadn't talked, until the first Wednesday of April, two days after the Dumbledore's Army was busted and the Headmaster sacked.

She met him on her way to the library. Harry and Ron were having Divination with their new centaur professor, and she was free as Arithmancy was cancelled for the day.

"Miss Granger."

She turned to face him, her face carefully calm, though inside she was anything other than that. The mere fact that he was standing there in his usual teaching robe, and his insistence in calling her 'Miss Granger,' were enough to send her logic to the moon.

"Good morning," she greeted, getting a sense of déjà vu. The word 'professor' stayed on her tongue stubbornly- he could keep all the propriety as he liked, she sure wasn't going to deny that he was everything more than a teacher to her.

"Where are you heading, Miss Granger?"

"The library." She bit back a sarcastic reply.

"This early?"

"Yes, and if you don't mind-"

He threw the deserted corridor a quick glance, then turned back at her and lowered his voice. "I must congratulate you on the Protean Charm and the Betrayal Curse you placed on the coins you lot used in your little club."

She eyed him through narrowed slits. His had commented evenly, which was all the more suspicious.

"I never know you have mastered N.E.W.T. standard charms," he said, his tone still curiously free of bite. "Though I would have suggested a Bonding Contract, making them literally unable to leak information."

_Well, you are too busy to be there to suggest anything, _she thought irritably. "Well, it's got the job done."

"It's got Dumbledore dismissed."

"Are you blaming me?" She questioned dangerously.

"You could've got yourself expelled," he looked back at her with a scowl.

"Is it my fault that a toad of a woman is teaching us Defense Against the Dark Arts? Is it my fault that I want to learn to protect myself?"

"You could've come to me."

"Well, when the D.A. formed you weren't even in the picture," she replied coolly. "Besides, you seem to be awfully busy, aren't you?"

He sighed at this, and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "With the Headmaster gone and-"

"It's alright," she interrupted and immediately hoped that she hadn't.

"Look," he sighed again, weariness and resignation in his tone. "Come to my office tonight."

"Don't you have Occlumency lesson with Harry?"

Just then, students began to pour into the corridor. It seemed that classes were ending.

"You've earned yourself a detention, Miss Granger," he spat harshly. Hermione found herself receiving some sympathetic glances from the students, but she also noticed the glint in his pupils. "Eight o'clock at my office."

"Yes, sir," she replied, lowering her head as the Potion Master walked away, hiding the small grin on her face.

* * *

When she arrived the dungeons that evening, slightly earlier than the agreed time, she found the door to his office ajar. As curiosity took over, she pushed open the door and felt her heart stop. 

Standing by his desk was Severus, his face covered with sweat and inhumanly white. Both his hands were gripping the edge of the desk with such force that his knuckles had turned into a similar shade as his face. The desk was surprisingly clear- in fact, there was nothing on it but a pensieve, and this, as Hermione glanced around the room, was not as much a surprise as she had initially thought: everything that should be on the desk, parchments, inkbottles, quills, books, were on the floor. The shelves on the walls also looked emptier than usual, and she did not need to look to know where most of the missing jars were.

He seemed not to be aware of her presence. He was glowering intently at the pensieve, as if interrogating it for the mystery of the universe. She gingerly stepped into the threshold.

_Crack._

A piece of glass split beneath her heels, and the sound snapped Severus out of his reverie. His eyes were on her immediately, and they were so malicious that she took a step back on instinct. He veiled the darkness from her in a flash, but the look was printed in her mind.

"W- what's wrong?" She asked shakily, then added, "Sir?"

"Nothing, nothing!" He snarled, and began to circle the desk with his hands behind his back.

"If that's true, you wouldn't be-" she nearly bit her tongue as the word 'tantrum' flew across her mind. "-lashing out." Seeing the look on his face, she added quietly, "Do you want some tea?"

"Tea? I do not need tea." With a swift wave of his wand a bottle flew into his outstretching hand. He uncorked the bottle and downed half of its content in one gulp.

"Don't drink." She frowned remembering what happened last time he was drunk.

He slammed the bottle onto the desk with such force that it was a miracle that the glassware did not break. "Telling me what to do, are you?"

"Please don't be mad," she said steadily. "I am just trying to help."

"And how do you intend to do that, may I inquire, Miss Granger?"

"Why don't you start by telling me what's wrong?"

"What's wrong... I'll tell you what's wrong," he barked with sudden ferocity, picked up the pensieve and thrust it into her. "Look at it, look! This is what's wrong. You Griffindors just have to ask, right? Just can't keep your nose out of others' business, just can't get the idea of _privacy_ into your heads."

"I have no wish to see your thoughts, sir!" She slammed the pensieve onto the desk the way he slammed the bottle moments ago, with such force that the silvery liquid jumped and splashed in the shallow dish.

"Your _best friend,_" There was so much hatred in those words that Hermione flinched. "Did not find it below him to do so, apparently."

"H-Harry?"

"Yes, Harry Potter, the savior of us all." He sneered, picking up the pensieve again and offered it to her. "Don't you want to peep at them, too? My memories? _Which spanking his father gave twisted him into this sadistic bastard now?_ Aren't your Griffindor curiosity killing you, too?"

Hermione felt sick to her stomach. "No," she whispered.

"Are you sure?" He placed the pensieve a little closer to her.

"No... I mean, yes."

"But you get to see my memories," he pushed the little dish closer still.

"I said no!"

With a rough slap she tossed the pensieve out of his hand, and watched in horror as the magical device hit the mess on the floor with a noisy clank, its silvery contents spilling and disappearing as soon as they hit the ground.

"Am I to endure more Griffindor temperament?" He drawled, his voice deadly quiet.

She felt terrible. Normally she would be thrilled to know about his past, but today this gesture of love was distorted into something detestable in both their minds.

_Oh Harry, what have you done?_

_What have you seen?_

"Whatever Harry has d-"

"You've no idea..." he was whispering now. "What Potter did- both of them- unforgivable. Why do you think I need a pensieve?" He glared at her suddenly, his face contorted with fury.

Hermione opened her mouth, then closed it again. Not for the first time, she realized that she really did not understand this man.

"He'll not come near me anymore, Potter," he continued in a hiss, his hand reaching for what Hermione assumed to be his wand pocket. "Because, if he as much as _try, _I will kill him."

She blanched. "But, b-b-but, you don't-" she lowered her voice. "You did not stop your Occlumency lessons with Harry, did you?"

"I don't give a damn shit about Potter's mind," he replied nastily. "The Dark Lord can foul with it as much as he likes."

"But, Dumbledore said-"

"I don't _care _what the Headmaster say!" If anything, the mention of Dumbledore seemed to enrage him further. "It is his fault that I am placed in this predicament!"

Hermione had only once seen him lost control and became the irrational being that he was now, and that was two years ago. Her voice noticeably steelier, she said, "I am sure Dumbledore will appreciate being blamed by someone whom he clearly trusts enough to assign the job of teaching Harry Occlumency, and to have the worry of Voldemort racking through Harry's mind add to his already heavy burden, while he is being kicked out of Hogwarts, fleeing from the Ministry, and having to manage the Order's business."

"He _ordered _me to tutor the insufferably conceited boy."

"Did he order you to leave your pensieve unattended, too?"

"Only the dastardly Griffindors would go around poking their heads into others' pensieves, attended or not!"

"Only Slytherins would mind to have their sullied, obnoxious thoughts be revealed!"

They were openly shouting now, throwing insults of blind rage and jealousy and frustration, words that tore at their flesh, marking wounds that could not be healed later, and not caring.

"Harry will not learn Occlumency, and Voldemort-" She shuddered. "Voldemort will crawl in his brain and discover the Order's secrets."

"Potter himself doesn't seem to care very much about that!"

"And he'll know your secret too. He'll know you've lived the Slytherin's motto to the fullest, a sly _traitor_!"

"I am glad you think so highly about me, Miss Granger," his voice was poisonous. "Traitor, yes, yes, I am flattered. What else, Miss Granger? What else am I to you? A bastard of a professor?"

She burst into tears. "Apparently, that's the only part you are willing to play!"

"Don't you dare having an asthma attack," he said warningly at her ragged breathing.

"What if I do, _Master _Snape? Are you going to give me a detention?"

The title stung. He took a menacing step towards her, causing her to took one back in alarm. The candles in the dungeon flickered madly. Through her tears, she could see his scarcely controlled fury emanating off his tall stature.

"You don't understand," he hissed, pointing with one bony finger at the door. "You never will. Out! _Out!_"

She gathered herself as much as possible, and scurried out of the room. As the door slammed behind her, she heard a horrifying sound of crash, very, very much similar to the sound of shattering of her heart.

* * *

As soon as the door was slammed close and quivered on its hinges, the jars on the shelf nearest to him exploded at the same time, and the candles flickered dead. He slid slowly onto the floor, leaning against his desk. His left hand landed on some broken glass, but he didn't much care. The aloof part of his brain reminded him that he would have to replace his entire collection of fungi. 

He had not lost control of his magic for a long time. In fact, the last time he did something like this was probably twenty-odd years ago, when he was still a student. His life as a student was not remotely pleasant- as Potter tonight discovered.

Potter. He assaulted a student. Putting his face into his hands, he tried in vain to block out the haunting, jeering faces of Black and Potter, senior and junior alike. He had thought of himself as a controlled man, that surely it would take something more drastic to make him lose it, but that was not the case. He lost it tonight- no doubt about that- over something so small and insignificant, like a school boy. He could have composed himself, in dignified anger, and sneered at Potter, disillusioning him at long last. But no, he had to _throw a bloody jar _at the damn boy.

He rubbed his face harder, feeling the blood on his fingers smearing on his cheeks. _Go away, _he told the ghosts of his past. They did. Only the ghost of the present replaced them, until his mind was filled with nothing but her. Hermione Granger's face floated in front of him, and anger welled up in him until he shook.

_How could you?_

He demanded furiously at her. When he thought that she would understand and comfort him? When he had started to trust her? That trust, like everything else in his life, was snatched away from him so easily.

But gradually, even the anger subsided, and all that was left in his chest was- nothing. A hollowness that he had known before, an old friend that he never thought he'd meet again. It was even greater than the rage and shame he felt when he found Potter in his pensieve, because at least then he could name his feeling. Now the emptiness was so great that it swallowed him whole, or sucked everything out of him, leaving his skin alone. And this time, there was no one to blame- no older brother, no Potter. Just he himself. He had done everything wrong. He had ruined everything.

"_Accio _Firewhiskey," he muttered, not bothering to raise his wand. A bottle flew past him and smashed into the desk. He tried again, but it seemed that he had just wasted his last bottle. He slacked his muscles and sat in a slumped, drunken pose. Maybe it would numb him anyway, despite the lack of alcohol.

_Did I do anything wrong?_

He was never a man of introspection, and he understood why. His conscience spoke nauseatingly loud when he asked himself questions, accompanied with an equally appalling feeling of guilt.

"Shut up," he murmured, again and again in his dreams. They wouldn't leave him alone. Besides his usual nightmares of the past, new ones were added in tonight, his new, haunting present. But he could not dream of the future, because there could be no future.

Because everything, if there was ever _something_, certainly ended tonight.

* * *

Life went on, as normal as it possibly could. He did not see much of her, except perhaps in class, and he did not see much of Potter either, which was a definite improvement, in his opinion. Life also started to pick up pace, as he found more and more work facing him everyday- more essays to grade, more potions to brew, more things to cram into the fifth-years' heads, more orders from Dumbledore and, Merlin forbid, Umbridge- which was also a good thing, in some ways. For one, he needed not to think about meddlesome affairs such as bushy-haired Griffindors. 

Though sometimes, when the dungeon was so quiet that he could hear a dull ringing in his ears, he would put down his quill and indulge himself a moment to think about her, to miss her, to feel angry about her and sorry about himself. Why couldn't she see that he was not much happier about not able to spend more time with her as she was? Why couldn't she see that, with Umbridge breathing on his neck, he couldn't really be seen with her? Why couldn't she see that, with Dumbledore and the Dark Lord heaving orders on his back, sometimes he was just so weary and wanted to lean on her and close his eyes?

Why couldn't she see, he was a mere human, after all?

Usually when he asked the question, a voice in his mind would smirk and tell him he wasn't doing a very good job at being human-like, and he would return to work. Occasionally he would allow himself to be angry, reasoning that a witch with her intelligence should have no problem understanding any of the above, if she so wished.

But it was a truly rare case, when he was feeling particularly moody, that he would admit that he missed her. Not so much as her touch- he had lived most of his life pretty much absent of human physical contact- than her company. He had lived without that most of his life, too, but now that he had a taste of it, he felt as if he would never have enough again. He felt weirdly like a drug addict. Then he would feel guilty for letting himself be spoilt, and would turn back to work.

Things went uncomplicated for a while. And then, June came, bringing with it the horrors of O.W.L.

He had denied that he cared, even tried to convince himself that he was enjoying his Potter-free days- but truth was, he was worried about his fifth years. Most of the less competent ones would be eliminated, it wasn't those that he was worried about. But what about Draco? Zabini?

Granger?

He had a glimpse of her one day when he was returning from the Great Hall to his office. It seemed to him that she was looking frailer than ever, her face pale with shadows beneath her eyes. She was scolding some third years. He shook his head and hurried on his way, marveling at the power of O.W.L. to reduce even her to venting pressure on some innocent bystanders.

How was she holding up? Not very well, he assumed. How did she do on her Potions exam?

This become some kind of routine in his life. Rituals, even. To think about her briefly between marking one essay and the next. Of course, nothing would happen because of his reminiscing. Or so he thought.

"Sir..." a distant voice came, growing steadily as its owner approached. The door was pushed open with a loud bang. He looked up in annoyance.

"Professor Snape, sir!" Panted Draco, one hand on the door and another on his chest. He was flushing in a strange excitement.

"Draco, what is it so important that requires you to ram into my office in this manner?"

"I- I am sorry, sir," he apologized quickly. "But sir, Professor Umbridge needs you. P- Potter-"

Severus stood up and put on his cloak. Nodding to his student, they went up the stairs, Draco skipping and telling him what had happened. He scowled when he mentioned that _she_ was involved.

_What was she thinking, _he thought irately, _going around with Potter and his abominable rule-breaking habit..._

When they arrived Umbridge's office, Draco pushed open the door. He swept all emotions from his face, and stepped in.

"You wanted to see me, Headmistress?" He glanced around. Potter, the two youngest Weasleys, Longbottom, Lovegood- he mentally quirked an eyebrow at her- and... Granger. Millicent was pinning her against the wall with her natural advantage of a huge body-build, but it seemed that she has not given up without a fight- her frizzy hair was sticking out everywhere. He felt the odd urge to pull the cow of a girl from her.

"Veritaserum, as quick as you can, please." He caught Umbridge saying, and turned his attention to her.

"You took my last bottle to interrogate Potter," he reminded her. "Surely you did not use it all? I told you that three drops would be sufficient."

Umbridge flushed into an ugly shade of burgundy, giving the impression of a cooked frog.

"You can make some more, can't you?"

Urg. That voice of hers. "Certainly," he found himself replying, his voice miraculously devoid of the disgust he was feeling. "It takes a full moon cycle to mature, so I should have it ready for you in around a month."

He watched in amusement as Umbridge swelled like a toad and wished in his heart that she would explode. To his disappointment, that didn't happen. Instead, she_ exploded_ by screaming at the top of her voice. Definitely not a good turn of event. He was vaguely aware that Umbridge was telling him something about Potter trying to contact somebody with her fire.

_Daft boy,_ he thought, looking over to Potter. His green eyes were looking back at him defiantly, intently, as if trying to say-

"I wish to interrogate him!" Umbridge shrieked, and he was forced to look away. Potter was trying to tell him something, but what? Without a Legilimens spell, he could not read his mind, not without tuning out everything and focusing with all his will. And with a toad squealing at him, that was impossible.

"You are on probation!" She screamed. He glanced at her and raised an eyebrow. Were his ears deceiving him, or was he getting something he had wanted for a long time from the one woman he hated the most? The irony of the situation was almost funny. He gave a bow, bending low so that he could hide his smirk, and turned to leave.

"He's got Padfoot!" Potter shouted suddenly. "He's got Padfoot at the place where it's hidden!"

_Idiot! _He screamed in his mind. Even without his blatant hint, he would have gone and found out who he was contacting. But with that very helpful little code...

"Potter, when I want nonsense shouted at me I shall give you a Babbling Beverage," he replied coldly, slipping on his mask. Turning his heels, he exited the room. There was work to do.

* * *

"_Afforio _Sirius Black!" 

Safely locked away in his office, Severus pulled out his wand and chanted. Immediately, the bandit-like face of Black appeared from the tip of his wand, semi-transparent like a ghost. He screwed his face into great dislike when he recognized who summoned him.

"_Snivellus,_" Black snarled maliciously. "What do you want?"

"Shut up. I take no more pleasure from this conversation than you do. Where are you?"

"Why should I tell y-"

"Tell me your whereabouts, now!"

Black narrowed his eyes. "You aren't commanding me, Snape."

"Your clod of a godson just sneaked into Umbridge's office and_ got caught._" His lips curled into a smirk. "Apparently, he thought you were captured by the Dark Lord. As if he would go and capture such a useless-"

"Stuff it, Snape." Black's face twisted in rage. "Harry thought I was captured? How?"

"Someone fishy is living in that house of yours, you mutt," Severus replied darkly. "I am going back to Umbridge's and get them. You go find out what's going on."

Not waiting for a reply, Severus terminated the spell, placed his wand into his robes and for the second time of the day ascended the stairs to the Headmistress's office. When he arrived there, the door of the room was swung wide open. Suddenly, a sunken feeling settled in his abdomen. He rushed in.

Crabbe and Goyle were lying by the window, stunned. Warrington was knocked out. But it was Draco that seemed to be in real trouble. A cloud of flapping... _stuff... _was finding his face interesting and determined to stick to it. The Griffindors were nowhere to be seen. He heaved a sigh.

"_Finite,_" he pointed his wand at Draco. The... _matter_ dropped to the floor. The boy began to gasp for air. Severus pulled him to his feet and rounded on him.

"Where is the Headmistress? Where are the others? What happened?"

"G-Granger," Draco gagged and coughed. Severus frowned.

"What? What about Granger?"

"S-she told Professor Umbridge that t-they have finished something- a we-weapon, and they were trying to contact Dumbledore. She and Professor Umbridge and Potter went into the Forest. Then, Longbottom started to _kill_ Crabbe..."

_What a bunch of crap, _Severus thought in anger. _What was she playing at?_

"How long had they been gone?" He asked steely.

"T-twenty minutes, at least, sir."

"Wake those up." He pointed at the students from his own house, then turned to leave. "When any of them return, report to me."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

After pacing in his dungeon for an hour, Severus conceded that neither Umbridge or the students were returning anytime soon. He rubbed his nose wearily, well aware of the work that was in front of him that night. 

"_Afforio _Sirius Black!"

Again, the holographic face of Black shot out of his wand.

"What now, Snape?" He said disdainfully, eyeing Severus like he was a piece of gum stuck to his shoe.

"Your _godson_," he paused for effect. "And several students were missing. They were last seen with Umbridge going into the Forest."

"The Forest?" Black took a sharp breath. "But it was-"

"Late, yes. I am fully aware of that."

"You don't reckon Umbridge killed them, do you?"

"No," Severus snapped. "I _reckon_ Potter has found a way to the Ministry, breaking every school rule and dragging the others into danger, to _rescue_ you. Who's in the Headquarters now?"

"Remus, Moody, Tonks and Kingsley." Black smirked, as if wanting to tell Severus that they were having a party and he wasn't invited.

"They have to go to the Department of Mysteries at once."

"Why should we listen to-"

"Don't argue with me! There's no time. You- you stay behind."

"What!"

"Shut up and _listen!_ Dumbledore will be there any moment. Someone's got to tell him what happened."

Black did not reply, looking, for once, thoughtful. Then he looked up.

"I will remind you that, Snivellus," he said softly. "None of this would have happened if you hadn't stopped teaching Harry Occlumency."

Severus broke off the connection and walked out of his office.

* * *

The Forbidden Forest wasn't called that for nothing. It was an eerie place even in broad daylight, and tenfold more in the dark. Unknown creatures and dangers lurked behind every bush, waiting for the one opportune moment to seize you and eat you alive. Severus moved in the dark, his boots soundless on the crisp pine needles. He did not light his wand and found his way trusting his sense and intuition.

Summer winds blew in and out of the place, making his face sticky with sweat. His hands were also clammy, and he found it difficult to hold onto his wand. But he didn't dare cast a Drying Charm- any trace of magic could bring him danger, and the Tracking Spell he was using was enough a risk.

_Where are they?_

His throat itched to call out her name. His strides became bigger, but he did not realized his quickened pace until his heart thumped so loudly in his ribcage that he feared some beasts would hear and come after him. What was this worry in him? He could not afford to be worried now. He needed his cool, logical mind more than ever.

Then he came to a clearing, a mess of bent trees and broken branches and scattered twigs. For a fleeting second he was certain that he would find her on the ground, but it soon became clear that there were no lifeless bodies around. He straightened up and glanced at his surroundings. The cluttered footprints in the mud belonged to the centaurs, though it couldn't be they who had wrecked this place. In fact, the only thing he could think of that had the power to-

He paled in the dark. Of course, that explained everything.

_Hagrid, you've really gone too far this time._

He walked several steps further. The centaurs and this giant had a fight here. However, how did the students fit in? Were they caught in the battle? The traces he picked up from the scarf she gave him ended here, abruptly, disappeared into thin air. They couldn't have Apparated. They couldn't have left the Forest's grounds, unless-

_Oh Salazar._

They flew to London.

He could not control himself and started running back towards the castle. He did not give a damn about beasts and trolls at this point. She, flew all over to London! She, who was afraid of height. She, who wouldn't remind Potter of this. And Potter, being Potter, with his mind lodged on a ridiculous vision, would not notice.

And it pained him most that Black was right. It _was_ his fault.

He ran up a flight of stairs and shot past the great doors at the entrance, past the indifferent statues and the concerned portraits, and down into the dungeons. Once he was there, he whipped out his wand and cried,

"_Afforio _Albus Dumbledore!"

The old wizard's familiar bearded face showed up. He seemed to be in a hurry, and his image was jumpy and dim.

"Severus, I trust you've found Harry and the others?"

"No, Albus," he gasped. Only now he realized how hard he had been running. "I just found that they left the Forest, most probably by means of flying."

"I am heading to the Ministry." Dumbledore's face was grim. "The others had gone before me, and I hope they made it in time. I am fearing for the worst, Severus."

"Albus, I-"

"All is forgiven," said the Headmaster kindly. "Go get some rest, boy-"

"No. I am coming, Albus. I am Flooing to Hogsmeade and Apparating to London right now. I-"

"Don't make a rash move, Severus. Voldemort will be there and you know you can't make an appearance. Stay, and take some sleep. I will not allow my students to be hurt. I assure you." Dumbledore regarded him gently. "I assure you, Hermione will be fine."

Severus nodded and put down his wand, stopping the connection.

* * *

It was impossible to try to rest, and Severus wondered idly whether this counted as a kind of insubordination to Albus' orders. He sat in front of the fire, finally getting tired of all that pacing around. It had been a long day, but his mind refused to give it a rest. His favorite potions journal was laying open on his lap, but naturally he couldn't read a page of it. 

Was this how she felt when he was summoned? Uncertain of his survival, anxious of what type of wounds she would find on him when he came back? Was it the same kind of gnawing pain in the neck, a constriction that made swallowing hard?

He sat wide-eyed until the morning broke, staring as the fire reduced to embers and ashes in the fireplace. And he must have rested even if he didn't know, because when the fire suddenly roared to life and turned emerald, and Dumbledore stepped out of it, he was less alert than he would have liked.

"Severus."

"Albus." He struggled to stand up. Shaking himself from the trance he had entered, he gave the Headmaster a questioning look. He was looking tired and old.

"I can't stay long, Severus. I have a very angry teenager waiting for me in my office." Despite himself, Dumbledore smiled at him. "I am just stopping by to tell you that she is in the Hospital Wing. Poppy is tending her."

"Is she hurt?" He asked immediately.

"I am afraid so, more seriously than others. But she will be fine."

Severus slumped back into his chair in exhaustion. Dumbledore watched him, then spoke sadly,

"Sirius died last night."

"What?" His head snapped up so quickly that he felt his neck broke. Black, dead? His one dream coming true, his arch-nemesis, the only living piece of his past-

"I will tell you the entire story one day, over tea and shortbread," the older wizard smiled again, but his twinkle was absent in his eyes. "Right now, I'll have to face the consequences of my wrong decisions..."

As Dumbledore disappeared in the fireplace, his words echoed in the room.

_The consequences of my wrong decisions..._

Severus shot out of his chair and rushed to the Hospital Wing.

* * *

"What _is _the spell, Poppy?" 

"Haven't you heard one word I said?" The Healer folded her arms irritably. "The spell wasn't properly cast, and there is little I can do besides hoping that she'd wake up on her own soon!"

He glanced over at the girl under the white sheets. Her hair was, for once, limp on the pillow. Her small pale face was set, serious, almost like she was merely closing her eyes to concentrate on a problem. Over her bed, he could see the two Weasleys' red hair poking from under their covers.

"-sheer luck. I dare wager that- Severus! Are you listening to me?"

He turned his gaze reluctantly from her bed. "Yes," he replied nonchalantly.

"Anyhow," Poppy huffed. "I've tried everything. Bone-amending remedies, Soothe-Ta-Skin, Coma-Dose, you name it. She'll wake up in several days, if not hours. No need to hustle around here."

"I think I will stay for a bit, Poppy," he informed her, and when she opened her mouth to protest, he held up a hand. "Any kind of potion for a year."

She stared at him skeptically, then a small grin appeared on her lips. "Deal," she said with her nose pointed in the air, and conjured a screen of curtain around the bed, blocking them from any curious eyes. Then she left, humming to herself.

Severus sat himself down into a chair, the hard, wooden kind that was made to hurt the sitter's back. But he didn't care. He leaned in closer and watched quietly. Hours passed and he did not move. Thoughts flew around in his mind, but nothing peculiar, nothing he hadn't thought of before. He was wrong, of course. And she was wrong. Both of them were wrong, and it made no difference. All that left was for him to sit and wait for her to wake up.

Poppy would come in and offer food occasionally, and he would eat to make her happy. Sometimes he would fell into the trance-like sleep again, with his mind reeling and his body resting. More phials of potions appeared on the nightstand as days went past, and the room around them stirred into life. He knew that all the other patients had awaken. He was not worried. The wards he set around was enough to keep the nosy Griffindors out. They would stay in their lonely world for some time more.

If she wouldn't ever wake up, would he be willing to stay here forever?

Before he could think of the answer to that, fate decided that it did not want to know.

It was very, very late in the night, the time of the day when 'late in the night' and 'early in the morning' overlapped. He awoke with a start. Something moved on her bed. He pulled his chair close till he could see her face without bending. His legs were numb, a part of the wooden chair.

Her face was no longer calm, but a crease appeared on her brows. Her eyelashes fluttered, and her hair seemed to be charged and started to curl again. He opened his mouth, but no voice came. Slowly, agonizingly slowly, she wrenched her eyes open.

He stared into them, her widening irises in the dark. He could see recollection trickled back into them.

"Prof-" she tried, a sound rusty and dry like shoes on coarse sand, and attempted to sit up, then winced in pain. "Professor?"

Suddenly aware of his disarrayed appearance, he sat back a little. She turned her head with difficulty, and said again,

"Professor?"

"Hermione," the name rushed out of his lips, pulling all the wind out of him. He felt something shattered inside, and he placed his face into his hands.

_I have been such a fool._

Then, an unexpected touch, cold fingers, placed themselves around his hands, and pried them away. He stared at her, feeling naked and defenseless. She awkwardly put his hands on her shoulders. Using her elbows, she heaved herself up arduously, wrapped her arms around him, and pulled him closer. His arms automatically circled the small of her back, and he buried his face into her neck. She smelled deliciously of antiseptic and potions.

"Hermione," he repeated, his voice thoroughly muffled in her flesh. He had much to say, but all mounted up to one word and one word only, over and over in his head, and he was sure that he had been Obliviated, so all that was left in his vocabulary was that single name.

She did not reply, but as she tangled her fingers into his hair, more greasy than ever for his lack of care in the past few days, he knew she understood.

_The End

* * *

_

A/N: So... that's it! I hope this does not come as a shock. Yes, I have indeed decided to end this fic. There is initially much more to the plot, and I know there must be a loose end or two that I haven't tied up. However, this fic is intended as an _experiment, _as can be seen from the amount of plot devices I used, and I learned a lot from it. But as I grow, both in my thinking and my writing skills, this story has lost its appeal to me. Not that I don't love it. I do, and will acknowledge that without it I would never be the one I am now. But there are more stories that I just _feel _that I have to write. So, the decision is made. I may continue this story in the future, write a sequel, talk more about Severus' past. Though before that, I will have to ignite my passion towards writing by picking up one of the plot-bunnies that have been jumping around and snapping.

Thank you for all of you who have read and reviewed this. The writing experience is very, very gratifying. I enjoy waking up and turning on my computer to find my inbox flooded with reviews. It's been more than a year since I started this fic, and I hope you all witness the change and growth in me. Now, I am off to write another SS/HG (which I definitely am going to inform you about, later). And until we meet again, may your life be full of magic and chocolate. BaYer04rulz aka Zanthia :)


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